So as I was watching Angel on TNT (6 a.m.) and apparently there's some big basketball game on… VALENTINES DAY!?!? Are they trying to get men shot??

"You know? Not speaking, would be a really good look for you…"

Summary: anyways… this is a one-shot (maybe more) about why Lilah really wanted Conner…

Lilah sighed, as she slammed her apartment door shut, she didn't even bother turning on the lights as she strode to her bed… she had failed, she sighed again.

She flopped into a seated position on her bed and deeply rubbed her forehead with her worn fingertips, she dropped her head into a resting position in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees… she had failed… she sighed again and then stood.

She threw her jacket at the bedroom wall with a frustrated grunt, she had failed…

She pulled her tank-top over her head and threw it at the doorway. She flopped back down on the bed kicking her shoes off so hard they flew out in opposite directions. "Failed…" she finally said out loud, "failed, failed… FAILED!" she screamed throwing her bed side lamp at her bathroom door.

She was beginning to hyperventilate with anger at herself when she once again sat down on her bed and tried to slow her breathing. She locked her arms onto her knees and hung her head from her arched shoulders… suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck, reserved specifically for Angel, pricked to life… she sat up straight and composed herself in one deep breath, that was starting to get a little too easy.

"Angel…" it barely came out in a whisper. Then she felt it… one strong hand clasping the arch were her shoulders met her neck…

"I'm only going to say this once Lilah…" he whispered menacingly into her ear, "Get…my… son… back…"

That broke her… she burst into sobs.

Startled, Angel jumped back, almost recoiling… had he hurt her? Why did he even care if he had?

"I can't!" she sobbed, jumping up, "It was my one chance! My one chance for some normalcy in my life! And I screwed it up!" she pointed angry finger at his chest forcing him to back up, not in fear, but curiosity… "I SCREWED UP! " she dropped her finger and her angry glare, sighing in defeat and turning away from him, "I screwed up… and now I can't fix it…" her shoulders slumped once again… and a single tear slid from her eye before she completely squelched them.

"What do you mean normalcy?" he couldn't help but ask.

She laughed a laugh full of sarcasm, "Don't you get it? For all that Wolfram & Hart is… it's not a daycare center…" she sighed, "I… I was going to… going to…" she choked off a sob, "I was going to care for Conner…" she sighed, turning to him with fresh pain hidden everywhere except for in her eyes, which was exactly where he was looking.

"You were going to be a mom…" he stated more than questioned.

She looked at him defiantly for a few moments, and then gave up with a sigh… "Yeah…" she let out another sarcastic chuckle, "but I guess I'm not supposed to be a mother… huh?" she wrapped her arms around herself, and faced away from him.

To her surprise he came up behind her and placed his two cold hands on either of her shoulders, with a gentleness she hadn't thought he'd posses. "Everyone deserves to be able to have a child…"

And as soon as his touch had come, it… along with him, was gone…

Sorry… it's kind of short, =] but I should have updates for Bones Angel, and Hardened Head, Hardened Heart up soon…

Please review! (hit the ……………….. green? Button! U kno u want 2!) I need 2 kno if I should keep it as a 1 shot or expand? I think Lilah and Angel had a relationship that was not explored, nearly far enough! Sooooooooo… I'll do it for 'em! =[]