Hi, everyone! So, deciding I needed a break from the doom and gloom, I decided to write a crack fic. For future reference, know that I was not actually on crack while writing this. Enjoy!
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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was sixth period.
Kaiba ran his eyes over the newest corner of his kingdom, a smirk flickering across his lips. It had been too easy, really. And to think...all of this could have been stopped if only someone had thought to wonder if he, Seto Kaiba, was actually telling the truth when he said he didn't believe in all that magic crap.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away...
"Grandpa!" Yugi cried angrily as he burst out of his room, struggling into his school uniform. "Why didn't you wake me up? I can't believe I slept through all eleven of my alarms!"
"Sweetie!" his mom called out from the kitchen. "Could you come here for a bit?"
Heaving a sigh that weighed as much as Tristan, Yugi walked into the kitchen. "Mom, I'm late for school..."
She blinked at him, confused. "But school's nearly over, now. You might as well stay home."
"I can't do that!" Yugi cried, waving his arms in the air like a deranged windmill. "I'll get beat up tomorrow!"
Mom frowned. "Yugi," she said, solemnity cloaking her form. "There's something very important I need to ask you."
Startled by his mother's change in demeanor, Yugi sat at the table, his palms pressed firmly to the wood of the table. After a few awkward moments, he managed to speak. "What is it, Mom?"
A single tear traced its way down her cheek. "Why did 4kids edit me out?"
Yugi blinked. "What?"
"It's not like they had to do that, you know," she continued. "It wasn't even a large edit. Am I so insignificant that they had to give themselves extra work to get rid of me?" She leaned over and put her hands on Yugi's shoulders. "That's why I've come up with a plan, Yugi."
Confused, Yugi thought it best to humor her. "What's the plan, Mom?"
She grinned. "I'm going to kill myself!"
"What?!"
"Oh, don't worry," she said. "Just a little bit. And then Grandpa's going to decide to remodel the Game Shop, so he'll ask you if you have someone you can stay with during the remodeling. You'll say yes, of course, because that's the way you are, even though Tristan's house is too crowded, Joey's is too scary and Tea is so annoying you'd rather kill yourself with a steak. So, you'll buy yourself a tent and live in the woods for six weeks, doing your best to keep anyone from finding out what's going on like a complete moron. In time, the mysterious and highly attractive prince of Domino High will find out you're living on his family's land, and he will take it upon himself to invite you to stay with him, even though his family is actually cursed to be possessed by the animals of the zodiac, and there will be a dragon, and a dog..."
"Bye, Mom."
"Bye, Sweetie! See you after school! That is, if I haven't killed myself, yet!"
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Kaiba fought back the urge let out a round of maniacal, yet extremely sexy, laughter. There would be time enough for laughter when all of his plans had come to fruition.
"Is there anything else I can do for you, Kaiba?"
"In fact, Mister Moutou," he smiled at Yugi's grandfather. "There is. Tomorrow is Friday, and I have decided that there will be a party at your game shop tomorrow night."
Yugi's grandfather beamed. "That sounds wonderful!"
"It does, indeed," Kaiba responded. "Be sure to let Yugi know so that he can tell all of his friends, alright?"
"I will; you can be sure of it!"
It took every ounce of Kaiba's self control to not lean back thoughtfully and murmur the word "Excellent..."
...to be continued...
