A/N: I own none of the following characters nor any part of this show. This also might contain spoilers from S6.

This has not been edited by a beta, so if you find any mistakes or have any suggestions, please let me know.

Lisbon may or may not be slightly vulnerable in this chapter, since it is based off of the released picture of 6x09.

Enjoy! :D

Chapter 1

It wasn't the days at home curled on the couch alone that hurt the most. It wasn't the fact she was slipping back into her alcohol habits, or that her days were grey and dull.

It was the empty space that seemed to follow her around. It was that little surprise gift Jane always sent her, giving her a tiny bit of hope. It was supposed to make her feel better, but all it made her feel was regret. Regret and longing and loneliness. Lisbon didn't know why she kept that little shell on her desk. It was a little reminder of him, that was all. Though it also reminded her of the days where she had more of a purpose, when she was so swept up in him and Red John and chasing him before time ran out. And she missed it. The whole thing was bittersweet. She never wanted to get attached, but he came swooping in and she hadn't known she'd fallen until she was already on the floor.

She could see the fleeting bits of worry in her colleagues' eyes, but they couldn't ask. She'd deny the obvious. That she missed him so much it was taking years off her life. Or how every day ended the same. Curled up with the TV on and a glass of red wine in her hand. He'd left her. He'd used her help and left. He had made her feel special and important and then robbed her of it all after he had gotten what he wanted.

Deep inside her heart she knew it wasn't true. Lisbon wanted to be proud of Jane, but those damaged pieces of her heart that fit so perfectly together with his, were in shards again. It was selfish, but who could control the way they felt?

The gifts and letters all had return addresses, and Lisbon lost track of how many letters she composed before tossing them into the black wire trash can and deciding that it had sounded too stupid. Too needy.

So the days and nights dragged on, but she forced herself to remain strong. She was whole and broken, and whole and broken.

All it took was one little souvenir and a scrawled "Theresa Lisbon" with a heart over the I, and she was done for. The letters were no longer opened, but it didn't stop them from coming.

TWO YEARS LATER

The day seemed brighter. There was something special by the way the sun shone and how the sky was tinted that perfect blue. She should have realized he was back.

That sunny bright smile and swirly blonde hair would have made her breathless, would have made her mouth dry and her pulse jump into her throat. That was a while ago. Now she had an empty feeling in her stomach. Though if she was in the mood to admit it, slightly pleased.

"Lisbon!" He called to her. Jane's eyes swept over her once, and she stood up a bit straighter.

Jane's chest tightened when he spotted the dark circles under her eyes. Maybe he was gone for too long. "Tough week?" He asked lightly. She was able to scrounge up a laugh.

"It's always a tough week in the CBI." She didn't add the part she had wanted to. Especially without you.

Jane was as carefree and shining as ever, and she envied it. She envied whomever he had spent his time with, wherever he had went.

Jane's lips twitched into a smile and he stepped closer to where she was standing. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her in close. Lisbon got a whiff of sunscreen and something between cinnamon and pine trees.

"I missed you, you know. I never did get a reply to all my letters." He said it warmly, like he didn't mind, but she still couldn't help her self-loathing thoughts. She let herself sink into his hold for a minute. She closed her eyes briefly before breaking away, knowing it would be inappropriate for 'colleagues' to be hugging for so long.

"Sorry. I've been busy. It has been a little more difficult in the field without our 'best consultant' on the job." Lisbon smirked. It wasn't a lie.

"Yes, well. I'm back if you'll take me. It was a nice time, to relax, but I get bored far too easily. It's more fun to solve crime." He shrugged and smiled. Lisbon returned the expression with a half-smile, and felt a dull ache somewhere in what she used to call her heart. How could she refuse his proposition?

"I don't know.." She tapped her chin. "The office has been a bit more peaceful since you've left.." It was best for the team, for her job, to have him back. (Not to mention she had missed his sunny smile and their amiable banters.)

"But I know Cho has missed you, so welcome back." Lisbon headed to her office, beckoning for him to follow. She had forgotten the thick stack of letters lying on the top of her desk. Shit. Jane didn't miss a thing, surely he wouldn't have missed those. His gaze snapped up from the letters and back to her.

"You didn't open the letters?" He asked curiously. "Why?"

She sighed heavily, and her shoulders drooped.

"I-" How could she explain this without sounding completely stupid? "Your letters were a reminder to me that you left. I couldn't keep wallowing in the past, and you stay in my life or out. I especially can't have people waltzing in whenever they feel like it."

"It wasn't my intention to-"

"I know what your intention was. I just..couldn't. Not at the time." She finished.

Jane knew she was weary to trust. The team and him, that was all she had, and for him to be stretching the strings was wrong. But she was wrong too. She knew he needed time to get away from the pain. He had spent a decade chasing Red John. He needed his own time, to live and find his purpose. He still owed it to her to mend her broken pieces like she had helped him mend his own. Jane squinted at her.

"Teresa, I never got to thank you. The numerous times you've helped me and trusted me. I cannot think of a better person I would want to have on my side." He paused. "But now you have to let me help you. You've been alone for far too long, and... I want to help." His voice tugged somewhere deep inside her chest. She forced her gaze away and swallowed. How could he even help her? He'd just get up and leave again.

"I'm fine, Jane. There's no need to worry. I have my work and the team, and you. You all keep me company."

