Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto of any of its characters.

Warning: possible rating changes for each chapter. Pay attention, guys!

Author's note:

The promised Side Stories are finally here! You can keep sending me prompts through reviews here or PM or in All Things Are Difficult Before They Are Easy (man, fucking big title. Wonder why I chose, really. Oh, well.)

This chapter in particular is a side story to All Things as instead of just a prompt.

Enjoy it and tell me what you think and what you want to see!


All Things: Side Stories

By Amaryllis D. Namikaze


Chapter I:

The Bathhouse


Prompt:

- Sora:

For the side-story... I would love to read about an onsen trip with kumi and his team and their reactions to the bathing men and boys that mistake kumi for a girl - I'm certain it would be fun, when you're going to write it that is.


First of all, I didn't want to look like a freaking girl.

Somehow, when my very being was formed, my genes mixed in a way that made me destined to be confused as a person of the opposite gender. I didn't choose this. I don't think anyone would choose this if they had the option to do so.

(Frankly, it's like I was the Haku of this generation.)

Sakumo-sensei had had the brilliant idea to stop by an onsen during our trip back to Konoha. According to him, a thermal bath would be relaxing so close to the Chūnin Exams. Ren had been the first one to agree, sprouting something or another about us being beat into the ground during training every day and missions.

I had thought Why not? I had never used a public bathhouse before. My first life was spent in London - did these things even exist there? - so it was no surprise. As for this life, well, I wasn't the epitome of shameless. The only reason I agreed to go at all was because I didn't really know how to disagree when everyone else was in agreement.

To the bathhouse we went.

"I'm so excited to finally relax," Ren said cheerfully, skipping down the corridor to the changing room like Little Red Riding Hood.

"Me too," Chitarō agreed. I had the distinct impression that he wanted to relax from something different. Probably from Ren's exuberant personality. Or maybe he just wanted to take a nap - missions never let him sleep as much as he wanted.

The changing rooms were surprisingly empty, though we could hear voices coming all the way from the bath. As soon as the door closed behind Sakumo-sensei, Ren started taking his shirt off. I paused for the longest minute of my life, unsure. My old life's body had been ugly and scrawny - hadn't it? I couldn't even bring it to my mind anymore - whereas this one was perfectly normal. A little on the pale side, sure, but normal enough. But I couldn't bring myself to take my clothing off in front of other people without shying away, even though these were some of my most trusted friends.

"C'mon, slowpokes!" Ren shouted, a towel tied around his hips. He ran into the steam gathered around the open bath. A few seconds later, a splash was heard. Some voices complained at the racket.

Chitarō rolled his eyes.

"Goodness, he's completely shameless."

Sakumo-sensei laughed good-naturedly, "Let him be. It's been a long time since we've sat down and relaxed."

My best friend glanced at me, curious.

"You're not going to enter the bath, Kumi?"

"Huh?" I eloquently made. "Ah, I will." As soon as I gather enough courage to tie such a tiny towel around my hips and go bathe with other men..

I wish Ren hadn't made a remark about Shikaku and I going on a date a couple of weeks ago. It hadn't been true, of course, but it had reminded me of my little problem called homosexuality, even though it wasn't a problem per se in this world. My body was still that of a pre-teen in this life, but my mind was mature enough to be aware of other - naked - people. Really.

Five minutes later - it took that long to make my nerves stop trying to make me give up on public bathhouses - the rest of Team One went out of the changing rooms. At first, I couldn't make out the bath itself due to the steam rising from it, but as soon as we reached it, my eyes grew to the size of two plates.

In one word, it was relaxing. It was one of those Japanese open baths - bamboo, rocks and shower heads in a corner. All the works. It seemed like it was straight out of a manga or something. I could feel my problems melting away as I approached the water.

Well, all problems but one...

"A... girl?" A masculine voice questioned, sounding confused.

"Girl?" Other voices echoed, managing to sound delighted and hungry all at the same time.

... My appearance.

"IT'S A GIRL!" A distinctly young voice shouted and the owner, a fourteen or fifteen years old boy stood up, pointing at me.

I stepped back. Chitarō put himself in front of me, glaring. Sakumo-sensei raised his hands in attempt to calm the other men.

"It's my student, Kumi-chan, but-"

Wrong thing to say, sensei, I thought to myself, wanting nothing more than to be swallowed by the ground. You don't put -chan in a eleven-year-old boy's name when trying to explain why he looked like a freaking girl so freaking much.

"GIRL!" Another bunch of teenagers shouted excitedly. They didn't seem to mind that my chest was absolutely flat, which either meant that I was too young for them or - ooh, imagine it! - a boy.

It took ten minutes, a failed lower grope (Chita got so mad the poor fellow went flying to the women's side and came back all bruised) and my ninja ID to prove my gender. Needless to say, I wasn't going to another public bathhouse so soon. My team probably wouldn't let me anyway.

Yep. Definitely the Haku of this generation.