Author's note: One of my Tumblr followers venivedivici requested Malec's happy ending and this is my view on how that would go down. Please feel free to review and let me know what you think.

The title comes from a song in The Pirate Movie (it's an 80s pop spoof of The Pirates of Penzance).

Happy reading!


Alec came to with a start. There was still the stench of smoke and death in his nostrils. He looked around wildly to see he was in a packed hospital wing within the Institute with Silent Brothers moving between the beds.

"Alec!" Izzy called as she hurried over. She was still covered in grime, but seemed no worse for wear. She threw her arms around him. "Oh, thank God." She sighed.

He patted her back tentatively and then sat back. "Nothing major, then?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Not with me."

Alec took a moment and reached out through his parabatai bond. He could still feel the connection. "Jace?" He asked.

"With Clary. But they're both fine." His sister assured him.

He nodded.

"Alexander." A familiar, relieved voice said from behind.

Alec turned to see Magnus striding over. He looked immaculate, even if glitter free.

Alec scrambled out of the bed, feeling invigorated. "Magnus, I am so sorry—"

"Stop." The warlock pulled him into a tight embrace. "It doesn't matter. None of it."

"Neither does your past."

Their mouths came together then and the world melted away. Alec didn't care that all the conscious shadowhunters were staring at them in varying degrees of horror. All that mattered to Alec was that he and Magnus were both alive and here together in this moment.

"Spend the rest of your life with me." Magnus whispered when they were finally able to part.

"You'll still want me when I'm old?" Alec asked with a shaky voice.

The warlock pressed his mouth close to the young shadowhunter's ear. "I promise you won't be old alone, little nephilim."

"What does that mean?"

Magnus pulled away and smiled enigmatically. He combed his fingers through Alec's messy hair. "We'll see."

Alec, took his hand. "No more secrets, warlock." He said with a smirk. He tugged on Magnus's hand and led him outside the buzzing room. He dodged anyone who tried to stop him. There was no way he was missing this moment with his lover. They were both alive and well and Alec needed answers.

He opened the door to his bedroom and stepped inside and simply stared in wonder after the door was closed.

Magnus combed his fingers through Alec's hair with a grin. "You're filthy."

"Come help me clean up." Alec pulled on his hands.

"I'm exhausted, Alec." When the shadowhunter's face dropped, Magnus framed his cheeks and met his eyes. "Look, it's not an excuse. I used a lot of energy to help keep you all safe. To keep you safe." He brushed a kiss over Alec's lips. "I will stay with you wherever you need me to go. I will never leave your side. And I promise you, Alexander, we will grow old together."

Alec's hands came up to cover Magnus's. "Together? How is that possible?"

"A spell. To give an immortal mortality. I'll try it out and see. And grow old with you. Even if we grow apart years from now, I won't have to live for eternity with yet another broken heart."

"Magnus." Alec sighed. "Are you sure it will work? How will you know?"

He smiled and kissed Alec again. "I won't be nearly as powerful magically. Small price to pay not to have to live without you long after you're gone."

Alec threw his arms around Magnus and kissed him hard. "Are you sure?"

"I am. I'm done outliving those I love most by many lifetimes. You and I will have a happily ever after, whatever that means for a shadowhunter and a warlock."

"I love you, Magnus." Alec said desperately, pushing him back toward the bed. "I'll shower later, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all."