New Beginnings- Chapter 2
Disclaimer- I don't own any Gilmore Girl characters- But I wish I owned Jess, he's cute, he's troubled, he's smart. Ahhh, my dream come true!. Anyways...
Okay this is my first Gilmore Girls fic (usually I write for Higher Ground) so bear with me okay!!
NOTE- I am a proud supporter of Jess and Rory. I think dean looks like a rat and needs to be dropped from the show.
Note 2- there will be a part for before this but I was to lazy to finish and include it. So it will be there next time
THE DINER
Rory Gilmore sat at a table in Luke's Diner drinking a cup of coffee and reading a book. The book to be exact was Oliver Twist, by Charles Dickens. It seamed like her 100th time reading it, but this time she had to read it for school. Rory tugged on her Chilton Prep uniform. The blue plaid skirt was clinging to her legs. She tried to concentrate on the book, a 500 word essay was due Thursday entitled "How Dickens Used the characters Oliver and the Artful Dodger to symbolize the downfall of Society."
"Hey Luke, Can I have another cup of Coffee please?" Rory asked.
Luke came from behind the counter, wearing his usual diner attire, a plaid flannel shirt and backward cap.
"Where's your mom?" Luke asked as he poured her a cup of hot coffee.
"She's working late at the inn, and I need Coffee." She said taking the cup from him. "Thanks!" she said taking a big gulp.
"Your welcome. Don't study to hard." He said laughing and going back behind the counter.
Just then Jess came in, late as usual, to the diner. He was wearing jeans and a black sweater. Rory smiled at him. Maybe it was the fact that he was Luke's nephew, or the fact that he liked to read, but she really, really liked him. And he looked good in that sweater. She quickly looked back into her book.
"Hey, what you reading?" Jess asked sitting down with her. "Ah, Oliver twist." He said stealing the book from her. "Please sir, can I have some more." He said in a really bad accent.
Rory couldn't help but laugh. She looked at him. He smiled at her, like there was something funny about her, and he laughed.
"What's so funny?" Rory asked.
"What are you writing?" he asked changing the subject fast.
"An Essay on Oliver twist." She said. "Specifically how Dickens used dodger and Oliver's characters to show the decline of society." She said stately.
"So what do you think it symbolizes?" Jess asked Rory.
She thought for a moment and looked at him. Was he joking? She saw that he wasn't.
"I think Oliver shows that though we're oppressed in the world, we can get out of it. We can make ourselves better if we truly believe so." Rory said. "And Dodger shows what happens when society changes and doesn't care for it's own. People are left in the cold and without help they turn bad."
Jess looked at her. "You think just what they want you too." He said. "You live in their cookie cutter world, that everyone strives to be a part of. Don't you think that what your saying is what every single essay in that class of yours will say?" he asked, a hint of anger or something in his voice, Rory couldn't figure it out. "Think for yourself Rory Gilmore" he said and walked away.
As he walked away she looked at him. 'He doesn't know what he's talking about.' She thought to herself. 'Your idea was good.'
"Yeah, right, he spoke the truth." She said out loud in disagreement. She walked up to Jess.
"I'm not a super genius," she said to him, while his back was still turned. "
I like boundaries. I like thinking what others think. It's safe."
"People like you aren't meant for boundaries." He said simply turning around.
"Then what should I do?" Rory asked.
"Meet me after work. Here." Was all he said, and went back scrubbing tables. "I get out at 6."
"Fine." Rory said in her usual 'You really bug me' matter and walked away.
GILMORE HOUSEHOLD- 5:45.
"Mom, I'm going to the diner to meet Jess." Rory yelled grabbing her book bag. She was now wearing a pair of jeans and a pink sweater.
"And why would that be?" Lorelai asked her daughter.
"He's helping me for school." Rory said and left before Lorelei said anything more.
DINER
Jess finished cleaning off the last table. Rory said she was coming over. And it made him happy. She was everything he wanted in a girl. She was smart, very smart, and really pretty. And she was so innocent. Unlike most of the girls he knew. Innocence was something he hadn't had in a long time, and it was refreshing.
