Title: Big Girls Don't Cry 1/1

Author: Music aka PsychoBarbie aka the author formerly known as Harmoni9

Category:WWE/BTVS

Rating: E for everyone.. it's amazing I think I got thru this without swearing

Summary: Dawn has an important choice to make. And this time she has to stick to it and be stong… cuz Big Girls Don't Cry

Disclaimer: Dawn and Willow Belong to Joss Whedon, WWE wrestlers belong to themselves and vince McMahaon

Spoilers: ummm nope…wait wait.. yeah.. .no

Feedback: Please

Author's Note: A little stand alone cuz if anyone knows me, Knows I do the little one stands based on real life… with a little bit of tweaking from me to make it good… so you can sit there and wonder wtf really happened to me and what I'm making up :D.. anywho for this story the wrestler in here is already married although I think they're still dating in real life.. W/E my story.. he's married….

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The smell of your skin lingers on me now

You're probably on your flight back to your home town

Dawn laid across her bed, staring up at the ceiling as she breathed in the scent of him, still lingering there. He had left today, back to his home, to his life, to his girl. The one the world knew about, and here she sat, unknown, forgotten until they happened to be in the same city again.

She closed her eyes, rolling over on the bed as she thought back to when they met.

I need some shelter of my own protection baby

To be with myself and center, clarity

Peace, Serenity

She remembered meeting him by chance one day, how he had asked for her number, how he had jokingly said that he loved to text. Not long after she received her first text from him and she was surprised, thinking she wouldn't hear from him again. But she texted him back and from that moment on, they spent most of the day and night texting back and forth.

She knew he traveled a lot for his job, as did she, recruiting new slayers and new watchers. When they discovered they were going to be in the same area one week, he suggested they meet up and she couldn't stop the giddy feeling that burst forth, without realizing it, Dawn Summers had slowly begun to fall for him.

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

Dawn slowly sat up on the bed, knowing that this time she had to follow through on her plan, she couldn't let him distract her again like he did last night. When he asked to meet her, she wanted to say no but she knew this would be the last time she saw him so agreed to see him. She wanted to say good bye, she was in too much pain seeing him all the time, not being able to have him.

But then he took it a step further

It's personal, Myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

The first night they met after texting so much was fun. It was nothing special, they just met at a park, in the daylight of course and they talked for hours. At the end, he hugged her and she couldn't help the feeling that being in his arms felt so… right.

He texted her later that night and they talked some more. It was all innocent. They laughed, they joked, they got to know each other more. But Dawn wanted to see him again, and being bold for just one minute where he couldn't hear her voice she told him she had a lot of fun and asked if he wanted to meet up again tomorrow. He said yes and she couldn't stop the smile that broke out over her face.

All of a sudden, she wanted to know more about him, she knew he was a wrestler for the WWE but not being a fan, she never really cared. Now, she went into Willow mode and googled him. She learned all about his career and even some stuff on his personal life. Then she learned something she wanted to take back…

He was married.

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move on with my life

Dawn slowly began to pack up her stuff as she tried to ignore all the memories flowing through her. She didn't need them now. She needed to get through this and be strong. Alone. Without him.

Its time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry…

The moment she read he was married, she was crushed. Sure nothing had happened and it had all been innocent conversation but she couldn't help the feelings she had for him and she couldn't help feeling betrayed. She texted him right away asking if he was married. He texted back, Afraid so, yes. She then asked him why afraid so, was he not happy? He told her no, she drove him nuts.

She didn't know why she did it, but she still met up with him that night, they talked and as she was leaving, he pulled her close and just held her for a good long while. When she left, she cursed the fact that he was married. Cursed the fact that the first man she fell for in a long time was unavailable.

As the weeks went on and the texting and talking online continued, she tried to keep it at a merely friend level. He was married after all, and she told herself many times it would never work. She was only 21, he was 29, they had very different lives. HE was ignorant of what really happened, of what was really out there and Dawn didn't want to be the one responsible for him losing his innocence. He was lucky, he got to remain blissfully unaware.

The path that I'm walking

I must go alone

I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown.

She should've listened to her head last night when he wanted to meet. Instead she followed her heart, telling herself this would be the last time she saw him, she had to see him one last time. She had to say good bye. But he didn't make it easy, he never made it easy on her. But this time, she had to stay firm, if she broke down again and went to him, only she would be hurt in the end. It would end badly for her.

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

One time they were to meet up in Raleigh, North Carolina, she knew this was his hometown and how excited he was to be wrestling there. She was also very surprised to see a front row ticket and backstage pass to his show that night waiting for her when she checked into her room. Right away she had texted him thanking him and when he responded she almost didn't go. He told her his wife was there and she can still come back stage but she had to pretend they had never met.

She ended up going, He noticed her in the crowd and lifted an eyebrow to her and smiled but that was it. She even went backstage after and saw him there. Even went up to him when his wife was right there. She had seen a picture, she knew who she was. As Dawn approached, she could see him looking a little nervous, but she stuck her hand out and put on a big fake smile.

