Chapter One~*~ Too Much
He closed the door behind him and looked around his ship, the most amazing ship in existence, and was so tired. He was so tired of losing them. People he adored, people he respected, smart people, funny people, he seemed to lose them all. Even people he loved, beyond measure, he seemed to find a way to destroy that too. It was all too much, it was all too heavy and he was so tired. He rubbed the back of his neck as he trudged up the ramp to the heart of his TARDIS. His beautiful machine, there really were none like her. This had been just like all the rest. He'd been sure they had won, saved the day, everyone lives. But then he was left staring at a head stone carved with the names of his two best friends in the world. That was all that was left of them. No way to ever see them again, at least not without ripping apart the fabric of time and space. Not that he hadn't given it some thought, after all, he'd destroyed a sun to say goodbye once.
He flopped back in the jump seat and ran his hands through his hair and laced his fingers together at the back of his neck and leaned forward towards his knees. He sat there like that for a good ten minutes, contemplating his decision. He looked up as a light started to flash over the console.
"No," He said shaking his head. "I'm done; I can't do it anymore." He jumped off the seat and ran towards the console, now with a determined look on his face. "I can't keep losing them, one after the other, I just can't," He sounded so defeated and his TARDIS ached for his shattering hearts. He plugged in some coordinates before he went down under the grating to look for something. He found what he was looking for fairly fast and looked at the doors as he felt his ship land. He tossed the pocket watch once in the air and caught it deftly in his hand before walking back to the console.
"You understand, right old girl?" He asked lovingly running a hand across the surface. The lights blinked to a soft pink. "Yeah, knew you would." He went down under the grating again, and came back up, this time holding an odd looking helmet, covered in wires. "I just want to forget."
~*~*~Rose~*~*~
Rose stretched as she slowly came awake. She rolled her shoulders and rolled over to check the time. Damn, she'd only slept for 4 hours. She felt well rested though; she had come to find she didn't need quite as much sleep anymore. She picked up her phone and unlocked it and sighed. Today was the day. He was getting married. She looked at the invitation sitting on her bedside table and shook her head slightly.
Dr. James Smith and Anglia Monro
Request the honor of your company
at the celebration of their union
January 23 2012 at 6pm
Rose was happy for him, she really was. She'd tried, god how she'd tried to see him as he saw himself. As far as he was concerned, he was the Doctor. Part human, but still fully the Doctor, but, as she'd ultimately come to discover, not her Doctor. Rose just felt something different with him. Even her mum thought she was a bit daft; he really was the same man. Just as brave, just as funny and smart. But Rose could never fully bring herself to let go with him, as she'd done with her Doctor. They'd tried to make it work, together, for almost a year, he'd given a lot more than she, and she could admit that. He'd tried really damned hard, cause he really did love her. He'd told her, over and over, he only wanted to settle down here with her, as he'd promised on that day at the beach. But Rose, as selfish and weird as it was, couldn't make herself love him as she'd loved her Doctor. So she'd let him go. After he'd finally given up trying to change her mind he'd moved out of her parent's mansion.
It was just too hard for him, to see her day after day at home and at work. She'd given him space, helped him find a place. And let him move on with his life. It had taken tremendous work, from both of them, but in the end, and after almost a year, they'd worked out how to be friends. So that day almost two years ago, when he mentioned a girl he met at the coffee shop down the street from Torchwood, she'd told him to be brave, ask her out.
Rose looked over at the dress hanging from her closet door, a very simple dress in a blue and green swirling pattern. Her mum had helped her pick it out. At least she had a few hours to read before the wedding. She opened the top drawer of her bedside table and pulled out a report marked TOP SECRET in bold red letters. She thought it was a little cliché but she wasn't in charge of that kind of thing. Rose pulled the bundle of papers out of the folder and tossed the folder onto her bed. She tucked the report under her arm and grabbed her phone before heading downstairs for some tea and breakfast. If there could be one good thing said about this universe it would have to be that her mums' cook was amazing.
~*~*~*~Work~*~*~*~*~
A few hours later and Rose was putting on her coat and thinking over the report she'd just read. Something was nagging at the back of her brain and she wanted to pop over to the office for a moment to check it out. She sighed as he mum came walking into the living room, dressed to the nines already.
