Quest For The Chibi Physic
By Dee "ChakichakiGirl" Eon
A "Pocket Travellers" Spin-Off Parody
WARNING: Might be a bit "techie" in spots for some to establish 'techo-plausible' backdrop for this fantasy! Highly advisable that you Google-grab a peek of "Pocket Travellers 1 and 2" on the web first! It's a real fun look and read by itself! This can wait! :)
Foreword: This is a take-off spin-off of Lucky Star "Pocket Travellers" as a "sequel" of Chapter Two (since Three isn't to be had on-line) and a concept with ideas all totally original out of my head, so if you saw similar somewhere else, it's totally coincidental! If you'd like to manga this like PT's cute original art you got it! :) PLEASE leave reviews – and even ideas of which way you'd like to it go! Read it for fun, not as an exam! I dedicate this story to Xeperu, Lutris and Heihouka for my chance to enjoy "Pocket Travellers"!
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Chapter One
(follows Chapter 2 of "Pocket Travellers")
BAAAMM!!!!!
"EEKKKKK!!!!!"
The sharp clap of thunder was followed up by shrieks from both Yutaka outside and from Tsukasa deep inside whose handbag which rocked crazily with Yutaka's startled jump, tossing the chibi-like quad and the tiny keychain light with them inside around like mice rattling around in a shaken garbage can.
"Hey up there!!" cried Konata up at the closed bag flap. "We ain't milkshakes!"
Turning lime-green, Tsukasa clamped her mouth; "On – Onee-chan! I'm – I'm getting seasick!"
Konata groaned. "Just great! Rolling in puke in a spin cycle!"
"Like you're totally collected in a car yourself, Mario Andretti!" snapped Kagami just as the quake stilled. "Yutaka! What happened? Yutaka!!"
"Up periscope!" Konata snapped and with unsteady footing Miyuki moved up to bend and knit her fingers as a step to help heave Konata high enough to grasp the handbag's top edge and haul herself up. Konata pushed the bag's top flap aside to see a narrow business-building-lined Akihabara street under dark boiling skies, and that a – relatively – giant salmon-haired girl carrying the large handbag she was in tucked under her shoulder was kneeling on the sidewalk, sweating and panting.
"What's up, Yuu-chan? You alright?"
"I – I was startled by the thunder and tripped on the walk, sorry," the girl meekly said high above Konata.
"Hey, don't sweat it, babe. I know what it's like," Konata said with rare tender empathy. "This Nagasaki gene zap thing screws our family big time, but it's not gonna knock us out like it did our moms. Just take it easy and don't exert yourself too much."
"But don't you a lot when you sprint, Kona-chan?"
"Sure, when I have to – and how often do I do that, right? Look, take five on a bench then head home, alright? We've done enough window shopping. Besides everything's sold out anyway."
"Alright, Kona-chan," Yutaka answered then suddenly yelped and covered her head as a sudden downpour splashed down amid rolling thunder.
"Close up! Close up!!" Kagami cried up from inside the showered bag as Konata fumbled at pulling the top flap back over after her before slipping and falling back on Miyuki and Kagami in a pile pelted by baseball-sized drops of rain that soaked them in seconds before Yutaka managed to flip the flap shut.
"Good job. Konata! Thanks for the wash and rinse!" Kagami barked, wading ankle-deep in rainwater. "Like we really needed to go shopping again for more super deluxe anime figures when we ought be with Minami, Hiyori, and Patty looking for a cure for our condition!"
"Hey, how was I to know the gods were gonna cry, huh??"
"Onee-chan, it's – it's cold!!"
"Then don't stand in the water, Tsukasa!"
"But there's no where else to stand! No coin-purse, no compact, no wallet, no nothing to stand on!"
"Great!" Konata groaned, sloshing water. "Fine time to tell Yutaka to never leave home without them! Hey –! Quake Two!!" she cried as the handbag vehemently started rocking amid loud scrambling footsteps outside, and the quad held the vellum sides for dear life except Tsukasa, trying to cover her mouth the same time.
Suddenly Yutaka's scrambling footsteps come to a stop and the light leaking in the flap edges from above grew darker and they heard Yutaka panting even deeper. Concerned, Kagami elbow-poked Konata to bend over so she could step on whose back to pull herself up to the handbag's top edge and peered out the side of the flap and saw that they were apparently on a store's recessed door step off the street, which being blasted by sheets of rain.
"You okay?" Kagami solicitously asked towering Yutaka who weakly nodded.
"Yes. I ducked in here out of the rain."
"It doesn't look like it's going to let up any time soon. Wish we'd brought an umbrella!"
"I'm sorry, Kagami-san."
"No, don't be! Even I didn't know – just like everyone else out here too it seems! Well, where is this?"
"It looks like – an old bookshop, Kagami-san."
"Well, let's go inside out of all this cold spray. Just look like you're browsing for manga or something."
"I don't think they have any manga here, Kagami-san. It's kind of dim inside and all I see are rows of thick old books and old maps and old-fashioned globes and things like in a museum."