"It's different and you know it." He replied. She knew he was right, but didn't want to say so. Her silence was enough consent for him.

They sat in a comfortable silence, before he stood up from the chair across from Lisbon's desk. He walked behind her to where he was sitting and kissed the top of her head. That was borderline friendship, and it left her dizzy and slightly rattled.

"I'll go thank Cho for getting me my job back." He winked. "Though technically it isn't a job."

She returned his beaming grin. It was hard not to.

"It's good to have you back, Patrick. Thank you."

Jane hesitated before nodding and leaving her office. There was so much he wanted to say, but it all seemed pointless now. Telling her how much he missed her wasn't going to change the fact she had looked lost and empty. It wouldn't change the sunken in look of her eyes, or the somber tone of voice she adopted. Lisbon was a practical an realistic person, and she wouldn't let herself believe in simple words of how sorry he was. He hadn't known he'd hurt her by leaving. He just did it without thinking. He left and started over. He had abandoned the team and her, without a second thought in his mind. It had been only about him. He had killed Red John and took off, and they still accepted him back. A flash of a white collared shirt caught his eye.

"Cho!" Cho turned and his face stayed impassive, though Jane could see a little warmth in his eyes.

"Jane. What are you here for?"

"I've decided to come back to the CBI."

"You've come back to the team?"

"Lisbon allowed it, so yes. I am." Jane answered, unable to hide his mirth. Cho nodded, and Jane was almost sure he saw a hint of a smile.

"Welcome back."

"Thanks. You wouldn't happen to have any tea, would you?" He asked, glancing at the kitchen.

"Lisbon always buys new tea after it expires. I've never seen her drink it, though." Cho replied. Jane frowned. Lisbon had been waiting for him. He wandered into the kitchen and put the kettle on. He was rather bored, so once it had finished, he strolled into Lisbon's office.

"Want a cup?" He asked, holding up a mug at the doorway.

"No thanks." She answered. Lisbon inwardly winced. She hadn't meant to be so stupidly sentimental. It was now obvious how needy she was. How broken she was after he left. She continued to fill out the paperwork, not bothering to say anything and explained why. Silence stretched out between the two of them. "What have you been up to these past few years?" She finally asked.

"You know. The usual." He shrugged. Lisbon raised an eyebrow.

"Some sort of mischief, then?"

Jane smirked."Maybe."

"It makes my job harder, you know. How am I supposed to get you reaccepted as a consultant?" She sighed, but only for show. Jane flashed her a brilliant smile.

"You could tell them of my other fantastic qualities."

"And those would be..?" She prompted, a smile creeping on her lips. She felt like she was wrapping herself in an old childhood blanket. These comfortable and warm conversations had been what she missed the most about Jane.

"My charming good looks, my intelligence." Jane listed. Lisbon did her best to look unconvinced.

"Mm..not a lot going for you, Jane." She grinned. She glanced down to where her fingers absentmindedly fiddled with the seashell he had given her.

"You kept it?" He asked suddenly. He watched her strong, delicate hands trace out the surface. That shell had reminded him of her. Lisbon swallowed and nodded. He was expecting some biting excuse, but all he could see was pain. He crept closer to her desk, sitting in the chair again.

"Nothing new with you, then?" He asked.

"Other than late nights working, no." She answered steadily. Lisbon's gaze flicked up to him. He caught her glance, and he leaned forward to take the shell from her hands. Their fingers brushing together intimately and he didn't want to move them.

It caused that fluttering sensation Lisbon had tried to ignore so many years ago. She wouldn't let herself fall for him again. He had left her. He had caused her endless nights of worry and days of being lost. The Red John case, the thing that she had been focusing on the most (because of Jane) had disappeared the same time Jane had. She was left with nothing but baffling and tedious cases. His warm hands had reminded her what she had missed. What she was missing. Jane could read the weary grimace on her face.

"You work tirelessly, Lisbon. Have you ever thought of taking a break?"

"A break?" She scoffed. "Why would I need a break?"

"Doing something with friends, maybe? Or going on a date?" Jane questioned. A slow, mischievous smile formed on his lips. Lisbon thought of the numerous occasions where she had attempted to date. They all ended in an insincere promise to go on a second one.

"I don't have time." She sighed.

"You should find some. It'd be good for you."

"You're giving me advice, Jane?" Lisbon laughed lightly. She straightened the stack of paperwork, determined not to meet his eyes.

"Well, yes. I was actually going to ask you to dinner tonight. I thought it would be good for us both to catch up on things." Lisbon nodded, pretending that she had expected the proposition the entire time.

"That's sounds nice." She agreed. Why had she agreed? She promised herself she wouldn't do this again.

"I'll pick you up at seven?" Jane was slightly tense, and his eyes were fixed on her.

"Yeah. That's fine. See you then." Lisbon had no idea whether this was a friend-date, or a date-date, or whatever Jane had in mind. She could never tell with him. He was the master of tricks. Jane nodded again stood up and made his way to the door. He had to do a few things to prepare.

"Lisbon?" He asked, turning around at the doorway. There was something devilish in his eyes that made her skin flush.

"What is it, Jane?"

"I'll be paying, since I owe you for the tea." He grinned, and dashed out the door before she could protest. Lisbon laughed quietly to herself and shook her head. For the first time in two years, she felt lighter. She felt that maybe, just maybe, she could be whole again.