Cal smiled smugly. He was feeling very pleased with himself, very pleased with himself. indeed. He had taken advantage of a last-minute cancellation to secure three Parlour Suites on the Titanic's maiden voyage to America. Rose will be thrilled, he thought. And what a luxurious end to their European trip. It would surely provide many after dinner conversations. But when to tell Rose? After dinner he decided. It would also give him an opportunity to impress their hosts. It made him beam with delight.
Rose stared out of the window at the manicured lawns and elegant flower beds. Cal had promised her a stay at a real English stately home and he always kept his promises. The house belonged to Sir George Hardy, a friend of Cal's father. They had mutual interests in the steel industry and politics either side of the Atlantic. Any more than that Rose knew not and cared not. She found Sir George and his wife Lady Mary very narrow minded and irritating. They had a daughter Elizabeth who was a year older than Rose and was also engaged to be married that summer. They had all met up in Paris the previous month where Elizabeth and her mother were shopping for her wedding trousseau. As Cal and Sir George shared the same interests in shooting, fishing, hunting and polo, an invitation to Sir George's country house was duly made and so it was during a cold April that the Hockley wedding party arrived at Faired Manor.
Rose was bored. Cal had spent the previous day looking at dead stuffed animals, guns and horses whilst Lady Mary and her philanthropical ladies circle entertained Ruth. Rose had been with Elizabeth all day, listening to her excited chatter about wedding arrangements and her beloved Charles. An unnerving feeling began to spread over Rose as she realised how much Elizabeth really loved Charles and how involved she had been in the wedding plans, whilst she had been virtually told what was going to happen. The contrast was unsettling and Rose had started to feel queasy, not from the sheer sickly-sweet words of the young girl, but of her own life and the dread which filled her. In her wedding plans, the only thing she had been adamant about, the colour of the bridesmaid's dresses, had caused considerable dismay to her mother who had wanted lemon. Rose wanted lavender and mother was now being extremely difficult whenever the subject was raised. Rose was almost tempted to give in for a quiet life, but as it was the only thing left, she had personally decided on, she vowed to stick by her choice. But Elizabeth and her mother had chosen the dresses, the venue and the flowers together. Charles seemed a wonderful, caring gentleman. "I bet he never raised a hand at her," she thought bitterly. And the more Elizabeth spoke, the more disturbed Rose felt. Why don't I feel like this? she asked herself. But she already knew the answer, it was one that she had never said aloud.
Elizabeth had a secret surprise for her. "I can't tell you what it is," she giggled, "But be down by the stables for 2 pm with your outdoor things on. And don't tell anyone!"
All through lunch Rose was sure Elizabeth would explode with excitement. But no one seemed to notice as Rose's wedding plans were scrutinised by Ruth's new friends. Rose sat composed and sipping tea whilst all the questions posed to her were answered by her mother. Inwardly she was trying to control the sense of rising panic. The previous day she had managed to avoid talking about the wedding as Elizabeth liked to talk about herself so much. But now she could not avoid it. And as the panic mounted Rose struggled to keep control. Everything about her was decided from her attire down to her meals at dinner.
Luncheon over, Rose made her excuses and fled to her room. Once the door was closed behind her the composed facade crumbled and Rose fell into a sobbing heap on the bed with such adrenaline pounding through her body that she shook.
Trudy, on hearing her mistress returning, rushed in to see what was wrong. "Miss Rose, what on earth is the matter?"
"Oh Trudy," sobbed Rose, "I've made such a mistake, I cannot marry Cal, I simply cannot."
Trudy had guessed some time ago that all was not well with the engagement. However, she knew better than offer her honest opinion. "It'll be all right, Miss Rose. You'll see. It's just pre-wedding nerves. You'll be fine, just fine."
Rose stopped crying and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief that Trudy offered. "Yes, it's just nerves. You are right." Rose was beginning to convince herself. "Just nerves." She dabbed her eyes again, feeling the panic leave her body as quickly as it had inhabited her. ''Just nerves.'' She repeated, feeling like one of those poor people who were kept in solitary confinement for repeating themselves obsessively. She felt like she was in a prison.
"I must make myself presentable.''
Trudy got to work and fixed Rose's hair and helped her to change into her outer attire.
So, with her coat on, she was now looking out of the window before she went downstairs. The panic attack had now subsided and she was feeling a lot better although a little curious as to what Elizabeth had planned.
Down by the stable block, Elizabeth was waiting. Although older than Rose, she was small and pale, almost childlike, thought Rose as she watched her fidgeting, blonde curls bobbing out from under her hat.
"Rose!" she exclaimed and rushed over taking both of Rose's hands into hers. "Come quickly behind here. The pony and trap are waiting and we must not be seen!"
She could barely grasp the words spoken to her before Elizabeth pulled Rose behind the block where the trap was waiting with a young man. Rose followed Elizabeth into the trap. The young man touched his cap, took up the reins and off they went.
