AN: Hello and welcome to this amazing three-shot known as "Of Boredom and Threats"! This is also the second posting of OBT
I hope those that enjoyed this fic the first time will also enjoy it the second time around and all those who are new-timers will enjoy it as well.
oh and btw, I changed my username in case you guys thought I stole this story or something...
As for uploading schedule, I'll update the next chapter in three days!
Thank you for reading and please enjoy :D
Disclaimer: I don't own YJ!
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Of Boredom and Threats
Chapter 1
Dick stared at the mirror in front of him, scrunching his nose a bit. God, how he hated these suits. Connor hated monkeys, but Dick hated monkey suits. They were like, literally the most useless things that had ever been invented by humankind. After all, their only purpose for existing was to agonize and torture innocent 13 year olds.
Unsuspecting 13 year olds... Like for example, HIM!
He grabbed his black bow tie off his spotless dresser and began tugging it on grumpily. Yanking it this way and that, he made sour faces at the mirror. The Boy Wonder's ultimate master creation was a huge knot and no bow. He glared at the disfigured lump until a chuckle abruptly resounded from the area behind him.
Dick immediately whipped around and glowered at the intruder. Well, technically not intruder because this was Bruce's house, but whatever. He still glowered.
"Not. Funny." He said through gritted teeth.
Bruce stepped into the room smiling a little as he bent down on one knee in front of Dick. His long fingers began expertly untangling the knot.
"Doesn't Alfred usually help you with these things?"
"He's busy commanding the food army." came the murmured reply
"Food army?" Bruce questioned as he finished his flawless bow and stood up.
"They're in charge of the food, and Alfred is their General so ya." Dick answered looking at the wall and avoiding Bruce's gaze at all costs. Because as the stubborn, childish, teenager had decided, his act of rebellion would be not looking at Bruce in the eye.
Bruce just raised an eyebrow "Well you're in charge of being a moody teenager, so does that make me the General of moody teenagers?"
Dick scowled, now he was looking at Bruce "I'm not the one hosting the stupid charity ball and I don't even have to be there, so in my opinion I have the right to be moody."
"Maybe, but you're still my ward and I'm still your guardian and in my opinion, that gives me the right to drag you along if only to make you suffer—excuse me, mingle—with me. And by the way my opinion is what goes." Bruce finished with a corner of his mouth turned up in his traditional I-won-and-you-know-it smirk.
Dick huffed. "Fine, but I'm only mingling for a little while and then I'm heading back up."
Bruce eyed him with a knowing look "Whatever you say Dick," He ruffled Dick's hair gently as to not mess it up (Alfred would have a fit) and headed out the door throwing back a "Come on"
Staring mournfully at his quiet, peaceful, and best of all, Crazy-over-Bruce-lady-FREE bedroom one last time, Dick followed Bruce out. Here he went again. Oh the not-so-asterous things he was put through.
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Alfred's impeccable and outstanding decorations never ceased to impress Dick…even if he did see them every two months. Then again, it was the perfect cover for Bruce's whole 'Social Brucie' act. No one would ever suspect him of being the world's best brooder of all time.
As Dick got closer to the stairwell he plastered a bored look on his face (It wasn't that hard), bracing himself for the stampede of wild women that were about to overflow him and Bruce.
He began in descending down the steps, Bruce at his side.
Bracing for impact in
3…
The crowd *cough* females *cough* began to squeal. Wow those girls had some freakin' lungs!
2…
And they weren't backing away either
1…
And then he saw her…
His jaw almost fell to the floor. Only 5 years of being trained by Gotham's best poker faced Dark Knight stopped him from doing so.
What was she doing here? He was pretty sure she hadn't gotten an invitation.
Then his eyes fell on the figure standing beside Artemis and Dick almost broke character and groaned. Bette. Well there went the answer to his question.
Out of the corner of his eye, he also noticed that the green archer had a love-struck expression on her face...and it was directed to Bruce. Smirking outwardly and laughing his butt off inwardly, he wondered what Artemis would think if she knew the Caped Crusader had seen her making googly eyes at him.
