Chapter 1

"NO!"

The werewolf is blasted off me and I can breathe easier again. It sounded like my saviour had been Hermione, was that her way of saving she has forgiven me for trying to steal Ron last year? He had never really been mine, not then and not ever.

The sounds of the battle continue around me and I daren't even try to move. I just try to focus on breathing, that's all that's important right now. Breathing.

A piece of the castle wall collapses on my right and falls onto my already broken left arm. I flinch automatically but do not attempt movement. Perhaps I should just pretend to be dead? Was that Gryffindor? I doubt it but it's just so tempting to close my eyes and hope that death carries me away. As a victim of the Final Battle, surely I would be a hero, not a coward?

I heard Flitwick's squeaky voice shout from somewhere but I can't focus on what he's saying. How much longer until we lose? A sharp pain issues from my right ankle and I look down to see that someone had fallen back onto it, were they dead? They aren't moving, I try to see who it is but all I can see is pink hair, that was odd, who would wear pink hair to a battle?

I close my eyes and for a moment, or maybe a long time, the darkness drags me under but then I'm back and everything hurts again. The pink-haired body is still on top of my foot and the battle is still raging on.

"You have fought bravely, valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured."

The cold voice continues but I lose its meaning for a moment as a racking, painful bout of coughing hit me, I can taste blood in my mouth. I try to turn my head to spit it out but after a moments effort I am forced to simply swallow it.

Voldemort's voice has stopped now and sounds of disapparating Death Eaters fill the air, there is a moment's shaky silence and then cries of loss ring out, families calling out to each other. I have a brief, fleeting, thought of my parents. Probably stuck in the depths of the Amazon rainforest not even bothering to consider how I am getting on, if I am still alive.

"No! No Tonks… please!" For a moment I don't recognised the voice and then I see that it is Ginny Weasley, crouching over the pink-haired body and shaking it lightly with tears rolling down her face. She cries out again but as I suspected the pink-haired body is no longer capable of answering the youngest Weasley.

A man comes behind her, it must be one of her brothers; he looks too young to be her father. He leans down to comfort his sister, his eyes raking over the dead body before he catches my eye.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll move her." He says softly and Ginny looks up to see who he is talking to.

"Lavender?" She asks as her brother relieves my ankle of the weight of the body. I'm surprised by how scared I am of looking in Ginny's face, the charm it appears was very accurate and it pains me greatly to look in the real Ginny's eyes so instead I close my eyes again, trying to focus on breathing again, that's all that's important. Breathing.

"It's okay, Lavender. My brother will take you into the hall. It doesn't look like you can walk." Ginny's says and I open my eyes but look away from the witch towards her brother. He has long hair, scars on his face, underneath the new cuts, and a fang earing. I definitely haven't met this particular Weasley before.

"Lavender is it?" He asked, I start to nod but then stop as they pain shoots through me.

"Yes, Lavender Brown." Ginny confirms.

"Hi Lavender, I'm Bill Weasley. I'm going to carry you into the hall okay? We'll get you somewhere more comfortable."

I don't respond but I do flinch as he carefully moves the debris that has fallen onto my body and picks me up, probably surprised by how light I am. It's been months since I've had a decent meal. I close my eyes again and when I open them again we are entering the hall, I have no idea where I was in Hogwarts so I'm unsure if I've lost consciousness or just blinked.

"Madam Pomfrey?" Bill asks.

"Student or not?" The Matron asks from somewhere to my right.

"Umm…"

"Student. Lavender Brown." Ginny answers and the nurse must have pointed out somewhere to Bill because we're moving again and he lowers me gently to a bed.

"I'll stay with…" Ginny starts but then she looks up and gasps.

"Bill, who is dad carrying?" She asks, looking at a spot away from me.

"One of the twins, Fred. Come on." He doesn't look down at me but Ginny does briefly.

"I'm sorry Lavender…" She breaks off as a cry of grief fills the room, I suspect it's come from Bill. Ginny runs off and I hear her cry out as well. Fred Weasley must be dead. That's horrible.

I look up at the ceiling and ascertain that I'm in a corner of the Great Hall, on the stage where the teachers eat. The enchanted ceiling is still showing stars but surely it must be close to dawn.

