The Unknown Stuntman
by Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife

This was inspired by the Youtube video of the same name. With thanks to Wild David, whoever he is.


It was after breakfast one morning, and my husband, Launchpad McQuack was relaxing and reading the paper. After finishing the funnies, he turned to more serious stuff. He muttered something under his breath as he read.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "One of the major movie makers is thinking of replacing their stunt pilots with computer generated graphics. " Launchpad said.

"Despite the fact they don't "feel" real because with computer graphics, you can ignore physics to your heart's content. You don't like the idea because your parents- and your kid sister, Loopy are stunt pilots for their own air show. And I don't blame you." I replied.

"It's says here they are offering a temporary job for stunt pilots- to give them a chance to PROVE they can out do the computer. The job is only for 3 days! I ought to take them up on the offer!" Launchpad said.

"Why don't you? Mr. McDuck is going to be busy for the next 3 or 4 days. His least favorite time of year- TAX TIME- is rapidly coming." I asked. "You get restless when you don't do something different every now and again, anyway. It might shake him up a little, you taking a temporary job with the movies as a stunt pilot -and he does have the bad habit of taking you WAY too much for granted."

"It is generally healthy to avoid Mr. McD this time of year. He's three times grumpier than normal!" Launchpad agreed.

Launchpad called the "movie people" and talked to them. They had heard of Launchpad McQuack, of course. (Only because he works for Mr. McDuck. PLEEEASE don't Launchpad I said that or I know that, he's a very proud man.) They hired him on the spot, for his name reconization if nothing else. Then Launchpad called Mrs. Featherbee, told her he was leaving town for about 4 days and she said she didn't blame him one little bit.

So it was settled. Launchpad flew me to Hollywood in one of his planes.

The movie people had my Launchpad fly a stunt in the opening sequence of a movie. Some crooks (in the movie) were hiding out in old fake "ruins", built for a world's fair and now abandoned.

Launchpad caused the "ruins" to collapse, forcing the crooks to flee into the waiting arms of the police. (1)

Launchpad flew that stunt and all the others they asked him to do so beautifully, they had to admit he had out done the computer and they promised to keep the stunt pilots working for them.

However, they were rather annoyed at Launchpad for proving them wrong. So when too many people thought that some of Launchpad's stunt flying was computer generated graphics because of his ability to defy several well-known laws of physics when he's flying a plane, they used it as excuse not to offer him a permanent job.

Which was fine by Launchpad. "That was fun. But I know you don't like actors, and besides, I like doing something real. Making a real difference." Launchpad said.

THE END.


(1) Any resemblance to a REAL opening sequence in any REAL film purely intentional.