"Mum the wedding isn't for another 5 hours, aren't you a little early?" Rose asked as she fished her keys out of her purse.
"Well, it may be the only wedding I get to go to, wanna look my best." She said as she looked down at the dress then up to see Rose's crestfallen face. "I'm sorry Rose I didn't mean-
"I'm running to the office for a bit. I'll be back by one. Tony's suit is in the closet; don't forget he needs to be at the church two hours early for pictures." Rose interrupted her as she opened the door. "I'll see you soon." She slammed the door before he mum could get another word in and started towards her car. Her mum could never understand why she wasn't with this Doctor. And honestly Rose couldn't fully explain it herself, so she'd given up trying.
She got in the car and pulled up her music list, thankful that most of her favorite singers still made music in this universe. Though the Beetles weren't a band here, and neither were the Spice Girls, though that one didn't sadden her much.
The drive into work wasn't too bad, hardly any traffic at 9:30 in the morning. She let her mind wander to her current project, her only project really. She'd been spending the last two years in a desperate search for a way home. Her mum knew; she understood that Rose couldn't stay here. It was probably why her mum had wanted things to work with this Doctor so badly. She knew if they didn't Rose would be forever looking for a way 'home.'
Rose drove up to the gate and smiled at the guard as he came out of his little guard shack.
"Good morning Ms. Tyler," He said as she stopped next to him. "Don't you have a thing today?"
"Yeah, I just need to check on something before hand, won't be but an hour." She told him handing over her ID card. "How's Sarah?" She asked as he scanned her card. "Is that cutie sleeping through the night yet?"
"She'd doing pretty good!" He said his smile widening. "Na, she's just started teething, no time for sleep." He joked and Rose chuckled as he handed her the ID card.
"Your poor wife!" Rose told him and she put her card away. "Have a good weekend Bill."
"You too Ms. Tyler!" He said and she drove down the small hill to the parking garage. All Rose could think about as she parked and got out to head up to her office was the fact that she didn't want to go to this wedding. It wasn't that she didn't want him to be happy, because she did. But it was going to be weird watching him get married; it would be like going to an ex's wedding, which was technically true. Like an ex who she had such a weird, unsettled history with. Rose sat down at her desk and ran her hands through her hair.
~*~*~Dark~*~*~
It was dark and she didn't like it. She knew her Doctor was hurting, beyond measure. She knew he was sad and broken, but it was dark and she didn't like it. The lights flashed on and she dug down deep. She searched out into the void, looking for the one thing that she knew could heal her Doctor. So she called; she reached out and she called to the one force in all the worlds that could fix her Doctor. She called for her Bad Wolf.
~*~*~Dark~*~*~
Rose was sitting next to her mum, a few rows back from the altar. James had just walked up the aisle, followed by Pete, who he'd grown very close to over the last few years. James looked wonderful, decked out in a tux, but still wearing his same old converse, black now, to go with his outfit. Rose watched, a jumble of emotions washing through her as the music changed and everyone stood. She looked back as Anglia came walking down the aisle, her long black hair tucked up into a slightly messy bun and covered with a short sparkly veil. Rose almost didn't want to look at James again. She knew what she would see there. She knew that face as well as she knew her own. She took a deep breath and finally turned as Anglia made it to the altar. James reached out and ran a hand over her check and smiled. It was a smile Rose knew so well, but it felt different now. Everyone sat back down and Rose felt tears well in her eyes. She could see how much James loved Anglia and knew, just knew he'd be okay. Oh how she longed to see that look in the eyes of her Doctor, directed at her.
"Mum," Rose murmured placing her hand on her mum's hand. Jackie looked away from the ceremony to Rose and almost flinched at the pain she saw in her daughters eyes. "I have to go," Rose whispered thankful that they'd sat on the outside isle. Jackie watched as Rose slid from her seat and with a well practiced silence walked to the back of the church. As she reached the doors James' head shifted towards her ever so slightly and she met his eyes. She smiled at him before she pushed the doors open and walked out.
~*~T~*~
She was having trouble breaking though. She'd just have to try harder. She must find her Bad Wolf!