I close my eyes again and when I open them again it is daytime and the atmosphere it the hall is very different, people are cheering and clapping and laughing. It must be over, one way or another. I move my head slightly and see Jimmy Peakes sat up in the bed next to me, he has a bandage on his torso and looks quite pale but he is smiling and that must be good. He notices I am awake and smiles at me.

"It's over Lavender! Harry did it, he beat him! It's over!" I smile briefly but don't say anything and look back up at the blue sky.

Harry Potter has beaten Lord Voldemort. It's all over but is it all done with? Are all the Death Eaters dead or have they fled? The thought that they might be free puts a knife of fear into my heart but I can't dwell on it because I still need to focus on breathing. I wonder with half a brain why Madam Pomfrey hasn't treated me yet? She must be busy, there must be people more important that need saving.

"How are we doing over here?" The Head of Gryffindor, Professor McGonagall, asks, sweeping into the edge of my vision and I realise that Madam Pomfrey must have separated us by houses to keep track of us all.

"I can't believe it's over, Professor" Says a girl whose voice I can't place, I hear McGonagall agree with her and then Jimmy speaks up again.

"Professor McGonagall, I don't think Madam Pomfrey's seen Lavender. She was going to but then everything started again."

McGonagall walks over to me and looks at me carefully. As with Ginny Weasley, I'm surprised by how just looking at her face makes me panic and it gets slightly harder to breathe. McGonagall kneels down and puts her hand on my shoulder and I flinch away from her violently, crying out in pain with the unexpected movement. McGonagall withdraws her hand and looks concerned, I look away from her as she speaks to me.

"It's alright, Miss Brown. You are safe now, it is over. I'll fetch Madam Pomfrey." She stands up and moves away and I can feel a tear make its way down my face without my permission.

Madam Pomfrey arrives and I look away from her again, focussing on a window that is just within my field of vision.

"Right Miss Brown, where does it hurt?" She asks and I do not answer, still looking at the broken window.

"Very well, I shall simply do a charm that informs me of your in…"

"My left arm, my chest, my right ankle and my back…Madam Pomfrey" I croak promptly, anything to avoid her knowing everything. She looks surprised my sudden declaration but waves her wand and the pain is slowly removed from my body, like a splinter from a finger.

"Your back may require more treatment, I shall transfer you to St. Mungo's for a full assessment and…"

"No! I'm fine now, I don't need a full assessment." To prove my point I sit up quickly but a wave of dizziness has me nearly collapse back against the bed.

"Well if you insist then take these potions and stay here for a few hours." The matron says, seemingly too busy with other things to insist I go to the hospital. I take the potions quickly and she nods.

"You will need to rest for a few days, nothing too taxing. Also you are far too skinny so try and eat more, Miss Brown." I nod, pain free this time, and she walks off. Professor McGonagall remains for a moment and I avoid her gaze.

"Are you quite sure you don't wish to go to the hospital, Miss Brown?" She asks and I nod.

"I'm fine, Professor. Just need to take it easy for a few days." I mutter and then I feel her leave and I lean back against the pillows and close my eyes. It's been so long since I have felt no pain that it feels quite odd, almost like I'm missing something.

When I next open my eyes it is early evening and dusk is settling over the hall, I sit up and push the sheets off me. Jimmy has left and there are only a few Gryffindor students left in the area, none of which I have any great desire to talk to so I stand up and walk over to the tables. Students, teachers, families are all sitting mixed together, seemingly regardless of house.

Nevertheless I find myself at the Gryffindor table and sit down next to Parvati, she glances at me for a moment before doing a double take, I suspect she did not recognise me.

"Lavender! Merlin! I didn't know you were here!" She pulls me into a hug and I gasp at how tight it is, it pains me to realise that looking at her face also brings me pain. They really did a number of me, those bastards.

"You look like hell, I didn't recognise you!" Parvati continues as she releases me. I look across the table at Seamus and I'm slightly taken aback to see an almost hostile look on his face. At least it doesn't hurt to look at him.

"Lavender." He acknowledges before looking down at his plate.

I pick up a bread roll with a slightly shaking hand and Parvati passes me the butter.

"Are you alright Lavender? Were you hurt?" She asks. I focus on buttering the roll as I answer.

