You were lulled awake by your ringing telephone.
God, your ringtone was so annoying. The day you let Seungkwan convince you and Jihoon to switch phones for a day was the day all of your ringtones got changed to Seungkwan in an annoying voice singing various kpop songs.
You could always change it back. You should change it back.
Instead, you slid the small green circle across your phone screen.
"Hello?" You asked groggily. You didn't bother looking at the time. You knew without looking it was damn too early for you to be up. You wanted to get this phone call over and go back to sleep.
"We aren't talking to Jihoon any more."
You rolled over, burying your face into your pillow.
"Okay," you mumbled. The phone line went dead, and you fell back asleep.
A few hours later you got up and went about your life the way you always did. It was the summer so you were off of classes, but you were working 30 hour+ weeks at a fast food joint and your life was too hectic nowadays for you to worry about what your best friend had done.
You plugged your ears with your earbuds and went about your day, ignoring the blaring world around you. You could tell just at a glance that they were all talking about Woozi.
Part of you wondered what he did. Part of you was just going with it.
You had no text messages from Jihoon. If it was important. He would contact you.
"Did you hear-"
The whispers were hard to ignore.
It was important.
Why hadn't he messaged you yet?
You clocked in and began to run back and forth, falling into your usual routine. You noted when any supply was down, when anyone in the drive-thru needed help, when any employee-in-training had a question and you were there before they even realized that they needed you.
It was the only thing you knew how to do right. One of the few things you really felt comfortable doing. You had been there for years, and you'd be there for at least another two.
You were comfortable. You were in control.
"He cheated on me. Can you believe that? He was obsessed with me and he cheated on me?"
Outside of work you were Siheo's best friend. You weren't yourself. You were Siheo's best friend. There to listen to her gossip, there to agree with all of her problems.
You knew that she was wrong. You'd known Jihoon ages longer then she had known him. He had never really liked girls, for this exact reason he hadn't really liked girls.
They were too dramatic for him. He thought they were manipulative. He preferred not to get to close because every girl that he had ever gotten close to had ended up being mean.
You had fought tooth and claw to get close to Jihoon. He didn't even want to talk to you for the necessary stuff when you were helping the group with some tour promotions.
You'd always been a bit of a fan of his, so you had promptly told him to get over himself and let you into his life. It's been five years since he stopped being a dumbass about talking to you, and after only a week of you guys being around one another constantly, he truly opened up.
To say that you couldn't imagine what your life would be like without Jihoon was an understatement. You guys spent an inordinate amount of time together. You helped him compose for the group and helped manage Seventeen more then you had any right to. Your free time was almost always spent at Pledis, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
"Hey are you going to be able to come tomorrow to help me teach the guys the song?" Jihoon asked. He was barely paying any attention to you as you packed. He was too busy going over the arrangements for the last minute song they were putting together. Still, you shook your head.
"No, sorry, I have plans."
Jihoon's head shot up and he gave you a look of genuine confusion.
"Is it that unbelievable that I'd be busy?" You asked incredulously. "You know my life doesn't revolve around you guys."
Jihoon scoffed and looked back down at his paper.
"What are you doing tomorrow then?"
"My friend Siheo will have my head if I don't spend some time with her tomorrow. She just broke up with her boyfriend."
"Is she sad?" Jihoon asked. You rolled your eyes, turning your head so that Jihoon couldn't see it.
"No, she just wants to tell me how crazy he was," you responded. "But I have to be there and I have work for the rest of the week so-"
"You work?!" Jihoon blurted. You laughed.
"Well you don't pay me."
You swung your bag over your shoulder and walked over to him, draping your arms loosely around his neck as a farewell hug.
Jihoon wasn't very openly affectionate, he hadn't been since you first met him. But you had noticed that he got mad at you when you didn't hug him before you left.
The first week that you had been with Seventeen you had made a point to hug each and every one of them before you left. Everyone was really into it, except for Jihoon, so one day you hadn't hugged him good bye.
He was unbelievably cold the next day to you and he didn't have to say it but you knew why.
"I'll see you soon Jihoon," you mumbled.
"See you," Jihoon repeated in farewell.
You fell into a pattern of sorts. You worked, you went to school, you helped out at Pledis, and you pretended to be best friends with Siheo.
That was one of the hardest things you had on your plate, being friends with Siheo. It was nothing against her, you loved her and all, she was just a lot. Her entire personality was very dramatic and it revolved around all the drama in the lives of everyone around her. Before you had started working for Seventeen you hadn't ever been annoyed by it but working with the boys (not the kpop group of that name of course) really made you realize that there was a life outside of the constant drama.
