Coming Home Again

Set-up: After John and Natalie break up, Natalie decides to leave Llanview for a fresh start without John, Cristian or memories of her shattered life to stand in her way. It's now Christmas 2009 and she's finally ready to come home to visit the family she left behind.

Chapter 1

Snow was falling around her. She had forgotten how beautiful Llanview was in the winter with the snow-capped Llantano Mountain towering over the small town she called home for some of the happiest and saddest years of her life. As she passed the sign wlecoming her to Llanview she wondered why she wasn't questioning her decision to come back here after all this time. Granted, she had missed her home, her family. But there were a fair share of unhappy memories here as well. But as she looked around the town as she drove through on her way to Llanfair, she smiled at every storefront, every landmark. This was her home and nothing was going to keep her away any longer.

John stared at the shiny black SUV that just passed him as he turned into the LPD parking lot. It might as well have had a flashing neon "FBI" sign attached to it. He wondered why an agent would be in Llanview two days before Christmas. No, if he was honest he would acknowledge that he wondered why an agent would be in Llanview and him not know about it. Maybe Bo knew. He walked directly to the Commissioner's office and entered without knocking. He watched as Bo hung up the phone, smiling. The smile disappeared when Bo saw the frown on John's face. "What's with you, McBain? Playing Scrooge again this year?"

John frowned even more. "Not funny. Do you know anything about a fed being in town?"

Bo looked at him curiously. "You feeling territorial, John?"

"Why is it territorial to want to know why a federal agent just drove through downtown Llanview and didn't stop here?"

"Because federal agents have families too or have you forgotten?"

"Families?" John wasn't following.

"Yeah, families. Natalie is home for Christmas."

John felt the air leave his lungs in one solid whoosh. Natalie. He had spent the past three years avoiding that name, her name, her face, everything about her. And with one sentence from his boss he was taken back to that time. When everything in his world turned upside down.

"John?" Bo was looking at him strangely. It had been years since he had seen John react to something like this.

John shook his head. "Yeah Bo, sorry. So Natalie is back?"

"She's visiting for Christmas. She's not back to stay, John."

"Right, of course not. Her life isn't here anymore."

Bo wasn't sure if he should say what he was getting ready to say but the father in him wouldn't let it go. "John, Natalie fought to get where she is now. She worked hard to get into the FBI and she loves what she does. Don't make her regret coming home."

"What do you think I'm going to do, Bo?" John stared incredulously at his boss and who he thought was his friend.

"Honestly I don't know. But I know there will always be something between the two of you. I just don't want to see her hurt any more than she already has been."

"Go ahead and say it. You don't want her to get hurt any more by me."

"I love my niece and I don't want to see her in pain, period. The rest is your guilt talking." Bo picked up a stack of files and walked out of his office leaving John standing there, his hands on his hips, staring at the ceiling.

Natalie smiled broadly as she came to rest in the driveway and looked at the Christmas decorations filling every available space on the house she had come to see as her home. Llanfair would always be a little too formal for her taste but there was no doubt it was filled with love as long as her mother was there. She had missed family Christmas' while she concentrate on starting her career but she would never regret her choice. She knew what she was capable of for the first time in her life and now she was ready to face all of Llanview as FBI Supervisory Special Agent Natalie Buchanan.

As she cut off the ignition, the door to the house opened and Jessica came running out of the house, squealing. "Natalie!" She hugged her twin tightly. "I've missed you so much!"

Natalie grinned. "I've missed you too, sis. I'm glad to be home."

Jessica smiled happily. "It's nice to hear you call Llanview home again. Let's get you inside. Mom has hot chocolate waiting."

Natalie shook her head, smiling. Leave it to Viki to make it feel like coming home to a Norman Rockwell painting. "Hot chocolate in the library by the fire sounds like heaven on earth to me." Jessica helped Natalie gather her bags and they walked to the house leaving their cargo in the foyer as Viki walked through the library doors."

"My Natalie. You look beautiful, my dear." Viki hugged her daughter and kissed her cheek. "It's good to have you home."

Natalie beamed. "It's good to be home, Mom."

"Let's get inside so you can fill us in on what's been going on with you." Viki guided her daughters into the library.

Natalie knew her mother was more interested in her personal life than her position with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, or BAU. However, since joining that specialized group of agents, what little social life she had before ceased to exist. "Well, I spent Thanksgiving in Phoenix working on a serial murder case. And the week after that, we were in Madison, Wisconsin dealing with an arsonist who had graduated to murder. And last week I was giving a lecture at Quantico. The biggest excitement there was getting at least 8 hours of sleep five nights in a row. You have no idea how exciting that is these days!"

Viki and Jessica both appeared horrified and it was everything Natalie could do not to burst into laughter. "What? You didn't think I was attending State dinners and hobnobbing with the Obamas did you?"

Viki shook her head slightly. "Well no, not exactly. I guess I didn't realize how much work your group had."

Natalie saw the concern in her mother's eyes. "Llanview doesn't have the market on serial killers I'm afraid."

Viki looked up and saw the twinkle in her daughter's eyes and realized the humor, yet truth behind her statement. "I guess we have had our fair share, haven't we? It makes sense that we aren't the only ones."

"I love my job. I love helping people through the hardest time of their lives. And I love putting away the bag guys."

Viki could see the passion in Natalie's eyes and knew her daughter had found her calling. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Mom. I'm proud of me too."

John sat at the bar and stared at the pool table. Rodi's had always been special to Natalie, and therefore to him. She had loved working here back then. He could still see her in the black t-shirt and jeans that made up the Rodi's uniform. But what he remembered most clearly was her smile. The smile she would flash whenever he would walk in the door. That was back when she was always happy to see him. What he couldn't remember was the last time he saw her smile like that.

Natalie watched her family as they smiled and chatted, sipping hot chocolate and coffee. She felt completely at peace even after the time she had missed with them. She knew that she was finally the whole person she had yearned to be but could never have been if she had stayed here.