Chapter One

I stood in front of the door to the gym, drumming my fingers on my bag. I could hear the screams and cheers coming from the gym, the sound of feet hitting the floor and pom-poms rustling. I closed my eyes and could suddenly hear music pumping, the sound of people grinding their bodies together. The sound of his breath in my ear.

"You know you're supposed to open doors, right?" I heard a voice call. "Even the great Manny Santos can't open a door with her mind. Sorry, I guess you're out of luck."

I turned around to see a new girl at Degrassi, Holly P or something. "You're late." I called out in a shaky voice.

She smirked out me. "Earlier then you." She said, and then breezed past, opening the door to the gym.

I took a deep breath and followed her into the gym. I saw the members of the Spirit Squad spread out around the gym, stretching and practicing the routine. Darcy was making rounds, stopping every so often to correct someone. When she saw me, she broke into a huge grin.

"Manny!" She cried, running over to me. "Oh my gosh, the weekend was SO fun! You were so right about going up there Manny, Peter and I had a blast."

"That's great." I said weekly.

"We didn't see you on the last bus though. Peter thought you were hanging out with that guy, the one we met on the slopes."

"The slopes?" I asked dumbly.

"Yeah, that guy you were dancing with. Sam maybe? The one with the curly hair."

I saw his face in my mind now, his startling green eyes, his curly dark hair. I wanted to throw up. "Yeah." I said. "Sam."

Darcy beamed. "What, were you guys dancing all night? I'm SO glad you found someone Manny. I felt so bad about ditching you for Peter. So what WERE you guys doing?"

I was silent, and stared at the floor. Dancing all night. It sounded romantic, something out of a movie. She imagined herself, in a pretty pink dress, being swept away by her knight in shining armor. But when she saw his eyes, they were startling green, a single dark curl hanging on his forehead. She grimaced and pushed the image from her mind.

Darcy saw her expression. "Wait." She said. "You guys didn't…" She broke off, staring at me. "Oh my god. You did! Manny! You hardly even knew him!"

I shrugged. "I was drunk." I said.

Darcy's eyes widened. "Was it… you know. Consensual?"

I wanted to tell her. I truly did. But I just bit my tongue and forced out a smile. "Of course." I said forcefully, trying to convince myself as much, if not more than her. "Of course."

*******

I sat in the media center, pretending to listen to Mr. Simpson, and pretending not to hear Emma hissing my name from the seat next to me. She started tapping me on the shoulder, and her hisses turned into loud whispers. Finally, I turned to look at her.

"Where were you this morning?" She demanded. "You weren't answering your phone."

I looked at her confused. "Why?" I asked.

"You were supposed to come over early this morning, and help me make breakfast for my mom?"

"You're mom?"

"Yeah, because she's sick with the flu. Remember? I told you about it on Friday, and you told me you would come help out."

I remembered Emma telling me that during chem., and felt awful. "Sorry, I had spirit squad practice early this morning, and I totally spaced on calling you."

Emma nodded distractedly, before turning to face the front. She bit her lip, and then turned back around. "I called your house, Manny. When you didn't answer your phone this morning."

I turned to stare at her, my stomach dropping. "You called my house?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah. Your mom said she didn't know where you were, and started asking me about my weekend, what we did together. I thought she was confused, so I said 'Ms. Santos, Manny wasn't over this weekend.' And she said…"

My mouth dropped open. "You said WHAT?!"

At that moment, Mr. Simpson turned around and glared at me. "Manny." He said. "Shh."

Emma waited till her turned back to the board, and then looked at me. "I didn't realize that I was your cover story Manny. You never told me."

"Oh my god." I said. "My parents are going to kill me."

Emma ignored me. "What were you doing this weekend?"

In my mind's eye, I saw a crowded room, with bodies pressing against bodies. I felt hands around my waist, someone's mouth tickling my ear.

I shook my head and wiped the image away. "Nothing. Just, uh, I went snowboarding. With Darcy."

Emma noticed my expression and raised her eyebrows. "Did something, like, happen? While you were there? Are you okay?

I stared at Emma. Again, I felt the urge to talk, to explain. But I bit my tongue and shook my head. "I'm fine Emma." I said, with such verve that I almost believed it.

"Are you sure? Because if you like, wanted to talk, you know I'm…"

"I said, I'm FINE! God, nosy much? Just mind your own business for once, please."

Emma looked at me for a minute. "Okay." She said finally. "Sorry."