There was a knock on the glass door. Jess went to get it, and It was Rory.
"What do you want me to do?" she asked. He knew she was uptight about her grades, but she was also very blunt and to the point. Something he liked.
"Wait a minute." He said to her.
"Fine." She said and sat down at a table.
She watched him wipe down the tables. Well actually she watched his muscles as he washed the tables. And that was nice.
"So What exactly are you doing to me?" Rory asked.
"You'll find out soon enough." Jess said as he put the rag down. "Follow me." He said making his way to the door.
Rory followed him into the cool New England night. They made their way into the square. It was empty because it was dark outside and everyone in stars hollow was eating dinner somewhere in their homes, or doing other things. They walked to the Gazebo. Jess stopped.
"Sit down." He said, doing the same.
"Yea?" she said. "And?"
"Close your eyes." He said.
Rory did. "Now think of a time you felt really alone. Picture it for a minute, all the details, feel it. Pretend it's real. Get yourself to feel that feeling." Jess said.
"What's the point of this." She asked.
"Don't question, just do." He said.
Rory closed her eyes tighter and tried to imagine.
*******FLASHBACK ********
7 year-old Rory sat on her front porch watching her father Christopher drive away in his blue Sedan. She had thought that he would stay this time. He had come to visit, brought her a doll and Lorelai flowers (daisies surrounding a yellow rose), and they had been happy and having fun. And he had stayed for a couple of days and everything seemed to be going well.
But now he was leaving again. Promising to visit. But she knew deep down he wouldn't for a long time. She started to cry. Hugging her doll.
"Bye sweetheart I love you." Christopher yelled as he pulled out of the driveway.
"Bye Daddy!" she said waving crying.
********* END FLASHBACK *********
Rory wiped a tear from her eye. Jess noticed.
"You thought of one didn't you?" he said.
"Yeah." She answered.
"Tell me."
"I was 7 or 8. My dad came to visit. He stayed for almost a week. It was great. We all had fun, him, my mom, me, all of us were together. It was like we were a family. But then he just left. I went to get breakfast and he said he was leaving. Promising he would be back and then he didn't. That was the last time I saw him before last summer." Rory said sadly.
" I'm sorry." Jess said.
"And yours?" Rory asked him.
He looked away, not wanting to talk about it.
"Jess tell me. It's not fair." She said all most whining. "I told you, now tell me." She said making him face her.
"Fine." He said, this wasn't part of his plan, it was backfiring on him. He had thought that she would answer just for herself. And not care about him, just like everyone else. But she had asked him, trapping him in memories that he didn't want to confide. "My mom and I." He said almost in a whisper.
"What part of it?" Rory questioned, not knowing if she really wanted the answer.
"All of it." He said, standing up abruptly, ready to leave.
"But, Why? How?" she asked not understanding.
He started to walk away not replying. 'Do the safe thing, run.' He told himself.
But Rory caught up to him and grabbed him by the arm.
"Tell me!" she said.
"What if I don't want to?" he asked turning to her his cynicism creeping back in his voice.
The he turned and walked away.
"Go ahead walk away Jess." She said, a hint of hurt and anger in her voice, "But if you ever want to be close with me you have to open up sometime." She yelled.
He turned around in the street. "Fine." He yelled. "You want to hear all about it? I'll tell you princess." He shot back, with a twist of bitterness and sarcasm.
They sat on the bench across from Lukes. "Miss Rory Gilmore and her little perfect image of her little perfect world." He said sarcastically. "Wants to hear the story of poor little Jess' life. Why so you can save me?"
"No, Because I expect from you what you asked from me." She said. "You say I live in a cookie cutter world. At least I do what I ask of people. I practice what I preach." She said angrily.
"Fine. Here's the gory details you seam to want so much. Just remember you asked for it." He yelled back at her.
"My mom is a drunk." He said bitterly. "She has been since I remember. She always left me alone, went out with her boyfriends, and lets just say she had quite a few, doesn't even know who my father is."
