This contains the Brie Larson song "Whatever", to teach those annoying ValCarol shippers a lesson.

Rated T for language and mature themes, a subject that I don't usually use.


"Take it slow," Valkyrie said, letting her partner know it was safe to move.

Sam slowly pulled out pausing, then pushed back in. It didn't take long for Valkyrie to meet him thrust for thrust. Both became lost in each other; their hips bucked as one.

Moaning, gasping, exploring.

"Oh, Val."

"Sammy, yes, Sammy."

With one last thrust they hit their climax together. Sam collapsed onto Valkyrie breathless, as she panted incoherently. Her walls clamped around his shaft as his seed filled her. As they were about to dose off in each other's embrace, Carol walked in on them. "What the hell is going on?!" she snapped.


The Next Day

Daisy Johnson walked on a really angry Carol Danvers singing whilst playing a really complex alien instrument.

Whatever-Brie Larson

Come On

Let's Go

All Right

Are You

Ready?

Thought we were so good together,

Guess forever didn't really mean always,

And I found out the hard way. (hey-yea)

Now where's my happy ever after?

A simple question you won't answer, babe,

Why you bugging with me?

You said it's over and that you don't care,

So I'm wondering what you're doing here, (oh-yeah)

No! It's not alright for you to try to come around,

And pick up where you let me down,

What makes you think I want to get back together?

No! It's not alright for you to say you're sorry now,

I don't know what you're talking 'bout,

Your hoping that I'm liking it,

You're so whatever.

Finally got you out my system,

Now you're wishing things were still the same,

Sorry, but it's too late.

Had your chance, but now it's over,

It's like I told you when you walked away,

I know you're gonna miss me.

I still remember when you made me cry,

But this time I'm the one saying goodbye, (Oh-yeah)

No! It's not alright for you to try to come around,

And pick up where you let me down,

What makes you think I want to get back together?

No! It's not alright for you to say you're sorry now,

I don't know what you're talking 'bout,

Your hoping that I'm liking it,

You're so whatever.

You have to live and learn,

When someone does you wrong,

Brush it off and move on,

Cause tables always turn,

And one day you will hurt,

And realize that what is gone is gone,

Baby...

It's not alright for you to say you're sorry now,

I don't know what you're talking 'bout,

Your hoping that I'm liking it,

You're so whatever.

No! It's not alright for you to try to come around,

And pick up where you let me down,

What makes you think I want to get back together?

No! It's not alright for you to say you're sorry now,

I don't know what you're talking 'bout,

Your hoping that I'm liking it,

You're so whatever.

It's not alright,

Oh no, (whoa, yea yea)

It's not alright, (it's not alright)

Oh no,

Oh no,

No!

"What. Was. That." asked Daisy.

"I realized yesterday that my girlfriend was bisexual." Carol growled.


And that, my readers, is why I hate bisexuals with the candor of a thousand Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Laganns.