"Museum??" Miyuki puzzledly called from below Kagami. "I don't recall any bookstore like that in this area!"
"I guess you'd be the one to know, Yuki-chan. Old or new, at least it's dry, let's go!" prompted Kagami.
The opening door struck a quaint brass bell whose tingle-tingle-ring heralded the cozy quaintness of the book-shelf packed place, the refreshingly musty but fragrantly leather-scented air greeting their noses.
"Looks like we're the only ones here," Yutaka quietly said, trying to look interested in aisles of old leather-bound spined books.
"Oh!" Tsukasa gasped as a black cat appeared and cocked its head as though considering them then scampered off. Konata shook her head;
"Aw man! Just came in and it already doesn't look good!"
But Kagami was fascinated. "Don't be superstitious! This is quite a charming place, like out of an old movie! It doesn't look or feel like a regular store at all! Almost feels snug and cozy as a thick wool blanket on a winter night."
"Hey – ufffhh!!! Konata grunted as a curious Miyuki hopped up on her back to join Kagami clutching the top edge.
"I've never seen this place before! Anywhere!"
"Well, can't know everything, Yuki-chan!" Kagami said a little smugly.
"What I mean is – the decorative embossment on the wall, the fine tapestries, the flaming sconces, the general decor, it's like they're out of the late Meiji period. In fact, it all feels like we're inside a real shop instead of a storefront!"
"So? They got a great interior decorator."
"Then whoever it was pulled off an impossible job, Kagami-san," Miyuki said, pointing overhead at rafters beneath a loft of book aisles under quaint skylights where sunlight flooded in. "Storefronts are the ground floors of multi-story buildings, but that's a roof! And all those darken timbers look very very old!"
"Well, maybe this place just happens to be stuck between two buildings."
"I severely doubt it, Kagami-san. The Akihabara area, like most of the city, was entirely rebuilt since the late nineteen-forties because it was totally razed to ashes by incendiary bombing from the war."
"Well, maybe it survived the bombing or whatever."
"That's extremely unlikely, Kagami-san. Nothing of wood escaped the fire-storms – and from what I see, there's absolutely no such damage anywhere – and no brick construction either."
"So how do you explain it?"
"I – I can't."
"Hey, it's alright, Yuki-chan!" Konata quipped from below. "Even I get stumped once a while in the fork of battle with two tempting paths to take!"
"Then, I am facing the mother-of-all conundrums, Konata-san, because I am shamelessly baffled of why bright sunlight is pouring down that skylight – but the store front behind us has a dark rainstorm beating the streets."
Startled, Kagami looked up then out. "What the –?? You're right! But how –??"
"Ker-chew!!" Tsukasa sneezed below. "Sorry! Ker-chew!! Sorry again! Ker-chew! Ker-chew!!"
"Drat! We've got to get out of these soaked clothes or catch our death of flu!" Kagami said urgently and Konata shook her head.
"Dying in a cramped stinking empty handbag! Man, what a way to go!!"
"Shhh!!!" Yutaka hushed amid faint creaky sounds, her hand hastily covering the flap end where Kagami and Miyuki were peering out from. "Someone's coming!"
Kagami ducked low but peeked out to see up on the loft a bespectacled old man in a saffron yukata with peppery hair and and a beard as deep as his belly, the black cat perched his shoulder while he carried a something large covered by a cloth. He looked a hundred years old except for grinning sparkling eyes which for a moment flashed at the handbag and with a gasp, Kagami dropped back down.
"My, my, what have we here now? A budding bibliophile, have we?" the wizen bookkeeper said, descending on wood spiral stairs. "Welcome to my humble retreat and abode, Miss First-Year."
Jaw dropping, Yutaka blinked aback with a mix of surprise and flattery. "Fir – Fir – First year?? You – You can tell I really am? That I'm not in grade school??"
"Of course, my dear! Your true maturity surrounds you, penetrates you, radiates all around you! It binds the galaxy together! And don't let your current ultra-petite stature dishearten you. One day you'll going to blossom into quite a willowy young lady, I promise that!"
Yutaka brightened with a surge of once lost hope. "I – I am??"
"Pssstt! Yuu-chan!!" Kagami whispered up from below. "Such lame lines! Promising what no one can deliver! This is just a dirty old goat! Better off we run into Ronald McDonald before he gets grubby!"
"Uh, er, yes," Yutaka said with some reluctance, backing for the door. "I - I hope you're right, sir. I'm so so tired of being small!"
"Like your four friends?" the old man quipped with a smile while five other hearts jumped with surprise and alarm.
"What's he talking about??" Konata whispered.
"He's just – just guessing!" Kagami insisted with sudden anxiety whispering upward. "I – I don't like this! He's too weird and this whole place spooks me out! Yuu-chan, get us the freak out of here!"
"Are you sure you won't stay around, young lady?"
"Er, no – no – nothing," Yutaka stammered, rushing for the door.
