Set right at the end of Season 3 episode Lucky Stiff – the side story being that Castle is trying to guess what Beckett would do with Lotto winnings. He has just told her that he spoke to the Dean of her mother's university and wants to organise a benefit to raise money in Kate's mothers memory. The first line is from the show and goes from there. My first Castle story, all mistakes are mine, and I don't own anything. Constructive comments welcome but try and avoid flaming me, thanks.

You just can't stay out of my personal life can you?

Castle stared at her, his bubble completely burst. "But I….."

"No Castle, what is with you, you spend days trying to guess something that is never going to happen and then instead of simply asking if that's what I would do you go and speak to the Dean behind my back."

"Kate…." He began again.

"Leave Castle, just leave." She turned her back and moved towards the kitchen table not looking at what Castle was doing.

Castle, on the other hand, was completely speechless, which was not a normal occurrence. He wanted to go to her, to apologise, to comfort her because he knew from the way that her shoulders were moving that she was crying. He sighed, and made for the door. Just as he was reaching it he heard her speaking softly.

"Don't you get it, this was something I wanted to do, something I have dreamed of, not something I wanted you to do. Goodbye Castle. Please don't come to the precinct tomorrow."

"Wait Kate…..what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I can't do this anymore. I know you have my back and want to do your research but my personal life is just that….personal."

"So you want me to stop shadowing you?" he asked, very concerned at the way this conversation was heading.

Kate slumped down on the chair at her kitchen table, did she want him to stop shadowing her? She sighed, in part she had got used to him always being there but being separated over the summer had given her some focus. She had realised that Castle was not the man she thought he was and, although he had split from Gina again, she couldn't allow herself to fall for his tricks again.

"Yeah Castle, that's what I'm saying." She spoke quietly resigned to the situation.

Castle moved towards her quickly "No Kate, I need to be there."

"No Castle you don't, Espisito was right, you have done more than enough research for your series, you're a civilian, you don't need to be there."

"But I want…"

Kate stood up and cut him off "You know Castle, maybe it's time you learned that money can't buy you everything. You know why I didn't think about what I would do with the money? Because I don't have it." She was shouting at him now.

"Maybe you want to be at the precinct or want to shadow me but enough is enough, your money cannot buy your way into my life."

"That's not what I was doing and you know it!" he shouted back.

"Do I" she spat at him. "You use everything about me, private things, you even used my mother's death to sell books, to make you money. Well I want it to stop, you are no longer welcome as my shadow and if the mayor doesn't like it, then tough."

"Kate, what's got into you, is this all because I called the Dean and want to set up the scholarship?"

"I wanted that Castle, this was my dream, I didn't need you to arrange it or fund it, she was my mother not yours. Now get the hell out of my house." Kate was spitting fire and quite frankly had enough of this. She had made her decision now he could just leave her alone.

Castle deflated again, he shook his head and walked towards the door. "This is not over Kate" he said as he opened the door.

"Yes it is" she whispered back. It was for the best.

****************************************C&B**************************************

The next morning Kate dragged her way into the 12th and sat heavily at her desk. She had barely slept a wink during the night, her mind arguing over and over with her decision to stop Castle from shadowing her and now she was completely confused.

She looked at her desk and at Castle's chair to the side of it. She was eternally grateful that he wasn't sitting on it and she took a deep breath, stood up and deliberately moved the chair to the long forgotten desk it had been taken from. As she straightened she caught the Captain's eye as he motioned for her to come into his office.

She pulled her shoulders back and moved to the door.

"Detective Beckett have a seat" Montgomery said pointing to the empty chair across from him.

"So, is there a reason why you are moving Castle's chair away from your desk?"

Well now was as good a time as any. "Yes Sir, I respectfully ask that Castle no longer be allowed to shadow me."

"Any particular reason? I had thought your team was working well since he returned in the fall."

Oh how to explain this, Kate thought, without sounding like a whiner. "Captain, Castle is a civilian and recently he has been in several dangerous situations. He is in the middle of his third book and as Espisito pointed out he no longer needs to do research." Kate took a breath and tried to explain herself succinctly. "What I mean is, he is not trained for this job and having completed his research there is no reason for him to still be here."

"Kate, what's going on, I know you complained at the start but I genuinely thought you liked having Castle around."

"Not anymore, he gets in the way Sir and I really would prefer to have him off my case."

"Well I will have to speak to the commissioner and the mayor but if you feel he is jeopardising the unit then…."

"Thank you Sir, I appreciate it." She rose to leave. But was stopped short by her Captain speaking.

"Kate, don't throw Castle away completely, he is good for you."

Kate ducked her head down and pushed her hair behind her ear. "Thanks for the advice, but its better this way."

As she walked from Montgomery's office she was quickly accosted by Ryan and Esposito. Unsurprisingly it was Esposito who spoke first.

"Why does Castle think he can't come in?"

Kate brushed past them "Because I told him he can't."

Ryan and Esposito spun on their heels to face her retreating back. "Ok but I think his question was why." Ryan said.

"You were right Esposito, he has done enough research, he doesn't need to be here."

"But it was kinda cool to have him here." Ryan whined.

"Yes well if we are all done with the bromance, maybe we can get some actual work done without him screwing things up." Kate answered scathingly.

"Beckett, what did he do?" Esposito asked quietly having never heard her talk like that about Castle since the very beginning.

"Nothing" she answered quickly, "It's just time." She sat down at her desk almost willing the phone to ring with a case. Then she looked up at her team, "How did you guys know anything about this?"

They both squirmed when faced with their leader's stare.