You started to dislike spending time with someone who was constantly so negative, and being around Siheo just made you miss being around the others. She could feel you pulling away from her, so she always insisted that you guys spend more time together. You obliged. You had no real intention of cutting off ties with her. You knew that part of her already loathed you but you weren't going to make her dislike you even more. So you spent your time with her accordingly, just listening to her talk about other people in biased ways that you were pretty sure you couldn't trust.
"So it turns out he's been stalking me- I almost broke up with him when I found out," Siheo was saying. You glanced at her. You had barely been listening before. You kept trying to digest the words, but all the negativity against Jihoon simply wasn't absorbing. "But he was so sweet insisting he would change and he was sorry and that all this really proved was how much he loved me, and I fell for it of course, cause I love him."
Wrong. Siheo didn't love Jihoon. If she had ever loved Jihoon she wouldn't be doing this. God, this didn't even sound like something Jihoon would do. He was an idiot, sure, but he wasn't obsessed with anyone.
On the contrary, you could see him taking a lot of pictures of someone he liked.
He had always really liked taking pictures of people around him. You hadn't noticed it at first because he went through phases but once you noticed it it was hard to ignore.
You had been recently interested in learning some of Seventeen's choreography. It wasn't something you were generally interested in but recently it had been on your mind. You couldn't get the image of the boys flawlessly dancing out of your head and you wanted to try being like that yourself.
You had mentioned it to Minghao, who mentioned it to Lee Chan, who mentioned it to Hoshi who over eagerly offered to help teach you the choreography for Thanks.
You, of course, agreed and were now just waiting for him to meet you in the dance studio to start. As you stood there, idly staring at your shoelaces, nervous as hell to begin learning hard choreography with a professional choreographer, you got distracted by your shoelaces.
They were loose. You hadn't noticed it before but they were loose and you knew that if you ignored that minute detail now it would drive you crazy the whole time that you practiced with Soonyoung.
You dropped to your knees and began to unlace your shoes. As you worked on the thin laces you noticed someone enter the room. You just assumed it was Soonyoung and brushed the strands of your hair out of your face as you focused on tightening the laces on your shoes.
"It's really nice outside today. After it rained all last week I kind of forgot that the sun existed, but I walked outside today and looked up and there it was just like it always has been. And it's like perfect out. Not too hot, not too cold, the perfect amount of wind, and just enough clouds in the sky. The day almost feels perfect wouldn't you say?"
You were met with silence, and just before you looked up you heard a click. You frowned and looked up.
The room was empty except for one
The only person standing there was Jihoon and he had a camera held over his eye. He looked a little sheepish at having been caught but said nothing to explain why he had taken a picture of you, so you didn't say anything either.
Eventually, Soonyoung came into the room, and Jihoon excused himself without a trace of any real emotion on his face.
You wondered for ages about why Jihoon had acted that way that day.
No one really talked about it but you noticed that Jihoon liked to take pictures of things. Sometimes it was nature, sometimes it was people but no matter what, it was always clear that he was taking pictures of instances. Moments, not people or things.
His pictures were a collection of the things in life he found precious.
You realized that after a while, and whether the other boys knew it or not they just went with it. Jihoon was no professional photographer but if he had his camera and wanted a picture, they would all move mountains to make it happen just the way he wanted it too.
You knew that Siheo had been lying about him taking pictures and her finding them because you had never seen the pictures he took. You had no clue where they went, if he developed them and where he put them, but if you had never seen them then there was no way she had. Despite them dating, they had not been closer than you and Jihoon had been.
Likewise, Jihoon never really took pictures of Siheo. You knew she would have noticed if he had taken that clunky camera on any of their dates Siheo would've complained about it. She complained about every little thing he did. You would've heard about it before now.
You didn't say that though. You just sat and let her talk.
"So a few weeks later I decide to swing by his apartment as a surprise to bring him some lunch and I hear some noises coming from the room. I use my key to get into the apartment and... well I won't tell you what he was doing to spare you the dirty details but.."
Her voice trailed off to you as she continued speaking.
Liar.
God, she was such a liar.
You knew that she was lying because she didn't have a key to his apartment.
You knew she didn't because almost nobody did. Only the people he really, really trusted had a key to his place. That really just made the list you and Seungcheol (no offense to the other guys).
He had always been very secretive of his home. You had never bothered him about it at all. You hadn't even asked to come over or see where he lived, but the topic came up eventually anyway.
"Hey, y/n. You aren't doing anything tonight are you?" Jihoon asked. You had just been about to leave. You had finished saying goodbye to everyone and had only stopped by Jihoon's studio to stay good night.
He was acting around everyone like he was getting prepared to go home as well, but you could tell tonight was an all-nighter for him so you had spent extra time making sure to leave him so of his favorite noodles in the fridge in case he got hungry.
You couldn't convince him to go to bed, but at least you could get him to eat.
"Yeah, why? What's up?"