"Pomfrey fixed me up, are you alright?" I ask.

"Yeah I'm fine, Padma's in St. Mungo's though. I'm going there in a minute."

"Is she going to be okay?" I ask and Seamus makes a snorting noise from across the table so I look at him.

"Go on Brown, act like you care about us!" He spits before slamming his plate on the table and standing up and walking away quickly. I furrow my brow in confusion, why would he think I didn't care?

"Ignore him Lavender, it's nice to see you." Neville says, leaning down the table from next to Luna Lovegood and Professor Sprout. I nod in his direction and try a feeble smile before taking a bite out of the roll, it tastes like heaven.

"I think Padma will be okay, did you hear about Fred?" Parvati continues as if there has been no interruption. I nod, remembering the actions of Ginny and her brother.

"It's horrible, I can't imagine how George must be feeling. I feel ghastly and Pads will probably be fine. Quite a few people didn't make it. I'm glad you're okay though, Lavender. I missed you, Hogwarts wasn't the same without you." She grasps my hand and I have no choice but to look up at her face, it still hurts so I look back at my plate.

So they thought I had left Hogwarts, I guess that explained Seamus's reaction. He thought I had abandoned them, if only they knew the half of it. But they wouldn't, some secrets are better buried, better taken to the grave.

Parvati says goodbye and I'm left on my own, I only manage a roll and a bit of soup before I'm full and feel faintly sick. Neville stands up and walks over to me.

"I'm going to the tower for a sleep, looks like you could do with one too." I nod and stand up, nearly tripping over the bench but Neville catches me and steadies me.

The walk back to the Tower is long and I realise how much of the castle is damaged.

"How many people died, Neville?" I ask as we pass the library.

"About fifty they reckon. Colin didn't make it, tried to sneak back in. I'm glad you came back Lavender, were your parents mad?" He asked and again I'm confused so I look at him and he elaborates. "Your parents, were they mad when you said you were coming back to fight? I can imagine they were if they paid Snape to have you taken out of Hogwarts only for you to come back when it's the most dangerous, very Gryffindor, Lavender!" I make a non-committal noise as I process the new information. So they had been told that my parents had brought my freedom? My parents might be rich enough to do that but there's no way they care enough. I doubt they even noticed there was a war going on, news takes time to reach the depths of the Amazon and even if they knew I doubt they'd come back for me, the mistake that tied them to this boring, cold country until I could finally go to Hogwarts and they could return to their exciting life of travelling Herbologists.

The Fat Lady grants us entry to the tower without a password and Neville mutters a goodbye as we part at the top of the stairs. I push the door open to the seventh year dormitory and feel a pang of sympathy for Parvati as I realise that she must have spent the most of last year alone in here, still I would have given all the gold in the world to have been in here with her.

Hermione Granger is sitting on the edge of her bed, crying softly and I walk over to her, relieved that looking at her face does not bring me pain, only sympathy and curiosity.

"Hermione? Are you alright?" I ask and she starts as she realises she has company.

"Oh, hello Lavender. I didn't know if you'd made it, I'm glad that you did." She says, giving me a weak smile.

"Yeah, thanks for that Hermione. Are you alright, though?"

"Yes, fine, just the relief and the… so many people died Lavender, isn't it horrible?"

"Yes, it's horrible but it's over now, try and focus on that."

"Good idea, I need to sleep, where's Parvati?"

"She's gone to see Padma in St. Mungo's. Do you have any spare pyjamas with you that I could borrow?" I ask because I have no clue where they have put my trunk, or even my wand. Hermione nods and she pulls a mismatched pair of pyjamas from inside a small bag that looks in no way big enough to hold them.

"Undetectable Extension Charm" She answers to my unasked question, I nod anyway. "I think I'm going to sleep with Ron and Harry, it doesn't feel right being without them." I nod but don't reply and she leaves the room and leaves me alone, finally.


A/N Welcome to another story that is outside of the 'Words' universe, Eliza has never and will never exist here! It's actually quite hard to write Professor McGonagall without her but hopefully I'll manage.

So this is an angst-filled Lavender Brown story, if you want a happy fluffy story then this is not the one for you! I'll update weekly.

Next chapter; Confrontation over breakfast.

Thanks to mozie for beta-ing!