"Jeff Hardy right? My name's Dawn Summers, I'm a big fan of yours."

He smirked at her and shook hands with her, introducing her to his wife. Dawn made small talk and as soon as was possible, booked it out of there. She was in awe that she had done that but she had to. She had to see his wife, she had to act as though everything was normal and she wasn't harboring some secret feelings for him.

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to with you

Her phone went off and Dawn looked at it. She knew it was from him. He was asking if she was okay. She had seemed so distant when he left. What was she suppose to say to that? She had said good bye to him, she had hugged him and held back the tears threatening to fall, what more was she to do? Beg him to stay? Beg him to leave his wife. If he was so unhappy if he really wanted her he would've done that months ago.

Dawn deleted the message.

It's personal, Myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

The next time they were in the same town, Dawn couldn't make it to the show due to an appointment her and Willow had but he texted her saying a whole bunch of people were going to a certain place after and to meet him there. She agreed but thought it odd. Wasn't he the one who said they weren't supposed to know each other? She dragged Willow along, had to beg the red head to come and at the same time gave the whole sad pathetic story. Willow agreed to go. And when they arrived, they hung around outside for a bit. When she saw him, she called to him but he kept walking.

"Jeff." She called, "You can't ignore me."

"Sorry." He called back, "I'm extremely pissed off."

Dawn looked at Willow then followed him in there waiting until he talked to some of the people there before she tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, he grabbed her pulling her into a hug.

"You okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine." He whispered back. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move on with my life

Dawn stopped what she was doing and sat back on her heels. Why did he have to go and make it so damn difficult. Why couldn't he just leave it alone? She angrily swiped at her eyes, pushing the tears back. No, she would not break down now.

Its time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry…

He let her go and went off to talk to some friends.

"Married?" Willow had asked, sounding skeptical.

"Very much so." She whispered back, watching him.

Willow sighed and put an arm around her, leading her over to a table. They talked , they drank, maybe even flirted with some other wrestlers, but Dawn's eyes stayed on one person the whole time.

Like the little school mate in the school yard

We'll play jacks and uno cards

I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine

Valentine

Her phone went off again another text from him, asking again if she was okay. She was usually quick with her responses.

Dawn slumped down against the bed, her head in her hands. It was a big mess. She was never supposed to let this happen. He was a married man for god's sake. He was supposed to be seen as untouchable.

But she did the unthinkable.

She touched.

Yes you can hold my hand if u want to

Cause I want to hold yours too

Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds

Willow wanted to go and Dawn decided it would be better if they did. She went up to him and told him she was leaving. He grabbed her, pulling her into another hug.

"You'll be okay?" She asked.

"Yes, I'll be fine."

She went to pull away but he wouldn't let her go and she held him closer, thinking it odd that he was holding her in front of everyone like this, especially when they weren't supposed to know each other.

"I guess you just needed a hug." She whispered.

"Yes, it's very reassuring." He replied back.

"Glad I could help."

"I could just melt in your arms."

Her stomach dropped when he said this. He wasn't supposed to say things like that.

"It's cause it's me." She managed to choke out, "I'm just so wonderful."

"You really are." He said.

Dawn stepped back. "I'll talk to you later." She said, grabbing Willow's hand and rushing out of there.

He wasn't supposed to say things like that.

But its time for me to go home

Its getting late, dark outside

I need to be with myself and center, clarity

Peace, Serenity

Dawn decided that night that she couldn't do this anymore. When he had texted her the next day asking to meet up she said no that she had to go to the next city but he begged her and she finally gave in. It was time to say good bye. It hurt too much to be around him anymore.

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

Dawn met up with him that night in a coffee shop. When he asked to go for a walk she had adamantly shook her head so they stayed there and talked and Dawn watched him.

She loved his goofy sense of humor. She loved his passion for wrestling and music. She loved everything about him, which is why she had to say good bye.

It's personal, Myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

After he said he would walk her back to her hotel and she complied. A few more minutes wouldn't hurt. Any time spent with him was okay by her. She just basked in being near him.

When they reached the hotel, Dawn gave him a hug and went to kiss him on the cheek. As she did, he turned his head so their lips connected and although she was startled at first, she soon found herself melting into that kiss. Moments later she was fumbling for the door behind her and leading them both into her room….

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move on with my life

The next morning nothing was said and he left with a kiss to her forehead, leaving Dawn staring at the ceiling. Wondering why she couldn't just say good bye

Its time to be a big girl now

Her phone rang and this time she picked it up.

"Dawn, sweetie, are you okay."

"Yes." She whispered. "But Jeff, you can't call me anymore. I can't do this. I won't be the other woman. I love you too much for that. Good bye Jeff."

She hung up the phone and picked up her bag, pushing back the tears.

She would not cry.

And big girls don't cry…

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