Birthday Wishes

House, bored from not having a patient all week and dying to stir up some trouble in the hospital, had set a few plans in motion, one of which he was watching unfold as he slurped on a king sized blue slushie in his office. His team was reading over a note he had left in the differential room and he grinned inwardly as he thought of all of the possible outcomes of his little game. He put on his most innocent look as they entered his office, clearly expecting him to give some explanation for the instructions they had found in his message.

"What is this?" Taub asked, holding out the piece of paper in front of House's computer. House looked over it feigning newfound curiosity.

"It looks like a party invitation," he replied after a moment, looking up at his three fellows with wide blue eyes.

"Yeah, we know what it is. What I mean to say is why was it in the differential room?" the short man asked.

"Perhaps because someone wants you to attend," House suggested, trying to keep the smirk from crossing his face. "And also because they knew that you three worked in the differential room."

"It says that it's a birthday surprise for you," Thirteen pointed out.

"Then you've given away the surprise," House told her. "Why did you feel the need to do that? I like surprises."

"It's written in your handwriting," Kutner put in, slightly amused by his boss's antics, as usual. House looked up at him, studying his face.

"I didn't write it. So not only are you wrongly accusing me of throwing myself a surprise party, but you're ruining my birthday…"

"Right. Who else would throw you a party?" Taub asked.

"I don't like your tone," House told him, frowning. "I dunno if I want you to come to my party."

"We could just ask Wilson if it's legit," Thirteen told Taub. "And if he's the one that's giving the party, you're taking the heat for ruining the surprise."

"Go on then, ask away. You've already given away the big secret. I suppose I'll go with you to confirm. And yes, the half-sized hater will take the heat." He stood, grabbing his cane and motioning forward with it. "Shoo…"

He followed the three confused young doctors out of his office and down the hall toward the office of the Head of Oncology. Wilson, fortunately, had agreed to go along with House's plans after much cajoling and confirmed that he was the one throwing a party. "I can't believe that you told him," he chided the fellows.

"Blame the midget. He was the unbeliever," Kutner told him. "I'm personally looking forward to the party."

"Don't forget the gift!" House told the group as he ushered them out into the hall and closed the door. He waited until he was sure that they were busy elsewhere before thanking Wilson. "Thanks…they're going to get the surprise of their lives."

"I hope this is worth all the trouble you're putting into this. Cuddy's not going to be happy," Wilson replied. "You'd better hope that she's in a forgiving kind of mood."

"This is one birthday she won't forget," House smirked.

House arrived at the party of the Dean of Medicine, hosted at the reception hall across town. Wilson was skeptical of his plan, but as House was his best friend, he had informed the three young doctors of what he wanted them to do. They had been reluctant at first, but he had promised them that House would love the surprise they were planning and so eventually they gave in and learned the song that he suggested.

Wilson turned up just after House and told the Head Diagnostician that the plans for Operation Birthday Surprise were in motion. He and House had a few drinks after wishing Cuddy a happy birthday and waited patiently for the cake to be brought out. It was a huge three tiered cake like the ones people put strippers in and was wheeled out to the center of the room where House and Wilson stood on either side of Cuddy.

Without warning three individuals popped out of the cake and began to sing "Wild Thing." Thirteen had on a pirate costume, Taub was dressed in an Elvis outfit, and Kutner donned only a loincloth. They finished their song, all smiling at House as the crowd erupted into cheers and Cuddy turned a spectacular shade of red. "Happy Birthday, House!" the trio announced as one.

"My birthday isn't until June, but I feel happy already!" he roared, doubling over as laughter filled the room. "Welcome to Dr. Cuddy's party!" Cuddy was mortified, as were Thirteen, Kutner and Taub, but everyone else seemed to be having a good time. House knew that extra clinic hours would be coming his way and several attempts at revenge, but it was worth it.