Dear Bartemius,

I know it feels a little cheap to just leave a letter under your pillow and disappear without a proper goodbye, and for that I am so terribly sorry. You sure as hell do not deserve it. But I hope you understand that I was bloody scared; scared that if I plucked up the courage to look in your eyes I would not be able to leave. I would not be strong enough to just turn around and walk away from you. Because, truly, there is nothing I wanted more than to be with you for the rest of my days. But I would never be really yours, at least not entirely. This cursed life just is not for me and I think you've known that for quite a while now. Thank you for never judging me. Thank you for being there whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for always being my home.

I can't tell you what I've done or what exactly happened to me, though, and do not think that it's because I don't trust you. You are simply better off not knowing. I couldn't take the risk of them hurting you for information. It does not matter how good at Occlumency you are, they can always tell when someone hides something. I need you to be safe, Bartemius, promise me that you will.

Writing this turned out to be harder than I thought it would be, actually. I can't believe these are the last words you will hear from me; my heart aches at the thought. You are the best person that has ever crossed my path and I am so, so thankful for that. You can't even begin to imagine how much I love you, and it is so sadly unfair that we had so little time together. However, it was worth each second and I am wholeheartedly grateful, although I wish things could've been different for us. I'm sorry for the wrong choices I've made, I'm sorry I failed you this hard, but I've got to do what's right now.

Countless times while writing this I've wanted to throw it all to the wind and just run away with you to a place so distant that we couldn't be touched by this stupid war, however, I don't have the guts to put you in such danger. Stay close to your family, stay close to those who matter. You are so bloody brilliant and you have a whole life of happiness ahead of you. We will be together again one day, I promise — but I hope it is not too soon.

With love,

Regulus