He looked at Rory but couldn't see anything in her face.
"You want to know a time I felt really alone. Okay then." He said pausing. "I was 6. It was Kindergarten Graduation. All the parents were supposed to be there. We bought them flowers, I even had a little thing to say all myself about the school year. She promised she'd be there. She never showed up. I had to walk home all alone. Found her passed out on the couch with a bottle of Russian Vodka in her hand." He said. "That stands out a lot." He said and then thought for a minute.
"She gave me my first drink when I was 7." He said out of the blue. She gave him a questioning look and he continued. "I was her honorary drinking buddy. I used to be reading a book and she would be drinking. She would make me drink with her. I had to cause you know, she'd probably get mad and yell or something. She used to slip it into my drinks and stuff. Just so I wouldn't act smarter than her or read more or anything. She controlled me with it. And it was nasty. But you have to suck it up." He said. "Ever had wine coolers and kool-aid together?" he asked and then laughed. "Ooops sorry forgot who I was asking. That was the only thing that tasted good, when it was mixed together."
Rory sat quietly, she would never have known. "Did she..." Rory started to ask.
"Did she what?" Jess asked annoyed. "Did she ever hit me? Is that what you want to know?"
He looked at Rory.
"Yeah she did, she hit me. When the booze thought for her. And yeah it hurt." He said pulling up his right sleeve to reveal a large scar. "See this? I got this when I was 12. Mom had like 1/2 a bottle of Vodka or something. She was drunk, I did something, and she slammed me up against the kitchen counter. Hit just so, broke the bone and it came out. I had to have a neighbor bring me to the hospital to get it set cause by then mom had passed out." He said pausing and then adding. "She always said she was sorry after she hurt me. She stayed sober for almost a month after that. But it never lasted."
"I'm so sorry." Rory said almost in a whisper.
"Don't be. I don't need your pity. I don't need you feeling sorry for me." He said angrily.
"No, I'm not sorry about that. I'm sorry you think that's all you have." She said simply. "That all you can be is like your mother. I know that's what you think." Rory said pausing as she saw him roll is eyes in disbelief, "I can see it in your eyes. That's why you act up, get into fights, get in trouble, and do whatever else you do. Cause you think your going to turn out like her any ways so you might as well start now. Right?" Rory asked glaring at him. Jess didn't respond.
"But there is also that part of you that knows you can be better. The part that she hated you for. The part that tries to be better. The part of you that reads books, and enjoys learning, and all that. That's the part you want to be."
"Rory," Jess said. "You use your books to imagine where you'll be someday. The love you'll have. You read to experience the world." Pausing and then saying again,. "Why else would you read Oliver Twist 5 million times. Cause you wanted to see a world other than your happy little Stars Hallow life. You would see it but your heart and mind would always come back to Stars Hallow."
"Me, I read to escape. But I always came back. I read cause I wanted away from there. It didn't matter what it was I needed to get away. Tats why we're different." Jess said. "You're Miss Perfect, Miss Pretty Pretty Princess. Miss Prep School. Great mom, great school, great life. And Me? I'm trouble, Trash, wrong side of the tracks. They don't mix do they?
Rory glared at him. How dare he." Don't think you know about my life." Rory said. "My mom had me when she was 16. My age! We lived in a shed behind the inn until I was 6. Mom made it home. I worked my Butt off to get into Chilton. My mom couldn't afford it, she had to ask for help from my grandparents. Do you know how much that got to her? I've worked hard for everything I've ever gotten. My grades, my newspaper position, my reputation, EVERYTHING. So don't say my life is perfect. Sure my mom is awesome but we have our problems." She said getting up, hurt by his comment. "Now I need to go write my essay."
Getting up she started to walk away. Then turning around she said. "I'll call you later." Jess didn't answer, he just sat there watching her walk away.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
Jess stormed into the diner seeing Luke and Lorelei together.
"I'm going upstairs." He said his attitude back on full force.
"Fine." Luke said to him nicely.