~*~T~*~
Rose was sitting back in her bedroom, the dress she'd been wearing thrown over a chair. She just couldn't take this for very much longer. She missed the Doctor so much it sometimes felt like she couldn't breathe. Sometimes she was so mad at him for leaving her here again that all she wanted to do was slap him. And then sometimes, more often than not, all she wanted was to be in his arms again, after a huge, crazy adventure. Just the two of them, sitting in the TV room, watching some stupid movie to take their minds off the fact that they could have died. Rose was sitting with her head in her hands, wishing she could get home, when her chest started to tingle. She reached up and rubbed it and realized it was right were her key was sitting, just under her shirt. She sat up at shook her head, now she was imagining things. She reached over to grab a brush but her hand stopped mid way as she met her own eyes in the mirror. There was a flash of gold, it only lasted a few seconds, but she was sure she saw it. Then it was just gone.
"Now you're really losing it" She mumbled to herself and she stood up and walked over to her bed. She just needed to sleep. Sleep and she'd get back to work on her project in the morning. She crawled into bed, pulling the covers up and over herself. She was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.
~*~*~Dream~*~*~*~
Rose knew it for a dream almost immediately. She was walking through the halls of the TARDIS; that she knew for sure, though it looked different then it had the last time she'd been in it. The main lights were dim and the emergency lights were flashing a soft golden light. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew it was important she get there. She turned a corner and came to what she was sure was the control room. She looked around, not really surprised to find it empty. Something in the air made her shiver and she rubbed her bare arms.
"Ah, my Bad Wolf," Rose whipped around at the airy, quite voice but found she was still alone. "He needs you so badly right now." Rose wasn't totally sure, but she thought she might be talking directly with the TARDIS.
"I can't do anything," She whispered shaking her head sadly. "I wish I could." She said mostly to herself, though she knew if this was real the TARDIS could hear her anyway.
"What if you could?" The voice asked and Rose looked around again. "He's hurting, so very badly,"
"I'm working on getting back to him; I'm not sure how long it's going to take." Rose told the ship and shivered again.
"It won't be soon enough," And Rose shivered again at the words. "He needs you now!" and the voice was forceful now as tears ran down her face.
"What can I do?" Rose demanded turning around in circles, helplessly. "I'd go to him, right this very second if I could!" Rose shouted now.
"Good," The voice murmured now. "Good." It said again and Rose could almost see the satisfied smile that went with the tone of the voice. "You must find him, you must help him remember."
"Help him remember what?" Rose asked as the dream started to fade around her. "How do I go to him?!" She demanded but got no answer.
~*~Waking~*~
Rose came awake with a loud gasp as her eyes flew open. Her head was pounding and she had to fight down the nausea that bubbled up her throat. She took a few breaths and she rubbed her head, trying to gain her bearings. She sat up slowly, keeping the nausea at bay. She was thankful it was still so dark in her room; the light would do nothing to help her head. Heat was radiating from the key hanging around her neck, hot, but not burning. She reached up and touched it as her dream came rushing back to her. Something was wrong with the Doctor. She was sure that it hadn't been your typical dream. She knew somehow the TARDIS had reached out to her, had called to her Bad Wolf.
She swung her feet over the side of the bed, but she hissed and pulled them back after setting them on the floor for only a moment. Her room at her mums wasn't carpeted, and her feet had met with a soft, fluffy rug. Rose reached for where her lamp should be only to find empty air. Her hand came in contact with the bedside table finally and Rose groped around for her phone but couldn't find it. Now she was cursing the darkness and wondering where the hell she was. She knew she had fallen asleep in her room at her mum's house. Had she been kidnapped somehow?
She stood slowly, finding her whole body was a little achy, though she didn't know why. She walked forward slowly, able to see just a few details of the room. It looked familiar somehow. She reached out as she finally came to a wall, and searched around for some kind of light switch. She took no time in turning the light on when she finally found it.
Now she was sure she must still be sleeping. This must still be part of the dream, right? She slowly looked around the room she hadn't been in for such a very, very long time. It was her room on the TARDIS, just as she'd left it the last time she'd been in it. Pictures lined her mirror across from her. She stumbled over to it and stubbed her toe on a pair of shoes, a pair of converse. Her toe throbbed as she looked down at the shoes and she realized she was not dreaming. She was on the TARDIS; though she had no idea how she'd gotten here.