"Isn't this wonderful!" said Elizabeth, eyes shining. "Now the surprise is this. We have some gypsies camped on the edge of the estate. One of them is a renowned clairvoyant. The crowned heads of Europe have consulted with her! Her name is Madame Roma and I have heard the servants all talking about her. They say she is very, very good." Elizabeth became serious for a moment. "However, if Mama knew where we were going, she would have a fit I'm sure!"
Mine too, thought Rose. She did not share her friend's enthusiasm as since a small child she had disliked fakers and parlour tricks. This was something she had inherited from her mother who had discouraged her from attending side stalls and conjuring shows. Her father, however, had been the opposite.
"So, I asked Cook to arrange for us to have a sitting with her. She can tell us all about our wonderful husbands to be and how many children we will have!"
Rose already knew as much as she wanted to about Cal and the thought of children nearly threw her back into the throes of a panic attack. However, she put on the now well practiced facade and smiled sweetly at Elizabeth. "Yes, that would be interesting." It would pass the afternoon along, too. She needed a distraction from her own mind.
Presently, they came to a small encampment near a wood. Smoke rose from several small fires whilst ragged children ran amongst the gaily coloured caravans and tethered horses. As they came nearer Rose noticed cooking pots were placed over the fires and men sat huddled in groups watching them approach. They didn't move or speak but the children ran up them curious about the two fine ladies who should come so close to the camp. The trap stopped and the young man helped the two girls out. Rose also noticed there seemed to be no woman about. Then out of one of the caravans an older woman appeared. She her shawl tightly around herself as she came down the steps.
"You'll be here to see Madame Roma then?" she asked with a strange almost foreign accent. Elizabeth nodded suddenly almost too shy to speak. The lady went over to another caravan and knocked on the door. The door opened slightly and the woman spoke to an unseen person. She then came back over to them. "She'll see the first one of you now."
"Go ahead," said Rose, pushing Elizabeth forward a little. "I know you will want to go first."
With a backward glance, Elizabeth followed the gypsy woman over to the caravan, climbed the steps and disappeared inside. Rose decided to sit back in the trap and wait. She looked over at the men who still sat in silence watching. Slightly embarrassed by their gaze, she looked at the caravans, taking in their colours and the patterns painted on them. Then she looked back at the children with their patched and torn clothes, matted hair and dirty faces. It was a world away from their own.
"Hello," she addressed them.
The children looked at her in astonishment and then ran behind the caravans. Rose was taken a little aback by this. They peeped at her from behind the caravan, speaking in whispers. She wasn't sure what was worse, being stared out by the menfolk or whispered about by the children. She felt as though she was inside a book of some sort. Ladies of her standing should never come here and she was starting to be astonished at herself for coming to such a place. Her attention was suddenly grabbed by the sight of Elizabeth emerging from the caravan, a beaming smile all over her face. Good news then, thought Rose sarcastically.
Elizabeth rushed over. "Oh Rose, she is so good," she gushed. "She described Charlie so perfectly and oh, we are going to have three children!"
Rose smiled patiently. The thought had crossed her mind that as Cook would have told Madame Roma her client that afternoon was the daughter of the master of the house, gleaning information on her and her fiancé would not have been very difficult at all. Feigning light enthusiasm, she managed a smile.
''Sounds wonderful!''
"Do go in, Rose, do!" Elizabeth implored. "And when she asks, give her this," and she pushed a coin into Rose's hand.
Rose climbed the steps and entered the caravan. It was dark and smelled musty. A chair and table faced her immediately and behind the table sat a lady. Upon the table was an object hidden by a cloth.
The gypsy introduced herself. "I am Madame Roma, please be seated."
Rose peered at the woman before her. Her face was hidden by a veil, but her voice seemed young. In her mind, an image formed of a woman but then she dismissed it. "Thank you," replied Rose seating herself.
"And what is your name?"
Rose noted her accent was the same as the first gypsy woman. "Rose."
"I am Madame Roma," she announced loudly. "Cross my palm with silver and I will see into the mists!"
A hand duly reached out and Rose placed the coin into the palm. Madame Roma lifted the veil from her face to reveal the face of a woman in her thirties with flashing dark eyes. Another veil tied tightly around her head hid her hair. She raised the cloth from the table to reveal a crystal ball, which she rubbed theatrically and stared into.
"I see a strong female presence around you. Forces are pulling into one direction." Her eyes crinkled at the corners. "There is a conflict within and darkness."
Rose parted her lips.
"I see a ship, a voyage. A maiden voyage, perhaps. A great ship!"
Rose was unimpressed. Of course, there was a ship, she was American and had to return home somehow.
"I see a ring, sparkling like the ocean."
Rose was suddenly very conscious of her left hand and slipped it under the table. But it was obvious to her that the gypsy must have seen it.
"But there is joy and sadness with this ring, forces pulling into two directions." Madame Roma's voice seemed to waver. But then it uplifted again. "I see a party, much laughter and joy. There is dancing and music and you are wearing a flowing gown. You are smiling, all is well there is no conflict here."
