Baka's note: The two stories this fic will tell are from true stories from a member of my family.
Needless to say I died laughing and wanted to share it with my readers!
I hope you'll enjoy this two (maybe three) shot!
Chapter 1: Shop
It was a normal day. Really normal, no big scenes or adventures for Naegi Makoto. He was walking around the city with Leon and Yamada. The former wanted to go see the music shop and the latter wanted to go to the bookshop to buy the latest entry of his favorite Manga. The luckster just decided to go for a walk with them and talk a bit while they went there.
And by the merest chance, they walked on a fashion street with a lot of expensive looking clothing shop. But they didn't mind… until a worker from one of them, whose work was to invite people to take a look inside said to Naegi:
"Oh my God… It's you!... It's you!" he said with an excited voice.
Thankfully there wasn't many people in the street to see what was going on, but the ahoge boy sure was confused by the sudden call. Yamada also looked confused as he wondered if the man was talking to Naegi or any other person around. The man pointed at Naegi.
"It's really you! I can't believe it!"
Leon had an enormous smirk on his face as he stepped forth and whispered to the man, loudly enough for the others to hear.
"Yes, it's him. What you gonna do? Call the paparazzis?"
"Oh nononononono. I would never annoy him. I'm sorry! Hum… Would you like to take a look inside? There's a lot of things that might interest someone like you."
"We'd love to. But the cameras…" shrugged the baseball star.
"Oh! This is not a problem! I-I'll talk to the manager. I'll tell him that you're here! We won't let anyone enter to bother you. Just a second!" he quickly ran inside the store.
Naegi and Yamada were staring at Leon with wide worried eyes. They started to shower him with questions about why is he doing that? It's wrong! But the redhead told them that it's going to be fun! They'll have a great story to tell the other once back in the dorms. So he requested the luckster to play along and the Artist to not say a word because of his honesty. Naegi gave up and accepted to play along. It's true that they might have some fun, but lying like that…
"It's all set, please enjoy your stay in our shop. If you need anything please tell me." said the man as he came back, panting heavily and sweating a bit.
"Th-Thank you very much." stammered the luckster, "C-Come on guys. Let's see."
"Alright. Thanks again. And no cameras, please." said again the baseball star to the man who nodded aggressively.
The shop was very luxurious and pretty. Very white. They separated to look around the aisles, there wasn't anybody inside the shop, just some security guards that were keeping an eye on them. It was understandable, they turned off the cameras under Leon's requests. Naegi sighed, he was feeling a bit uncomfortable. And he felt even worse when he saw the same man from outside staring at him with excitement and whispering something to one of the guards while pointing at the ahoge boy. The guard suddenly looked surprised and gasped.
Just who was he confounded with?
Naegi looked at the different clothes in front of him. Something suddenly caught his attention. It was a pair of magnificent white gloves with amethyst details, they would match perfectly with his girlfriend, Kirigiri Kyoko's eyes! He could buy that as a gift for their 6 months' anniversary? He looked at the price… Naaaaaah. Way too expensive. Well, it was to be expected from such place.
"Is there something you might like, Sir?" a voice startled him from over his shoulder, "I'm sorry for scaring you. Are you interested by this product?" he asked, pointing at the gloves Naegi was holding.
"Oh! Y-Yeah. I was thinking of buying that for my girlfriend. But the-"
"You have a girlfriend?! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" said the man, excited like a fangirl who just learnt that her favorite group is coming to the place she lived.
"Oh! Uh?... Secret please."
"Of course! Of course!" bowed the man.
"But the price is very h-"
"YOU CAN HAVE IT!" the man exclaimed, "Actually, if there's anything else that interest you, it's on the house! It will be a honor!"
"Oh n-no! I can't! I"
Leon suddenly barged in, asking if he heard well. As the man nodded, the baseball star disappeared and came back with a beautiful white and pink dress. He asked if he could get this. The man started to sweat a bit as he nodded and finally said that since it's from the house each man can have one product each.
"You know, for business, Sir. Sorry that I can not let you have more." he bowed apologetically.
