Disclaimer: Sadly, I still don't own CSI.
Instances
Nervous anticipation. Fear. Hope. Apprehension. Certainty. Every emotion that could be felt was packed into a man carrying only a backpack and a GPS. It was a leap of faith and, at the moment faith was all he had. Him, being guided by faith alone? It was an odd, bizarre, nearly unimaginable thought, but what people hadn't realized was that faith was important to him, vitally important. Sure, he was a scientist, and science had been his guide, his redemption, his focus, for the better part of his life, but he'd always had faith. He had to. He couldn't have done the work he did without it. He had to have faith that his work mattered, that it made a difference. Science was the mode, faith, the drive. However, now he was without his mode, because science couldn't guide him through this. He was terrified.
Each step weighed upon him. At first the steps were brisk, but they gradually began to slow as he drew nearer to her location. Closer. And then he saw a clearing and all his breath left his body. His heart was beating so, so fast. His stomach felt as though it had dropped right out of his body. He couldn't move. Soon he'd be facing a moment so powerful, so significant, it would affect the rest of his life. It wasn't a moment of truth; all those had come and gone. He knew his truths and he knew with certainty what it was he wanted and what he needed. No, the moment was one that held the balance of his life. It was a moment that would decide his fate and let him know if he would live out the rest of his days in happiness or merely in existence. He'd left one life, knowing it's time had passed. Now, he was waiting for the rest of it, only he didn't know the outcome. It was terrifyingly out of his hands and resting on a single moment. As he stood, rooted to his place in fear and in hope, he waited for that moment. It was about to happen.
People say that a life can change in an instant, and it can. So many instances had changed his life. It was a father dying and a mother letting her son know that she was losing her hearing. It was the first necropsy, the discovery of a field dedicated to bugs and finding work that combined intellect with insects. It was taking a job in the desert. It was the death of a new recruit and the call to a friend to replace her. It was a surgery. It was finally opening one's self up to that one person who would change everything. It was watching a soul mate open her eyes when a heart feared she'd never open them again. It was a proposal. It was a kiss goodbye. It was the death of a loved one. It was being released from something so powerful that it held a man in inaction, in suspension. It was the decision to act and leave the known for the unknown. They'd all changed his life, but only a few of those moments could compare in magnitude to this one.
And then it happened, the moment, the instant he'd been standing there, waiting for. It was the love of his life turning around. It was a stunned look on her face. It was her eyes watering and her mouth turning up into something that if one looked closely, may have resembled a smile. It was seeing the acceptance in her features, the love in her eyes and the future reflected in her face. It was knowing that this moment was changing her life as well as his. It was the drop of a bag and a few steps forward. It was the feel of her in his arms, her mouth on his. It was her reluctance to let go and the last vestiges of fear falling away from his shoulders. It was the realization that he hadn't made the right decision, but the only decision. It was coming home. It was the outcome he'd been hoping for, the outcome he needed. His life had changed in an instant and he would be eternally grateful that it had.