"You mean it's 'nothing' to help your tiny plighted friends??" he calmly asked, something knowing and sincere in his voice bringing Yutaka to a halt.
"What – What do you mean?"
"I mean, unless you wish them to stay mouse-sized forever, I seriously believe you all should come out of those wet clothes and chat over hot green tea with me."
Kagami snickered. "Yea, he's a perv!"
"But what's he mean??" Konata whispered to Kagami with mutual bemusement.
"Shut up – or we'll end up in a flea circus!" hissed Kagami then heard an outside Santa-like chortle.
"Oh, I don't think you'd like to play with fleas at your size, Young Miss! They'd totally gross you out!"
"He hears us!" Tsukasa squealed.
"That's impossible, Tsukasa!"
"'Impossible' is a relative term, my little guests!"
"He knows!" Miyuki blurted in astonishment. "But how??"
"Magic enhances all manners of senses, young scholaress."
"'Magic'??" Anxious, Kagami groaned. "He's not just a weirdo but a nut too!"
"For a 'nut' he's sure batting a thousand guessing us out!" Konata retorted, reconsidering. "He does sound a lot like a wizard, tho'."
"That's video-game mania clouding your brain!"
Miyuki spoke up, "I – I think we should listen to him, Kagami-san."
"Are you crazy too?"
"It's logical, Kagami-san..." (background of Miyuki wiki-banter piano jingle). "It's pointless whispering since he obviously somehow still hears us and therefore knows we're here. Furthermore, since there doesn't seem to be any tone of astonishment or wonderment in his voice at our predicament, I believe he's at least familiar with the phenomena that's be-felled us. This occult bookshop alone is a nest of incongruous placement, construction anachronisms, and environmental inconsistencies, and despite the best efforts of Minami, Hiyori, and even Patty, we're no closer to a solution to our dilemma. Much to my regret, I severely doubt there's anything modern science can do for our condition, not even the most speculative. We'd only end up as objects of freak nature and curiosity. We might even end up on the Jerry Springer Show."
"Oh no!!" the others chorused.
Tsukasa added; "I'm with Yuki-chan! She's never steered us wrong, and besides, he sounds friendly enough."
Kagami shook her head. "I – I don't know..."
Light opened up above them as a nonplussed Yutaka opened the flap and looked down. "What do I do? I – really think he means no harm."
"Up elevator!" Konata called, and hesitantly, Yutaka dipped her open palm inside the handbag for Konata to step on.
"Konata!" wary Kagami gushed. "This isn't a video game!!"
"Hey, when you're cornered you meet an adversary in an open field to call a truce."
"This isn't any battle! He can squash you like a bug!"
"Yuki-Wiki's right on; if you want a hex taken out you go to a sorcerer, not a dentist!"
"Oww –!" Tsukasa and Miyuki mewed with a flinch.
Konata pushed; "Look Kagamin, how much longer do you think phoning our folks that we're extending our sleep-overs at another's house another week is gonna work before we have to show up like this, uh? Besides, what choice do we have? Bad enough we couldn't get any before, but what boyfriends would have us being all chibi like this now – not to talk about any husbands! What jobs could we get? What clothes could we shop? And worst – even Yuu-chan's more developed than Yuki-Wiki now! Going up!"
Skittishly, Yutaka lifted Konata out in full view the smiling shopkeeper who adjusted his quaint glasses and bend low to greet her. "My my my. Now, I haven't seen a morph spell in ages – the Dark to be precise!"
"And you look like Dumbledore in Sholin drag!" Konata quipped and below Kagami rolled her eyes;
"Be diplomatic for once, Konata! He might feed you to his cat!"
"Cat???" Tsukasa squeaked in appall. The cat purred.
The shopkeeper chuckled. "Now, now, my familiar wouldn't snack on such lovelies as yourselves!" He bowed. "My name is Neo Krell, proprietor of this shoppe, and I haven't played rescuer to damsels in distress for a long long time, so I offer you diminitive dears my service!"
"Man, what a horny dude!" Konata quipped aside.
"What do you think, Onee-chan?" Yutaka nervously asked and Neo Krell chuckled.
"Well, it's your choice my darlings, however, if you let your frets prevail I hope you've all a complete Thumbelina wardrobe back home!"
Konata and Yutaka exchanged looks then with the three below, their expressions and hapless shrugs conveying desperation of their dior situation and resignation to any aid.
"Well, now, since that formality's out of the way, I'm sure you've dozens of questions, but first –" He pulled the cloth off an impeccably faithful wallless Japanese doll house living room with kimonoed dolls. "Let's slip you all into something dry, warm and comfortable, shall we?..."
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"Ahhh!..." Neo Krell nodded as though having savored a delicious meal of a tale and sat back from the loft's table and the dollhouse on it where the shrunken quad knelt around the impeccably detailed living room table and cushions and sipped hot green tea from fine dollhouse china mugs while clad in snug floral doll kimonos. Yutaka, clan in a fresh real kimono too, knelt behind the dollhouse opposite the old man. It all felt just too convenient for Kagami, just like the old man's manner-of-fact attitude of their situation, but she also knew they had no choice.