"N-No. It's fine. Thank you very much. B-But I must refuse. Let me just." said Naegi with an embarrassed smile, ignoring Leon's glare.
"I must insist! Here let me take this and this!" the man exclaimed as he grabbed the pair of gloves and the dress from the teenager's hands, and he ran to the checkout.
Yamada joined them with a pair of beautiful (certainly fake but still beautiful) diamond earing orbed with a little golden dragon wrapping its tail around the diamond. It certainly was for Celestia. Yamada approached Leon and handed the accessories to him, a way to ask him to go give the product to the man, knowing that if he talks, he might spill everything out about Naegi not being the one they thought he was.
Leon understood and did that.
Naegi wasn't feeling alright at all about that. He felt uncomfortable as the man was showing the three products the house was giving to them on a misunderstanding. He looked at Yamada and he was feeling the same way. they nodded together and handed to the cashier 5,000 yens each. It was nowhere near the real price of the items they received as a gift. But they'll feel less bad about it. The man refused, of course.
"Let's just say it's for your hospitality." Smiled Naegi as he put the money down, followed by the artist.
"Th-Th-THANK YOU!" screamed the man as he bowed so low that his forehead almost touched the ground.
The three teenagers finally got out of the shop, the man still thanking them as he followed them out.
"Sir, can I request something?" he asked.
"O-Of course."
"Next time you're on TV… Please slip a good word about our shop. We'll be forever grateful and with your popularity, it could help us a lot!" he bowed once more.
At that exact moment, a personification of guilt appeared in front of Naegi and violently punched his guts. He wanted to apologize right now and give everything back, but the man had such hopeful eyes, in this moment of hesitation, Leon talked first.
"Of course! Don't worry. He'll do it. Goodbye and thanks again." he waved at the man as he pushed Naegi and Yamada away. And once they were around the corner, away from the man's field of vision, he started laughing, "That was awesome!"
"No it wasn't! I feel awful!" exclaimed Yamada, "I never felt so much stress since that cliffhanger in Demon Angel * Pretty Pudgy Princess! I-I think I'm going to faint.."
"He's right! We shouldn't have accepted the gifts. It could have been a great story to tell without the gifts. Now we...we're like thieves!" Naegi said with his face pale, "Oh my god! Kirigiri-san will kill me for this!"
"Oh come on! It's great gifts for our girls! They won't mind."
"Of course they will! Sayaka will be mad too, the only one who's safe might be Yamada-kun! Celeste won't care about the price as long she gets something nice."
To this Leon's jaw dropped as it downed on him.
"Naegi Makoto-dono is right… Also… If we tell this story… we shouldn't tell Ishimaru Kiyotaka-dono… He'll give us a month of detention for this." sighed the Artist, followed by the three others.
"L-Let's just go… Tell the girls the complete story as we give them the gifts… and tell the hilarious story to the others, we won't add the part of the gifts… or maybe we say we didn't accepted them." proposed the baseball star.
"That sounds like a plan… We are so doomed." sighed Naegi.
Everything went as expected for Yamada, when he gave Celeste the earrings she looked surprised but thanked him anyway. He told her the story and she didn't care that he lied to get them free, she was kind of impressed actually. She told him that for this beautiful present, she might think of upgrading him into C+ rank. Which made the Artist feel a bit better. She asked him to make a cup of tea for her and she'll model for him, that made Yamada feel way much better as he dashed to the kitchen.
Then it was Naegi's turn. He approached Kirigiri's room and knocked. She opened the door a few seconds later and upon seeing it was Naegi, she went out. The same happened with Leon, a couple of rooms away. Naegi handed his gift to Kirigiri and she looked surprised. She had a small smile that Naegi always found cute. She opened the box and let out an inaudible gasp.
"These are beautiful, Naegi-kun. But… why?" she asked, 'Wait a minute. How much did it cost?"
And here it is, he gulped. He told her the story, his face turning red from shame and embarrassment the closer he got to the gift part. While telling his story, the detective's stoic face allowed a smile to appear as she imagined how flustered Naegi was in this situation. Then it came to the gift part, her smile disappeared as a frown slowly appeared on her face.
