Disclaimer: None of the characters from Naruto are mine. They belong to the great Masashi Kishimoto, who I believe likes to troll pairing fandoms.
However Orpheus is mine and mine alone, as is the plot.

Note: I first put this up on my deviantart account of OrpheusZero537. Check that out if you want.


Ending the War!

Sakura: Naruto…I love you. Please stop chasing after Sasuke…I don't care about him anymore! *group of NaruSaku supporters cheer*

Naruto: Sakura-chan…

Hinata: Naruto, don't listen to her! She's only trying to ensnare you with her evil charms. I love you more than she ever could! *Group of NaruHina supporters cheer*

Naruto: Hinata…

Sakura: Get away from him, you wimpy punk!

Hinata: Screw off, you Sasuke-obsessed skank!

Naruto: Uh ladies, can I say something?

Sakura & Hinata: NO!

*Sakura and Hinata prepare fighting stances. NaruSaku supporters and NaruHina supporters start killing each other*

Sakura: *punches Hinata in the ribs* Bitch!

Hinata: *kicks Sakura in the face* Whore!

Orpheus: Alright, that's it. This man who can transform into a moogle has just about all he can take! *appears from a portal; points to Sakura and Hinata* YOU! YOU!

Sakura & Hinata: What the…

Orpheus: *takes out shotgun* DIE! *shoots them both*

Naruto: OHMYGOD! YOU KILLED THEM!

*both NaruSaku and NaruHina fangirls shocked*

Orpheus: *turns to supporters* Now for you… *takes out twin machine guns; shoots 10 of each group* Now, GO MAKE SOME SHOUJO-AI OR YURI, DAMMIT! *fangirls run away from me*

Naruto: Jesus dude, what the hell!

Orpheus: You, you're coming with me! *grabs Naruto and runs into his house*

Naruto: Don't kill me, I'm so close to being Hokage!

Orpheus: I'm didn't come here to kill you, I came here to save you.

Naruto: Why?

Orpheus: I'm doing this to make sure that you're happy with a girl that you choose by your discretion.

Naruto: Oh, okay…but why did you kill them?

Orpheus: So they couldn't interfere with your choice and force you to choose one of them.

Naruto: Alright, alright. Where do I go?

Orpheus: *magically creates a portal* Through here, you'll be in Mahora Academy, an all girls' school. *smirks* I think I don't have to tell you what that means.

Naruto: *grins* Thank you, man! I don't know how to make it up to you!

Orpheus: Just pick a girl, go out with her, and tell me about it later. There's also a few more worlds with beautiful girls around. Here's the addresses, right on this teleporter. *hands Naruto the teleporter* You can go anywhere with this thing, just press the green button to go forward and the red button to go back between worlds. And don't cause any trouble or steal any guy's girlfriend, okay?

Naruto: No problems there, dude. *walks into portal* See ya!

Orpheus: Later. *turns to viewing public* And that's how I would solve the war. Have a nice day. *disappears*


Note: Before I go, let me make this very clear: I am not in any way anti-Sakura, anti-Hinata, anti-NaruSaku or anti-Naruhina. I just did this to voice my annoyance with this stupid fanwar. If anyone has a problem, well just let it out in the reviews. Even if you don't have any problems, please review. All comments will be taken into consideration.