Neo Krell stroked his grizzled beard. "By your story, it sounds much like you're all hapless victims of psi-tarian exposure."
"Psi-tarian exposure??" the girls chorused.
"What's pie exposure?" Tsukasa echoed.
"'P-s-i'. Psi. Please stress the vowels."
"Whatever – what is it – sir??" Kagami impatiently said and the old man grinned.
"To properly answer that, you'll have to learn a little extreme ancient history –"
"History??" Konata and Tsukasa blurted with knee-jerk dismay. Kagami sighed and rolled her purple eyes.
"It's a briefing, not a school lesson!" she chided the two who sighed in relief. "Our pardons, sir, please go on."
"Don't chide them too severely, Hiiragi-san. I once had students as 'eager' for education as they...and as skeptical as lovely Takara-san is."
Miyuki blushed, and sensing she was trapped into explaining, politely bowed and bewilderedly said; "I just – find it very difficult to believe what's apparently and irrefutably happened to us. Science and intense research has shown that magic doesn't exist, no more than Santa Claus."
Konata gasped in dismay; "He doesn't??"
"Deprived childhood," Kagami explained. "So what kind of 'history,' sir?"
"Well, I'll see whether I can condense the universe in a nutshell for your benefit and of our readers."
"'Readers'?"
"I'll explain later. Now then, as your elementary science courses have taught you, the universe is 'approximately' twelve-point-three billion years old and our solar system is barely five, which means it's a toddler in the universal scheme of things –" He gestured the bright skylight "– and long before Sol ever kindled into a sun, other stars have formed planets that are home to races which today have long discarded technology and even their corporeal forms, as I."
Tsukasa wondered, "You mean you're like a sergeant?"
Kagami groaned. "He said 'corporeal', nor corporal! He means they have no – no – bodies...right?"
"No bodies??" Tsukasa gasped. "You mean like – like – ghosts??"
Neo Krell laughed. "Actually, in a sense there are 'ghosts' in the literal manner you think, but I'd rather not go there because removing your fear of death will make you foolishly reckless in life."
"Awesome," Konata breathed with virtual world fascination. Smirking, Kagami turned to Miyuki's look of awe instead;
"How does does all that sound to you, Yuki-chan?"
"Uh, it's entirely credible..." (background of Miyuki wiki-banter piano jingle) "The universe has been around far longer than our solar system – in fact the iron in our blood and the carbon in our bodies were created by thermonuclear transmutation in the heart of an exploding supernova long before our own solar system ever formed, so it's most likely that beings have evolved on far older worlds around other stars even that far back. Therefore today, they'd be infinitely more advanced than we are, and if they have indeed transitioned from physical bodies into incorporeal forms such as pure organized energy, then they'd have control of matter and energy and perhaps even space and time itself in ways far beyond our imagination. In fact, to borrow a phrase, anything they do is likely totally indistinguishable from magic."
"Couldn't said it better myself, young lady!" Neo Krell grinned.
"Awesome! So you mean you're some kind of alien?" Konata asked and Neo Krell clicked his tongue.
"Such an antiquated and inaccurate term! There's literally nowhere in this galaxy that's not home to my prime species, and we've been here since life bubbled out of the ooze here, so it hardly makes me an 'alien'. Heck, if anything, we ought be charging all you humans rent!"
Kagami warily nodded. "I – see... So, are we to assume you're not – what you appear to be?"
"Actually, I AM what I appear to be because I currently prefer a quaint experience and existence here on Earth."
"You mean being an old man in a old bookstore no one goes to and struggling to play taxes?" Konata asked. He shrugged.
"It's an experience."
"Then – why demean yourselves being just like us like this if you're so old and powerful??" Kagami skeptically wanted to know.
"Well, simply put, young lady, the one inevitable bane, the one insurmountable drawback in omniscience and omnipotence is – boredom."
"Boredom??"
"Boredom?" Miyuki effused, incredulous. "But – how can that be? In a universe so huge and diverse and full of mysteries and wonders?"
"You'd be surprised how many times you've peeked under every rock in any planet in the galaxy after a few billion years, young lady. So to avoid that living death without resorting to the real thing, most hyper-beings willfully block out over 99.99999% of all our experiences and 'powers' to live out new random existences in real and fiction-inspired worlds in parallel dimensions which operate under different laws, both sociological and physical, providing infinite challenging experiences beyond nature or logic."
Wide-mouthed big-eyed Tsukasa said; "Huh??"
"You mean life-experience recycling?" Miyuki proposed.
Kagami groaned. "Well, I'm not an egghead like Yuki-chan. Exactly what do you mean?"
"He means they create fantasy worlds in other dimensions to amuse themselves, right?" Konata effused to the old man's smiling nod.
