Bloodshot
written by Tenchi Kai.
Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist nor have I encountered anyone who does.

How many times had he been found in that same library, eyes bloodshot from the hundreds of pages that found themselves imprinted into the back of his heavy eyelids - and flustered mind? How many hours, how many pages, how many, how many? It was all in this meek hope that his brother, Alphonse, could possibly be turned back to normal. Call Edward crazy for even thinking about that impossibility, right? No, he was sure to be completely out of his mind.

Today was different.

First, he wasn't at the library today; it was burned down by Scar (not to mention the rather annoying bodyguards). Second, he was reading a book like always, but this one pretended to be a book of recipes. Now that the blond alchemist thought about it, it reminded him of the whole entire military; it appeared innocent as a blue-eyed baby, but it was corrupted at the core.

The first time Edward received that godforsaken result after hours and hours of decoding the profound, hidden messages within the mock cookbook, he had laughed it off. The second time, he nearly stopped breathing...and went at it once more - laughing in disbelief. It was not until the identical outcome came again – after hours and hours of rewriting, rethinking, and the eventual giving up - did Edward realize he was, in fact, correct. Oh, God, how could he go through with the devil's errand now? Just a day (had it really only taken that long for a world to turn upside down?) or so ago, he had the notion the term was some kind of joke…but no longer.

The teen stood up, let out a curse as loud as his voice would let after so long of being silent, and buried his face into his hands while the tears poured out without restraint. Years! Years he had spent trying to find the Philosopher's stone – trying to find out how to create it. It all came down to the truth behind truths: death. So many people it would take, so many innocents who had done nothing to deserve their doom. Countless dreams lost for the sake of Edward's dreams to become a reality - it was out of the question. Never would the petite blond even consider.

Today was different.

Today, his eyes weren't bloodshot from the many letters he imprinted into his mind, but the tears that came with a shattered dream.

How many times must Edward crack before he will completely break?

--

Author's note: thanks to Danko Kaji for being my beta reader. The image of poor Edward after this whole thing happened stuck in my mind, and I just couldn't let it go. It's all so a small tribute to the song from Jack's Mannequin of the same name.