THE APARTMENT
Jess ran up to his room. He needed to escape from it all for a minute. Something he hadn't had to do in a while. He turned on his stereo. The volume at top blast. At times like this he could only concentrate with loud noise. He sat on his bed. Pulling out a dark notebook and a silver pen from under his bed he started to write.
"I Hate you I hate you I hate you.
I hate what you've done to me, Don't you even care.
I hate what you do to me, do you ever care.
The memories they won't go away, you haunt me in my dreams.
The pain I feel still seams so real, Though I know this isn't like it should be.
You've made me who I am today
I hate myself for that
I let you hurt me with your lies. I hate you even more for that
I can't trust. I can't love. Not after what you've done to me
You come back and screw it up. Like you have all the times before
I trusted you, I loved you and look what you did.
You drank, you smoked, you hit. YOU LEFT ME. See what good it did.
She wants me to change, says I can.
If I knew how to I really really would
But I know it's you that needs to change. Even though I know you never will
If you ever really loved me you would have already.
When I asked you too before
At least there are people here that care or at least fake it really well
Luke- with his attitude I can see why you left, but not why you are like you are now
Lorelei- the prefect mom. I hate her, she shows all you deprived me of.
And Rory- God... She's everything I'd ever want. But you spoiled that to. After she hears the whole story she would never want me.
It's all your fault. I hate you.
I hate what you've done, what you've failed to do. I hate what I've become because of you.
I hate you. I hate this. I hate all of this..."
He put the pen down. He felt better. He laid down and his head filled of thoughts of Rory.
RORY'S ROOM
Rory sat looking at the blank computer screen. She was supposed to be writing her essay. And it was so hard. She was shaken up about what had just happened. And she didn't know what to say in her essay.
"500 words. 500 words." She thought to herself, clicking the Key board.
"How Dickens Used the characters Oliver and the Artful Dodger to symbolize the downfall of Society"
By Rory Gilmore
Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens, is an epic piece of British literature. Dickens tried to portray the upset of the times. A time of vast urbanization where, if you didn't change you were eaten alive. Dickens tried to show through his vast characters the people left behind, and the people struggling to keep up with the fast paced society.
I could write an essay like everyone else, live in my cookie cutter world, and tell you that through Oliver, Dickens showed that though we're oppressed in the world, we can get out of it. We can make ourselves better if we truly believe so. And through Dodger he showed what happens when society changes and doesn't care for it's own. People are left in the cold and without help they turn bad. But I can't do that.
A good friend of mine told me I had to think for myself. I had to stop being safe and just saying what I thought People wanted to hear from me. But though listening to him and reading Oliver Twist, I know I have to think for myself.
There are 2 types of people in this world. The people that see life for what it is, and those who see life for what it could be. I was sitting in Luke's dinner in my small town of Stars Hallow, Jess, my friend, asked what I was doing. Reading Oliver Twist of course. He asked me what I thought and I told him. That's when he said the aforementioned statement. And then said he would help me understand more.
Through our conversation I began to understand the true message of Oliver Twist, and what Dickens was trying to portray. Oliver showed promise, he saw the world for what it could be. He knew that if he tried and tried hard, never giving up he could be better. He could make the world a better place, though he had been dealt a bad hand when he was born. Dodger on the other hand just gave up. He saw the hand he had been dealt and just fell into the role that society thought that he should play. They thought he was poor, and lazy, and a thief. So he became these. He didn't try to better himself. He just gave up.
We all have challenges and problems. The parents we have, both good and bad. Our economic status, rich or poor. Our attitudes, good bad. Whether we're smart or not so smart. But we can't let these factors control our lives. We all have a chance to change. This is what Dickens was showing through his work.
I said before, all the superficial answers, sure they might be true but this is really what Dickens was trying to show. All Authors write in protest. To think that Dickens didn't is a crime against his art. He wrote what he knew people didn't want to hear. He didn't take the safe way, he exposed the bad in society. And from now on I will no longer take the safe way."
She finished writing, It was 9:00. She printed It out and laid it on her nightstand.
"Thanks Jess." She whispered looking at it. She went to the computer and shut it off for the night.