"Do you mind swinging by my place and grabbing the binder on my kitchen table?" He asked. He slid you a pair of keys without even looking at you. "Just bring it in tomorrow?"
You smiled and gave him a goofy salute, the keys in hand.
"Can do!" You said happily. You were almost out the door when he called after you again.
"Just make sure not to touch anything. Grab the binder and go. In and out y/n," he called after you. You waved your assurance to do just that over your shoulder.
And you totally meant to keep that promise.
But while going in and out you couldn't help but notice how impersonal and... dark Jihoon's apartment was. There was no life in it, it was so empty like no one even lived in it.
Despite your better judgment you may or may not have been late to Pledis that day in order to buy him some succulents and paint him some flower pots and put them on his kitchen table.
You didn't say a word to him about it.
You honestly thought he would be pissed about it.
Jihoon came in the next day an odd expression on his face. He hadn't said a word to you really. Just slipped you a key.
"If you ever need anything," he mumbled. "You can come to my apartment at any time... Thanks for the plants"
And that had been that.
Talking to Lee Chan later you found out that the fact that he had given you a key at all was bizarre. He wasn't fond of plants, and every logical thought led to him being angry that you had messed with his system.
He wasn't.
But he never let anyone into his apartment. Especially Siheo. He had always been really weird about letting Siheo come by his apartment.
"I walk in and... Well, I'll spare you the details but he was participating in some acts with another lady-"
Hah. Another lie. Siheo was the very first person that Jihoon had actually dated. Not to mention that he had never done... that before. The guys had made fun of him about the fact before. There was no way.
"So we get into this huge fight and I break up with him of course because I have self-respect and I guess that Jihoon is just another man."
Just another man.
Jihoon had never been just another man. Not for as long as you knew him.
He had aspects in him that reminded you of other guys you had known. He was in some ways very typical, always compensating for his cuteness by wearing dark colors, and by refusing the cute traits about him.
In other ways, he was very atypical. He couldn't be placed in any simple box because he wasn't any simple person. He was different than that.
You couldn't place it but Jihoon was different than that.
He was different then what people said he was. He was different then what people were saying he was.
"Hey, can you help this next guest?" One of your managers asked. You gave her a pressed smile and set the box you had just brought up from the back on the counter.
"Of course."
You turned to the counter and pressed yourself up against one of the registers in order to get the said guests attention.
"I can serve you-"
The words died on your tongue. Your happy facade faded.
Jihoon had looked better in the past. He didn't look too good today.
He was in black sweat pants. He had a black jacket zipped up to his chin, a face mask spread over his nose and lips and glasses perched on his nose to hide his eyes.
"You shouldn't be here," you mumbled.
"Even idols have to eat," he responded. You could hear the smile in his voice, but it just made you mad. Or... For a better choice of a word, you supposed it just made you sad. You missed him. You'd only been away from him for a little while, but you missed him. You wanted the truth among all these lies.
"Well then please, go ahead and order," you stated. You looked down at the screen. He just stared at you. "You know she works here too. She's on shift. If she sees you-"
"I didn't do it," he interrupted. You could feel his eyes on you, but you just ignored it.
"I shouldn't even be talking to you right now," you mumbled back. "Siheo says I'm not to be friends with you anymore."
"Come on, I know you don't believe her," Jihoon pleaded. "And you're not going to stop talking to me because of this."
"I guess you don't know me very well in that case because I will gladly stop talking to you because of this."
You had to do something so you entered something into the cash register that you thought he would like.
"You won't," he stated. You looked him dead in the eyes.
"You owe 10000 won."
He dug out his wallet and without a second thought put his card in the card reader.
"I need you to help me prove I'm innocent," he said. "I can't do it without you."
"Bros before hoes my friend. Didn't I always tell you I'd be on Siheo's side if you two broke up?" You asked.
You had never outright said it but you knew it was implied from the beginning. You had never chosen Jihoon over Siheo before and you had never been secretive about it.
Anytime you had to leave Pledis early it was because of Siheo, and he was always the first to know that. He had always known that Siheo came first.
"I know that it's always Siheo first," Jihoon responded. "But I also know that we are best friends and I know that you'll help me."
You walked away from Jihoon, bagging his food from where it was in the shutes and handing it to him over the counter.
"Did you want any sauces?"
"Y/n. Please."
You pressed your eyes shut tightly.
How long had you been in love with Jihoon? Since before he decided that dating Siheo was a good idea. Since before the two had even met.
You had never really outright said it to Siheo either, but you suspected that she'd always known that you liked Jihoon. You always talked about him different then you did about everyone else. There was no denying that there was something about him that you found special.
You had never thought that if the two ever met they would start dating.
"Siheo's coming by today," you said as you shoved a book into your bag. Jihoon tilted his head to the side.
