Castlevania: Curse of Darkness: My Adventure

Chapter I: Uno y Dos

-The air is thick and foggy. A tall and menacing castle stands… menacingly before our 'hero.' Isaac appears in front of the door of the abandoned castle. His orange hair and interesting attire are so not the 15th century.

Isaac: Muahahahahaha!

Hector: Isaac!

Isaac: MUAHAHAHAA!

Hector: Isaac!

Isaac: What? Oh, sorry, I was remembering something funny from earlier. What was I saying? Ah yes, I killed your woman and now you are weak and AHAHAAHAAA!

Hector: The rivers will run red with your blood Isaac! You shall rue the day!

Isaac: Oh I will, will I?

Hector: RUUUUUUUE!

Isaac: Interesting, seeing as you have given up all your powers in betraying DRACULA™! Why don't you come back when you have a chance, eh?

Hector: I could kill you now!

Isaac: Oh honestly! Don't you see this huge demon beast next to me! You really think that is a good idea Hector. Oh how I pity thee… mmmm…

Hector: What is that demon?

Isaac: Oh now you ask? I swear it's like pulling teeth with you, Hector. You don't notice my new innocent devil, you don't notice I got a new haircut or I dyed my hair a new shade of—

Hector: ISSAC!

Isaac: Don't raise your voice at me! It's an innocent devil, you are a devil forge master like me, we are the only two who posses such power. Now, I was supposed to exit a long time ago so … MUAHAHAHAAHHHA! HAHAHAHAA!

-Issac continues to laugh as he walks down the hall with his innocent devil at his side. Hector stands below the steps filled with anger as a subtitle appears with the words Abandoned Castle. Hector ignores the message as it fades out and continues up the steps.

Hector: Where did all of this music come from? Is that a zombie? What in God's name is going on here?

-With shitty short sword in hand, he charges forward and knocks the shit out some skeletons and stuff finding Bronze. Lots and lots of Bronze. And then some more bronze. After running around for a while and killing stuff, Hector runs into a treasure chest. Made of bronze perhaps?

Hector: Well, that is random and convenient. Lemme see. (whack!) Um, okay. (whack) Well, this is rather pointless.

-10 minutes later

Hector: Who does this! Honestly, I'm leaving.

-Eventually, he runs into a crazy green door that holds inside it a crazy green fairy.

Hector: Um, hi. My name is Sir Hector of… well, I'm Hector. And you are?

ID:….

Hector: Ah. So I must name you.

ID:…

Hector: Alright. Can you stop wiggling? I can't think of a name.

ID:…feee!

Hector: Okay… I see. You like that, eh? Well, your name can be Fee-Wiggle.

Fee-Wiggle: oooo!

Hector: Do you speak English?

Fee-Wiggle: Eeeheee!

Hector: Right…. So what do you do?

(poof!)

Hector: Did the number 20 just pop out of my head? That's what you do? You make numbers pop out of my head? Well, I'm sure that will come in handy. Come, Fee-Wiggle!

Fee-Wiggle: Weeee!

-So the pair continue.

Hector: My god! These treasure chests! Why are they here!

Fee-Wiggle: Fweee! (poof)

Hector: Oh. Well, thank you I guess.

-Well, Hector collects lots of materials and fashions himself a cheap knock off of a rapier made of aluminum foil.

Hector: I'll call it a Foil!

-Nice one. So any way, they run into this HUGE thing… it's a cursed suit of armor gone crazy.

Hector: I'll call it Crazy Armor.

-After the battle is won… a glowing circle of blue begins to emanate from the ground. Hectors stands in it and is revived completely.

Hector: That worked better than your number 20's….

-And on they travel to the Baljhet Mountains by way of crazy gondola ride.

Hector: My god this music is annoying. I better get something good out of this place.

-And indeed he did, in another green room there was another innocent devil for him to forge. the last one with a cinema too!

Hector: My name is Hector and this is Fee-Wiggle— Where is Fee-Wiggle! My god, you killed it you massive demon creature!

ID: Que?

Hector: What? Um… I don't speak Spanish.

ID: No halba ingles.

Hector: This is great. Okay, um… hmmm… Donde esta?

ID: (confused) Aqui….

Hector: Okay… umm… 'Tu' come with-a me. Okay?

ID: Come? Que quieres desayunar?

Hector: Whoa… is that your name or something? Desayuno? Okay, Desayuno! Let's go!

Desayuno???

-After 30 minutes with a Spanish to English dictionary.

Hector: So what you are saying is that I just named you 'Breakfast'?

Desayuno: Si.

Hector: Perdoname.

Desayuno: Is okay.

Hector: Desayuno, vamos!