Disclaimer: I own everything! Yippee, unless of course any character resembles any real person.

Notes: The story told through dialogue, there is no narrative. It could be confusing, but I hope that I've given each character enough personality to distinguish them.

It's a Frog's Life


Previously called 'Reality of Changes and Changes of Reality'

"Has anyone ever come into your life and completely changed your whole world? And I mean completely! From how you view the world to how the world views you. Now, has anyone ever changed all of this without you wanting it?

Well it happened to me, and I really don't recommend it! Trust me. If you see someone like that: run! Run and hide, because if they find you, it's over.

You don't believe me, do you? That figures, nobody does.

My life used to be great. My career was starting to take off, I'd starred in some commercials and people would wave or say 'hi' when I walked down the street. Now though, girls faint when they see me, or maybe swoon is a better word, either way they lose consciousness and their boyfriends glare at me.

Do you want to know how all of this happened? Okay then, well, one day I was sitting in the park looking over the script for my next commercial. The day was like something out of a fairy tale. The sun was warm and cast early morning shadows over the lush grass, the cerulean sky had fluffy white clouds drifting across it and birds were chirping happily to each other. Life was perfect! Something had to go wrong, and it did. Badly.

This teenager runs over to me, looking like Christmas had come early and dressed like Halloween, or at least I think she was 'dressed up' because really, what teenage girl wears a medieval princess gown complete with corset and pointy hat on a normal day! You know the hat I mean, cone-shaped thing with fabric trailing from the top? Yeah, that one. So anyway, this girl comes sprinting up to me, it was actually pretty impressive seeing as how she was all corseted up, and she kisses me!!

That's right. She kisses me, not so much as a 'how do you do' or a 'by-your-leave.' That's all it took: BANG! And my career was gone!

Bye bye Motilium contract and hello bumbling teenage girls drooling all over me! It's not fair! How…how can someone get away with ruining my life?"

"That's right Todd let it all out. We feel your pain and I for one certainly want to find out why these, erm…dreadful changes were forced upon you. Don't you agree ladies and gent…well, ladies? Alright, we'll be back after the break and we'll have more special guests. See you then."

• • • • • • •

"Okay, hi, welcome back. Now, we've got another guest for you. It took us quite a while to find her, so, without any further ado, may I present Nicola Thomas. So Nicola how are y..."

"That's her! That's the one who, who did...this to me! How could you bring her here?!"

"We brought her here to let her explain her actions. And let me tell you, this will be very interesting. Now, Nicola what happened that day in the park?"

"Eh, okay. Well it was a pretty average Saturday morning, I was walking through the park with Cassie, my best friend, I mean I've known her, like, forever! We grew up basically as sisters and..."

"That's nice. What were you saying about the day in the park?"

"What? Oh, that right! Well, as I was saying, we were in the park and we saw a frog. Seeing as how we're interested in fairytales, Cassie double dared me to kiss him, so I did. I didn't really expect everything to happen like it did. But I was the one to turn you into a prince, so will you marry me now?"

"Everybody calm down! No marriage proposals for now, okay? Nicola I'm curious though, do you regularly go round wearing medieval costumes?"

"No. Of course not. I only wear them on weekends."

"Disturbed kid."

"Do you have something to add Todd?"

"Who me? No, nothing at all!"

"Alright then. Nicola what did you think when you saw the result of your kiss?"

"Oh my freakin' God! I mean like, it was the most amazing experience of my life! Like, one minute I was standing there with a frog and then BAM! There was this 6 foot blond god. I nearly fainted!"

"And then what happened?"

"Well, he looked shocked of course, turning from a frog into perfection, who wouldn't be. Also I'm sure everything looked different from his new height. But instead of professing his undying love for me and asking for my hand in marriage, he runs away! I mean, how rude is that!"

"Rude? You were the rude one! You didn't ask me if I wanted to be kissed or changed into this gaudy monstrosity. I was happy the way I was."

"You were happy as a frog? Oh please, how silly is that! I turned you into every girl's dream and made you the envy of every guy. I did you a big favour pal!"

"Well how I would love to repay that favour! How would you like it if someone completely changed your life without your permission?"

"If they made me as gorgeous as I made you then I wouldn't have any complaints."

"Well, lets look at things differently, what if they changed you into a frog."

"Eww, how could you say that! That would be the most disgusting thing and …eugh."

"I'm glad you're seeing things from my point of view."

"Okay, now that that seems to be sorted, how about some question from the audience? Let's start with the girl in the red in the front row."

"Hi, I'm Emma. I'd like to know if Todd would like to make me his princess."

"NO!"

"But why not?"

"Because I am already the equivalent of married, thank you very much."

"Who is she? Is she prettier than me?"

"Very much so. She's about 5 feet smaller than you, green, has wonderful big eyes and a marvellous aim."

"Aim?"

"For flies…you know, with her tongue?"

"…I think I'm going to be sick."

"Well…eh, thank you Emma for your question. That'll be enough for the time being. And now…"

"You mean you were like, married or whatever frogs do?"

"Yes. Before you messed everything up, I did have a mate, Polly, and she had just spawned..."

"Oh God, too much information! Bad mental image."

"…And I'll never see my little tadpoles swim for the first time, grow their arms and legs, learn how to catch flies properly. I just…I don't know what to do anymore."

"Oh. Apart from the whole fly thing, that's a sad story. You mean like, you'll never see your family again because of me?"

"Never!"

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry for ruining your life, I never, like, really thought anything would happen, but then when it did I thought that you'd be happier like this. I'm sorry."

"Alright. Well, that's all we have time for. Thanks to Miss Thomas, Mr. Newton and all of our other guests. We'll be back tomorrow with more scandals, interviews and prizes to win. Bye."

"Oh, cheer up Todd! At least France is a viable holiday destination for you now."

A/N: Well, thank you for reading. (There were three characters, just in case you were wondering.)