Disclaimer: I do not this anime or any of the characters contained with in it. This is purely fictional, and not tied in to any of the existing stories in the Naruto universe.
On Relinquished Love: Meanderings and Ruminations done by Sasuke Uchiha
Written by The Invisible Sun
For Ulrika: This is what I would think about for so long... and now its finally over. Thank you for the inspiration... thank you for the good times... most of all thank you for helping me let go.
Sasuke sat beneath a tree in an isolated forest. His face slightly contorted deep in thought. Inside his head, memories of Sakura and their love stabbed at his conscience, heart, and general sanity. He had never felt the same after he left her. No girl, could amount to what he and Sakura had. It wasn't like he didn't try to move on. He had already started seeing another kunoichi weeks before he ended his relationship with her. She had beautiful greenish blue eyes, long blonde hair, played the flute to the best of her ability, and was kind and caring. He knew that she loved him dearly… yet still it was nothing like love with Sakura.
He constantly remembered the greatest things about Sakura. The first time she took him up to her secret cave, where she lit candles for him, as they watched the lights of Konoha below them. He remembered the time he came back from training, and she spilled cola all over his new uniform. He remembered how she would kiss him, how she sounded, what she smelled like, how her sweet mouth tasted after she ate strawberries… the texture of her hair, all her expressions, smiles, frowns… there was not one detail that he was unaware of. And now… a year and a month and fifteen days after he had seen her last, after a kunoichi (who he still was seeing), he still felt for her.
"I was right to end it though." He told himself. "She was the one kissing him. I knew it. It was bound to happen. The long distance wasn't a great idea; she wasn't able to handle it. How could I have expected that of her? Yet, despite all that I still think of her when someone says love, or when I smell strawberries, or think of home. "It was only one kiss…" well that is what she said. Even if she hadn't kissed that weak excuse for a boy she would have ended up with Naruto sooner or later, I knew it. Naruto and that boy set their eyes on her the second I left town. And now it has been two months since she and Naruto are seeing each other. I still feel the pangs of jealousy. She doesn't even talk to me much any more. She constantly offered to get back with me… but all I could say was no we can't. And still I tempted her with songs… poems… lyrics… While I was dating this girl… Where are my morals…? I know better than to cheat… but my heart is and was torn in two. I had to make a choice… and I didn't choose Sakura."
He tried reassuring himself, that he had taken the best course of action. The one that would make him happy and her happy. They were tearing each other apart, with little games of jealousy before the end anyway. He hated it when she would sleep over (even if it was in a group) at Naruto's house. And how Naruto would sleep on her lap. And how he would lie to compensate for the stories she told him. How he wanted to make her jealous, how he invented stories of girls he never really met and their awkward intimate moments. All so that she could hurt as bad as he did when she told him that she slept over at Naruto's house the other night, or how he gave her a ride on his bike. He constantly reminded himself of all those things, so that he could bear with his decision. Yet oddly against all sense… Sakura was indeed the girl he loved the strongest in his life. He hoped she knew this… at one point he knew she knew. "But she threw it away." He reminded himself. She seemed less appealing at that moment. Seconds later… she would still enter his brain. She was perfect for him. Her hair… he loved how she cut it short… and her eyes and manner of being. If only he could have had been within physical reach of her none of this would have happened. She would have been his first, and he hers… Another knife to his heart and stomach. He had saved himself for her… and sometimes thought he still was. He hadn't done anything with the kunoichi he was dating now. Mainly because she didn't want to unless there was marriage involved. But it wasn't that that bothered him. It was how close he was to having sex with Sakura. Just half a year more and he would have gone to Konoha… and would have made love to his dearest Sakura. But now it had gone to waste. Was she still a virgin? How far had she gone with Naruto? He felt branded by the question… the searing pain filling his emotions. Causing him to tighten his fists… and bite down on his teeth.
"She's not your property…" He told himself. "Get over it and move on… she threw it all away when she kissed that boy, and it was even worse when she went for Naruto after that pathetic boy. She has no regard for you. Let her go… she's even asking you to do it." Truth… her last letter blatantly stated she no longer wanted anything to do him, or his lyrics. This angered him greatly. Enough that when he though of it, Sakura seemed like a vial poison, or a spike in his side. The image stood there. No sweet memories could mask this feeling. Then he thought at how different she had become when he left. She lost her persona… He felt as if she had died sometimes, and was only replaced by some creature similar to Sakura… Little by little Sasuke eased his body… yes… it was over… and yes he was moving on… he had done so the second Sakura kissed that boy, and he forgot about her when she chose to be with Naruto. "Sakura is dead. What lives in her place now is everything I know I hate." And so Sasuke decided that Sakura indeed was not the answer, even if she was in the past, things had changed she wasn't the one any longer. Even if she was… she was happier this way… with Naruto, with out him in her life. But she wasn't wasn't the one… right?