"The infamous Siheo is coming here?" He asked. You sighed and nodded.
"She's suddenly all interested in my life. She got a job at my job. I think she's afraid you guys are making me too dependent of thought. She wants to make sure our friendship isn't threatened."
"So she's coming here."
"The source of the problem."
"So she wants to meet me?"
"Nah, she wants to meet Seungkwan. You know I talk about him more then you," you teased lightly. "Or maybe even Mingyu, someone manly who I might want to date you know? A threat to our friendship."
"Ouch," Jihoon said with a laugh. You were about to say more when suddenly someone tackled you from behind. Your smile left your lips.
"Siheo's here," you said. She put her face in your face and you smiled at her.
"Siheo, meet Jihoon, Jihoon this is Siheo."
You could see Jihoon's walls go up the minute his eyes laid on Siheo. She was like your average mean girl. Spoke like a Valley Girl from America, used hair flips and bats of her eyes to get what she wanted. She wasn't completely mean, but she could be manipulative whether she meant to or not.
"This is Jihoon? I've heard so much about you!" Siheo said excitedly. She bounced over to him and laid her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "But our mutual never told me how attractive you were."
Jihoon froze up. You wrinkled your nose and pulled Siheo by the hand to get her off of him.
"Come on, Jihoon isn't the only one in the office you have to meet. Besides, if you think he's attractive, wait till you meet Wonwoo."
You started to leave the room, dragging Siheo along with you. You glanced back at him and Jihoon smiled at you.
"You're too cruel," Jihoon joked. You rolled your eyes.
"I'll see you around."
A week after that and they were dating.
You had always had a bit of an inferiority complex when it came to Siheo. She took over everything that you liked and made it her own. Your only safe haven had become Pledis, and then even that was taken. And to make it even worse she started dating the guy that you liked.
"I hope you don't mind."
You tilted your head towards Siheo, frowning ever so slightly.
"Don't mind?"
"All the time I'm spending with Jihoon now. You guys used to spend so much time together. You must hate how close we are now."
And you had hated it. But not because you liked him. You hated it because she took everything you wanted. You hated it because Jihoon could be so much happier with someone who liked him more and you hated it because Jihoon wasn't the right guy for Siheo.
You hated it even more because if you said anything then you knew that Siheo would out your crush to Jihoon in a second and the whole situation would be marked down to jealousy.
God, you wished that your feelings for Jihoon could just be marked down as a simple crush. You weren't sure exactly when you had started to like him. You just woke up one day and realized that you were in love with him. You had always worried about falling for your male friends but you had never really worried about it when it came to the Pledis boys.
You should have known that the closer you got to Jihoon the more you would like him, but your type had never been anything like him. He was different. Why did you like him?
"After work, I have to hang out with Siheo. We can't be suspicious so I can't ditch her for you. I have tomorrow off. I'll come by."
"Thank you," Jihoon responded softly. You glanced to the side and breathed sharply out of your mouth.
"Get out of here Jihoon the whole world hates you."
"But you don't," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
You watched him walk out of the restaurant, and your heart sank.
"What would you do if you had never started working here at Pledis?" Vernon asked politely. You let your head loll to the side.
"There wouldn't be much different I don't think. Maybe I'd still be doing theater," you said thoughtfully.
"You did Theater?" Jihoon asked. A small smile was crossing his lips as he tried not to laugh too hard. You rolled your eyes.
"Don't laugh. It's a lot like the idol life," you defended. "Spending all your time at rehearsal, stressing about a few weeks at most of the promotions. Feeling utterly satisfied once it's all over."
"You're adorable," Jihoon said with a laugh. "What were you, ensemble?"
"I'll have you know that I was never the lead because I'm not a great actress but I was Tracy's best friend in Hairspray, so take that buddy."
Seokmin laughed from where he was lounging between their practice schedule and he got to his feet, patting you on the back. "Even the supporting roles are good roles."
"Only a lead actor says that," you said with a laugh. "But either way us theatre kids have to stick together."
You two linked arms, which made Jihoon roll his eyes.
"Alright, children we have a lot to get done so let's get back down to business."
After that, you and Seokmin made a point to flaunt that you were theatre kids around Jihooon as much as possibly joined often by Seungkwan, a few times by Seungcheol and once or twice by Vernon. It was a lot of fun.
You hated to admit it but you loved those small totally meaningless interactions. Any chance you got to hang out with the boys and tease Jihoon to the extent that he would be annoyed enough to tease you back was a chance you took.
He didn't mind your constant cries for attention because you never bothered him when he actually needed to get stuff done and focus, and you bothered him especially when you knew that he needed the distraction.
