A.N So here's my first one shot featuring Nell and Richard following the end of Carving a Path. Reviews are always welcome.
The room was lit low, the curtains still closed leaving only a small gap at the top. They'd clearly been pulled shut in a hurry and only a thin ray of late afternoon light shone through. Richard never noticed any dust in that room before, but as he opened the door quietly the faint beam illuminated the particles in the air. The last two days had been hell but with some promise of heaven at the end of it, then at last moment heaven seemed to fade into the distance and he knew then the first real terror since his time in the trenches. He hoped that life didn't despise him that much to take away his last real chance, his only chance. Richard reckoned it had taken twenty three hours since she asked him to fetch the doctor and despite whatever rebellion the baby and her body put up, his son was pulled from her nearly a day later. It had seemed the longest time, more like a week than a day and for the final two hours he had been in the room with her. It was customary for the men to be elsewhere or at least outside the door, but when the struggle became dangerous he was determined to brace it and be with her, every second worrying it would be the last.
The baby was fine, the doctor explained it had been facing the wrong way and had somehow tangled its arm in the chord he had watched being cut. Richard was used to blood and gore, but the sight had been truly frightening when it was feared for both mother and baby. But the struggle came to an end and the doctor won, managing to pull both of them through, Richard had lost neither. But now as he looked towards the bed he saw his wife laid on her side facing away from him, her knees drawn up to her stomach as one of her arms cradled around it. A nurse had been sent for by the doctor but she was now watching their son in the adjacent room and for the first time since the birth Nell was lucid enough to register anything for more than a few moments. These brief interludes had been seized to encourage her to tend for her son and then she would drift off again. However, at last Richard was able to speak to his wife.
The creak of the floorboard gave him away immediately, it often did and her head turned toward his direction and her heavy eyes looked at him. Her face was tense with fatigue and pain, the ordeal had left her body with a great need of time to heal but at the sight of him she seemed to push through what she was feeling and she smiled at him faintly. Richard approached the bed a little shyly, his hands were clasped at his stomach and he played nervously with his fingers. He walked round the side of the bed that she was facing and he sat himself down, her eyes had followed him the entire time. The kindness in her them had not faded though the pain had once again overtaken the smile.
"You've been. Hmm. Asleep a long time."
"The doctor said I lost a lot of blood." She said quietly. "Is he alright?"
"The nurse has him. Hmm. She seems happy with. Him."
"That's good."
Richard brought his hand to her forehead and brushed off the hair that was stuck to it but he lingered there to stroke her scalp. He heard her sigh and it made him smile.
"Hmm. I was. Scared. For a while." He admitted.
"So was I."
"Hmm. Do you. Need anything?"
"I would love something to take away this awful ache." She said wincing. "It doesn't stop. People tell you how painful it is, Betty once said it was like you were being cut in two. I didn't believe her."
"The Doctor. Hmm. Said. There were. Some complications. You're suffering. More than normal."
"Will I be alright?"
Richard nodded at her and he was about to lean in to kiss the top of her head but he hesitated. Nell rested her hand on his leg.
"Why did you stop?"
"Hmm. The mask."
"You've kissed me before with it on."
"That was. Hmm. Before."
Nell removed her hand from his leg and now both arms clutched her stomach and her eyes screwed shut as she breathed in deeply.
"Do you. Hmm. Need the nurse?"
"No."
"Hmm. Anything for. The pain?"
"I've had some, I can't have anymore. I need to be awake."
Nell looked down at the mattress, the pain seeming to bring a kind of melancholia about her and it made Richard sad. He brought his hands to his face and took off his mask, placing it on the side table. Turning back to her he took one of her hands in his own and brought it up to his mouth. The vulnerability within him seemed to rise and Nell watched as the pressure of his lips lingered on her skin for some time. She found herself raising the hand from his touch to weakly stroke his cheek and she said those words she always used.
"It's alright."
"Hmm. It wasn't. It nearly wasn't." He said in a low tone, pressing his cheek deeper into her touch.
"But it is." She assured him, her voice seeming stronger for the first time. "It hurts, I'll heal but he's here."
Richard nodded again and he brought his head close to hers now and he planted soft kisses all over her face finally touching her mouth. They were light and urgent but with no modus operandi other than to assure himself she was most definitely with him. Nell scooted backwards a little and he was able to half lay himself on the bed, her hand resumed massaging his scalp and he looked at her in amazement.
"We need. Hmm. To give. Him a name."
"Did you have something in mind? After your father maybe?"
"Hmm. No. What about your. Father?"
"That wouldn't be very fair on our son."
The comment made him smile and he even laughed lightly at her.
"Hmm. That still. Leaves him. Without a name."
She smiled.
"I. Hmm. Always liked…"
"Go on."
"Thomas."
"Thomas Harrow sounds very nice to me."
There was silence between them now, they merely lay side by side, their faces close looking at one another. In all his days Richard never imagined someone would be able to look at him at such close proximity, to stare into a gaping socket and hideous scarring. But she did and he felt at his strongest when she was. As he continued to watch her, the lids to those beautiful eyes of hers started to droop and Richard began to see the fight in her face to stay awake. Richard's own eye closed briefly and that's when she said his name.
"Richard."
His eye shot open and he saw that only seconds could have past but her eyes looked teary. His hand reached to take hers and he clasped them together.
"He was so small." She said quietly and her grip on his tightened. "They didn't want me to see him, they said he was already dead, still born."
"Hmm. But you did."
"I did."
"Hmm. You loved him. You. Hmm. Loved Elsa to."
"Third time lucky." She said a faint smiling come to her face as a single tear slipped under the lashes of her left eye. His thumb stroked it away before it had chance to run to her chin. "Can you bring him in?"
"Hmm. You need to. Rest."
She shook her head and put her hands onto the mattress hauling herself up into a sitting position, not without groaning in pain. Richard sat up with her and took her face in his two hands, lifting her eyes up to him. She was teary with the pain but her face was determined, after searching a moment longer he got up and went from the room. When he returned he held Thomas in his arms and he sat himself back on the bed beside Nell.
The child was cream skinned like his mother but his eyes were of his father and a dark patch of fuzzy hair sprouted from his head. The child slept soundly and as Richard sat himself back against the bed the child came in better view of its mother. Nell brought her hand out and she stroked Thomas' head.
"There is a Harrow." She said and looked up at Richard smiling. "You need to tell your sister."
"Hmm. One thing. At a. Time."
"You're lucky you have someone to tell."
"Hmm. I know but. Even now. This life seems. Different from the. One before. The war."
Her hand stroked through his hair again.
"Are you happy though?" She asked him and as Richard looked down at Thomas and then up to Nell he found himself smiling as board as he was physically able.
"Hmm. At this moment. I am. Before I. Was scared."
"So was I. But that's past now, it's all new from here on in. Time to properly start I think."
Richard Harrow leant in and kissed his wife on the mouth then carefully he handed her their son. The last few months had brought him happiness, their quiet marriage and subsequent life but there was always the shadow. Sometimes he saw it in her face to, it could cast itself over them at any moment and it tried to the last few days. But not now, never now. As Nell said, it was time to start again.
