A/N: I'm currently working on a new fanfic series and I decided to put up some of my old ones too. I wrote this in 2001-2002 when I was 14, so yes, I'm aware how bad it is.

Disclaimer: I first posted this on a Roswell fanfic message board and my personal website under the names "Rain Candy" and "Suzun." Additionally, I do not own the show Roswell or these characters.

A World Not Forgotten

Place: Roswell, New Mexico

Time: September 2008

Have you ever looked out the window while it's raining? Not really looked at anything, but just stared off into space until all you could see was a blur of lines going down? I have. And if you do it just long enough, it almost seems like the rain is going in slow motion. If you think about it even more, you begin to wonder. Is the rain really going in slow motion? Is the whole world really on hold? Or are have you become so disconnected from the rest of the world that you're moving at a completely different pace?

I used to hate living in Roswell, NM. Everything was so dull. I mean, I loved my mom and Liz and Alex and all, but sometimes I just felt like going somewhere else for a day or two. By myself. Just escape. I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Michael Guerin. He had always been a loner. He never talked to anybody but his friend Max and Max's sister, Isabel. It was a trio nobody could break apart. But it wasn't a trio anyone could enter either.

Until the day Liz was shot. Max, having been in love with her since he first saw her in elementary school, couldn't bear to see something like that happen to her, so he sort of...healed her. And since Liz figured out his cells weren't human when they were examining cheek cells in Biology, he finally had to tell her the truth. He was an alien and so were Isabel and Michael. That would explain why they never let anyone in. But it certainly didn't explain why Michael kissed me.

Liz promised Max she wouldn't tell anyone his secret, but soon realized she had to tell someone. Since we had been best friends for practically forever, I guess I lucked out and got pulled into the whole thing. So many things were happening at once.

Michael stole my car, along with me in it, and drove to Texas, looking for this dome thing he'd seen in a dream. It was all pretty crazy. After that, Max and Liz had to go see this guy called Riverdog. And he kissed me. (Not Max, but Michael.)

I was confused. I mean, here was this guy who'd just told me he hated me (I'd told him I hated him too) and here we were kissing each other. And I was enjoying it. How, I asked myself, could things get any weirder? I didn't really want an answer, but I guess I got one anyway.

Eventually, we got closer. Tess, the fourth alien, showed up and told us all about their destiny. She was destined to be with Max and Michael with Isabel. Nasedo jumped in to offer advice. Everybody was getting suspicious and it was all because of Liz and me. Alex eventually found out, but there was still Topolsky and Valenti and Pierce. I think Topolsky could have been an ally, but she died in a mental hospital. Valenti decided we were on the right side and joined us. Michael figured out he had the power to kill people when he flung Pierce against a wall and killed him. Michael told me he loved me too much to be with me. Then with a simple hug and "Goodbye" he was gone.

...Why do people have to go

this dark night's now all I know

why does everything have to change

I'm trapped in a world that's oh so strange

Oh why does everything have to change

I'm trapped in a world that's oh so strange

Now I'm on both sides of the same wall-

And I need my room to breathe...

I didn't know whether to be sad or mad or happy or annoyed. It was so sudden. He had told me he loved me. But he'd also said Goodbye. I felt like crying, but no tears were forming. It's probably a good thing because I wouldn't have known if they were tears of joy or tears of pain.

It's the weirdest sensation though. When you feel like you're crying inside but you're not really on the outside. It's like you're torn between two things, or on both sides of a wall. In other words, confusing.

The summer passed, and he ignored me. I knew he missed me, but I also knew he thought we couldn't be together. Maybe we couldn't.

Then came the skins. They were aliens too. But they were on the opposite side of the war. They killed Nasedo. Isabel killed the first one, Whitaker, on her (Isabel's) birthday. But then there was Courtney. She was always flirting with Michael, and it was just disgusting. One day I found Michael at her house. She was in a towel.

I told myself I would never forgive Michael for that. Somehow I did. Courtney did end up killing herself to protect the them and the granilith, which was a pretty loyal gesture on her part, but that doesn't mean I liked her.

After that, Michael seemed like a different person sometimes. I wasn't sure if I liked it. I mean, I missed the old Michael, but in a way he was still there. He paid for me to sing in Las Vegas. He took dancing lessons just so he could dance with me at the Prom. He was there for me when Alex was killed. (We later found out the killer was Tess.) He watched out for me when Liz and I were trying to figure out what had been up with Alex. He let me see him. He was Michael. I spent the most amazing night of my life with him. And then he left. Back to Antar. Out of Roswell, just like he'd always wanted. Just like I'd always wanted. But I'd forgotten when I was with him. Apparently he couldn't have said the same.

...One minute we're standing together

The rest of the world is on hold

How did I get here, in one second

a hundred miles away

with a million people between us...