Oooh and what would Wally think when Dick told him that the love of his life whom he had a love-hate relationship with had looked at Bruce with a lovesick expression?! (Wally claimed it was purely hate. Dick knew better; it was purely love. Just that his knucklehead best bro didn't know it yet and Dick was content to just sit back and watch the show unfold).
Dick would just have to remember to say that he'd seen Artemis do that to a TV picture of Bruce and not the physical Bruce. 'Cause how would he explain that?
He could just imagine how Wally would react. His face would be a mixture of unbelief and horror. The shade of it would match his fiery hair perfectly. Now that would he asterous.
Then of course Artemis just had to go and choose this moment to finally notice Dick and in the process interrupt his hilarious musings. Dick could literally feel her penetrating eyes on him, even if he couldn't directly see her. Then he heard a loud gasp. Using his peripheral vision, he saw that the gasp had come from her—and it had happened while she was looking at him.
Question was why?
For a second Dick panicked thinking that it had been because she'd somehow found out that he was Robin but logic shoved that thought away. That was impossible. Yet, what else could've caused such a reaction?
'Maybe the fact that you're standing beside Gotham's finest!' an annoying voice chided him. And okay, Dick would admit it wasn't every day that you saw a multi-billionaire with a random kid at his side but then again Dick wasn't some random kid. He was the ward of Bruce Wayne and practically the whole coast knew that. Surely Artemis did too—
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her whip around and whisper something to Bette; a few moments later he heard the words "Wayne" and "son" said in a questioning manner as well as the eyes of the emerald girl on him once again.
—Or Not.
Huh? From what he could piece, Artemis hadn't known about Dick being the ward of one of the richest men in the world. Apparently she still didn't know seeing as how she thought that Dick was Bruce's biological son.
Dick thought that Artemis had already known about the whole "A billionaire adopted me" thing. And even more curious, how the heck did it could she think he and Bruce were even distantly blood-related, much less father and son?! They didn't look anything alike!
Subconsciously he glanced at the man beside him. And almost choked on his saliva…
Same hair color and style! (Thanks Alfred…grrr)
Same faces! Whenever a baby was born, Dick would hear the ladies coo about how the baby had "her daddy's nose" or "her mommy's eyebrows", stuff like that. Yet he'd always thought it was sort of female thing, he could never notice any of those things. Little Johnny had little Johnny's nose…end of story!
And yet now…
Dick realized that he practically identical to Bruce. Even their eye color was the same, different shades sure, but still blue. He was a walking mini-Bruce!
Dick wrinkled his nose for the second time that evening.
Suddenly Bruce's voice startled him out of his thoughts. "Aren't you supposed to be mingling?"
Dick glared daggers at Bruce.
"You might prefer that over being stampeded by the herd coming our way."
THE HYENAS! Er…crazy ladies?...they were approaching faster than a flash on a cookie rush! The daggers in Dick's eyes abruptly grew a lot sharper.
Bruce whistled softly "It was just a thought. And they will descend upon us in… a couple of seconds."
Grumbling under his breath Dick began to trudge the opposite way. The great joys of life made him distraught sometimes, heavy on the dis.
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The next, you know, about TWO HOURS, were spent sending charming smiles at every single girl in a one mile radius. He would shake their hands, smile, and "have a conversation". Mostly he just heard them blab on and on about who know who and who knows what.
He would bob his head up and down every once in awhile, playing the look that he was extremely interested in what they were saying when in reality, he was planning ways to prank Bruce.
Hmmm, how about planting a song on a never ending loop at the watchtower? Nah, been there, done that. Maybe changing the ringtone on Bruce's phone? No, he'd already done that too. He actually remembered that specific prank vividly.
Apparently Taylor Swift's Bad Blood going off in the middle of an "Extremely important business meeting" between Dawn Tech and Wayne Corp, was enough for Bruce to ground Dick for about three months from any technology unless it was related to 'extracurricular' activities. Man that had sucked! (Of course watching indignant and incredulous faces directed at Bruce during the whole 'bad blood' episode had made up for it… just a little.)
