The NCIS team, with a few family members in tow, has descended upon Ducky's abode for Christmas dinner, complete with a flaming plum pudding.
This is a sequel to "Proof of the Pudding," which had Abby and Ducky making a test-run plum pudding in Abby's lab. This takes place during that same Christmas season, with the larger pudding (and the sixpence) being served at dinner.
xNCISx
The kitchen was filled with the aromas of roasting goose with sage and onion. And beneath that, the brandy and sweet spices of a pudding.
Ducky switched on the oven light, peered in through the door and nodded approvingly.
"Need any help in here, Duckman?" Abby trotted into the kitchen. She was wearing her best garish red "ugly Christmas sweater," a green plaid skirt and a pair of reindeer antlers.
"No, Abby, everything is shipshape in Bristol fashion," Ducky said.
Abby nodded and headed off, humming a few bars of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas."
It was Christmas Day, and Ducky was hosting the entire Major Case Response Team at his house for dinner that evening. It would be a multi-course meal with all the necessary accoutrements: the goose, baked apples, parsnips, and oven-roasted Brussels sprouts with maple syrup.
At the end of it would be a plum pudding, complete with the Mallard silver sixpence inside.
Ducky hung up his apron – the one that said Mid-Atlantic Medical Examiners' Conference on it – poured himself a glass of sherry and went out into the corridor just as Sarah McGee was coming out of the library. She wore jeans, combat boots and a Star Wars-themed holiday sweatshirt: an X-Wing fighter being pulled by a team of reindeer.
"Hey, Ducky, have you got anything by – oooh! Sherry!" she exclaimed. "Can I have some too? Please?"
Ducky tilted his eyebrow. "Well, I don't know…"
"Come on, I'm twenty-one now!" Sarah begged. She pulled out her driver's license and pointed to the date. "See?"
"Of course I know, my dear. Right this way, please." Ducky led Sarah back into the kitchen and poured her a sherry. "Where is your brother at the moment, by the way?"
"In the living room duking it out with Tony." Sarah tilted her head in the direction of that room, where Tony and McGee were arguing loudly about what music to put on.
"No way, McProbie! I'm not listening to your Trans-Siberian Steamroller or whatever it is for the hundredth time!"
"The hundredth time? Who's had his Bob Rivers playlist going on repeat all December?" McGee demanded.
"McGee, Tony, I would prefer not to have to conduct an autopsy on the dining room table," Ducky said. "Although that reminds me of a time when…"
He was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. It was Ziva, resplendent in a bright red coat with fake fur trim, and a matching hat.
"Good evening, Ziva, and may I take your coat?" Ducky asked as he held the door open.
"Hold the door, I'm coming…"
"Mr. Palmer, don't run, there's an icy spot on the – look out!" Ducky shouted.
"Whooaaa!" But it was too late – Palmer had already gone sprawling on the sidewalk.
"Oh, Mr. Palmer…" Ducky put on his coat and headed outside, followed closely by Sarah and McGee. A few minutes later, the three of them had managed to bring Palmer inside and settle him on the sofa.
"I'm fine – it's just strained," Palmer said, rubbing his ankle.
"And I suppose this will be a reminder to watch your footing during the winter," Ducky said.
"The Russian judge gave you a nine out of ten, but the French judge took off a few points for style," Sarah said. "Hey, Ziva, by the way, thanks for the nunchuks – I love them!"
"Ziva, what were you thinking, giving my sister a set of nunchuks?" McGee asked.
"McGee." Ziva put her hands on her hips. "I believe that nunchuks are a very valuable tool for a young woman to have on hand. Besides, Abby already gave her the throwing stars."
McGee looked askance at Abby, who only looked up at the ceiling and started to whistle.
The doorbell rang again moments later. This time it was Gibbs, with a bottle of whiskey in a ribbon-tied box.
"Ah, Jethro. Just in time."
"Wouldn't miss your Christmas party for the world, Duck," Gibbs said. "Especially after all the arm twisting over Thanksgiving."
About half an hour later, the goose was out of the oven and had completed its resting period. So the entire party settled down to enjoy a sumptuous Yuletide feast.
"I am truly grateful that we are gathered around the board on this festive evening, and not out working a case," Ducky said.
"Don't!" Tony yelled. "You'll jinx it!"
"Imagine the possibilities, though," Palmer said. "Blunt force trauma from a Yule log."
