Kevin Price was perfect. His mother and father, despite having four other children were never ashamed when declaring Kevin was their favorite. He knew The Book of Mormon and all it's scripture forward and backward by the time he was fifteen, and by seventeen he was the unofficial head of their group of elders. His hair was always the quintessence of perfection, as every Mormon boy's should be. He never swore, never lied, and didn't even know what coffee smelled like. When it came to girls Kevin was sure to voice his opinion on who he found more "attractive," even if it was to please his friends and parents. Kevin was always the first to volunteer for any kind of work, be it physical or charitable. He worked at the local shelter, and with his vocal skills he managed to get all but three puppies adopted. Whenever an elderly neighbor was in need of assistance Kevin was always the one there, even if it was something as menial as fixing a door or moving a dresser. For the sake of Heavenly Father he was nearly a pint away from being a gallon club member at the age of nineteen.

Kevin knew exactly what everyone thought about him and he ate it up, but being the Mormon poster boy was not all it was cracked up to be. He had to juggle school, family life, mission center studies, church duties, and charity work. Not to mention his youngest brother was definitely a pain in the you know what nearly 24/7. Sometimes Kevin just wanted to yell. Loudly at him, and retreat to his room to think or read The Book, but that would never happen. Not when everyone had such high expectations of such a perfect boy. All of this with the brightest countenance he could muster, even if by the time he got home all he really wanted to do was pass out into sweet oblivion on his king sized bed.

Nonetheless Kevin knew he was special, the whole town practically threw that fact into his face everyday. He also knew that he couldn't really prove his true worth to Heavenly Father until he went on his mission, which just so happened to be tomorrow. Well not really tomorrow, only the assignment of companions and countries was tomorrow. Still it was enough to keep him up significantly later than eight, mulling over all the possibilities. He made sure to pray every night to be sent to what Kevin deemed the best place in all of existence. Orlando. He didn't care if it was childish that a nineteen year old man loved Disney and Seaworld. That was the place were he felt happiest. Every time he smiled in Orlando all those years ago it was genuine. He knew the only way Heavenly Father would listen to his prayers was if he never let anyone down; if he was the best.

Kevin smiled at that last thought. He was the best. Finally able to rest he quickly utters one more prayer, a silent thank you sent with it as well.


Arnold Cunningham was a mistake. His parents made sure to let him know this the minute he could understand what a bastard child was, although he had never said the word again upon finding out it was in deed a swear. They were born again Mormons, but Arnold was thrust into the faith and took to it about as naturally as a snake to snow. Arnold was not a bad person, he was however different than the rest of the children in Salt Lake City.

Apparently knowledge of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings was not what made you cool, rather being able to recite scripture verbatim was "what was hot," (according to the "So You're A Mormon" introduction video from the 80s). Still Arnold tried; he tried for his dad and he tried for the sake of having friends, but his efforts were never enough. He was often the victim of childish mischief, although how rascally can a bunch of Mormon boys be? Apparently hiding his books and stealing his R2D2 action figure, Arnold doubted they even knew what that was, was not considered cruelty in their faith. Not to mention their creative insults, seeing as swearing was a no-no. Arnold knew he was a few extra pounds, he did not need that information relayed back to him every time he tried to eat lunch (which ended up with him hiding in the school's auditorium, reading the latest edition of Batman or pretending he was some sort of warrior. Arnold grew up with books and television shows for company.

The person he prayed most for as a companion was what Arnold imagined the perfect son to be, after all his father asked time and time again, "Why can't you be more like that Price boy?" Arnold knew that no matter how hard he tried there was no way he was ever even going to resemble the excellence that was Kevin Price, but if he was stuck with him for 2 years then maybe some of that special something would rub off on him. He saw him in school. A+ student, athletic, fit, and social to a ridiculous degree. He was always smiling, and always surrounded by people. The girls loved him, and as much as Arnold tried to demystify the opposite gender it always ended up with the girl threatening to file a sexual harassment lawsuit. Whatever that meant.

Arnold had no trouble sleeping the night before assignments, he knew Heavenly Father would listen to him, even if it was just this one time.


Kevin wasn't nervous, why should he be? He was simply combing his hair for the fifth time and fiddling with his name tag for no reason. It just wouldn't stay straight is all, not nervous. Sure he hadn't eaten, but that was pure excitement right there. He was confident, and was that a speck of lint on his shirt? It was nearly time, in fact he better get going. Right after he retied his tie.

Arnold was sleeping when he heard his father shout and bang on his door. Through the haze he made out the words "late, get up," and "disappointment." Arnold was too tired to feel anything other than obligation as he rushed out the door, shirt untucked and hair a nest of dark twigs, curling loosely.


Kevin's hands are wringing and his feet refuse to be still. He was next.

Arnold stood watching the others smile at their companions. He couldn't wait to see who would smile at him like that.

"Elder Price!" When the mission leader called for him Kevin all but flew from his post. He couldn't even speak, only nod. "Your mission companion is Elder Cunningham," Elder Price froze. He looked to the ecstatic boy. Unruly hair, sloppy presentation, and a lack of volume control. Everyone knew he was the worst Mormon in the city. Maybe even in the history of the church was Kevin's suspicion and know he was to be paired off with him. For two years. Kevin's right eye twitched as Elder Cunningham took his place next to him.

"I prayed every night to Heavenly Father to be assigned you," Kevin flinched at the loudness of the words, or was it the irony? He couldn't be sure.

"And your mission will be in," Kevin held his breath. Surely if Elder Cunningham got his prayers granted then Heavenly Father would have no problem providing him with the best place on Earth as a mission location. Arnold wasn't even paying attention, too busy thinking about all the fun he and Elder Price would have together.

"Uganda."

Kevin thought maybe he heard wrong. That maybe he was in some sort of sub type Hell Dream. Uganda. That didn't even sound fun.

"Cool! Uh," Arnold scratched his head, "Where is that?"

"Africa," the mission leader looked irritated by the question. Arnold had to come up with something to look like he knew what he was talking about. They studied Africa in film study, he was sure.

"Oh, like in the Lion King!" Kevin turned to look at the shorter boy. He nearly broke down right then. He was stuck with this "Mormon" for two years. In Uganda.

While packing their bags later that night there was one thing both boys knew, this was going to be one Hell of a time.