He was still shocked and due to this shock he wasn't able to do anything else than staring at the wall right in front of him. He recently told Beckett that he would be in love with her and now she was shot and lying in the hospital. Actually he planned to visit her but he wasn't able to, therefore he'd need more energy. His mother came in and asked him what was wrong - obviously he hadn't moved since she left two hours ago. "Nothing mum, I am fine. It is Beckett who is injured." Martha shook her head - of course she knew what happened to Kate - Rick told her everything, including the fact that he told her he would be in love with her. "I know you are afraid to go to the hospital but you should really visit her. Maybe she wants to tell you something important. Consider it at least."
"Yea mum. I promise that I'll go and visit her soon, but the fact that I am going to see her hurt like this scares the shit out of me." He sighed slightly. "I know Richard, I know", Martha said. She never saw her son suffering like that – he had to be deeply in love.
A few hours later he has been able to move and to get out of his apartment and into his car. He sat in his car, driving to the hospital Beckett was in. There was no need for him to ask in which room she was, Ryan and Esposito told him yesterday. But they also told him, that she has been sleeping all the time.
Swallowing he knocked – in case she was still sleeping - on the door very slightly. There was no answer so he pushed the handle and walked inside… and he was right: she wasn't awake yet. You can see so much pain on Castle's face as he eyed her, the woman he loves is in so much pain and he was not able to help her out of this situation. Probably the worst thing for him was that he wasn't sure if she heard his words, the last words he said to her. He didn't know if she would love him, too.
Her not waking up is no option – not at all. He's clueless. He didn't know what to do if he'd lose her. She was his everything, his muse, his partner, his counterpart, his soul mate, and his life. His thumb stroked along her back of the hand memorizing everything they did together. The kiss, all the coffee's he bought her and all the funny situations they had together. There has to be so much more. More time. More memories. More Beckett. More 'we are like Turner and Hooch'.
Then he heard a sudden noise - she movind. He had to look twice, but it was right. She moved her mouth. "Say it again, Kate. Please Kate, just try it again." Her tongue damped her lips and she opened her eyes. "Richard Castle.", was the first thing that came out of her mouth. "Yes, yes Beckett, I am here. I am here." He was biting his lips all the time. What would she say…He didn't know.
"Castle, thank you for saving me. You just saved my life." "Oh Beckett, I would do it again. Of course I would." Beckett smiled slightly. "I have to tell you something, Castle. I … - I love you, too. I loved you all the time, but I was afraid to tell you, because I thought you would say 'no'. But I lay there in the grass, shot – and you said you would love me. I was begging to god that I would survive this just that I can tell you, I love you, too." Castle leaned forward, still holding her hand. Some moments later their lips met. This was a real kiss, no fake 'undercover-kiss'. It was a long and deep kiss.
