Boys Will Be Boys!
By Nancy Smith
Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me. I only borrowed them for a little while to write this story. At the end of this story, the characters will be returned to their rightful owners completely unscathed.
Authors Note: A few years ago, I wrote this little spoof based on the New World Zorro episode, Conspiracy Of Blood. Before we had dvds, I had watched on it on one of the tapes that I had bought from a woman(who shall remain anonymous) who had copied all the NW Zorro episodes for me and put them on tape. After watching the episode, I suddenly got this idea to write a spoof on this episode. It had been whirling around in my head, for quite some time, so I finally decided to put it on paper. Mind you, this story is not based on the entire episode, but merely a particular scene that was in the episode itself. Again, this is not a "serious" piece, but a very loose adaptation. And I do mean LOOSE! ;-) I do hope you enjoy reading it all the same.
Gilberto Rosendo and his Man at Arms, Lieutenant Hidalgo, are "firmly ensconced" in the de la Vega hacienda. The scene opens, as we see Gilberto, and Hidalgo just polishing off a decanter of the de la Vega's finest brandy. Gilberto, swigs down the last glass, then looks around. He notices that Felipe, the de la Vega servant boy, is nowhere to be seen.
"Where is that boy!" he grumbles in a condescending tone. Felipe steps through the secret passage and walks past the dinning room. Gilberto turns around and sees Felipe ignoring them. He gets up and walks over to him. He grabs Felipe by the arm, then holds up his brandy glass and demands,
"I want a drink!"
Meanwhile, Zorro is watching this little scene through a peephole in the cave. He shakes his head in disgust.
"Geez! What a jerk!" he said, to himself. [He really didn't say this. I just thought that it was appropriate.]
Gilberto grabs Felipe by the neck, and snarls, "I don't care if you are deaf, you insolent pup! This is a brandy glass! When I hold this up, and it's empty, it means, I want brandy!"
Zorro steps out from the cave. He fills a glass with brandy, then says in a deep stern voice,
"Then you shall definitely have your brandy!"
As Gilberto turns around, Zorro throws the brandy in his face.
"BLAH! Gilberto sputters. He shakes his head, and wipes his face with his hand.
Suddenly, a big fight erupts, as Hidalgo and the guards begin attacking Zorro. Zorro quickly wipes out the guards, and Hidalgo, by knocking them unconscious. Then he and Gilberto, begin dueling.
Tables and chairs are being knocked over, and glass is flying everywhere. The house is being torn to pieces, as the sound of Zorro, and Gilberto clashing swords, fills the air. Gilberto throws a jug at Zorro, and misses. He viciously swings his sword at Zorro, and Zorro, ducks. Two ornate priceless ceramic plates hanging on the wall, break in the process as Gilberto's sword slashes against them.
Total chaos reigns throughout the house. Zorro throws a quick punch to Gilberto's jaw, sending him stumbling backwards, and almost losing his balance. Gilberto takes another swing at Zorro with his blade, and misses. [Author's interpretation.] Zorro laughs at Gilberto.
"HA! Geeze Gilberto! You can't swordfight, worth a damn!"
Gilberto becomes even more enraged, and throws another plate at Zorro. Zorro ducks again, and laughs.
"HA! Missed again, Gilberto! Here, let me show you how it's done!" he remarks with a sneer. He draws back, and lands another forceful punch against Gilberto's jaw.
Meanwhile, Felipe is literally going wild with excitement; jumping up and down, clapping his hands. Zorro turns, and salutes. Suddenly, Gilberto rallies. He takes advantage of the situation, and slams a silver serving tray across the back of Zorro's head. Zorro briefly stumbles. Felipe picks up a priceless ceramic vase, and hurls it at Gilberto, and barely misses him. The vase crashes to the floor in a million, pieces.
"Why you little…" Gilberto snarls. He races toward Felipe with his sword.
