Start Over
Saiyuki Fan-fiction
Summary: Homura told Goku and Sanzo he wanted to try living, with their freedom, and the knowledge they might die. He said he envied them. So Goku decides to show him how to REALLY live, and asks the guys to help him strike a deal with the War God. Three months. For three months, Homura will travel with the Sanzo party. And by then, he'll have either learned to live, or...Goku will take his life again.
Chapter One: Saving Homura
"Homura..." Goku stared down at the battered face, the mismatched eyes that were now closed. Dammit. This is...this sucks. I wanted to beat him, but...not like this. And what the hell was that all about anyway? All that stuff of 'when you know you're going to die, you can really live your life.' What'd he mean, he hoped he lived like we did? All he did was start some stupid war, and then wait for me to kick his ass. That's not...that's not living. It's just...so stupid. Homura...it shouldn't end like this.
He reached out to touch the War God's chest, where his nyoi-bo had struck the man. There wasn't any blood, but he knew the impact had broken Homura inside. Even if he hadn't already been dying, that blow had been a critical one. He didn't want to feel what he'd done, but he couldn't stop the gesture.
His hand touched the black-clad chest, feeling the hard muscle under the tight black shirt. He couldn't feel the broken bones and torn body, but...
Goku's eyes widened. Under his hand, Homura's heart still beat faintly. He wasn't noticeably breathing, but his heart was still beating, though barely. Goku stared for a moment, then spun around. "Sanzo!"
"What?" Sanzo frowned down at him.
"Homura...he's not dead yet. He's still alive." Goku felt his own heart pounding wildly. "He's not gone yet."
"I doubt that's going to continue much longer." Sanzo snorted. "Even if he weren't dying of his own mortality, that shot you landed was pretty rough. We might as well leave him to die in peace."
"No!" Goku leaped to his feet, unable to contain, or even explain what he was feeling. "We have to...we have to save him."
"Don't be stupid." Sanzo met his stare with a glare. "You saw, he was looking for a place to die, and a way to die of his choosing. This is what he wanted. You honestly think you have the right to decide for him? Leave it." The golden-haired priest turned away impatiently. "Besides...how exactly do you propose we save him, you stupid monkey?"
Goku spun around to face the other two members of their party. "Hakkai..."
Gojyo snorted. "Don't look at Hakkai like that. He can barely even stand, so you can forget any little chi casting. Especially for this."
Goku felt his fist clench. "But...if we could just...get him out of here...then...then maybe..."
"Forget it. Even if Homura wanted us to save him, Hakkai's in no shape to do so." Sanzo shifted. "And we need to get going."
"Well, I won't argue that we need to leave, but technically, I suppose I could save him." Hakkai grinned.
"What!" Gojyo shot him a look. "Are you nuts? You can't even stand up!"
Hakkai chuckled weakly. "Well, I suppose that is true, but that's more because I happen to have gotten a little beat up by Shien. But...this place is overflowing with energy. I could probably harness some of it to save Homura. Actually, I've been trying to channel some energy for a while now anyway, and I think it might even be working."
"You think?" Sanzo glared at the other man. "But you don't know. And if you're wrong, you'll just kill yourself." He snarled. "This is stupid. Homura wanted to die, and he wanted to die here. He got his wish, and we saved the world. End of story. Let's go, and leave him where he wants to be."
"I can't." Goku dropped back to his knees beside the fallen War God. He knew Sanzo was right. He looked into Homura's peaceful face, and knew Sanzo was correct. But something inside him wouldn't accept it. "I just can't..leave it like this."
"Why the hell not?" Sanzo glared at him. "You have ten seconds to give me one good reason. And if it's stupid I'm going to either kill you myself or leave you here."
"It's just...he was talking...about how he wished he'd come to Earth sooner. About how he hoped...that he'd gotten to live like us. But...he didn't get that at all. He doesn't...he didn't really get to live. All he did was start some crazy fight." Goku knew he wasn't making any sense.
Sanzo sighed in frustration. "For someone like him, that is living."
"But...it's not." Goku swallowed. "I mean, sure, fighting can be fun. But what about all the other stuff? Like all the cool food, and riding down the road in a jeep, and playing Mahjong all night long? What about...stuff like shopping on quiet nights, or looking up at a clear blue sky? He never...he never knew any of that."
"You can't be certain. It wasn't like he was tailing us all the time."
"I know. But...I just...I get this feeling. I don't think...Homura knows about any of that. How can you call that living? If the only point to life is fighting...then why did we save this world? Is that...really why we tried so hard to stop him?" Goku looked up at the man he trusted more than any other. "Sanzo?"
"Dammit. You think saving him now will somehow fix that?" Sanzo glared at him. "You think he'll appreciate it?"
"I don't know. But...I have to try. Even if...even if I have to kill him again...even if it means violating Homura's wishes...I...I want to try. He...I think...even if he was a jerk...he deserves it." Goku bowed his head in frustration.
Gojyo cursed. "Damn. I think you're crazy, stupid chimp." He rubbed his head with his free hand. "And I must be crazy too, because it almost sounded like you were making sense there for a second."
Hakkai stared at him for a moment, then carefully pulled free of Gojyo and knelt beside Homura's form. One hand came up, and a greenish ball of healing energy formed above his palm. He looked up at the monk beside him. "Sanzo?"
Sanzo snorted again. "You three idiots do whatever the hell you want. But this place is going to collapse within ten minutes, and if you're not done, I'm leaving you behind."
Hakkai grinned. "I got it." He leaned over, pouring the soothing energy into the dark form on the ground before him.
Goku watched him with concern. "Hakkai?"
"It's pretty bad, but not as bad as I expected." Hakkai made a face. After a few more minutes, he dropped his hand. "That should hold for a bit. Long enough for me to recover, at any rate." He shook his head. "Now I really do feel totally beat."
"Idiot. You just had to go and show off, didn't you." Gojyo frowned, then bent forward and picked Hakkai off the ground. "Let's go."
Goku looked at the still form. Homura's chest was rising and falling, shallowly, but still...he was breathing. He reached out, then hesitated. Homura was over a foot taller than he was. He wasn't sure how he could possibly carry the War Prince and it was obvious he wasn't going to revive any time soon.
"For the love of...of course you didn't think it through." Sanzo made an exasperated noise, then swatted him on the back of the head. "Move, stupid monkey." With a grudging motion, the priest leaned down and lifted Homura, pulling a limp arm over his shoulders and slipping one hand around the War Prince's waist. "You owe me. Big time."
Goku smiled. "I got it. Thanks, Sanzo."
"Don't thank me yet. He may just kill us all when he wakes." Sanzo scowled, then turned to the doors they'd come through. "Enough. Time to go."
One hand lifted, forming a sign awkwardly around his burden. His lips moved in a prayer, forming a chant. Goku turned, then spotted a splash of red and purple fabric. Homura's jacket. He jumped forward, grabbing it off the ground, then raced back to Sanzo's side as the power of the Maten Scripture burst around them. Within moments, they vanished, crossing back to their own world and leaving the remains of Homura's failed universe to crumble to nothing without them.
Author's Note: Goes from the end of the original Gensomaden Saiyuki anime. There will probably be some divergence, but I will do my best to keep everyone in character. But I thought that it was really sad that Homura died with no chance to really enjoy life on Earth, aside from battles. Hope you enjoy!
