Hi! I'm Lauren, and please let me say that I just LOVE Kid Icarus! You should read Darby's fics too. They will most likely be Naruto. You might see me messing with her fics because I feel like it.(Darby, I'm totally gonna mess with your fics)( Ha ha ha, no you won't.)Yes I will. Watch me. Anyway, let's get started!
Disclaimer: I own Kid Icarus. Just kidding. I only own the plot.
"Sorry to keep you waiting!" Pit exclaimed as he jumped into the air.
"Pit, are you reusing lines?" Palutena asked.
"Is there a problem in reusing my lines from the last game? Because I think that Lauren wants- OW OW OW MY HEAD!"
"Pit! We discussed this! And you already broke the wall! Twice! Think about the people that make that thing!" Palutena had a good point. The immortals had a problem with walls. They were ready to collapse at any moment.
"So sorry lady Palutena! I just can't help it! Poor walls..."
Palutena sighed. "Pit, you did it again- ugh, you know what? I give up. Anyway, there's a town that needs your help. Viridi isn't joking around. Phosphora is leading the forces of nature, so protect it with everything you've got, because I can revive you." Wow. That's... disturbing.
Pit was attacked by said forces of nature, and retaliated. He knew Palutena could revive him, but he didn't want to risk punishment for breaking things. Swinging his First Blade(which was his weapon because reasons) he heard Viridi, the goddess of nature, made herself known.
"Well, Pit, it took you long enough to get here. These humans will be gone soon enough. They are only mortal, after all. Phosphora, hurry! These humans are thorns in my side!"
"Of course, mistress Viridi! I'll just take out this duo- hey! Stop- ow!" Phosphora, the lightning sprite, seemed to be having trouble. Also, Pit could hear both Viridi and Phosphora perfectly, even though they were nowhere in sight. Maybe they hijacked his laurel crown. If that was even possible. He decided not to think about things that were too complicated for him.
"Pit, I have some news for you. Magnus and Gaol live here, and they are doing a very good job of protecting their home. Help them from the air as long as you can!" Palutena told Pit as he fired shots from his First Blade and somehow collected hearts in the process.
"Got it, lady Palutena! So Magnus and Gaol must be dealing with Phosphora. Anyway how much time do I have left?"
"Oh, somewhere around a minute and half."
"What?!"
"Relax. I have faith in you. That should be more than enough." Palutena said happily.
"That's a lot of faith, lady Palutena. Don't you think that it might be too much faith?" One minute and half was pushing it. You couldn't blame Pit for being nervous. Of course, Palutena didn't care.
"Pit, just do what you can until the land battle. I'm sure this will work out." Nobody was suprised.
Phosphora decided that that was a great time to yell, "Oh, the nerve of those humans! This is getting ridiculous! OW! Since when did mortals have magic? STOP IT!"
"What's wrong, Phosphora? Having trouble with two humans?" Pit's voice was full of false concern.
"Pit! Prepare for land battle!" Palutena signaled that the power of flight was running out.
"But I missed a Parashooter-"
"Aww, I wanted a perfect score!" Pit had missed one Parashooter, and was unhappy that he couldn't soft-reset. Naturally, this made Palutena tighten the laurel crown around his head, making Pit yelp and hop around, which provided a very amusing scene to the outside viewer.
"Angel face?"
"Pit?" Magnus and Gaol had noticed Pit's little dance of pain.
"Magnus? Dark Lord Gaol? I thought you were fighting Phosphora!" Pit, once again, had accidentally called Gaol 'Dark Lord Gaol' out of habit. Gaol seemed to be slightly miffed about being addressed with her title from when she worked in the Underworld army. But being very patient, she simply ignored it. So did Magnus, but he probably didn't care about what Pit called his friend.
Magnus started to say, "If you mean the lightning sprite, we were fighting her, but-"
"FOUND YOU!"
"Teleportation is only so useful. We'll deal with her! You protect the others!" Gaol finished and warped the three away.
The Parashooter that Pit had missed earlier had come back with very bad timing. Pit nailed it in it's single yellow eye.
"Hah! Finally got ya!"
"Children! Strike down this chicken!" Viridi yelled.
"Why do you call them children anyway? I don't see you calling Phosphora your daughter-" Pit started to say.
"'Children' is a title for the grunts. The commanders are called by their names, chicken." When Viridi called Pit 'chicken' she meant dumb and cowardly, just to insult him on two levels. Not that Pit would understand.
"You do know that chickens are invincible, right? If you try to kill one, it'll call it's friends and gang up on you- OWW I'MSOSORRYLADYPALUTENAIJUSTCAN'THELPITPLEASEDON'TKILLME!" Pit screamed at the top of his lungs, making himself heard all the way on the other side of the town and momentarily distracting Phosphora, Magnus, and Gaol. However, everybody was familiar with Pit being merciless on the fourth wall, so they knew what was going on.
Palutena sighed again. "Pit, just take care of the enemies. The town is in danger. You know the drill by now."
"Of course I do, lady Palutena! Just leave it to me!" Pit shot two Badoots and a Blader that were trying very hard to hit him. Then he started to run around the town, taking out three Pew pews and spending some time on a Lurchthorn, even though it wasn't doing anything for now.
"Lady Palutena, this town looks familiar. Have I been here before?" Pit asked.
"No, Pit, not that I remember." Palutena was confused.
"Wow, Pit, you amaze me. Have you got the memory of a goldfish? This is the town where you were a ring!" Viridi snickered at him. Now that Viridi had told him, Pit could recognize the town. It was in much better shape than is was several years ago.
"My memory is much better than a goldfish! Not to mention that I can talk!" And that ended the conversation. Nobody said a word as Pit served a lot of pain to a passing Captain Flare. Apparently they were out of lines. That made everyone bored. But Pit didn't have any new comments, and he didn't want to reuse any. Palutena couldn't go over the Bumpety bomb's bio, because Pit already knew that he had to melee them. Viridi didn't have anything snappy to say, and needed ideas. But nobody would say anything, and unlike Pit, it was beneath her to reuse any old insults. She didn't want to call him a hole in the ground a second time. Calling him a dweeb was tempting because his reaction had been so good the first time, but no reusing insults.
*15 minutes of random shooting and melee later*
"Can anybody please say something? At least VIridi? I'm so bored." Pit was now dragging his feet.
"Wow. You actually said please. Ok then. Here's a little something."
And Viridi dropped five Cacaws and a Clobbler in front of Pit. So that he would say something for her to insult.
"I just had to open my mouth."
"Hey, you asked for it!"
"I did not ask for this! I was just bored!" Pit yelled at Viridi while doing his best to not touch the Clobbler and kill the Cacaws. It didn't work. The Cacaw next to him let out a deafening "CAW!" and Pit ran straight for the Clobbler. But the Clobbler exploded for no reason. Suddenly, a large beam shot out of the sky and blasted the Cacaws into nothing. Pit looked up to see a brown haired girl perched on the roof of a house, holding a staff.
"Need some help?" She asked. The girl was wearing a white tunic and grey leggings. She had green eyes and her brown hair was tied into pigtails with grey pieces of cloth.
"I'm Perdix."
If you love greek mythology as much as me and Darby, you should know about Perdix. If you do, don't yell at me about Perdix being a boy in the myths. I just happened to be making a female character and her story ended up a lot like Perdix's, so I was uncreative about the name. If you know the myth, you should have a good guess about how this will go. The plot isn't complete yet, but I'm liking this story so far. Just don't yell at me for making Perdix a girl. If Perdix's design sounds familiar, that has good reason. I will answer questions about Perdix in the plot, but if they are unimportant, I will answer them one way or another. Goodbye!