You had been watching the boys of Seventeen for the last two hours and you knew one thing for sure. They were all on edge. You knew the comeback was coming up soon and they were all worried about how it would be taken.
You knew everyone would love the new comeback. It was a combination of everything that everyone always had loved about Seventeen and always would love about Seventeen, but the boys didn't get that.
Jihoon kept reading over the lyrics and rerecording different parts of the song as if they would even change it this far into the game. Likewise, Hoshi and Minghao were nervously going over choreography with almost the entire group while Seungkwan sung songs in the corner and Seungcheol ran between all of the groups.
Not a single soul in Pledis seemed to not have the jitters, a single question hanging over their heads.
Will this comeback be their last?
You scoffed at the unasked concept.
It wouldn't be. You knew it wouldn't be.
But you knew that you had to get their minds off it. Somehow, someway you had to distract them all from all the anxiety.
You cleared your throat and stood up in the center of the room.
"So, I have a boyfriend," you blurted out. The entire room fell silent and all eyes were on you. You had figured that would get their attention. The guys were always teasing you about getting a boyfriend. Jeonghan was always telling you that if you spent less time with them, maybe you would finally find someone. You were always assuring everyone that with or without pledis you didn't have time for a significant other.
You knew that they were all just nosey enough to care if you said that you were suddenly dating someone.
All of their gazes were wide-eyed and curious. Jihoon's was a little less innocent than that but you were ignoring it for the moment.
"And... You know him," you added cheekily. "Can you guys guess who it is?"
In an instant, Pledis became a battlefield. The boys split into teams firing questions at you about this mysterious boy. How old he was, how long you'd known him. how you met.
You answered each question as ambiguously as you possibly could, able to endure the embarrassment of the guys wanting to all give your boyfriend the talk when they hadn't even met him yet. The only one who didn't speak that much was Jihoon, and even he was no longer worried about the comeback.
After about forty-five minutes of ambiguous answers and extremely embarrassing questions, Jihoon finally interrupted the show with a roll of his eyes.
"You guys are all idiots," he stated. He walked over to you and sat down cross-legged. "She's talking about a movie."
"Ding, ding, ding," you said with a laugh. "Who wants to meet him? Aka watch the most recent Marvel movie with me?"
Seungkwan burst into laughter, and the boys interrupted right back into chaos. You weren't listening to any of them. You were too focused on Jihoon. He was still being a bit too silent beside you. You placed a hand over his on his lap.
"At least tell me that I fooled you for a little bit?"
He quirked his head to the side in thought for a moment, and his expression softened.
"Just for a second," he said softly. He looked at you, a little more vulnerable then you were used to seeing him. "If you had been dating someone, I would've been a little offended. I'm your best friend right? I should be the first to know that kind of thing."
"When I do date someone, you will be the first to know," you assured your voice matching his. Soft.
"And," Jihoon added abruptly. "I better know him first. Don't start dating someone out of nowhere that I don't know."
"I wouldn't dream of it," you said with a laugh. You then tilted your head. "And you know what, just to keep the playing field even same goes for you. You better tell me if you start getting all lovey-dovey with some girl. Knowing you you'll need a lot of help when you get into a relationship."
Jihoon smiled, and there was something behind his smile that you couldn't place. Were his cheeks red or was that just a trick of the light?
"So it's a promise then?"
You stuck your pinky finger in the air towards him.
"Absolutely."
He smiled right back at you and hooked his finger with yours. You guys pulled your hands together, knuckles brushing as your thumbs touched.
You wrinkled your eyebrows.
"Aren't we supposed to kiss somewhere too?" You asked. "I can't remember where or when?"
He chuckled softly and pressed his lips to where the pads of your thumbs were touching and then released your hand.
"Go get your coat, and we'll all go with you to the movie," he stated. He started to collect the other boys, but you were a little too lost to really focus on the situation.
You couldn't remember how the pinky promise was supposed to go but you knew it wasn't supposed to go like that.
Jihoon kept his promise. He told you a little after he met Siheo that he knew she liked him and that she was making it obvious that she wanted to date him. He told you he was going to say yes if she asked.
The day Siheo asked he texted you.
You didn't cry.
That was the worst part. That was when you realized exactly how hard you had really fallen for him. Because you didn't cry. You didn't cry over him once. Instead, you just felt completely drained. So utterly depressed that you felt empty.
You were luckily super busy the next week, and Jihoon had known about it for ages ahead of time so not seeing you for a week wasn't suspicious at all to him.
"I'll tell you everything-"
"You don't have to," you interrupted before Jihoon could waste his breath. "I knew from the moment that she told me what happened it was a lie. I was hoping she would go back on it but she isn't even apologetic."
You sat down beside him and handed him over a bag.
"In there is her phone. That's all the evidence you need. I'm sure you know the password. If you take her on a show next week I'll get her to admit that it's a lie."