"They might be fantastic, but they're no 'fantasy', Izumi-san. Earth has a particularly rich field of imaginative stories and tales to harvest ideas to create these worlds by. In fact, what you call 'fairy tales' were originally crude folk lore here that were reconstructed and refined in other dimensional worlds which were then reported here by humans lucky enough to've been sponsored by hyper-beings to visit them."
Kagami shook her head in disbelief. "That's – crazy! Are you suggesting that King Arthur and The Tale of Genji and Beowulf really exist??"
"My dear, Hiiragi-san; it wasn't that long ago even in human lifespans that it was just as totally ridiculous and absolutely insane to say humans would ever travel to the moon or that there were anything like black holes. Your physicists are just now accepting the notion that parallel dimensions actually exist."
Konata was in an gaming orgasm. "Parallel dimension worlds made from story ideas! Awesome! Even video games too?"
"You conjure it, and it's likely that a hyper-being somewhere has converted it into a living world in a dimension somewhere."
"Awesome! I bet no copyright's ever covered that!!"
"But – how does all this help us??" Tsukasa asked.
Neo Krell smiled and took another sip of tea, his face basking the skylight's sunlight even as a raging rainstorm beat the street beyond the storefront. "Hyper-beings as an ancient rule don't tamper with inferior races and societies – no offense. Those of us on earth just live quiet peaceable lives doing what the Romans do."
"Rome? But this is Japan!"
"Tsukasa –! Er, just go on, sir."
"Anyway, like many of us 'hyper-beings' living on other 'Earths' in this galaxy, our mortal beings occasionally get bored like you do, so once a while we pay a visit to these fabricated dimensions like a sort of vacation and sometimes return here with little souvenirs and relics, which naturally would be imbued with native psi-plasm which seems to've happened here."
"Psi-plasm?" Konata mulled. "I never heard of anything like that!"
"This is real life, not a video game, idiot!" Kagami chided. "Do go on, sir."
"Mmm. This is going to be little difficult to explain..." Neo Krell said, stroking his beard. "In the mystic world dimensions, 'magic' as you know it is a literal thing. It does the same things and acts the same. There's no difference. In fact, it might as well be, so indeed it is."
"Gee, going pretzel Sholin philosophy on us now?" Konata quipped.
"Magic is real? But how??" Miyuki eagerly wanted to know.
"Well, it'd mean my being suspense-spoiler to you all of how exactly magic works..."
"Spoil us!" Kagami urged.
"Rotten!" Konata added.
"Very well then. You see, when these dimensional worlds were first engineered, they are also built with psi-plasm weaved in with matter. In a very rough way, think of psi-plasm as energy entities that act as the framework of these worlds, and under mind control, can perform like dump trucks and cranes and hammers and drills –"
Tsukasa yelped and Miyuki winced; "Drills??!"
"Er, please ignore them," Kagami said. "Alright, so you mean psi-plasm's like your tools, right?"
"Actually far more than tools; it caters and creates objects or situations for one's imagination at a verbal cue or via brainwave commands. It performs what you call magic. In fact, for all intents and purposes, it IS magic."
"It sounds much like a kind of super-nanotechnology, sir," Miyuki said.
"Good though extremely primitive analogy, my lovely Takara-san. Psi-plasm is actually built into the fabric of space itself in these dimensions, to be summoned via brainwaves to perform by specific and often very intricate rules – which you might call spells and hexes and incantations – which summon or activate them. Over time, the dwellers or even visitors to these realms can add and enrich the spells inventory as it were, which can create some pretty massive mystic tomes. Sort of like how there're single laws in the United States that almost take up a library to define a simple rule."
"Ah! So that's why sorcerers and wizards have so many old books, right??" Konata blurted in awe. "There're millions of different spells for everything!"
"You're on the right track. Of course, those are reports made by humans who were lucky enough to have an hyper-being sponsor their visit to these worlds."
Miyuki wondered, "But isn't it dangerous to allow anyone to possess access to such unlimited power and abilities?"
"That was fixed long long ago due several catastrophic lessons like the Big Bang, so built into psi-plasm are elementary laws regarding limits and usage. There are basically two types; Command psi-plasm execute your wishes or conjuring, and Rule ones monitor keep them in line and limit their effects if necessary for safety's sake. For instance, you can batch up up the right combination of spells that'd shatter your world's moon, but you can't create one to end its universe."
"So how does this help us??" Tsukasa repeated.
"Well, an object in a mystic world can have its psi-plasm 'essence' programmed by a spell to transmute the atomic structure of anyone who touches it. Say, turning you into deer, for example."
"Incredible!" Miyuki breathed.
"Awesome!" Konata breathed.
"'Deer'??" Tsukasa squeaked in panic
"Down, Tsukasa, down! So, how does psi-plasm tie-in with souvenirs and relics, sir?" asked Kagami.
"Well, from what you've related me, there's one unique element that's been recently introduced into your circle that fits that category."
"Huh??" the girls wondered aloud before a dawning notion turned their heads at Konata.
"What??" Konata retorted.
"That thing you bought!" Kagami snapped.
