Christine found Leonard exactly where she thought he would be- burying himself in piles of paperwork alone in his office. He did this whenever he lost a patient, she knew, throwing himself into his work until she managed to coax him out or he passed out from sheer exhaustion.
She gently rapped on the door to his office. "Len? It's me."
"Go away."
Sighing deeply, she tried again. "Leonard, please. You need to come out. This isn't healthy. We have more patients that need to be treated and we need you to sign some release papers."
"They can wait," came the muffled reply.
"Just open the door," she pleaded.
She heard him grumbling but he gave the command to open the door. She quickly stepped inside before he changed his mind.
"What is it, Chapel?" he asked, not looking up from his PADD.
Christine placed her hands on either side of the screen and leaned over it to block his view. "I'm not here as your head nurse, Len. I'm here as someone who loves you and I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine," McCoy growled. "You can go."
"No," she argued, "you're not." Sometimes we can't save everybody, okay? It happens."
"It shouldn't, dammit!" he cried, slamming his hands on the desktop. "It's not okay."
If she didn't already know his eyes so well, she wouldn't have been able to tell that the helpless tears were forming in his eyes. "Yeah, it sucks when we can't do our jobs and we lose a patient. I feel like shit too. If we didn't, we wouldn't be human."
"Maybe I don't want to be human."
Christine took his hand. "Well, I need you to be. Your patients do too."
He yanked his arm back roughly. "He was just a kid, Chris. A fucking kid." He buried his face in his hands, but Christine had already seen the tears falling.
She softened. "Oh, Len." She walked around the desk to pull him into her arms. His shoulders shook as he cried, his head pressed against her stomach. "I'm so sorry," she said, combing her fingers through his hair.
"A kid," McCoy sobbed. "He was just barely older than Jo."
Christine was helpless against the tears that spilled down her own cheeks. "I know, baby. There was nothing you could have done."
He shook his head, trying to get his emotions under control. "I should have-"
"Shh. Don't beat yourself up."
McCoy pulled away, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. "I'm sorry, Christine. You shouldn't have to see me like this." He stared at the floor, embarrassed.
"Len, nobody expects you to be invincible," Christine said softly, angling his chin upward to stare him in the eye.
"I do," he retorted defiantly. "I need to be. People need me to be."
"Not all the time." She traced his jaw with her thumb, causing him to shiver. "Just… Let me take care of you for once, okay?"
"You do. Better than anyone else." He kisses her gently, their lips salty with tears. "I love you." When she says the words back, he feels like he's flying.
"Come on, Doctor. We've got lives to save." She smiles at him.
And then he knows that he really is invincible, because anyone else would have melted then.