I just wanted to leave. But Liz told me I was running away from my problems. I could tell she missed Max too. She was staying in Roswell, hoping he would be back some day. I told myself Michael wouldn't be coming back. But I think my heart always knew he would.

Then Billy came to Roswell. He was just a guy I'd met (and kissed) in this songwriting workshop 4 years before. I didn't think much about him afterwards. But then he came and reminded me of my dream. And a might-have-been romance. Except I knew then that it never could have been. I asked him to leave. Even so, I'll remember him forever-maybe even love him in a way-for leading me back to my dream at a time when I just couldn't see it anymore.

Seven years have passed now. Michael never came back. Sometimes I would feel like he was watching me, but that was impossible. He was never there when I turned around. I tell myself I'm completely over him, but if that's the truth, how can I still remember every single moment I've had with him? It's like it's all etched in my mind forever.

"I'm so sorry; I wasn't looking where I was going!" I exclaimed to the person I just bumped into.

"Maria..."

I looked up. "Michael?" No wonder I had felt weird when he bumped into me. What was I supposed to do? There were about a hundred things I wanted to say to him at once, but I couldn't talk. Here I was, finally in front of this guy I hadn't seen in seven years and all I could do was stand there.

"We have to talk," he told me. "Can we go to the Crashdown or something?"

"The Crashdown is not in business anymore," I informed him. "It was shut down last year. Long story. But Liz had to move away."

"Oh. Sorry. But it's probably just as well."

"What do you mean?" I wanted to know.

"Maria, Max is not here with me. Neither is Isabel. They all got killed. Even Tess." He looked upset.

"How did you-Oh my god! I had to be at work five minutes ago...I really have to go." I started running in the direction I had been going in when we bumped into each other.

All the way to work my head was filled with questions. How could he leave me and just come back like this? How could I be telling myself this? Antar was his home planet. Ever since he came out of his pod, he'd been searching for a way home. He had the right to go. That's why I'd let him go. Why was I being a hypocrite? Why was I talking to myself?

...Now you're lost

but I guess I am too

Together we can find a way

and maybe live once again...

Michael was waiting for me when I got home. He really freaked me out.

"How did you know where I live?" I demanded.

Michael shrugged. "I looked in the phone book," he replied.

"Didn't it occur to you that maybe I don't want you in my house? That maybe I'm married? That maybe I have a family that would have freaked out?" I was yelling.

"Um, yeah. But I sort of checked first," he said.

"Oh." I paused and looked at him carefully. "I'm not listed in the phone book, Michael."

Michael look ready to run. "Maybe I should go..."

"No!" I grabbed his arm. "If you're just going to break into my home, you might as well stay."

He sat back down. "What did you want to know before?" he asked.

"Um...I wanted to know how you survived if everyone else was killed?"

He hesitated. "You want to know the truth?"

"Uh, yeah," I said, wondering what in the world he was going to tell me.

"Promise you won't get mad?" he asked, hopefully.

I nodded, a little confused.

"I didn't actually go...to Antar," he confessed.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Where'd you go then?" I asked.

"I didn't go anywhere," he said miserably.

"What? Why?" I jumped up from the sofa.

"I got scared at the last minute and stayed behind," he told me. "I'm really sorry. I was going to tell you..."

So that was why I'd always felt him there. I thought I was going crazy, but he really HAD been watching me. "Is this how you knew where I lived?" I asked shrilly.

He didn't answer.

"Why didn't you ever TELL me?" I was practically screaming. Calm down, I told myself.

"I was just...stupid, okay? I did something stupid. Haven't you ever done anything stupid?"

"Well, yeah. Obviously," I answered.

"I'm sorry, Maria. I'm really sorry." He paused for a few seconds. "When that...guy showed up, I just didn't know what to do."

"What guy?" I asked, knowing perfectly well he was talking about Billy.

Michael quickly changed the subject. "I like your house."

"Um...thanks. Did you ever PLAN on telling me? Or were you just going to follow me around everywhere I went and scare the crap out of me?"

Michael blushed. "Yeah. Actually, I've been planning on telling you for a couple months now. I just couldn't think of the right way to do it. I don't think there IS a right way."

He was telling the truth. I didn't know what to say.

"Why didn't you know about the Crashdown?" I wanted to know.

He looked at his feet. "I knew."

"So, how do you know that the rest of them died?"

"I could sense it," he replied, a little distractedly. He was looking at me kind of strangely.

"That's nice." I was beginning to feel a little nervous. "I...I want you out of this house NOW!" I yelled, pointing to the front door. Why am I doing this?

Michael broke out of his trance and looked a little uneasy. "Um, okay. If that's what you really want." He started walking toward the door.

No, that's not what I really want!, I screamed silently. "Bye," I said aloud.

And he was gone. What have I done?

"I love you, Michael," I whispered to the empty house. "I love you."