"Thing? Which thing??"
"Don't be dense! It just has to be that limited edition figurine you bought! It felt strange from the get-go!"
"I must agree," Miyuki said. "It possessed a peculiar attraction that's hard to define."
"Yea! It looked so cool!" Tsukasa said and Kagami rolled her eyes.
"So are you saying this thing of Konata's came from another – dimension?"
"Full of this psi-plasm stuff that shrimp-zapped us like this?" Konata added.
"Well then, let's examine them first."
"Er, it's back at home."
Yutaka started to rise; "I'll run back!"
"No, no, don't bother," he said, reaching under the low table and pulling up both of Konata's delicate porcelain figurines of a dashing caped anime hero and a tress-swept damsel heroine in a flowing gown, their proud faces like their hands locked in ardent embrace.
Konata's jaw dropped. "Where – where'd those come from?? How'd you – how'd you –??"
"Don't tell me," Kagami quipped. "He's got the 'beam-up' touch."
"Actually, just a residual ability. Hmmm..." Neo Krell turned the figurines over in his hands.
"Well, doctor?" asked Konata. He nodded.
"I sense the signature of the azure-beta-google-plex ninth power dimension."
"Is that far??" asked Tsukasa.
"Let's put it this way, young lady; it's like a millimeter compared with infinity."
"That's a lot, huh?"
"Don't strain your hair-bow, Tsukasa. Does it help, sir?"
"Well, it's a manga and anime based dimensional plane world for sure, on a Earth-Xetra type world –"
"What's Xetra?" asked Tsukasa.
"A world in the Triffid globular cluster that resembles a very meadow-like Earth all over. Think Alderaan."
"Oh."
"So that's where they came from?"
"No, these figurines were obviously crafted on Earth – see 'Made in Japan' on the bottom of their soles? They were at all likelihood taken to this Manga world and brought back."
Kagami wondered. "Why would someone do that?"
"Maybe it was a traveler who had them in his suitcase when he made his trip." Konata suggested.
Kagami shook her head. "If someone brought them along on a trip, they would've already bought them before your grubby hands grabbed them, right?"
Neo Krell stroked his beard. "A mystery, isn't it? But one thing is for certain; They left earth as common statuettes, and returned imbued with spell-based psi-plasm."
"So it did 'zap' us!"
"It's not as simple as that, young lady. See, psi-plasm is 'energized' by the spacial frequency of the specific dimensions where this world resides."
"Huh??" Konata, Kagami, Yutaka and Tsukasa chorused.
Miyuki nodded. "You mean like broadcast power?"
"Ah, you remind me so of little Albert, Takara-san!"
"Well, I'm the dummy here!" Kagamin snorted. "What's 'broadcast power'?"
Miyuki said; (background of Miyuki wiki-banter piano jingle) "In the nineteen thirties, there were worldwide experiments done to see whether electric appliances and tools could be run without wires, but on electricity broadcast like radio waves. However, the experiments failed miserably because the electromagnetic wavelenghts required to effect direct current were far too wide to ever economically generate, and there were insurmountable grounding issues and the loss of energy through space was astronomical and the efficiency was almost non-existent."
"You mean like running a Gameboy without batteries or anything?" Konata asked. "Cool!"
"You would only think of that!" Kagami snapped. "So Neo Krell, you're saying that the psi-plasm in those figurines had no power to do anything to us here on Earth?"
"So how could it affect us this way here then?" Konata asked.
"Well, the only possible way is if some kind of di-portal was momentarily opened here from this manga dimension that allowed the psi-plasm in these figurines to briefly remain activated."
"You mean like an ajar door letting light into a dark room to power a solar cell?" Miyuki asked.
"Very good though crude analogy!"
Konata snapped her fingers. "Or – lightning!"
Kagami smirked. "What?"
"That real short storm the night we shrank, remember, Kagamin?"
"That's silly!"
"Nevertheless, a severe local storm would be the side-effect of a di-portal opening nearby by," Neo Krell said.
"Does that happen often?" Miyuki asked.
"No. It's not ever supposed to happen at all – accidentally. And even more disturbing is that the psi-plasm in these figurines are hypergolic."
"Hyper gall what??" cried the girls except Miyuki who said;
"You mean like rocket fuel made in two parts that when brought together explodes on contact?"
"As brainy as beautiful."
"Wait – wait – wait!" Konata said. "Nothing exploded in my bedroom! It always looks like that!"
"No, not physically, but when you placed those two figurines together you completed part of a astral circuit so to speak, that triggered a kind of intra-dimensional 'beacon' that would've directed the di-portal to it. Very clever if I say so myself!"
"Clever??" The girls looked up and exchanged puzzled and disturbed looks. "Are you saying our being like this – wasn't an accident??" Kagami asked.
"So it would appear. Most targeted so."
"How do you mean, sir?" Miyuki asked.
"Because the transformation process here had to take full consideration that your new forms would be living in Earth's influence and dimensional frequency, as well as remaining biophysiologically vital. Or else you all would've been transformed into steaming jelly."