For a moment her heart ached for her mum, who was going to find her gone in the morning with no explanation. She took a deep breath and decided to deal with that particular pain later. Once she figured out what was going on she'd find a way to get her mum a message. Rose shivered and realized she was still just in her tank top and pajama bottoms. It was a little odd that it was cold in here, the TARDIS always kept her rooms just perfect.
Rose dug out a tee-shirt and some jeans, and threw them on with the jacket that was hanging on the back of the door and her trainers before she opened the door. She leaned out just a little and looked right and left. The hall way looked just as it had in her dream. Rose was use to the unknown, but something prickled the back of her neck as she stepped out her door. She found she didn't have to walk far before she found the very different console room. She walked down the stairs, taking it all in.
"Doctor?" She called out hesitantly, unsure to what she might find. The TARDIS looked deserted.
"Voice Interface Enabled" Rose spun around at the voice only to come face to face her Doctor, though his face was void of expression and emotion. The image was translucent though, and it gave Rose terrible Bad Wolf Bay flashbacks along with Emergency program One.
"Doctor?" She whispered now as she stared at the image of the man standing in front of her. Wishing she could reach out and touch it, even though she knew it wasn't him.
"This is an image extrapolated from your memories," The image said, it was slightly echoy, though the voice was human, it still sounded very robotic.
"Where is the Doctor?" Rose asked, not sure what to expect.
"The Doctors location has been deleted," The image told her and Rose was surprised by that. Why would he delete his location from the TARDIS? She hadn't even thought he could do that.
"Why?" She asked it as she walked around, slightly unnerved at how it turned as she walked, keeping its eyes on her.
"Unknown," The image told her and she sighed; this was going to take a while.
"Is he in trouble of some kind?" She asked after a second of silence. This was like playing 20 questions, only she wasn't sure what she was trying to figure out.
"Unknown" The voice said and Rose nodded her head, well this was helpful, she thought sarcastically.
"What is the Doctor doing here?" She asked as she ran her hand along the console, aware of the fact that the TARDIS was running on emergency power only. "Unknown," She murmured at the same time the image said it and nodded her head again.
"Can't you give me a little hint?" She exclaimed looking around the ship, not talking to the image now. "Just a little help?"
"Where are we parked?" Rose finally asked looking over at the doors then back to the image of the Doctor. They could lead anywhere and she wasn't about to just go wondering out there.
"Earth, Cardiff, 2014," The image informed her and she smiled, at least she'd know her way around, mostly. Rose turned at the buzzing sound behind her and watched as two things popped up out of the console. It was the Doctor's sonic screwdriver and his psychic paper. Where could he possibly be that he wouldn't need these things? She hurried over to them and grabbed them and slid them into the pocket in her jacket. They were bigger on the inside, something the Doctor had done for her a very long time ago. At least now she had ID and a way to get cash, since she didn't know how long she'd be here. And she couldn't go by Rose Tyler here, she was dead in this universe after all.
She looked at the image again; it was just staring at her. She took a deep breath and tried to think of something else to ask, she needed more answers. She needed to figure out where he was, and what he was doing. Why did he need her help so desperately that the TARDIS had somehow pulled her from her universe?
"What is the last thing the Doctor did before he left?" She finally decided on as she sat down in the jump seat.
"Before the Doctor left he activated the Chameleon Arch," The image told her and she just stared at him, she had no idea what that meant. While James had talked to her about the things he'd done after losing her the first time, he left a lot out. And after he'd met Anglia they didn't see each other nearly as often. She idly wondered if he'd know what the Chameleon Arch was.
"And what does that do?" She asked thinking the first thing she needed to do was get a phone. She may need help, and she was sure there were a few people here who would help her. Mickey was here after all, and Jack. She'd need to find them somehow.
"The Chameleon Arch can be used to rewrite biology," The image said and now Rose was really confused.
"Rewrite biology?" Rose asked standing now. "Why'd he do that?"
"Unknown," It said and Rose nodded her head, she hadn't really been talking to it anyway.
"What did he rewrite his biology into?" Rose asked turning to the image now.
"Human," The image said and Rose was even more puzzled. Why would the Doctor want to become human? For all the love he seemed to have for the human race Rose couldn't ever see him willingly becoming a human, so why now?