"He called" Ryan eventually said,

"About 10 times since the shift started." Esposito finished.

Just then the phone on Ryan's desk began to ring, and Kate hung her head, that was bound to be him again. Ryan moved to answer the call.

"Ryan…..oh hi Castle"

"Yeah she's here now."

"Yeah she told us you're not coming back, sorry man."

Ryan covered the mouth piece, "he wants to know if you will meet him?"

Kate sighed and was about to say 'absolutely no way' when Montgomery answered for her from the door of his office. "Tell him she'll meet him here in 30 minutes, but after that if Detective Beckett still says no then he leaves and doesn't contact her again."

Ryan relayed the message while Kate tried to glare out her boss with no success.

"He'll be here in 10 minutes" Ryan said putting the handset back in its cradle. "Sounded pretty desperate to see you."

Kate couldn't believe it, she had just convinced herself that she didn't want to see Castle ever again and all her colleagues were conspiring against her. Well they could force her to see him but not to keep him in her life after today. Inside she knew she was over reacting to Castle's offer last night, in a way it had been sweet that he had offered to raise money but it was the way he did it, just barging into her private life, walking all over the walls she had which protected her. Then there were the feelings, the ones she didn't want, the ones he clearly didn't reciprocate and those which, if she let them, could completely consume her. No, now was the time for her to get rid of him before he broke her.

Less than ten minutes later Castle bustled into the squad room. He looked about as bad as Kate felt and for a second Kate was tempted to change her mind. But she turned her eyes from him and walked towards the break room. Castle smiled weakly at Ryan and Esposito and followed Kate into the room.

Kate stood by the window with her arms crossed, Castle began to feel like he was being interrogated again.

"Well!" she started. Castle was unsure what to say or what she even wanted him to say.

"You wanted to see me Castle, what do you want?"

"Kate, can we at least sit down?" Castle sat on one of the seats and waited for her to join him. When she did and didn't say anything Castle got ready to speak and realised that if he didn't get this right he would lose her forever, that was simply unacceptable.

"When I went home last night I told mother and Alexis what I had done and they put me in my place. Alexis demanded to know if I had lost what little sense I had and mother was disappointed that I had presumed to call the Dean before talking to you. They both said I should come straight down here and apologise so….here I am and …..I'm sorry."

He let all of that sink in. Kate still didn't make eye contact with him.

"Mother also decided that it was a good decision to not shadow you anymore."

At this Kate's head did shoot up, and her eyes bore into his trying to understand what he was saying.

"She…..um…..she saw the way I looked at you when we were going out undercover this week, she thinks it would be best if I'm not in the field with you."

"How were….." Kate started, floored by the admission Castle had made. She cleared her throat and started again. "How were you looking at me?"

"In mother's words?" she nodded mutely in reply "Like someone who I would want to have by my side for the rest of my life and not as a partner at work." Castle turned away from her embarrassed at what he was saying to her, especially as she wasn't a free agent and didn't need his mother shoving them together.

"Look, I'm gonna go." Castle stood up, "Thank you Detective for allowing me to work with you and your team, it has been a real pleasure. I'm sorry for interfering in your life but if you decide you want it, I would be happy to arrange the benefit we talked about last night."

"Castle…..did your mother say how I looked at you" Kate asked before Castle reached the door.

"Like you were happy I was around….. funny how things change." He mumbled the last part.

"She was right." Kate said quietly.

Castle turned back to face her, "Then why do you want me to leave?"

"I told you Castle, I can't cope with you tramping all over my life and just assuming it will be ok."

"I don't mean to trample." He said quietly walking towards her.

"I know, it's just you and the way you are but sometimes, lots of times, it can hurt."

"I'm sorry, I don't think things through, I just act, mother says it's been a failing all my life."

"Was Martha right about how you look at me, is that what you think when you see me?"

Castle was now standing in front of her and took Kate's hand to encourage her to stand. "She always knows how I feel, usually before I do. In this case however I knew before her, I knew from last year."

"Then why did you go away with Gina?" Kate asked the question that had been burning in her mind for over 6 months.

"Because you had someone else, you still do."

"No….I don't."

"What! What about Dr Motor-cycle-boy?" Castle asked quietly once he had calmed down from the shock.

"We split up, after I heard you break it off with Gina." She responded.

"Kate, do you think maybe if I stop shadowing you we could see each other at other times?"

Kate looked up at him trying to see if he was earnest, her heart hoping that she could trust him, hoping that the feelings that she had were reciprocated. He smiled tenderly at her willing her to believe in him.

"Maybe" she replied, "Maybe I could come over sometime, but for now we have an audience and you know how private I am." She nodded to the others in the squad room watching developments. Montgomery, Ryan and Esposito had been joined by Lanie and several other members of the 12th.

"Very well Detective" Castle took her hand and kissed it as if he were a character in a Shakespeare play. "Until another time." He leaned towards her and his breath caressed her ear. "Just so you know, I love you Kate and I am going to wait as long as you need, but you're not getting rid of me anytime soon."

Castle quickly moved away leaving a blushing detective. He went out the door nodded to the Captain, gave Ryan and Esposito a high five and winked at Lanie.

He may not be shadowing his muse anymore but something better was about to begin.

Author's Note. My first Castle fic, hope you all enjoy, it will be nice to join another community on the site. Also looking for a Castle Beta, if anyone is interested please PM me. Totally love this show but don't know everything about it. Would just add that I wrote this straight after the episode aired in the UK, so I know Josh is in later episodes, please just call this an AU. Thanks.