Disclaimer- I don't own any Gilmore Girl characters- But I wish I owned Jess, he's cute, he's troubled, he's smart. Ahhh, my dream come true!. Anyways...
Okay this is my first Gilmore Girls fic (usually I write for Higher Ground) so bear with me okay!!
NOTE- I am a proud supporter of Jess and Rory. I think dean looks like a rat and needs to be dropped from the show.
Note 2- there will be a part for before this but I was to lazy to finish and include it. So it will be there next time
THE DINER
Rory Gilmore sat at a table in Luke's Diner drinking a cup of coffee and reading a book. The book to be exact was Oliver Twist, by Charles Dickens. It seamed like her 100th time reading it, but this time she had to read it for school. Rory tugged on her Chilton Prep uniform. The blue plaid skirt was clinging to her legs. She tried to concentrate on the book, a 500 word essay was due Thursday entitled "How Dickens Used the characters Oliver and the Artful Dodger to symbolize the downfall of Society."
"Hey Luke, Can I have another cup of Coffee please?" Rory asked.
Luke came from behind the counter, wearing his usual diner attire, a plaid flannel shirt and backward cap.
"Where's your mom?" Luke asked as he poured her a cup of hot coffee.
"She's working late at the inn, and I need Coffee." She said taking the cup from him. "Thanks!" she said taking a big gulp.
"Your welcome. Don't study to hard." He said laughing and going back behind the counter.
Just then Jess came in, late as usual, to the diner. He was wearing jeans and a black sweater. Rory smiled at him. Maybe it was the fact that he was Luke's nephew, or the fact that he liked to read, but she really, really liked him. And he looked good in that sweater. She quickly looked back into her book.
"Hey, what you reading?" Jess asked sitting down with her. "Ah, Oliver twist." He said stealing the book from her. "Please sir, can I have some more." He said in a really bad accent.
Rory couldn't help but laugh. She looked at him. He smiled at her, like there was something funny about her, and he laughed.
"What's so funny?" Rory asked.
"What are you writing?" he asked changing the subject fast.
"An Essay on Oliver twist." She said. "Specifically how Dickens used dodger and Oliver's characters to show the decline of society." She said stately.
"So what do you think it symbolizes?" Jess asked Rory.
She thought for a moment and looked at him. Was he joking? She saw that he wasn't.
"I think Oliver shows that though we're oppressed in the world, we can get out of it. We can make ourselves better if we truly believe so." Rory said. "And Dodger shows what happens when society changes and doesn't care for it's own. People are left in the cold and without help they turn bad."
Jess looked at her. "You think just what they want you too." He said. "You live in their cookie cutter world, that everyone strives to be a part of. Don't you think that what your saying is what every single essay in that class of yours will say?" he asked, a hint of anger or something in his voice, Rory couldn't figure it out. "Think for yourself Rory Gilmore" he said and walked away.
As he walked away she looked at him. 'He doesn't know what he's talking about.' She thought to herself. 'Your idea was good.'
"Yeah, right, he spoke the truth." She said out loud in disagreement. She walked up to Jess.
"I'm not a super genius," she said to him, while his back was still turned. "
I like boundaries. I like thinking what others think. It's safe."
"People like you aren't meant for boundaries." He said simply turning around.
"Then what should I do?" Rory asked.
"Meet me after work. Here." Was all he said, and went back scrubbing tables. "I get out at 6."
"Fine." Rory said in her usual 'You really bug me' matter and walked away.
GILMORE HOUSEHOLD- 5:45.
"Mom, I'm going to the diner to meet Jess." Rory yelled grabbing her book bag. She was now wearing a pair of jeans and a pink sweater.
"And why would that be?" Lorelai asked her daughter.
"He's helping me for school." Rory said and left before Lorelei said anything more.
DINER
Jess finished cleaning off the last table. Rory said she was coming over. And it made him happy. She was everything he wanted in a girl. She was smart, very smart, and really pretty. And she was so innocent. Unlike most of the girls he knew. Innocence was something he hadn't had in a long time, and it was refreshing.
