This was wicked fun to write. There's never enough Kratos/Yuan interaction for me. And I don't necessarily mean Kruan.
Kruan would be nice if everyone would stop making Yuan such a wuss. But that's a different story. This story sort of took off on its own, and it makes me smile, so I thought I'd share it. There's a little OoC, and a little stretching of things, but it's all in good fun.
0o0
"You."
Kratos looked down from the stars to let his gaze settle on his former comrade.
"Hmph.". He crossed his arms and looked back up to the sky.
"Well?" Yuan prompted, walking closer and fixing his gaze into the side of Kratos' head. There was a moment of silence, and Kratos sighed, meeting Yuan's eyes.
"What?" He asked gruffly, wondering what could possibly bring Yuan here.
"You were going to leave without saying goodbye?" Yuan said, now looking to the sky himself, as if searching for something. It was now Kratos' turn to stare at the side of Yuan's head.
"Goodbye," Kratos said, softly, turning to go. Yuan placed a hand on his shoulder. Kratos turned to face Yuan, who was smirking slightly.
"You are not going to run off for the next hundred years or so with only a monosyllabic reply."
"You've come to stop me?."
Here, Yuan gave him a full smirk.
"No. You just ruined it with that, idiot." Kratos' eyes narrowed.
"Did you come here just to annoy me?" He snapped, shrugging off the hand that was still on his shoulder.
"As fun as that is, no." Yuan replied, taking out a wing pack. "I did, however, find someone's secret stash of vintage Ymir wine at the Tethe'allan base."
Kratos felt his lips twist into a minuscule smile.
"Are you trying to have a repeat of the birthday party you tried to throw me?" He asked, bringing a hand up to his face. Yuan's own eye twitched, and the half-elf shook his head.
"That was Mithos' idea. I only... supplied him." Kratos gave a small 'heh'
"What's the point then?"
"There's always a chance."
"A chance of what?"
"That we might still be able to drink ourselves senseless."
"You think that's probable, considering our metabolisms?"
"Have you tried?"
o0o
"This doesn't seem to be working," Kratos said, sighing as he eyed the bottom of his first bottle. He didn't even feel tipsy. Yuan glared moodily at his own bottle.
"I don't feel anythi-wait!" Yuan started, holding up a hand. Kratos raised an eyebrow. Yuan was motionless for perhaps a minute, but nothing happened.
"It seems we are no longer able to become intoxicated," Kratos said, somewhat sadly. He set the bottle down on the floor of Yuan's office, wondering if he should bother to try one of the many unopened bottles that were sitting in between him and Yuan.
"I don't get it!" Yuan declared, throwing his own bottle over his shoulder. It rolled and thumped into the wall. "I can still get poisoned by those damn Triet serpents! This isn't much different!"
Kratos chuckled.
"Is that why you missed that meeting? Mithos was furious."
"Heh," Yuan said, gaining the look of someone reminiscing. He absently grabbed another bottle and opened it. He took a gulp, and smiled briefly. Then it slowly dissolved into a frown. "I walked right into a whole nest of those damn things! It took four Panacea bottles to remove all the poison from my system! Four!" Yuan took another generous swig. Kratos cracked open another of his own, grimacing.
"It can't be as bad as one of those fakes!" Kratos grumbled, finally leaning back in his chair. "I ran into three of them alone in the past year! As soon as I would walk by, the damn things would latch onto my foot."
Yuan nearly choked on his drink, imagining Kratos trying to shake a fake off of his leg. When he was shot a dark look from the seraph in question however, he donned an innocent expression and took another swallow.
After the consumption of about a dozen bottles each Kratos had loosened his jacket collar and stretched out his legs. Yuan had for some unknown reason undone his hair. Kratos squinted at Yuan, who was beginning to blur a little bit.
"You look like a woman." He said solemnly, lifting the bottle to his lips and finishing it. Yuan, who had been smiling vaguely to himself for the past minute or so furrowed his brow.
"Am I pretty?" Yuan asked, running a hand through his hair self-consciously. Kratos thought about this.
"No."
"Well," Yuan answered haughtily, pulling it back again and fastening the holder, "you're just jealous because if you tried to grow out your hair you'd look like a porcupine." He then sniffed and rested his head on his hand as he took a drink.
Kratos cocked his head at him, confused. Slowly, he patted his hair with a free hand.
"Porcupine?"
"Yes. A porcupine."