"Wha-"
"Don't worry I already scheduled everything. Sorry, it's in a week, I have to get the courage to talk about all of this with Siheo, she likes me because I'm the passive friend, so that will be something to get around..."
You paused to run a hand through your hair, you turned and looked at him.
"Anyways how do you feel?"
You didn't really want to mention it but you had seen some of the pictures that were being posted of Jihoon on the internet. You knew what people thought of him, what people thought he was capable of.
The comments had even mad you angry, all of them accusing him of being a bad person. The ones that made you angriest were the videos. "Moments in which we should have realized Lee Jihoon was just like any other man".
You seethed every time it popped up in your youtube feed. Even called Youtube to complain. You, of course, knew that your comments defending him didn't do anything other than attract people that said that half of the problem was people like you who defended Jihoon, but still. It made you angry that everyone had just believed this. You hated how quickly people turned on the famous.
You got so lost for a moment in your inner rage that you didn't even realize that Jihoon hadn't yet spoken. You willed yourself to calm down and looked at him.
"Jihoon?"
He was staring at you with this weird look on his face. Like he had just realized something monumental. You reached forward and gently poked his forehead.
"Woozi."
That snapped him out of it. He wrinkled his nose and turned away from you.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," he mumbled obtrusively. You scoffed.
"Oh is that what they're calling exhausted nowadays?" You asked him. "You need to get some sleep. There's no point in staying up all night, it won't fix anything you know that?"
"You're such a hypocrite," Jihoon argued. "You clearly haven't been sleeping recently either."
"That's different. You know how busy I am," you argued.
"And I keep telling you that keeping that busy isn't good for you. You need to drop something," Jihoon shot back.
You knew he was right, but to be completely honest, you needed the distraction. Once he started dating Siheo you realized that if you didn't keep your schedule so busy that you were doing stuff 8am until 2am you wouldn't be able to sleep. Obviously, not sleeping wasn't allowed to be on the agenda so you quickly picked up a bunch of extra shifts at work and responsibilities around town so that you were constantly busy.
The busier you were, the less time you had to overthink this whole "jiheo" situation.
"I need to keep busy right now," you murmured. "You know I have a lot of student debt, I have to pay it all off somehow."
Jihoon sighed and looked down at his hands.
"I missed you."
You were startled by that sudden statement.
"What?"
"I missed you. I miss you. I feel like I haven't really seen you since Siheo and I started dating."
"You know that's not true," you replied with a short, nervous laugh. "I'm at Pledis all the time."
"Yeah, but you've been busy with Seungcheol recently," he murmured back.
"We've been arranging-"
"Yeah, I know."
Jihoon stood up and smiled at you, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.
"I should get going. Still, have practice even though our schedule has mostly been suspended."
"Pledis suspended the schedule?!" You blurted. "I swear I don't know why they even hired me. I tell them to make a statement and go on with the schedule as if nothing is happening and I'll fix everything and what do they do? They don't release the damn statement and they suspend the schedule. It makes it more suspicious this way!"
You stood up.
"I'm calling the show you were supposed to be on tonight. Tell Seungcheol, and post a statement on your personal instagram saying that the rumors are fake. Have Seungvheol send me a group picture of you guys, tell him to make them something that really humanizes you and I'll post a statement on the seventeen instagram."
"But-"
"They won't fire you and who cares if they fire me? This could help preserve your innocence okay? We have to maintain a good image for you as best as we can until the truth comes out. Now, go."
Jihoon pressed his lips together but nodded his head.
"Alright. I'll see you then."
You waved to him distractedly as you rushed out of the room in order to try and fix this mess.
"You're a carat right?"
You looked at the CEO of Pledis, a partially amused expression on your face.
"I'd use that term mostly loosely. I'm not looking for this job because I'm a carat if that's what you think," you responded. The CEO looked puzzled.
"Then why-"
"Why do I want this job?" You finished for him. "Because you're an idiot."
The CEO's jaw dropped.
"Wha-"
"You proved when Pristin disbanded that you can't handle your groups. You need help managing Seventeen or you will end up letting them disband too. I don't need to work with them necessarily, but I won't let you let them disband. They've worked too hard for you to ruin them like you ruin everyone else."
The CEO stared at you for a moment, looking a little angry. You raised an eyebrow at him.
"What? Don't like the truth?"
"Get out."
You laughed and got to your feet, walking out of the office with confidence. As you were leaving the office you saw Jeonghan, Seungkwan, and Jihoon in the hallway. Seungkwan and Jeonghan didn't notice you. They were facing away from you, but Jihoon caught your gaze. You smiled at him but didn't say anything to him past that.
You could feel his gaze as you left the building still on you.
You were called only an hour later to be told that you had gotten the job.
