Hanging from the corner of my lips. I suck the life away.
Authors note: Short story, I suppose you would call it, I wrote out of pure boredom. It really has nothing to do with anything. It started off just being a random act of writing, I later added in the Wolf's Rain part for a filler. So if it seems kinda choppy...that's why. But I hope you enjoy it anyway!
Please R&R
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I turn the key and listen to the soft roar of the engine. My foot like lead on the pedal, I take off down the night road. The dark path disappears behind me. And for a instant there is a feeling of excitement that grows under my skin. The wondering. What's beyond me? What's behind me? I wonder. A smile, a laugh, a sigh. I don't know. How could I? I can't see that far and the night is only getting darker. By morning, there will be nothing left.
My mind wanders as the dark road passes silently under the tires. If only you knew what you've done to me, if only you knew. The way you dragged me in, made me feel...needed. No. The way you made me feel wanted. I would have followed you. I would have followed you right to the very end. Right to my last breath. I would have chased the stars with you, cried at the moon with you, until we found home, until we found paradise. Together. Me and you. It was always going to be me and you...until you left.
The road is growing narrower. The street lights are slowly dying away with the life of the city. It would be wise to slow down. I must not be wise, my foot does not let up. I wont let up. I like the feeling I get when I fly down the roads. Windows down. The wind blowing my hair in all directions. I can smell the night and the faintness of an early morning, waiting far off on the horizon. My heart beats faster with the speed of the car. I can feel it pumping my blood through my body. Its making me feel alive. Its making me feel awake when I really just want to sleep. When I really feel like I'm dying inside.
Why did you leave? I've asked myself over and over again. Each time the answer is vague and slurred, just like your words were that night. Do you not love me the way you said you did? You wanted to keep me from harm. From the pain. The hurt. Yet you cause more pain in my heart then any other. Did you not want me to reach paradise with you? Do you not want me by your side? Why? Please, answer me. I begged you, but you never did.
I side glance in the rear view mirrors. The city lights are only a dim glow in the sky now. They have all faded away. The brightness. The loudness. Far, far away. I look into the dark before me. I can't see anything that lays in front of me. I like it like that. The dark. Only the roar of my car to break the silence in the night. Something is right. Solitude perhaps. Quiet. Somewhere I can gather my own thoughts. To gather myself.
I can still see you in my memory. Faded. I see you walking away. You never glanced back at me over your shoulder. Never looked back to see the tears fall from my eyes. You never saw the pain I was in.
I'm almost far enough. Far enough out of sight. I let up on the gas and ease on the breaks. The car slows, along with the excitement that had been fueling my body. My once racing heart is slowly returning to normal. I let my tired car stop now. Tucked away on the side of the road. I pull on the key and let it sleep for now. There's still a long way to go, and I don't think Ill make it. I know I wont.
You told me to stay. I still wonder why I obeyed.
I feel the emptiness sink in. I know I am alone here. The darkness engulfs my body. The quiet. I can hear only the beating of my own heart echoing in my ears. Oh the night. I light a cigar to relax me. The smoke fills the air. Fills my lungs. It dances within me. Dances around me. Beckoning me to join. I want to. But my body wont move. My heart is still. My soul wont dance. I watch the burning ashes as I inhale. The warmth inside the coals looks so comforting. I want to burn inside it. Let it light my spirit on fire. I want to be set a flame. Burn away like there's no tomorrow. Like morning will never come. The light will never take over. Darkness wins.
You're battling. I can sense it somewhere within my soul. Battling what, I can not tell. But you are loosing. You are growing weak. You are injured. You are falling...and I am falling with you. Hard.
I'm beginning to feel the pull of sleep on my body. My dreams want to take over. My body wants to rest. I used to fight this. I used to be afraid. I'm not anymore. I refuse to fight it. I cant. I'm too tired. Too worn down. I'm not afraid. I close my eyes. And inhale another drag. Sleep soul, sleep. Let the dreams wash you away. You don't need to wake. No. Just sleep forever. Morning doesn't have to come. Its to far away on the melting horizon. You can't see it anymore. I keep my eyes shut tight. I don't want to see anymore. I just want to remember. The burning ashes on the end of my cigar. I can see it still so clearly. The way the street lights fled away. The way the city fell behind me. That's what I want to see. That's what I want to remember. Morning doesn't have to come.
You take your last breath filled with frozen air.
I take my last breath filled with burning smoke.
You're soul sleeps.
And my soul sleeps.
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