Naegi could clearly see the anger and disappointment in her face as he told her the story, but she relaxed a bit when she saw that he was very feeling bad about it and when he told her that he left 5,000 yens to them, even if it wasn't nearly close to the real price.
"Naegi-kun… What was the prize of it?" she asked seriously, Naegi leaned to her ear to whisper the answer. Her eyes widen and looked at him shocked.
She was about to say something but the sound of a slap stopped her as they both looked Sayaka and Leon. She slapped him and looked furious at him. Kirigiri sighed.
"You know I'll bring it back to the shop."
"Same here." said an angry looking idol.
"I know and understand… Can you please tell them that I'm sorry?!" Naegi begged as he hid his face with both hands.
"Of course. I won't tell your name so you won't be in trouble. And since you left 5,000 yens there, I'll buy something else with the money you left." she smiled as she petted his head.
Leon grunted, which got him two glares from the girls. It was his idea after all.
Then the evening came, and Leon, Naegi and Yamada told the story to the rest of their classmates, with also some senpais from the upper classes. As expected, it was a really funny story. Everyone had smiles on their faces and they laughed. How on Earth, Naegi, a completely average teenager could be confounded with a celebrity? Even Ishimaru laughed, even tho he wanted to scold the trio for their prank. And as Leon suggested, they lied about the fact that they accepted the presents. Mondo and some others students laughed as they said that they were pretty stupid for not accepting free gifts. But the looks from the detective and the idol prevented the baseball star and the luckster from laughing.
"But seriously. Who did they think you were, Naegi-kun?" asked Mahiru.
"That's the best part! We don't know? They never said a name. It was just: 'You' and 'Sir'!" laughed Leon.
"But why didn't you tell them at the end that you weren't who they thought you were, Naegichi? I expected you to end up apologizing." said the Clairvoyant as he scratched the back of his head.
"I wanted to but his eyes were so full of hope! I couldn't destroy it like that. I still feel pretty awful for that part…" he sighed.
At hearing this, Junko's head shot up, glee in her eyes as she demanded which store they went. Naegi was about to answer before Leon stopped him and said.
"Dude, you shouldn't tell her. She'll tell him everything and we'll be in deep shit."
"Yeah… I guess you're right…"
Both knew how Junko had a sadistic side and they were not ready to tempt it like that.
"You know I'm right in front of you. I can hear you perfectly." the fashionista hissed, "Whatever, if you two won't tell me… YAMADA! WHERE WERE YOU?!"
"EEEEEEK!" the artist screeched.
But no one told her.
The next day, Kirigiri and Sayaka went to the store where Naegi was confounded with some celebrity. They didn't explain what happened to the manager, just saying that they were sorry about what happened the day before. No names were pronounced and the man still thought that Naegi was a celebrity and just assumed that Kirigiri and Sayaka must be his, and one of his friends' girlfriends. They also didn't give their own name. They just handed back the gifts and the lavender haired girl reminded them that Naegi left 5,000 yens and that she'll use it to buy something cheaper. She found another pair of gloves, less beautiful than the others but still very cute. She'll thank Naegi for these ones. Then they left. Thankfully, it seems that the staff forgot about the earrings.
But someone else entered the shop, a strange woman wearing way too many clothes and enormous sunglasses. She approached the man that greeted her.
"The people who came yesterday… the 'celebrity' and his friends…" she started.
"Yes?"
"You got it wrong, he was just a simple student. You gave expensive products to students who pranked you. Bye bye~" she sang as she left the shop and started running away.
"Wh-Wh-What…?"
The man looked behind him to see some co-workers glaring at him. He was doomed.
Junko sighed once out of sight and took off one coat. It sure was a good idea to follow the two girlfriends, she knew that the boys lied about refusing the gifts.
"Aaah… Sweet Despair…"
Baka's note: In this story, what' true stopped the moment they got out of the shop. The second part of the story is created to match up with the characters' personalities.
