This was sort of depressing to write but I was in a depressed mood. It was inspired by Dictionary Ink and her two amazing Nejiten fics.
Falling Up And Liar, Liar, Right Neji?
Of course mine failed compared to her two fantastic works of epicness.
Anyways…..on to the sad fic…..
Disclaimer: if I owned Naruto then I would also own Neji and Tenten but I don't. Sad.
Memories of Now
You remember when she used to be sad. You could see it in here eyes. And now those eyes are gone.
Just like her. Gone. Gone. Gone…..gone….
Because her body might be breathing and moving and talking and smiling but it isn't her.
She's dead.
Dead. DEAD. DEAD.
She died that day on the battlefield.
And again when she woke up.
But you still remember how she was before.
Before her smiles were actually real and there was no hidden sadness hiding in her eyes.
Before when she was cracked and broken but still liked to play pretend and act like everything was okay. When really it wasn't.
When your team had been damaged since the beginning and was still falling apart ever so slowly. Just like you knew her life was. But she couldn't and wouldn't do anything to stop it and neither would you.
You wanted to help but you didn't because somewhere inside you were too scared.
Scared she would reject you.
But most of all scared that you would fail…..
Just like you failed at so many other things before.
Because you weren't strong enough. Which is why you spend all of your time training.
Always.
Nonstop even when it hurts you keep going because it still isn't enough.
It wasn't enough to save her because the enemy still got her and she was still in the hospital for months and months and months
And you never visited because you felt too guilty because you knew it was your fault
But instead you just stayed in your room and did nothing
No missions no training
Nothing
Because you had fallen apart
Without her you were nothing
But you were still better than you are now because then there was still hope
Now there is really truly nothing
She finally woke up and you were happy
You had missed her
The damaged smiles
All the games of pretend that weren't really games but real life
You missed everything about her
Everything
And when Hinata-sama told you, you went straight to the hospital
Right away
When you got to her room she was still sitting in her bed
She looked at you and smiled
You wanted to die because that smile made all the difference
It wasn't empty or impaired
It was real
An actual smile that showed that she was really truly happy
And later Tsunade-sama told you
For the second time that day you wanted to die. Die. Die.
Because she couldn't remember any of it
Never again
Not the times you and her had trained relentlessly
Or the missions
Or the times you both went out to eat with Lee and Gai-sensei as a team
Or even when you went with her to her parents funeral because it was the right thing to do
And for her sake you didn't tell her any of it
None of the pain
None of the blood, sweat or tears
The two idiots agreed because they too thought she deserved a second chance
You wonder if they regret it now
You also know that they probably don't
They never saw her tortured looks
They too had liked to pretend everything was okay
Covering up all the ugliness with words of youth
Except they hadn't ever known just how not okay it was
You did
You saw her when she was miserable and only fragments of her were really there
You see her now she is cheerful and its all your fault
People thought you took a lot of missions before
And then you stopped but when she woke up and your life got a thousand times worse and everyday you just wished to die you started to take missions again.
Except its different now you don't just take one every few day you take them nonstop
Relentlessly
The cycle is endless
Because you'll never stop
Not until Tenten comes back
Not until your team has not only three shinobi but
Three Shinobi and a Kunoichi
Even though you know that will never happen
Someday you'll probably kill yourself from all the work
Someday….
Someday….
She used to be your someday
You used to love her
You hoped that she loved you too
and someday you wanted
Well you don't really know what you wanted but it had something to do with her
Always
Always her
But that doesn't matter now because she doesn't even know who you are
And you wish she did
You regret the choice to keep everything locked up and sealed away
Because you miss her
You wonder if its possible to miss someone you see everyday
You think it is because you see her everyday even though she doesn't always see you
Your always with her
She's always with him
She belongs to him now
Her husband
And their kids
And when your not on your relentless cycle of missions your with her
Always watching her
You see her nightmares
Even during the day sometimes
In her eyes underneath all that joy and freedom you see just a touch of bitter sadness
You leave
Because its too much
That little bit of sadness makes her look just like she did before and its too much for you
So that's why now you stay farther and farther away
Far enough that you can see her emotions in her eyes anymore
And since she woke up and died you've only talked to her once
And she believed you when you apologized for accidentally walking into the wrong room
It was a lie
But at the same time it wasn't
You had been going to see Tenten
The broken lost girl that you loved
But when you walked in and saw that smile you knew it wasn't Tenten
It was someone else entirely
And that's why right now you stand at her grave
A simple rock with the nameTenten carved into it
Its empty because her body still moves
but her memories are gone and she is a completely different person now
No longer here
She is simply gone
…
…
…
…I don't even know what to think about this one. It came out differently than I expected but I think I like it. I don't know
Please review