"Jelly??!" squeaked Tsukasa.
"And two; psi-plasm – magic – works like a cruise missile, not a shotgun. If a spell was programmed to change one person it'd change one person, not four."
"Uh, couldn't it just – splash over others?" Konata lamely asked his shaking head.
With shivering dismay, Kagami asked. "So you're saying that – that each of us were intentionally meant to turn into – chibi people when Konata brought those two dolls together??"
"How diabolical! Doubtlessly by someone with a morbid sense of humor!" Miyuki tartly remarked and Kagami snickered;
"Well, I'm UNamused!" Kagami said.
Miyuki scratched her head. "What I don't understand is how could Konata-san could've purchased two hexed figurines from different stores on different times."
"Maybe there're way more like that than just mine!" Konata said and Neo Krell shook his head.
"No. I just sensed-out the city for other psi-plasm traces and these are the only two originators."
Yukata suggested; "Well, maybe they're returns. You said someone took them along on a trip to another dimension. Maybe they just returned them to the store afterward."
"Right!" Kagami cried. "They could've been restocked items when Konata picked them off the shelves!"
"I doubt it, Kagami-san. The chances of Konata independently purchasing two figurines imbued with psi-plasm what with the massive inventories and sales fever volumes on different days involved and from separate stores is astronomical," Miyuki said, mulling. "The only possible way Konata could've come home with infected figurines both times is she was given them after she made her purchase and left the store."
"You've blown a fuse, Wiki-chan!" Konata snickered. "That doesn't make any sense. How can I be given something I already had?"
"Maybe someone put another one in your bag?" Tsukasa eagerly proposed.
Kagami sighed; "That doesn't make any sense, Tsukasa! Then Konata would come home with two of each on each shopping trip instead of one!"
"Uh...well, maybe they took the other out so there'd only be one, huh??" Tsukasa said, falling sheepish before skeptic frowns that suddenly dawned with revelation.
Kagami hugged her sister. "Tsukasa! You're brilliant!"
"I am??"
"Eat praise while it's hot, babe!" Konata quipped at the bemused twin.
Yutaka asked. "Then, are you saying they were switched with the ones Kona-chan bought at the store?"
"You mean some wonked-out shoplifter swapped them in my bags?" Konata dubiously said. "How could anyone do that??"
Kagami snickered. "Well, we sure had enough of them to lose track of on the way to your place!"
"This is a most disturbing development," Miyuki remarked. "Such precision coordination and subterfuge implies a conspiracy taking place on two worlds and dimensions."
"Conspiracy?" Kagami wryly retorted. "Look, I know all this talk about psi energy and fantasy dimensions is a little far out, but isn't conspiracy a little over the top?"
Yutaka said, "Well, it does seem suspicious that you all were together just when Konata brought her figurines together for the first time."
"It's almost like someone was watching and waiting for us to go shopping together to make it happen!" Taskasa added, a little shakily.
"Man, that's creepy! Mean we were set up??"
"Obviously, Sonic brain!" snorted Kagami then almost pleadingly asked; "Look, Neo Krell – suppose we separated these figures? Would it break the spell?"
"It'd be pointless. The deed's already done. The venom's already in the vein."
"Gee, do you have to sound so optimistic?" Konata quipped.
"But why me??" Kagami rued, rolling eyes skyward. "What have I ever done to deserve this??"
"Or me too!!" Tsukasa echoed.
Neo Krell nodded and sat back. "Yes, it's indeed a mystery!"
"I liking reading mysteries, not being IN them!" Kagami desperately gushed, "Neo Krell, you're supposed to be all powerful and wise, right? Can't you undo this spell??"
"I'm flattered by your compliment, despite my self-imposed limitations to indulge a humble life-experience here."
Kagami's bosom sank a notch. "That minus 99.999% powers thing?"
"Truthfully, even if I were up to snuff..." He set the figurines on the table and patted their heads. "There's still a hitch."
"Hitch??"
"Most command spells fade in time, between seconds to a millennium, depending on the spell or wish. Those I could 'unlock'. However, this specific 'spell' is uniquely calibrated to its creator. Only they could unwork it."
"You mean whoever did this wanted us to stay this way permanently with no chance of getting back?"
"Oh no!" mewed Tsukasa.
"This is obviously beyond a cruel joke!" Kagami angrily said; "Someone went through the trouble of turning us into dolls here on Earth and keeping us alive like this forever! Why??"
"A real wacko sicko, that's for sure!" Konata fleered. "Look, isn't there a master key spell or cheat key or something like that like every good game has?"
Neo Krell sat back and stroked his beard, looking at the rainy storefront window. "There is, in a sense...in a round-about way, but it's rather involved getting at."
"I'm involved! I'm involved!"
"You see, it will involve a quest."
"Quest?"
"The answer and physic to your situation will be found in the person who imbued magic in these figures."