Zorro quickly lashes out his whip, and wraps it around Gilberto's neck, then gives his whip a sharp jerk.
"AAAKKK!" Gilberto stumbles backwards. Zorro picks up another priceless vase, and smashes it over Gilberto's head. Felipe claps again, and smiles.
Suddenly, the front door of the hacienda slams. Felipe's face turns pale, and his mouth drops open, as he sees a very red-faced angry Alejandro, standing in the Library, glaring at the two men, and Felipe. Gilberto and Zorro, seeing Felipe's expression, snap their heads around, and look at Alejandro in shock.
"WHAT'S THE MEANING, OF THIS!" Alejandro bellowed, as he assessed the damage.
Gilberto and Zorro looked at one another, and gulped. They finally gather their wits about them, and point to one another.
"HE STARTED IT!" they said, in unison. Felipe shakes his head innocently, and shrugs.
Alejandro puts his hands on his hips, and stares angrily at Gilberto, and Zorro.
"I don't CARE who started it! How many TIMES have I TOLD YOU BOYS, NO FIGHTING, IN THE HOUSE!"
Gilberto and Zorro look at Alejandro apologetically. "But father…" Gilberto pleaded.
Alejandro looked at Gilberto angry. "Don't BUT FATHER, me! I want you and Diego to give me those swords, and clean this mess up, RIGHT NOW, or I'm going to start cracking some heads together! Is that understood?!" he growled.
Diego started to speak, but Alejandro cut him off.
"I MEAN IT, DIEGO!" he replied with a stern look.
Diego and Gilberto handed their swords to Alejandro, and begin cleaning up their mess. Alejandro glared at the two men with anger in his eyes.
"And when you're finished, I want you both to go to your rooms, and stay there for the rest of the day! And don't think about sneaking out the windows. I'm posting guards outside your bedroom windows just to make sure that you don't leave," he stated in a firm fatherly tone.
"AWWW DAD!" They both said, obviously put out.
Alejandro shook his finger at his boys. "This is the LAST STRAW! You have completely destroyed this house. And tomorrow, I'm giving Miguel and Juan the day off, and you two are going to clean out the stables! Maybe that will teach you two a lesson!"
Gilberto looked at Diego and snarled. "This is all your fault, Diego!"
"My FAULT?! You're the one who was picking on Felipe!" replied Diego in rebuttal.
"Quiet, you two! I don't care whose fault it is! You both broke the rules! Now hurry up and clean this mess up! Felipe and I are going to the tavern. I want this place SPIC and SPAN when we get back! Is that clear?" their father grumbled.
Diego and Gilberto nodded.
"Oh yes, I'm going to have Maria stand here and make sure that you boys do a good job! She's going to give me a full report. Right, Maria?" he asked his devoted, and long-time housekeeper.
Maria gave the two young men a stern look, as she glared at Diego, and Gilberto with her hands on her hips.
Diego and Gilberto frowned.
When the guards and Lieutenant Hidalgo came to, Alejandro instructed them to stand guard outside Diego's and Gilberto's bedroom window. They quickly obeyed, and marched out the door. Alejandro put his hand on Felipe's shoulder.
"Come on, Felipe. Let's go to the tavern. Suddenly, I feel like having a cool glass of Victoria's lemonade. How about you?" he smiled.
Felipe nodded, and smiled.
Alejandro gave the two men one last glare, then he and Felipe left the hacienda, and headed toward town to Victoria's tavern.
ZZZZZZZZZZZ
And so dear readers, as Alejandro and Felipe ride off to the tavern, we leave our two "heroes" to their, "domestic duties." Hopefully, they have learned their lesson, and in the future, settle their differences in a less "violent" manner. After all, differences can never be settled through violence. Diplomacy, is the best policy!
[Author, slightly blinks.] Oh excuse me! Sometimes I tend to get a little, philosophical. Well, ¡adiós! amigas, and amigos! Until next time! Thanks for reading this!
La Fin!