"Siheo."
Siheo turned to face you and a realized expression crossed her face.
"Thank god you're here I-"
"Why are you lying about Jihoon?"
Siheo's happy expression dropped.
"What?"
"Don't lie about it anymore Siheo, I know you better than anyone, do you think I thought for even a second that Jihoon stalked you and then cheated on you? Jihoon is a virgin. At least go with something believable."
Siheo pressed her lips together.
"You don't know what you're talking about," she insisted. You scoffed.
"Look, I understand if you don't want to be with Jihoon any more. Whatever. But don't ruin his career as an idol. That's just shitty."
"I'm not lyi-"
"If you say one more time that you aren't lying I won't ever talk to you again. You know how close Jihoon and I are. I swear if you don't fix this for him I will stop talking to you."
Siheo fell silent. Her head lolled forward, her face hidden from beneath her hair.
"That's the opposite of what I wanted," she murmured. You tilted your head.
"Yeah? Well, that's what you are getting if you don't fix this. I set up an interview with you and Jihoon. I don't care how you fix it but tell the truth. Don't let Jihoon get stepped all over for things he never did."
You handed her a piece of paper that told her all she needed to know about the interview and sighed.
"Just be there. Fix this."
You started to walk away, ready to go home and just... Breath for a second.
"Don't you want to know why I did it?!" Siheo suddenly blurted. You stopped in your tracks and turned to look at her. To your surprise, she was crying. Normally you didn't like to humor her attentive attitude. Not when you were actually mad at her, but she never fake cried for attention. That only meant... She was actually upset. You stared at her blankly but didn't say anything to encourage her to talk.
"I did it because of you," she admitted anyways. "Cause all you ever do is talk about stupid Jihoon. What has he ever done for you before? You sit there and you get a second job after I started working at that dumb restaurant just to be close to you. You start spending more time there, and then you go and fall in love with him."
Your eyes widened slightly and you opened your mouth to say you weren't in love with Jihoon but she interrupted you before you could.
"Oh no, don't lie. You do too much of that already. Any idiot with eyes knows that you love Jihoon, why do you think all of Seventeen hates me? It's not because I took Jihoon away from them it's because I took Jihoon away from you."
She let that sink in a moment before continuing.
"I was afraid that if I let you keep getting closer to Jihoon then... Well... You'd leave me. You were already doing it, it was only a matter of time. I knew that if I dated Jihoon then I'd have an excuse to be around you more."
She used her sleeve to wipe tears from her eyes.
"And then you just started spending more time everywhere else!"
"Because you stole the guy I liked!" You blurted. "What was I supposed to do? Continue to hang out with you two all the time like nothing was wrong?"
Siheo ignored you.
"I knew I had to break up with Jihoon. I mean it's obvious as hell that he likes you, he never liked me to begin with, wouldn't even hold my hand-"
"Wait-"
"So I had to make up some story so that you wouldn't like him anymore either. I didn't know it would end up like this but I had to get rid of him so I could be with you!"
Siheo looked more desperate then you had ever seen her before
"I refuse to lose you to some... Some short idol who wouldn't even give you the time of day when you first met!" She blurted out.
There was a lot for you to absorb.
You had always liked having a clear distinction between the different parts of your life. You kept Pledis out of work, work out of Pledis, and you tried to keep your friendships outside of those places in their own respective boxes too.
Siheo was always breaking those walls down. You should have expected it.
She brought the wall between personal friendships and work down before you could even have a say in it. Then she broke down the distinction between personal friendships and Pledis. She had even forced Jihoon to break the wall between Pledis and work.
Jihoon had always been respectful of your boundaries. Probably because he knew what it was like when your boundaries were broken. He was there when Siheo first got hired at your job. He saw what it did.
You smiled at Hoshi, trying your best to keep your cool.
You guys had been discussing dance arrangements for the past few hours and after finally finalizing it and preapproving the choreography you were done.
You had been too social today. Working while Siheo came up behind you at every turn, complaining about some coworker that you for one happened to like only to come here and discuss interviews with Seungcheol, song arrangements with Woozi, and more.
You tried not to let it show exactly how much that pressed you. You felt like you were trapped in a box and couldn't get out. All you wanted to do was get away from everyone. If you had to smile at one more-
"Hey y/n! I didn't know you were here today!"
You turned forcing a smile onto your lips.
"Minghao! How's everything going? Not working yourself too hard are you?" You asked politely.
"I never could under your watch."
You laughed and where you would normally stop and chat with the boy, you continued past him down the hall.
"I'll see you tomorrow Minghao."
You waved briefly back over your shoulder and turned a corner.
You had found that this one studio was hardly ever touched by anyone in Pledis. You theorized that was where Orange Caramel used to work there before Pledis ruined that.
