Summary: when the CSI's wake up Catherine's house in unusual positions with a hang over, they use their CSI skills to find out how they got there.
A/N haven't written a comedy fro a bit so give me chance to get going. Also thanks to Robyn for beta-ing
Catherine Willows never realised how noisy her fridge was. It's humming was forcing her to open her eyes, despite feeling like her was about to split open and spill her brain across the floor. Cracking her eyes open she was surprised to find Warrick's face inches from hers. She would have shouted or moved away but she was too hungover to do either. Turning her head slightly she nudged Warrick who protested elbowing Catherine in the face
"Warrick" hissed the female CSI sitting up to see Nick lying under her rug. He appeared to be naked. "Nick!" squawked Catherine regretting it as her high-pitched voice rang around her brain.
"What?" Warrick was now sat up stretching trying to knock the fuzziness out his brain. "Nick man," said Warrick as Nick stirred slightly confused as to why he was naked under a rug.
"I'm naked," mumbled Nick his own voice hurting his head.
Down the hallway someone else was stirring; Sara Sidle was coming around with a particularly bad hangover. She was however warm in her bed, well she thought she was. Opening her eyes she realised it wasn't her bedroom and there were two warm things next to her.
"Argh!" Sara shot bolt up right screaming. Suddenly two other figures shot up surprised by the rude awakening. There was moment of calm as Gil Grissom turned to face Sara who he was next to, on the other side of her Greg Sanders turned to face Sara as well.
"Argh!" cried three voices.
Catherine and Warrick did their best to run down the hall to the screaming as fast as their legs would carry them while Nick struggled to wrap his rug around himself and run after them. Catherine, Warrick and Nick appeared in the doorway of Catherine's bedroom looking just as hungover and confused as the three people, thankfully, fully dressed in the bed.
Ten minutes later and after Nick had found his clothes the group all sat in the front room nursing glasses of water and aspirin.
"Girl you look like a crime scene," announced Warrick looking at Sara. She was curled up on the sofa with an ice pack pressed up against her face. Her nose and lip were swollen slightly and her top was covered in blood splatter. "Want me to do a DNA test to confirm you didn't attack anyone?" smiled Warrick getting the evil eye from Sara.
"For all we know she may be the attacked." pointed out Nick concerned.
"I'd remember that," said Sara moving the ice pack to show the blue area forming on the right side of her face. "You know, I think I might have a chipped tooth," she added pulling a strange expression as she felt it with her tongue.
"So does anyone remember getting here?" asked Nick tensely pulling at his top.
"No." came the groan of a reply.
"Hey Sara, your phone." Greg handed her her phone from the floor that was flashing nine missed calls. She clicked at a few buttons before dropping it on the phone and hanging her head in her hands.
"Please tell me I didn't commit professional suicide," she moaned. There was a moment then everyone chimed in, "Oh."
Yesterday evening
A CSI just finishing a triple was not someone to be argued with but apparently Sofia Curtis thought differently. She had just released a suspect everyone was certain was guilty but couldn't prove and Sara was not having it.
"Sofia, he'll go back and beat her," shouted Sara.
"Well, get some proof of that and I'll go and arrest him. You now the drill Sara," said Sofia not shouting but her anger clearly rising.
"Sara, calm down," Catherine was doing her best to placate the brunette.
"Me? Calm down? She shouldn't even be near him. She can't be impartial. She slept with him," shouted Sara making Catherine wince.
"You slept with him?" Catherine asked Sofia.
"Three years ago. Once," shouted Sofia in her defence.
Suddenly Ecklie's voice rang out, "Sidle! My office. Now!"
Catherine knew what came next. Sara was in no mood for Ecklie and she was going to blow up at him and wind up getting suspended again.
"No," said Sara simply. Looking angrily at Ecklie.
"Sara," Catherine put an arm on her shoulder as Nick came in wondering what was going on.
"No if that was me I would be off the case. Instead she lets him go back to abuse his girlfriend," Sara had pulled away from Catherine and was now looking like she might take a swing at Sofia or Ecklie. "She was so terrified she tried to drown herself."
"She was depressed," barked Sofia
"You would be too if you were someone's punching bag." This time Catherine grabbed Sara as she stepped towards Sofia.
"Office! Now!" bellowed Ecklie.
"You know what? Screw you. She's not my superior. She's not even a CSI any more.," roared Sara storming by everyone and out the lab leaving Ecklie, Catherine, Nick and Grissom, who had just walked in, stunned.
"When she comes back? Tell her to collect her things," said Ecklie simply with a hint of a smile.
"No," Catherine's voice sounded slightly unnerved but her face showed resolve.
"She's right, we know he was abusing her. He had parking tickets, Sofia could have kept him for the night but she didn't and she's not a CSI anymore or her superior."
"I am," said Ecklie sternly. "And 'screw you' is no way to address your boss."
"You can't fire her for that," said Grissom his voice calm.
"No, but with her file I can." Answered Ecklie happiness evident in his voice.
"If you bring up half the things in that file we'll deny them," said Catherine her face now like thunder. "I will deny all knowledge of Sara talking to me inappropriately and it will look like you're harassing her."
Ecklie was completely taken of guard. "If you dealt with it properly Gil…" Started Ecklie.
"I took my action," said Grissom stepping forward next to Nick.
"And if you try and fire her we know the best lawyers," added Nick.
"You've met my dad Sam, right?" asked Catherine in a threatening tone and turning to leave. Ecklie didn't know what to say because he knew he had lost this fight.
"Oh god," Catherine sounded like she was about to start hyperventilating as she Nick and Grissom walked out the room.
"Hey, I was going to ask why Sara just ran me and Greg down in tears but now I want to ask why you're beetroot," said Warrick catching them in the hall as Greg chased after him breathlessly.
"I lost her. She can move fast," said Greg in between gaps.
"I think I just told Ecklie where to go," said Catherine the redness disappearing from her face. "And it was fun," she added turning to Grissom surprised at how he had acted.
"And Sara said screw you to him." added Nick.
"Lets go find her," said Grissom not wanting to be questioned on his actions.
They eventually found her sitting on the garage floor next to her Tahoe wiping frantically at her red face. From her attempt to hide her tears she had just wet her entire face making it blotchy and more noticeable.
"Drink," Catherine offered bending down and putting a hand on her back.
TBC …………..
This might take a while to update at first but once I've finished my other fic vacation I'll get going on this.
