Cryng Myself to Sleep

I haven't really breathed for 11 years. Ever since ...... ever since Sam broke up with me. It hurts to say his name now. Or hear it. He is probably SOOO happy with my cousin, Emily, the girl he imprinted on, 11 years ago. They're married, and live in this big housse with 5 children,(3 of them werewolves). While I'm here, in my room, rotting away. I haven't really talked to anyone for 8 years. Just the usual yes, no, maybe, leave me alone or go away. Everyone gave up on me. Except Emily. My EX- best friend. My boyfriend stealer cousin. She comes once every week to try. I remember once she DARE come into m;y room to ask me if I would bo her bridesmaid. The b****!!! I rudellyl refused but she begged. And begged. And begged. Her eyes were brimming with tears. Then I finally accepted. She hugged me so strongly that if I didn't have werewolf powers, I would have been dead. She told me that her wedding was going to be right when the sun was to set. I froze. That was how I dreamed my wedding with Sam would be. Right when the sun was setting.

I came to their wedding, my face filled with false happiness. Emily wore the EXACT wedding dress I had planned and dreamed to wear. I bit my lip to control myself from phasing into a wolf and killing Emily. Instead, I cried. Emily went right to me and asked what was wrong. I remember saying that I was crying because she was so beautiful in that dress. Ha. Yeah right. I quickly dried my tears. But, of course, came the vows. It took me every inch of my self-control not to punch Emily out right there and then. And making myself into Sam's bride. Right after the wedding, Iran straight home, locked myself in my room and staying there. I never went out for 8 years except at midnight to get some food from the kitchen, then going to Seth and Mom's room, saying a silent "I love you". That's how I've been, for 8 years.

I can't believe Sam did that to me. I can't believe EMILY did that to me. What WAS I to them, anyway? Garbage? It sure seems that way. Though I'm mad and hurt by Sam, deep down, I love him. Still. Like hell. And I always will. No matter WHO he likes. I imagine him kissing Emilky now, and I WISH that it was me. HIS imprint. Not Emily. I don't think he EVERthought of me at ALL, for 8 years. The first 3 years, though, he kept saying sorry to me. Like THAT was going to change anything. If it did, than why am I here, in my room, crying myself to sleep?

I guess that's the way life goes. Sam ditches me, Emily gets Sam and I cry myself to sleep. Ha! Fate hates me.