You usually just used it when the boys didn't need you and you had some free time. Today you found that it was also a good place to cry.
You sat criss-cross applesauce on the floor and let every frustration you were feeling out, and when you were almost done you looked up and found Jihoon standing there staring at you.
"Fuck," you murmured. "I uh, got something stuck in my eye."
"Minghao said that something was up with you, Hoshi agreed that you'd been really uptight. I noticed it too. Nothing too obvious, you hide your feelings well you know, but not well enough," he stated. "What's wrong?"
"The thing in my eye," you responded with a pathetic laugh. You wiped the tears off your face with the sleeve of your jacket. "It's still in there."
"You checked your watch every ten minutes today while we were working," Jihoon responded. "Every now and then your smile would just drop and your expression would go blank. It never lasted more than a millisecond but-"
"Please Jihoon, I just-"
"It's okay not to be perfect," Jihoon responded. He sat down on the floor, crossing his legs as well. "What's wrong?"
You stared at him weakly for a few minutes and then buried your face into your hands and told him everything.
It was nice to have someone to listen to for once.
Too much back to back social interactions with no chance to breath meant you having a breakdown. It was inevitable. It didn't happen often but sometimes it did.
And when you felt a breakdown coming on you went to Jihoon because he was one of the only ones that you didn't mind knowing that you were secretly really really weak 90% of the time.
"Siheo, I can't talk to you right now," You said softly. "Our friendship isn't over but you did date the guy I like on purpose in order to get him out of my life. That's shitty."
"Wait-"
You waved over your shoulder.
"I'll see you at work on Sunday Siheo."
And then you waited.
You came into Pledis to argue with the CEO about letting Seventeen promote. You won that argument and spent the rest of the week helping the boys promote. You admittedly kept a little bit of a distance from Jihoon.
He let you.
You waited until things about Siheo and him blew over, and thanks to your tireless work, they eventually did. Carats still trusted Jihoon, the damning videos got dropped, you felt the ability to breathe once again.
Even Siheo gave you some space.
It was a bit overwhelming. How many years had passed with constant pressure in your relationships only for it to stop?
You utilized the time you had the best you could. Tried to enjoy all of the space you were given, and that's of course when out of nowhere in the middle of the night you were interrupted by a few abrupt knocks at the door.
You opened it with no doubt in your mind that it was going to be Jihoon.
You were right.
He looked good.
You hadn't realized until now just how much you missed him.
"Jihoon-"
"I can't wait any longer. I miss you," he interrupted. He brushed past you letting himself into your apartment. "Look, I didn't realize it until too late but I'm in love with you."
You paused in the middle of your effort to close the door.
Your heart thumped in your chest, and you froze. Jihoon came up behind you and pressed your front door closed.
"I'm in love with you," he repeated. You looked at him over your shoulder, unable to say anything solid. You had one question really. "Then why did I date Siheo, right? If I'm in love with you why did I date Siheo?"
Jihoon turned away from you and began to walk around your apartment. He was so comfortable here, how many times has he been over? You were starting to think too much.
"I was stupid. There was something about us that was comfortable. I fell in love with you and I didn't even realize it. Sometimes it just feels like we've always been together. When I realized just how I felt different around you then the others Istupid chalked it up to a crush on Siheo. When I first met her you spent so much time with her I felt so weird... I thought it was because of her. Looking back I was just a little jealous."
Despite everything, you laughed a little.
"We've practically been dating for what five years-"
"At least," he agreed with a smile.
"And you were jealous," you teased lightly. He scoffed.
"Oh, and you aren't jealous every time Ailee comes around-"
"I'm just saying don't say you have no female friends and then act so cozy whenever Ailee is around. She's clearly a friend, someone needs to change your member profile."
You both dissolved into a peal of soft laughter. After all, this time and the whole dating Siheo thing you had assumed your first time alone in a room with Jihoon would be awkward. But it wasn't.
"We're idiots aren't we?" You asked softly. Jihoon walked over to you and took your hand in his.
"You're not. You knew, the whole time you knew. You trusted me, you helped me, and you knew. I'm the idiot. I hurt you," Jihoon insisted. You smiled at him.
"I should have never let you date Siheo, I should've said something I-"
You interrupted yourself, unable to hold back anymore. Jihoon was so close to you, and he looked so genuine and happy and it was so fucking sappy but you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his.
Jihoon's initial reaction was to pull back slightly, and you worried you had done something wrong, but after only a millisecond he had pressed forward, deepening the kiss. When he pulled away you both smiled at each other like idiots.
"So should we plan the wedding now or?"
You laughed and playfully knocked him in his shoulder.
"Lee Jihoon you really are just another man," you joked. Jihoon smiled.
"And you still fell for me."
You smiled back.
"That I did."
