a/n: this is what i do when hurricane sandy strikes my city. i break my own heart.
When she fell in love with him, she did not think about the consequences.
Because Clove had always been told to do the action now, and think about it later; and that had always worked until then.
Cato was beautiful-not just attractive, like some of the other boys in the district, but he was truly beautiful.
Clove always thought that he might have a beautiful personality, too, if he tried, but after a while she told herself that she didn't know anything about beautiful personalities, so she should just stop fucking judging and let her life play out the way it was supposed to.
She often dreamed about her life after the Games-she would come home, victorious, and she and Cato would live a happy life together in District 2, their names in lights and their hearts belonging to one another.
She could never tell anyone about this, never, because true love just didn't happen in the most robotic district. Lives didn't matter and individuals didn't matter, unless, of course, you won your Games.
So when she falls in love with him, she's not thinking about everything and anything that could go wrong.
She just wants something to go right for once.
But when you grow up in a district like that, with rules and expectations already set for you, it's a miracle Clove had any emotions at all.
The fateful day arrived, clear as day, the sun shining and reflecting off all the metal in their district and Clove was happy, because it was the first step in her plan.
The consequences came hard and fast, and as soon as his name was called for the boys, she wanted to faint right there on the stage.
But of course she couldn't, because that would be weakness and ever since the morning had begun, Clove had cancelled out all emotions and put her game face on.
When they shook hands, she finally thought of the consequences.
She bit her lip on the train and sat in solitude for hours as Cato shoveled meat into his mouth, getting prepared.
The first conversation the two of them actually had began with her criticizing his fighting techniques because she didn't know what else to say.
An hour later, he was telling her about his little sister, Abigail, and she was talking to him about her dog.
Two hours later, they were lying together in his bed, satisfied, but inside Clove knew that she was setting herself up even worse.
The first night in the capitol their rooms were right next to each other, and although they did fuck shamelessly, they also just talked for a while. About anything. About everything.
And she knew that what she was doing was wrong, but when she was with someone this beautiful, she couldn't stop.
The first day in training was shocking for Clove. Cato barely glanced at her, but when he did, it was with the look of a teammate; not a lover, and most certainly not a friend.
So she gritted her teeth and tied her hair even tighter and hit every one of her bulls-eyes right in the middle.
At dinner that night, she didn't dare talk to him. They eyed each other across the table, but that night again, she couldn't help but sneak into his room again.
It continued like this up until the night before the Games.
This time, Cato was the one knocking on her door, and they just lay there together, hearing the cheers of the Capitol citizens and holding each other as tightly as they could because they knew that this was the last show of affection they would ever get together.
As the Games progressed, slowly the idea of a beautiful personality whittled down until Clove wasn't sure that she even knew the monster in front of her anymore. Especially not when he allowed Marvel to kill the little twelve-year-old.
But when the rule change was announced, he grabbed her and she grabbed him and they knew that they would have many more shows of affection and slowly she remembered why she always believed he had a beautiful personality.
And Clove tried to forget about the looming consequences that still wouldn't stop going through her mind, even though she thought she might be safe from them.
They had a fight right before the feast, and as soon as he agreed to let her go by herself, she stalked off angrily because of course she could handle it, and if he thought that she wasn't strong enough, fuck him, because nothing, nothing was going to change her dream of the future.
If she had known what would happen after they said goodbye, she wouldn't have stomped off like that.
He finds her in the field by the Cornucopia, and her first thought is how embarrassed she is that she couldn't say goodbye to the only person she knew with a beautiful soul properly.
Cato holds her hand and vows for revenge, but at that point, she doesn't care.
Clove just wants to spend the rest of her life with him.
And she does.
Right before she dies, she tells herself that maybe it would have been different if she had looked ahead.
Because when she fell in love with him, she didn't think of the consequences.
review? xo