There was a knock on the glass door. Jess went to get it, and It was Rory.
"What do you want me to do?" she asked. He knew she was uptight about her grades, but she was also very blunt and to the point. Something he liked.
"Wait a minute." He said to her.
"Fine." She said and sat down at a table.
She watched him wipe down the tables. Well actually she watched his muscles as he washed the tables. And that was nice.
"So What exactly are you doing to me?" Rory asked.
"You'll find out soon enough." Jess said as he put the rag down. "Follow me." He said making his way to the door.
Rory followed him into the cool New England night. They made their way into the square. It was empty because it was dark outside and everyone in stars hollow was eating dinner somewhere in their homes, or doing other things. They walked to the Gazebo. Jess stopped.
"Sit down." He said, doing the same.
"Yea?" she said. "And?"
"Close your eyes." He said.
Rory did. "Now think of a time you felt really alone. Picture it for a minute, all the details, feel it. Pretend it's real. Get yourself to feel that feeling." Jess said.
"What's the point of this." She asked.
"Don't question, just do." He said.
Rory closed her eyes tighter and tried to imagine.
*******FLASHBACK ********
7 year-old Rory sat on her front porch watching her father Christopher drive away in his blue Sedan. She had thought that he would stay this time. He had come to visit, brought her a doll and Lorelai flowers (daisies surrounding a yellow rose), and they had been happy and having fun. And he had stayed for a couple of days and everything seemed to be going well.
But now he was leaving again. Promising to visit. But she knew deep down he wouldn't for a long time. She started to cry. Hugging her doll.
"Bye sweetheart I love you." Christopher yelled as he pulled out of the driveway.
"Bye Daddy!" she said waving crying.
********* END FLASHBACK *********
Rory wiped a tear from her eye. Jess noticed.
"You thought of one didn't you?" he said.
"Yeah." She answered.
"Tell me."
"I was 7 or 8. My dad came to visit. He stayed for almost a week. It was great. We all had fun, him, my mom, me, all of us were together. It was like we were a family. But then he just left. I went to get breakfast and he said he was leaving. Promising he would be back and then he didn't. That was the last time I saw him before last summer." Rory said sadly.
" I'm sorry." Jess said.
"And yours?" Rory asked him.
He looked away, not wanting to talk about it.
"Jess tell me. It's not fair." She said all most whining. "I told you, now tell me." She said making him face her.
"Fine." He said, this wasn't part of his plan, it was backfiring on him. He had thought that she would answer just for herself. And not care about him, just like everyone else. But she had asked him, trapping him in memories that he didn't want to confide. "My mom and I." He said almost in a whisper.
"What part of it?" Rory questioned, not knowing if she really wanted the answer.
"All of it." He said, standing up abruptly, ready to leave.
"But, Why? How?" she asked not understanding.
He started to walk away not replying. 'Do the safe thing, run.' He told himself.
But Rory caught up to him and grabbed him by the arm.
"Tell me!" she said.
"What if I don't want to?" he asked turning to her his cynicism creeping back in his voice.
The he turned and walked away.
"Go ahead walk away Jess." She said, a hint of hurt and anger in her voice, "But if you ever want to be close with me you have to open up sometime." She yelled.
He turned around in the street. "Fine." He yelled. "You want to hear all about it? I'll tell you princess." He shot back, with a twist of bitterness and sarcasm.
They sat on the bench across from Lukes. "Miss Rory Gilmore and her little perfect image of her little perfect world." He said sarcastically. "Wants to hear the story of poor little Jess' life. Why so you can save me?"
"No, Because I expect from you what you asked from me." She said. "You say I live in a cookie cutter world. At least I do what I ask of people. I practice what I preach." She said angrily.
"Fine. Here's the gory details you seam to want so much. Just remember you asked for it." He yelled back at her.
"My mom is a drunk." He said bitterly. "She has been since I remember. She always left me alone, went out with her boyfriends, and lets just say she had quite a few, doesn't even know who my father is."
He looked at Rory but couldn't see anything in her face.