Ooooh! Inspiration suddenly dialed Dick's number with a passion and left a message: Embarrass Bruce on his next date with Selina, Diana, or Talia, whichever one came first! Or even better: set up a double date with Catwoman and Wonder Woman. Now that he would pay to see.
Waving good bye to his current girl he went on to another one…well it was more like she came to him.
"Hey! I'm Shelby." This girl was a blonde with dark brown eyes. Probably around 14 or 15. Wally would be jealous, Dick was just plain tired/annoyed.
Yet, he sent her a blinding smile and shook her hand "Dick Grayson."
She began to yap… on… and… on… and… yeah, you get the point. All the while Dick perfected his latest prank. It was going to be dubbed, Operation: SLAP Bruce. In which Dick would set up a double date with Selina and Diana and from which Bruce would end up with two twin angry red hand marks on both his cheeks. He grinned.
Shelby seemingly taking the grin as sign that Dick was enjoying what she was saying went on in full force…and Dick had to the fight the behemoth urge to bring his palm to his face—hard.
Catching something about "My daddy's gonna get me the new ePhone a month before its release" he almost grimaced but caught himself. Be-nice-to-girl…Must-be-nice-to-girl!
Stretching his mouth into a smile he nodded. Oh and just for the record, Bruce could him the new ePhone two months before its release.
Shelby finally turned to leave and Dick sent her one last charming smile before groaning soundlessly once her back was turned.
He swept his gaze around the room trying to locate Bruce and when he did, SURPRISE! He wasn't surrounded by crazy ladies! Dragging his feet, Dick made his way over to him.
"Brooooooose!" Dick began stretching his guardian's name out "I mingled, just like you asked me to, now can I please, please, pretty please with a batmobile on top, leave? Pleeeeeaaaaase?" Dick made what he hoped were puppy dog eyes, his baby blue orbs going huge and a pout adorning his features.
Bruce however just smirked, probably used to puppy faces by now, "Sure"
Dick face considerably brightened. He could leave this…wait. His eyes narrowed and he became suspicious. Bruce wasn't done yet.
"You'll just have an extra hour or two with Alfred working on your etiquette. Or maybe I should make it three hours?"
Dick immediately paled. Three hours. With Alfred. Working on etiquette?!
Dick loved Alfred - the elderly butler was practically a grandfather to him - but when it came to Etiquette, you did NOT mess with Alfred. Dick could recite every single rule by memory, and knew when to use each utensil. What type of creature needed that many forks anyway?!
Long story short, Dick would rather spend three hours at the charity ball than working on his etiquette.
He mumbled out an "I'll stay" to Bruce who just smiled
"Good, because if I can't leave, then I'll do everything in my power make sure you can't either."
"Awesome" he grumbled with false cheer. Bruce aka the-best-teenager-torturer-of-all-time (who knew, it could be an official title!) just chuckled.
The pair quieted for a while; Bruce watching the party, a small smile still on his face and Dick sulking at the ground.
Dick was busying himself with thinking about how exactly he would tell Diana that Bruce wanted to go on a date with her (considering Bruce's whole "no dating, only justice" slogan). And he also needed to find out how he would get to talk to Selina without Broody B lurking over his shoulder.
Suddenly, he sense the atmosphere surrounding Bruce change.
Frowning, Dick's eyes narrowed in rigid alertness as he looked up…
… just in time to see the windows crash down.
Men covered in Black and carrying guns spouted out the shattered windows like droplets from a waterfall - dangerous and cunning droplets.
Dick subconsciously felt Bruce's hand on his shoulder since his gaze was focused on a man whom he noted the others stood respectfully (or fearfully) behind. His head was high and his shoulders were squared confidently. The leader.
Boss-man smiled and looked around "Well, Well, Well…What do we have here?" A sadistic look overtook his face and Dick had an eerie feeling that it was going to be a painful night for him.
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AN: Yeah well either it was an eerie feeling or it was just the feeling one gets when they realize the crazy author is a mad genius and has a not-so healthy liking for the dark and painful. MUAHAHAHA
No worries though, I also like fluff!
Till next chappie,
~LB
