"My Greatest Achievment" (10-20-05)
Dr. Wonka
characters in reference to 2005 film
rated G
You are my greatest achievement. But I can't take credit for you. You excelled despite me.
Parenthood is full of pitfalls. It's a delicate procedure--so easy to get it wrong. Perhaps it's a even greater testament to your success that you overcame my mistakes.
If I could start over and re-mold you, knowing now what's taken a lifetime to understand...but I wouldn't. You're not mine. You're your own.
Proud of you? Undoubtedly. I watch you more closely than you know, reading between the lines, interpreting you through what I know of myself. I do see myself in you; I can be proud of myself.
It's quite a different experience to look into your son's eyes and see yourself there than it is to look back to a parent. You came from me--but you're a part of me I can't control. How could I set you free in the world away from me? That was too great a loss. I gave up my soul.
There are too many unhealthy ways to let go, too many ill-advised ways to cling on. But to hold my son--to press you to me in an embrace both alien and familiar, to breathe as one--that is paternal completion.
Withholding judgment on myself, if I do no other good or evil in my lifetime, I have made you. Nothing could be more remarkable.
