I am returning, with a new, darker muse. So that means I probably won't be continuing some of my more upbeat fics yet, but I am still writing at least. So enjoy this little angst filled alternate universe fic, as this is just the prologue.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories, and Kingdom Hearts II, or the general idea of said characters and places I may mention.

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Cream walls, red carpet, a large window peering into the world. A world so cruel, and so cold; only accepting those who are strong enough to survive in the harsh life. What was to become of the ones who weren't strong enough to cope with the troubles of life? They probably end up like me. I'm Zexion Tomomi, and I am currently in a therapist's office. No one asked me if I needed to go to one, I said that myself. For you see, things happened in my life. Things…that I didn't want to happen but couldn't stop. Like…losing the love of my life, over lust…

As I lay on the leather couch for the patients, I couldn't help but wonder just how therapists get their money. Then again, his supposed doctor wasn't there yet, and was now fifteen minutes late indicated by the small chime from the clock as it struck noon. Yeah, they would charge by the hour…Tick on as many extra minutes as they can… the thought crossed my mind just as a middle aged blond man walked into the room. He seemed knowledgeable, by his powerful amber eyes and the way he was dressed, but then again you can't judge a book by it's cover, or so they say. So I just waited for him to speak to me, as I was still shaken up by all that had happened to me.

"Mr. ...Tomomi?" he asked, looking at a clipboard that he held. I silently nodded. "You don't mind me calling you Zexion, do you? In turn you can call me Ansem." I saw that he had a kind smile before I looked up at the ceiling and shook my head. "So it says that you've been in a relationship with...Vexen Faust, for an ample amount of time, correct?" I winced when he asked that. It hurt to hear his name now. Nodding silently, I had to compose myself a bit better, seeing that my eyes already felt hot. "How was your relationship, before this happened of course, or do you mind me asking?"

"No, it's...alright. We were well, lived in peace, had a lot in common... ... ...A perfect life, for the both of us." All I could do was mumble as my mind raced and played back memories of him. 'Ansem' was busy writing down something and didn't say anything, no doubt wanting me to talk more on our relations, but I didn't want to. So I stayed silent, hoping that he'd get the idea, and when he did, his voice...sort of calmed me down a bit. "I see...I'm sorry, this must be hard for you Zexion, but I understand you have had some...bad events happen recently?" This was the only thing I dreaded coming to the therapist, even though it was the thing I needed to do the most. I had to tell him what happened; to relive those painful memories. I sighed, before trying to summon my voice to speak. "Yeah, Some...bad events..." I mumbled softly. Why did it have to happen... "It started, a few weeks ago...During me and... ... ..." He noticed I trailed off and said, "Continue, I know whom you're talking about." So taking a deep breath, I continued.

"It was during our intimate time...while... ... ...Well, I was gradually losing...the same feeling I had when we would...do it...And that night... ...I just...didn't feel it at all. But, I didn't let...him know that, like an idiot." My eyes traveled to the floor as I thought of that particular night. "Instead, I just faked it, thinking that I'd be able to feel his... ...You know. But when I didn't for two more nights, I had to have someone who could...satisfy my lust. I was already ashamed that I felt as if I had to do this... but..." I shut my eyes out of the guilt, and kept going, trying to keep calm. "I needed solace. So...I sought out... ...The clubs."

Ansem stopped writing when I said that, then started back; his pace hastened a bit. I could tell he didn't approve of it already. "As soon as I stepped foot in those disease riddled places, I felt disgusted with myself. But apparently someone there saw me and took an interest, because as I was leaving, a tall man stopped me. I kept quiet and removed his hand from my shoulder, trying to avoid confrontation, but he insisted that I meet someone. But when he started pushing me back in the club and towards a group of thuggish looking people, I panicked. My fists flailed and I kicked, but the guy was extremely too strong, and half my size, so I ultimately lost and was brought before and even larger man. I raised my head and glanced at their apparent leader, and I couldn't stop staring. He was...beautiful...

"So you fell in love with him? Love at first sight, was it?" The therapist asked, and I nodded slowly. "Yes. His reddish brown hair, piercing sapphire eyes, and his physique was of a god's...Just thinking about him sends shivers down my back...despite what transpired between us." It was true though, a small smile came across my face and I was sure that Ansem caught it as he spoke to me. "I see. And this man name was?"

"Lexaeus Mimorei."

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As I have already planned this fic out, I hope to have no delays and hiatuses for this particular story. And if you enjoy it, send reviews and comments as you wish. Thank you, and TRN out. (waves all cool like)