"HEEEELLLOOOOOOOOOO!!" Both of the Seraphim started at the intrusive voice that echoed around the supposedly empty base.
"That was entirely unnecessary, Zelos!" Another (quieter) voice said. Both Yuan and Kratos had to strain very hard to understand it. If the base hadn't been so echoic, they wouldn't have heard it at all.
"That's Raine," Kratos murmured, unconcernedly reaching for another bottle. "She's probably here to research."
"MARVELOUS!"
Yuan winced, and stood quickly, staggering only slightly as he did so.
"She'd better not ruin anything!" He grumbled. Kratos tilted his head in order to hear better. A low mumbling could be heard coming from some below levels, with an occasional loud exclamation.
"You'd be better off not trying to stop her," Kratos said, gently pushing Yuan back into his chair. "She's tenacious." Yuan frowned momentarily, and sighed.
The pair spent a few more moments in relative silence, enjoying themselves. Then the door opened suddenly, revealing Zelos. The three men stared at each other.
"Heeeeeeey," Zelos said slyly, taking in the relaxed posture of the seraphim, the empty bottles, and the vague grins. "Were you guys throwing a party without me?"
Kratos immediately frowned.
"It's not a party."
"Definitely not." Yuan agreed.
Zelos ignored these statements.
"You can't have a party without me!" The former Chosen insisted. He pulled himself up a chair and chattered away. Bewildered, Yuan and Kratos looked at each other.
"Now what?" Yuan mouthed, squinting at Zelos. He hefted the bottle in his hand, considering smashing it on Zelos' head to make him stop talking. Kratos held up a hand.
"I've got an idea." He mouthed back. Zelos was still talking.
"...didn't know you guys were up for a party! All I'm sayin' is that if you guys ever came to my place I could get a couple of my hunnies an' we could ha-"
"Zelos." Kratos interrupted, clutching a bottle tightly. His face was deadpan.
"Yeah?"
"We're gay." The seraph said seriously. Yuan blinked at him. Zelos' mouth dropped.
"Oooookay, I'll just be going now. Nice to see ya!" With a quick wave, he did everything but run out the door. Yuan looked at Kratos for a second. Then he started laughing like he hadn't done in centuries. Kratos joined in.
"If," Yuan started, trying to contain his mirth, "If I wasn't done strunk..." He paused. Kratos looked at him expectantly. Yuan was confused for a minute, then started again. "If I wasn't stone drunk, I'd probably hurt you for saying that." He raised a bottle to toast. Kratos smiled and clanked his against Yuan's.
"If I wasn't drunk, I'd probably help you." He answered, sighing contentedly.
And even though Yuan didn't quite understand that, he nodded agreeably.
"Nice to know we still have one of life's joy, Kratos."
"Yes."
There was a content silence. Then Yuan chuckled quietly to himself. Kratos raised an eyebrow.
"You're going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow!" He said, starting to laugh freely again. Kratos frowned at first, and then groaned.
"And those stupid angels are going to try to heal me," Kratos grumbled, running a hand through his hair. Yuan found this hilarious.
"Lord Kratos!" Yuan said, mimicking the high screechy voice of the female Healer on Derris-Kharlan. "Lord Kratos, how may I help you?"
That was the precise moment that Raine burst into the room. She froze, not quite sure if she had just heard the four-thousand year old seraph Renegade leader sounding like Genis going through puberty.
There was no sound for a moment except for Kratos, who was laughing so hard now that he made no noise except for a gasping breath. Zelos hovered over Raine's shoulder, peering in curiously. Raine's face settled into a grim line, and she shook her head sadly.
"It's hard to say Zelos, but I think after four thousand years, their minds must have finally snapped," She said, sighing gently.
"But Raine! You should have heard them!" The ex-Chosen whined, clutching Raine. She shook him off and closed the door gently.
"Perhaps we should try the Triet base instead."
"Raaaaaaaine!"
"Be quiet, Zelos. It's none of our business what they do in their spare time."
Yuan sat miserably, face-palming and holding a bottle listlessly as he heard two rheiards leave the base. Kratos finally gained control over his laughter, and it died into a wide grin.
"I'd say you've helped me a lot already, Yuan," He said finally, still smiling faintly.
"Please. Just leave already." The half-elf pleaded, still hiding his face.
Lloyd never did figure out why Kratos showed up at his house at dawn, a small smile on his face and a bottle of wine in his right hand, or why Zelos and Raine got a strange look on their faces whenever he wondered aloud what Yuan was doing these days.
Fin
