Edited 5/17/2019
No Graffiti at Hogwarts
In a castle like Hogwarts you had to be on your guard. You could hear things and see things that would make you do a double take. Lily had come from a Muggle family and until she met Severus Snape she had no idea that magic was real. She always wondered in the back of her mind if it was just a great story that he had made up. Now she was so used to strange things coming through walls she didn't even start.
Lily remembered the first time she had seen the paintings move. It was her first day at the Wizarding School and she was tired beyond anything she had ever felt before from the events of the day. When she saw a nurse in a painting move from bed to bed attending patients she thought she was just really tired. It wasn't until another Muggle-born student commented on it that she really took a good look.
Now Lily Evans was in her seventh year at Hogwarts and she was still hearing things. She could comfort herself by saying that at least she wasn't seeing things she supposed. She was however, hearing her boyfriend.
Oh good, she was going crazy.
She knew that the stress from N.E.W.T level exams got to people, but so far she had stayed cool under the pressure. She thought she was alone in this hallway, but now she was sure she heard something. She heard it again. She figured he must be with the rest of his idiot posse. She took a deep breath and held really still; she knew she heard something.
"Shut up Mooney!"
"You are standing on my foot!"
"If he is standing on you…then who is standing on me?"
"Whose butt is on me? This is horrible. I'm returning to the room!"
"Shhhhhh," James hissed, "Someone is in the next hall."
"James?," Lily whispered.
"Awww…Prongs, you idiot. It's your girlfriend," she heard Sirius say.
"Make her go away," she heard from Peter.
"How will he do that?" asked Remus. She was always under the impression that Remus was the sensible, level-headed one. She must be wrong.
That was enough of that. James was out with the four yahoos he loved to spend all of his time with, which was all of the time when they weren't together. Really, she thought, they did spend a lot of time together.
"All of you get out from under there now! I know you are here. You should have been quieter. I know you have James' invisibility thingy. " Lily called, not really knowing their exact location.
"James you idiot! You told her about the cloak. You can't tell her things like that. What if you break up then she knows our secret?" Sirius complained.
"I tell Lily everything because we aren't going to break up you idiot," James nearly yelled.
"But it's our Batmobile," Sirius whined.
"Our what?" she heard Peter ask.
"It's from a Muggle Cartoon. A Muggle kid's cartoon. I don't know how Sirius even knows about it," she heard Remus explain.
"OUT," Lily said in her most authoritative voice.
Remus was the first to emerge looking slightly disheveled, followed by a sheepish James, and a clearly delighted Peter.
They were one fool short.
"Sirius, I have food!" Lily said and he popped out
"Why didn't you say so Lilykins? I'm starving."
Lily rolled her eyes, he was so predictable. "I know, that is why I mentioned the food."
"Why do you say the invisibility thingy? It sounds stupid." Sirius asked filling his mouth with the tarts Lily had nicked from the kitchen for her late night study session.
Of all of James' friends, Sirius was the hardest for Lily to learn to like. When they started dating Lily already knew and liked Remus. They had been prefects together and got along fairly well. She thought he was a little too serious, but that was for him to decide. He was always in the top of his class and she knew he would be an excellent teacher one day, which was his ambition. Peter was just really awkward. He had never had a father figure and she decided that is why he was so odd in social situations, or really anytime a girl tried to talk to him. Who knows, maybe he wasn't awkward when Lily wasn't around.
Sirius, however, was the Achilles heal of the group. James loved him like a brother, something Lily couldn't understand, as he was always getting James into trouble. James told her over and over again how lovable, wonderful, and loyal he was, but she just didn't see it. All the other girls loved him. And she did mean ALL. THE. OTHER. GIRLS. It was crazy that he had such a dedicated harem following him around. He never seemed to notice. If it was anyone else she would just think that he was modest, however she knew better. She even asked James about him not noticing his fan club. James hadn't noticed either. She finally just asked if Sirius played for the "other team". James assured her Sirius was snogging lots of girls, which was after he stopped laughing. She was trying to start calling him Padfoot, which James wanted, but idiot kept popping out of her mouth instead.
Back to the present and jolted out of her thoughts by Sirius licking jam from his fingers, she responded to his question.
"The reasoning behind my calling it the invisibility thingy is that he will not let me use it. It bothers him and not being able to use it bothers me," she knew it sounded stupid.
"Where are you all going anyway? It's really late." She eyed them questionably. She looked at all of them and figured that Remus would be most likely to break. She stared him down.
Yep she could see it in his eyes, he would crumble like week old chocolate cake.
"Well, Lily," he started looking at his friends. James was looking at his shoes, Peter was grinning like an idiot, and Sirius was eating. "We were just out for a midnight stroll when Sirius had the idea to graffiti some of the suits of armor." He was shooting killing glares at Sirius.
Lily looked at the nearest suit of armor and did not see anything amiss. She turned to look at the boys.
"The problem is that we aren't the first to try. When you write on them, they write on you," James said.
"What do you mean? I don't see anything," Lily said.
Peter started to peel of his shirt. He had the words "Slytherin Stinks" written on his pudgy torso. Lily tried to hold her laughter inside.
"Remus?" she asked. He pulled up his shirt to show her "Gryffindors Are Brave and Fearless" on his upper half. Lily snorted a small laugh. His at least was much better than Pete's new markings.
"James?" she asked. He refused to show her and looked at his shoes. Sirius pulled his shirt up over his head, where the words "James Potter is the best at Hogwarts" were written. Now she couldn't help it. She had to laugh at least a little. His over inflated ego was now clearly displayed on his torso.
"Well that leaves me as the silver medal student doesn't it?" she asked smiling at James. He smiled in return. She turned to Sirius and "Do I even want to know what you have?"
He gave her a big stupid grin and pulled up his shirt.
Lily burst out laughing.
His torso said, "Siris is Super Sexy!"
"You spelled your own name wrong Padfoot," she said through the laughter. "What a horrible prank. I hope it's hard to remove and you're stuck with it for a long while. It would serve you right."
It didn't come off for almost a month.
At least during all that time the guys managed to keep their shirts on in the common room. That wasn't always a normal occurrence.
