Summary: In his older years, Mustang wears glasses. Edward takes it as a beautiful opportunity to annoy the living daylights out of him.
***SET POST-SERIES***
"Yo, Mustang! Your eyesight going out or something?"
Mustang raised his head from where he was bent over a large stack of paperwork, glaring darkly into Edward's eyes. He raised one hand, straightened the pair of rectangular glasses sitting on his nose, then sighed.
"A bit," Roy said heavily.
"Can't say I'm surprised," Ed grinned, stalking over to the desk, "old man."
Roy glared again. "I'm not even fifty yet," he said darkly, and then, deciding it wasn't worth his time to argue, went back to his papers. "What are you doing here anyway, Edward? You were discharged from the military years ago."
"Yeah, so what?" said Edward, crossing his arms. "You tellin' me I'm not welcomed? I spent so many unforgiving moments in this stuffy, smelly office of yours that it's practically mine. I just decided to revisit the old stomping grounds."
"Ah, I see," Roy said lowly, turning back a page. "So you're here to laugh at me?"
"More or less," said Edward smugly. "Little birdy told me you got glasses, so I had to see for myself."
He held out his hand expectantly, and Roy regarded him quizzically. "What?" Roy asked sharply.
"C'mon, let me see 'em," Edward quipped, thrusting out his hand a second time, as if making sure Roy saw it. "I promise I won't break them or run off with them, okay?"
Roy groaned. "You're not going to leave until I do, right?"
Ed grinned. "You got it," he said. "So hand them over."
Roy finally relented and pulled his glasses off, handing them reluctantly to Edward. Edward instantly held them at arm's length, looked through them, squinting, and then, he slipped them onto his face.
Instantly, his eyes widened, and he took a step backwards with a low chuckle. "Wow, Mustang," Edward said, reaching up and touching the rim of the glasses. "You. Are. Blind."
"Okay, you've had your fun," Roy said, rising to his feet and holding out his hand. "Give them back."
"You know something?" Edward said, tapping his chin in mock thought, making no move to remove the glasses. "Due to my brilliant deductive capabilities, I have decided…" Even though ninety percent of what Roy saw was an incoherent blur, he knew Edward was grinning. "...That you can't catch me!"
"Edward!" Roy shouted furiously, and he made a move to grab Edward, but at the last second, Edward dove out of the way. "Cut it out!"
"Roy Mustang in glasses!" Edward grinned, laughter lacing his voice. "That's quite the spectacle, you know?" He paused suddenly, and then, he snapped his fingers. "No, wait! That's brilliant! Get it, Mustang? Spectacle? Hahahahahahaha!"
"When I find you, Edward, you're dead."
"Guess I'll just have to make sure you never find me."
"Oooh, I'll find you alright. And when I do, no one will find your body."
"Not very threatening coming from a guy who can't see where he's going."
"I can see fine, Edwa - oof! What did I just bang into!?"
"That was the trashcan, Mustang."
"Oh, you are definitely dead."