"In the person to imbrued them?" Kagami echoed with dawning consternation. "You don't mean – mean –"
"Looks like we're going on a trip!" Konata said with mounting thrill. "Man, this ought be fun!!"
"Who's going on a 'trip'??" balked Kagami. "I have qualms just leaving Japan, forget Earth into infinite dimensions beyond!"
"We don't really have a choice, Kagami-san." Miyuki said. "The quest is the only thing that can unlock our morph spell."
"And how we supposed to do that? We're not detectives!"
"Actually, despite what you've heard, it's not the goal itself that does the trick, but the quest itself is the physic," Neo Krell said.
"Pardon?"
"The cure. Are you familiar with how honeybees find nectar?"
"Honeybees??" the girls chorused.
Nodding, Miyuki spoke up. "Yes. I believe I understand."
"Then clue us in, Wiki-chan!"
"Er, gladly. You see, honeybee scouts, after finding a rich source of nectar in a field, return to the hive where they perform an intricate dance of directions to indicate to other bees exactly where pollen in flowers can be located."
"You mean like a map?"
"Exactly."
"So, we're trying to dance out a map with a Quest?" Konata asked and Neo Krell smiled.
"Actually, all your moves in a quest turns the combination lock of the spell's physic concerned, which the psi-plasm all around you is tracing and 'monitoring', so to speak. The goal or reward at the end of the quest is in effect the final turn of the physic's combination lock's knob, as it were."
Kagami scratched her head. "Somehow, that sounds logical."
"Uh, so we're looking for honey?"
"Later, Tsukasa. Alright, so we go on a quest. Just where?"
"The manga world in the dimension where your figurines were psi-plasmically endowed."
"But there must be millions!"
"No problem. The psi-plasmic signature is as plain to me as a street address."
"I don't see anything!" Tsukasa said and Kagami sighed.
"Look, how long is this going to take?"
"Well, depends on how clever and resourceful you are. It could weeks, months, or years."
"Years??" Tsukasa cried.
"Our families will be worried sick if we just drop off the face of the earth like that!" Kagami cried but he only grinned.
"You're thinking four-dimensions in a seven dimension situation, my dear. Even after centuries there, you can return in Earth time mere minutes after you left here."
"Kidding! Awesome! Man, isn't that cool!"
"Too bad video games don't do that; you'd have oodles of time left for homework!" Kagami chided to Konata's smirk before expelling a rueful sigh; "So, when do we get crackin'?"
"Once I pin down exactly which province in this planet, I'll psi-teleport you there incognito as strangers apart."
"Why incognito?"
"So we don't tip-off the guys who did this to us that we're hip to them!" Konata said with eager game.
"First, before I commit myself, I must warn you that there's mortality factor involved here," Neo Krell solemnly warned. "If you accept this challenge, know that it's a mortal challenge. You'll be neither invulnerable nor immortal throughout your trial."
"Huh?"
Kagami tried to say very gently; "He means – we can die trying, Tsukasa."
"'Die'??" Tsukasa squeaked and cringed.
Konata shrugged. "Hey, that's the breaks in a Quest! I mean where's the thrill if a black knight or orc can't hack you to pieces back??"
"I – I – don't know. Tsukasa, at least if we stay put we know we'll be alive tomorrow."
"There's no future in us remaining like this," Miyuki commented. "I'd prefer take my chances to return to normal."
"Yuki-chan's right, Onee-chan! What will mom and dad think seeing us like this? Our sisters too? They'd be sick worried about us whether we went or not, wouldn't they? People would ask them about us like we're – we're freaks! And they'd be nothing they could do for us! Or us for them! We'd be such a – a burden – ! Such an – an embarrassment!..."
Tsukasa sank her sobs in Kagami's shoulder and the nonplussed older sib looked around if for support or help and looked up at Yukata who quietly said; "If I knew going could help make me tall, yes, I'd go."
Kagami sighed and nodded and stroked Tsukasa's hair. "Uh...exactly what will be our jobs, sir?"
Neo Krell reached under the table and pulled out on ancient square wooden box with elaborate scrollwork and set it on the table. "Each of you stand alone on one side of the box," he instructed. The quad looked at another and sighed and left their dollhouse places and stepped out on the large table and moved around the box which was twice as tall than they.
"No, Tsukasa, you have to stand by yourself on one of the other sides."
"What's going to happen, Onee-chan??"
"We grow in the right directions I hope!" quipped Konata after all assumed a side of the box. "Okay, what now?"
"Now, let fate decide each of yours!" Neo Krell bellowed just as a huge thunderclap outside made the girls jump and yelp and lightning flashed so intensely outside that they were blinded for seconds. Neo Krell lifted the box's lid and its sides, as though only being supported upright by the lid, folded inward the box, exposing four fine jade and ivory chess-like pieces standing as tall as the girl standing opposite it, each one appropriately crafted and adorned.
Neo Krell cleared his throat. "Princess, Priestess, Paladin, Pirate...
"Open character niches in your new world to your quest for your physic!"
ooOoo