"You want to know a time I felt really alone. Okay then." He said pausing. "I was 6. It was Kindergarten Graduation. All the parents were supposed to be there. We bought them flowers, I even had a little thing to say all myself about the school year. She promised she'd be there. She never showed up. I had to walk home all alone. Found her passed out on the couch with a bottle of Russian Vodka in her hand." He said. "That stands out a lot." He said and then thought for a minute.
"She gave me my first drink when I was 7." He said out of the blue. She gave him a questioning look and he continued. "I was her honorary drinking buddy. I used to be reading a book and she would be drinking. She would make me drink with her. I had to cause you know, she'd probably get mad and yell or something. She used to slip it into my drinks and stuff. Just so I wouldn't act smarter than her or read more or anything. She controlled me with it. And it was nasty. But you have to suck it up." He said. "Ever had wine coolers and kool-aid together?" he asked and then laughed. "Ooops sorry forgot who I was asking. That was the only thing that tasted good, when it was mixed together."
Rory sat quietly, she would never have known. "Did she..." Rory started to ask.
"Did she what?" Jess asked annoyed. "Did she ever hit me? Is that what you want to know?"
He looked at Rory.
"Yeah she did, she hit me. When the booze thought for her. And yeah it hurt." He said pulling up his right sleeve to reveal a large scar. "See this? I got this when I was 12. Mom had like 1/2 a bottle of Vodka or something. She was drunk, I did something, and she slammed me up against the kitchen counter. Hit just so, broke the bone and it came out. I had to have a neighbor bring me to the hospital to get it set cause by then mom had passed out." He said pausing and then adding. "She always said she was sorry after she hurt me. She stayed sober for almost a month after that. But it never lasted."
"I'm so sorry." Rory said almost in a whisper.
"Don't be. I don't need your pity. I don't need you feeling sorry for me." He said angrily.
"No, I'm not sorry about that. I'm sorry you think that's all you have." She said simply. "That all you can be is like your mother. I know that's what you think." Rory said pausing as she saw him roll is eyes in disbelief, "I can see it in your eyes. That's why you act up, get into fights, get in trouble, and do whatever else you do. Cause you think your going to turn out like her any ways so you might as well start now. Right?" Rory asked glaring at him. Jess didn't respond.
"But there is also that part of you that knows you can be better. The part that she hated you for. The part that tries to be better. The part of you that reads books, and enjoys learning, and all that. That's the part you want to be."
"Rory," Jess said. "You use your books to imagine where you'll be someday. The love you'll have. You read to experience the world." Pausing and then saying again,. "Why else would you read Oliver Twist 5 million times. Cause you wanted to see a world other than your happy little Stars Hallow life. You would see it but your heart and mind would always come back to Stars Hallow."
"Me, I read to escape. But I always came back. I read cause I wanted away from there. It didn't matter what it was I needed to get away. Tats why we're different." Jess said. "You're Miss Perfect, Miss Pretty Pretty Princess. Miss Prep School. Great mom, great school, great life. And Me? I'm trouble, Trash, wrong side of the tracks. They don't mix do they?
Rory glared at him. How dare he." Don't think you know about my life." Rory said. "My mom had me when she was 16. My age! We lived in a shed behind the inn until I was 6. Mom made it home. I worked my Butt off to get into Chilton. My mom couldn't afford it, she had to ask for help from my grandparents. Do you know how much that got to her? I've worked hard for everything I've ever gotten. My grades, my newspaper position, my reputation, EVERYTHING. So don't say my life is perfect. Sure my mom is awesome but we have our problems." She said getting up, hurt by his comment. "Now I need to go write my essay."
Getting up she started to walk away. Then turning around she said. "I'll call you later." Jess didn't answer, he just sat there watching her walk away.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
Jess stormed into the diner seeing Luke and Lorelei together.
"I'm going upstairs." He said his attitude back on full force.
"Fine." Luke said to him nicely.