"What are the side effects of this rewrite?" Rose asked the image as she ran her hand through her hair. "Run it through for me?"
"The Doctor had the TARDIS create a life and place for him here on earth, and then used the Chameleon Arch to become human. It takes all memories of being a Time Lord and erases them," Rose's eyes went wide as the image explained things to her. Her dream, it made so much sense now.
"You must find him, you must help him remember."
That's what the TARDIS had told her in her dream. She had to find him and make him remember, but how? Why would he do this? There had to be a reason, he wouldn't do this on a lark. What the hell had happened to him after he left her on that beach again?
Why would he make himself forget everything? It didn't make sense. She pulled herself onto one of the jump seats and noticed a red sweater hanging over the railing. It looked like a woman's sweater, a companion? Somehow it made her feel better to know he hadn't been alone after what happened to Donna, James had told her what the Doctor would have been forced to do to her. She jumped down onto the glass floor and walked around the console slowly till her eyes feel on a long piece of blue silky fabric. It looked like and untied bow tie. She's only known the Doctor to wear a bow tie in his tux, and it had been black then. She ran the piece of silk through her hands as she thought.
"Is it reversible?" She asked, her voice trembling a little. What if it wasn't, what would she do if she couldn't find a way to help him?
"Yes," It said simply and Rose let out a sharp breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She felt like she was coming to the end of this things information database.
"How?" She wondered, hoping it wasn't going to be something involving another Time Lord, cause then they would be truly screwed.
"He must look into the heart of the watch, it holds all of his biological information, and when opened will reactivate his Time Lord DNA." It told her and Rose nodded her head. That was helpful, kind of. So she was looking for a watch of some kind, and it had to be opened, so a pocket watch then. She looked down at the piece of silk and smiled.
"Has he regenerated?" Rose asked as she stuffed the bowtie into her pocket.
"He is no longer in this form," The Voice Interface told her and she sighed. She knew that only made things that much harder.
"Do you have any images of the Doctor now?" She asked not really very hopeful.
"Unavailable," It said and she rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, I kinda figured that." She leaned against the rail and sighed. "How long ago did he leave the TARDIS?" Rose asked rubbing the back of her neck; she could feel a bit of a headache coming on.
Rose jumped a foot in the air at the sudden sharp pounding on the door. She looked to the console and hoped that even on emergency power the doors were still as strong. She knew how many enemies the Doctor had, though not many of them would pound on the door like that.
"Doctor! Open up already!" Her eyes brightened at the voice and Rose went running towards the door. She threw it open and was greeted by a look of surprise and then joy. "Rosie!" Jack said as he pulled her up into a huge hug. "What are you doing back here?"
"That is a really good question," She said as he set her back down on her feet. "I went to bed at mums, in the other universe then had a very weird, vivid dream of the TARDIS and woke up back in my room here." She looked back inside the TARDIS and sighed.
"So no one in the other universe knows you're here?" Jack asked and she could see the look of worry he had for her family, she'd missed Jack. "What about... the other him?"
"Ah, you mean James." She smiled nodding her head. "I'd assume by now he's on his honeymoon, I think they were headed to Africa or something." Jack noticed there was no bitterness to her words and wondered what had happened there. But he decided to save that for later.
"And where is this Doctor?" Jack asked looking over her shoulder at the TARDIS.
"That is another really great question," Rose said nodding her head. "How about you take me to get some chips and I'll fill you in and you can tell me what you're doing here too," She said and he nodded his head and put his arm over her shoulder.
~*~*~Hiding~*~*~*~
Dr. Jason Noble smiled as his students filed into the room, chitchatting with each other. He loved teaching, loved watching the students absorb the information he was giving them. It had taken him a while to work up to being a Professor, but he was finally here and very happy for it. He looked around the large room and smiled as his students waved or smiled at him as they took their seats. He didn't mean to brag, but he was a very well loved teacher, even though he'd only been at the school for two months.
"Alright class, today we'll be going over the chapters we read yesterday," He said as they all opened their books and he smiled and started the lecture.
A/N- Hope everyone likes this so far. I love hearing from my readers! I kinda know where I'm taking this, but we'll see. Review! :-)