The only party planned ahead was her wedding party. Definitely not one that would be filled with such joy.
"There are choices to be made later however, two clear paths. Your heart will lie with one. Logic with the other. He will help you to choose. Him.''
Her interest had waned sometime before but now, she truly had had enough. She was about to stand when the next statement stopped her.
"There is danger, beware of the cold! Keep the ones who love you close to hand."
Rose leaned forward. Suddenly, more interested.
''He isn't in your life just yet. But soon. He will be. Mystery, love, innocence, passion, I see blue...''
Her heart started to race a little faster.
"Ah, the mists have returned, I can see no more." Madame Roma looked up at Rose who was flushed with annoyance, she felt silly for becoming caught up momentarily in such nonsense. It was like attending a play...just a storyline to pull in the customers.
"One moment Rose, I have something for you." She reached into a wicker basket at her feet and removed what looked like some plant leaves. To Rose's astonishment, she selected certain stems and tied them together with a piece of ribbon. She handed it to Rose who was still feeling very annoyed. "There is danger ahead, young Rose. Take this charm and keep it with you always. It will protect those who care about you." She paused and them pulled the veil back across her face. "That is all."
Rose stepped out of the caravan and back into the light, clutching the charm the gypsy had given to her. Her anger had partially subsided into sheer puzzlement. She just did not know what to make of it. She felt light headed, dizzy and nauseous. Elizabeth came over and put her arm through Rose's.
"Well, what did say? Is she not wonderful?"
Rose put up the facade again and smiled sweetly at her friend. "She told me all about my wedding. Now Elizabeth, tell me everything she told you."
The ploy worked and Elizabeth spent the entire return journey talking all about what Madame Roma had said, barely pausing once for breath. Rose wasn't listening at first, she was too busy trying to make sense of it all. Failing to do this, Rose turned her attention back to Elizabeth. As she listened, it occurred to Rose that Elizabeth had been told everything she wanted hear, wonderful fiancé, wonderful wedding, wonderful husband, country estate and wonderful children. Details that could easily be obtained from unsuspecting servants whilst Rose was unknown, hence details that were made up or said cryptically so that they could mean anything! Yes, that was it, decided Rose, she was a fraud, a faker for sure. A sure way to make money.
Dinner was over and the servants were clearing the plates away. Cal rose to his feet, champagne glass in hand. His face was host to a brilliant and smug grin.
"On our last night here at Fairhead Manor, I would like to propose a toast to generous hosts Sir George and Lady Mary." A toast was raised and Cal continued, "I would also like to take this opportunity to surprise my most beautiful fiancée with a small announcement." Cal looked directly at Rose and smiled triumphantly. Her stomach sank further inside.
Rose recognised the look. It was the one he always had on his face before he presented her with an extravagant bauble. She mentally prepared herself to feign the same exhausting excitement she always did.
"We will be returning to America on the Titanic's maiden voyage. I have secured parlour suites on the White Star Lines finest!"
Everyone round the dinner table murmured approvingly and all eyes fell on Rose. She caught sight of her mother's beaming smile and then of Cal also smiling. The feeling of panic began to rise again, chilling and strangling her insides. She smiled back. "Well, thank you, Cal. I simply don't know what to say."
''Say nothing, sweet pea. The happiness upon your face tells me all I need to know.'' He told her in a low voice, pecking her cheek.
The conversation round the table struck up again, but Rose did not hear it. All she could think of was that soon, very soon she would be on that ship returning to America and there was no way of avoiding it, the engagement gala first then the wedding. The wedding. Rose's head began to spin. She excused herself from the table with the excuse that she was tired and wished to be refreshed for traveling the following day. They bought it, knowing just how much a woman's beauty ritual was a matter of importance.
Once on the staircase and out of sight, she once again ran to her room and began to sob. When the sobbing finally ceased, she sat at her dresser and stared at her reflection. The reflection stared back, red eyed and sad. How could she be happy? There must be some way!
She heard familiar footsteps on the corridor outside and a quiet knock on the door.
"Rose, my darling, are you awake?"
She sat still, hardly daring to breathe. The handle turned, but she had locked it so she would not be disturbed in her grief.
''Darling?'' He tapped again, louder.
She squeezed her eyes closed, willing him to leave and so Cal's footsteps softly went away and Rose drew breath again. Her eyes suddenly fell on the lucky charm given to her by Madame Roma. The gypsy's words came back to her. "There is danger ahead. Keep this charm with you to protect those who care about you." Well, thought Rose defiantly, I do not believe in fortune tellers but, she paused, almost daring herself to say it, if any harm could come to Cal then...maybe the wedding could be delayed. And of him, the one Madam Roma had told Rose that she would meet. Perhaps, there would be another path available for her to take sometime soon.
With her eyes closed tightly like a child making a wish, Rose threw the tiny bundle onto the fire. The fire crackled and a flame flared up and devoured it.
That is, it, it is done now, decided Rose. What will be will be. And with that she called Trudy and began to get ready for bed.