THE APARTMENT
Jess ran up to his room. He needed to escape from it all for a minute. Something he hadn't had to do in a while. He turned on his stereo. The volume at top blast. At times like this he could only concentrate with loud noise. He sat on his bed. Pulling out a dark notebook and a silver pen from under his bed he started to write.
"I Hate you I hate you I hate you.
I hate what you've done to me, Don't you even care.
I hate what you do to me, do you ever care.
The memories they won't go away, you haunt me in my dreams.
The pain I feel still seams so real, Though I know this isn't like it should be.
You've made me who I am today
I hate myself for that
I let you hurt me with your lies. I hate you even more for that
I can't trust. I can't love. Not after what you've done to me
You come back and screw it up. Like you have all the times before
I trusted you, I loved you and look what you did.
You drank, you smoked, you hit. YOU LEFT ME. See what good it did.
She wants me to change, says I can.
If I knew how to I really really would
But I know it's you that needs to change. Even though I know you never will
If you ever really loved me you would have already.
When I asked you too before
At least there are people here that care or at least fake it really well
Luke- with his attitude I can see why you left, but not why you are like you are now
Lorelei- the prefect mom. I hate her, she shows all you deprived me of.
And Rory- God... She's everything I'd ever want. But you spoiled that to. After she hears the whole story she would never want me.
It's all your fault. I hate you.
I hate what you've done, what you've failed to do. I hate what I've become because of you.
I hate you. I hate this. I hate all of this..."
He put the pen down. He felt better. He laid down and his head filled of thoughts of Rory.
RORY'S ROOM
Rory sat looking at the blank computer screen. She was supposed to be writing her essay. And it was so hard. She was shaken up about what had just happened. And she didn't know what to say in her essay.
"500 words. 500 words." She thought to herself, clicking the Key board.
"How Dickens Used the characters Oliver and the Artful Dodger to symbolize the downfall of Society"
By Rory Gilmore
Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens, is an epic piece of British literature. Dickens tried to portray the upset of the times. A time of vast urbanization where, if you didn't change you were eaten alive. Dickens tried to show through his vast characters the people left behind, and the people struggling to keep up with the fast paced society.
I could write an essay like everyone else, live in my cookie cutter world, and tell you that through Oliver, Dickens showed that though we're oppressed in the world, we can get out of it. We can make ourselves better if we truly believe so. And through Dodger he showed what happens when society changes and doesn't care for it's own. People are left in the cold and without help they turn bad. But I can't do that.
A good friend of mine told me I had to think for myself. I had to stop being safe and just saying what I thought People wanted to hear from me. But though listening to him and reading Oliver Twist, I know I have to think for myself.
There are 2 types of people in this world. The people that see life for what it is, and those who see life for what it could be. I was sitting in Luke's dinner in my small town of Stars Hallow, Jess, my friend, asked what I was doing. Reading Oliver Twist of course. He asked me what I thought and I told him. That's when he said the aforementioned statement. And then said he would help me understand more.
Through our conversation I began to understand the true message of Oliver Twist, and what Dickens was trying to portray. Oliver showed promise, he saw the world for what it could be. He knew that if he tried and tried hard, never giving up he could be better. He could make the world a better place, though he had been dealt a bad hand when he was born. Dodger on the other hand just gave up. He saw the hand he had been dealt and just fell into the role that society thought that he should play. They thought he was poor, and lazy, and a thief. So he became these. He didn't try to better himself. He just gave up.
We all have challenges and problems. The parents we have, both good and bad. Our economic status, rich or poor. Our attitudes, good bad. Whether we're smart or not so smart. But we can't let these factors control our lives. We all have a chance to change. This is what Dickens was showing through his work.
I said before, all the superficial answers, sure they might be true but this is really what Dickens was trying to show. All Authors write in protest. To think that Dickens didn't is a crime against his art. He wrote what he knew people didn't want to hear. He didn't take the safe way, he exposed the bad in society. And from now on I will no longer take the safe way."
She finished writing, It was 9:00. She printed It out and laid it on her nightstand.
"Thanks Jess." She whispered looking at it. She went to the computer and shut it off for the night.