"Eggnog poisoning," McGee chimed in. "Almost happened to us one year, I kid you not."
"Smoke inhalation from that open fire that the chestnuts were roasting over," Ziva said.
Ducky cleared his throat and assumed his best "presiding medical examiner" demeanor. "I have a seventy-six-year-old female in fair health, discovered prone in a snowbank at 0715 hours on the twenty-fifth of December," he said, as if dictating an autopsy report. "A cursory examination revealed marks on her forehead and upper torso, and the amount of lividity indicates that they were inflicted perimortem. Further examination indicates that they are consistent with the hooves of a fully-grown specimen of Rangifer tarandus…"
"Grandma got run over by a reindeer!" Abby crowed. The entire table erupted in laughter.
And the rest of the dinner continued in this vein, with everyone taking seconds and thirds of everything.
"Save room for dessert," Abby said mock-sternly. "Ducky and I put in a lot of work on the giant flaming edible cannonball that's now steaming away in the kitchen."
"Aren't we expecting a few more people?" Ziva asked.
"Yes, Vance and Jackie and the kids are coming by after they've had their dinner. Jackie's bringing a mince pie."
And just as the dinner plates were being cleared away, there was another ring at the doorbell.
"Gibbs, Tony, pull around a few extra chairs. McGee, Sarah, get the dessert plates out," Ducky said over his shoulder as he headed for the door and pulled it open. "Good evening, Director Vance. Jackie, it's lovely to see you again, and oh, Kayla and Jared, too," Ducky said, holding the door open wide.
"The pleasure is all ours, Dr. Mallard, thanks for allowing us over," Vance said. "I know you said that there's a plum pudding, but Jackie brought a mince pie as well."
"My super-secret recipe, so secret not even the CIA could crack it," Jackie remarked as she handed the pie to Ducky.
"We made peppermint bark, too!" Kayla proudly held out a shiny red and green tin.
"Uh-oh, it's the man upstairs – don't say anything incriminating!" Tony said dramatically as the Vances walked into the dining room.
"At ease, Agent DiNozzo, this is purely a social call," Vance said.
Four more chairs were pulled around and the table was set for dessert.
Ducky went to the kitchen, removed the steamed-through pudding from its pot, and checked on the brandy that he had just started heating in a saucepan. "Abby, if you could bring the custard sauce out," he said over his shoulder as he pulled a chef's torch out of a drawer.
"Should we light the pudding in here or do it at the table?" Abby asked as she picked up the custard.
"Let's do it at the table."
All eyes were on Ducky as he carried the pudding into the dining room and set it down on the table with great ceremony. Abby dimmed the lights, picked up the chef's torch and touched it to the brandy, and it burst forth in a corona of bright blue flames.
Ducky poured the brandy over the pudding, and everyone watched in awe as the pudding was engulfed in the blue flames.
"Wow!"
"Cool!"
"Hang on, let me get a photo of that!" Palmer whipped out his cell phone, and half the table followed suit.
"My roommate and I tried that once, with a piece of apple pie from the dining hall," Sarah said.
"Is that the reason the fire department had to be called to campus?" McGee asked.
"No! That was something totally different, I swear!"
Slowly, the flames burned out, leaving the pudding in all its caramelized glory.
Gibbs lifted his glass. "Nicely done, Duck. I've never seen anyone burn a dessert and still have it turn out edible."
Ducky picked up the silver serving knife. "Now, I urge you to bite into your slices with caution, for someone's slice will have the traditional silver sixpence in it. Whoever gets it will get to have a wish granted."
"Let's go, date with that hot female detective from Metro homicide," Tony said aloud.
The pudding was plated, along with slices of Jackie's mince pie and bits of Kayla's peppermint bark.
Everyone checked their slices…
"I got it!" Kayla exclaimed, holding the sixpence over her head.
"Aw, no fair," Jared pouted.
"Please tell me you weren't wishing for a pony," Vance said.
"Nooo, actually I was hoping we could go on that camping trip you and Mom were always talking about us doing," Kayla said. She paused. "But a pony would still be nice," she added as everyone laughed.
Ducky lifted his glass of after-dinner brandy. "I propose a toast," he said, standing. "To an eventful and productive year that is now passing away, to a prosperous new year ahead, and a festive season for us all."
"And no weird cases until after January second," Ziva finished.
"Hear, hear!" everyone said.
xNCISx
Reviews welcome! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Glad Yule, Happy Festivus, etc.!
