Mana: Konnichiwa minna-san! I'm Mana, the authoress. Just a heads up, flames will be given to Hiei to burn you back with. I don't even know what I'm going to do yet, but my brother told me I needed to do a crazy, just-for-fun, comedy Fanfic like this, so here I go!
Yuusuke: Enma help us.
Mana: Oh, urusai before I tell Keiko you've been seeing a demon!
Yuusuke: What?! But I haven't!
Mana: Yeah, but Keiko doesn't know that.
Yuusuke: -Grumbles- Freak.
Mana: With a capital P-H-R-E-E-K!
Kurama: I believe you misspelled it.
Yuusuke: Really?
Kurama: -Anime-style fall-
-Setting: The Yu Yu Gang at Burger King-
"Gee, we oughta do this more often!" Kuwabara said as he put a paper Burger King crown on his head.
Kurama was almost dying from the embarrassment of being seen with the Baka.
Yuusuke saw this and said, "Quick! Where's a camera? Kurama's face is now officially the color of his hair!" He then took a random camera from a random person and took a picture.
He gave the camera back and waited for the white to fade away on the new picture.
"Ha! His face is one shade DARKER than his hair in the picture!" Kuwabara yelled and took the picture away from Yuusuke, waving it in front of Hiei's face.
The corner of Hiei's mouth twitched slightly—the equivalent of laughing his hiney off.
Yuusuke was almost dying of laughter.
Kurama desperately tried to snatch the photo away from Kuwabara before the idiot showed it to everyone in the restaurant.
Kuwabara looked appalled, "Kurama! Don't you know that snatching is impol—HEY!" the photo was snatched away by Kurama.
Mana came running in through a random door, giggling madly, and snatched the photo and Kuwabara's paper crown. She then ran into the play place.
Yuusuke blinked, then asked, "Uh… What just happened?"
Kurama looked just at flabbergasted, "I have no idea."
Kuwabara then suddenly jumped up, "Hey! She stole my royal crown of all that is great and royal!" he shouted, shaking his fist at nothingness.
Kurama and Yuusuke just stared at him like he was mad.
"Baka." Hiei growled, then took a big chomp of his ice cream cone. His pupils dilated in reaction to his sudden sugar high.
"It is MY royal crown of all that is dark and mysterious, and dark—and—and—DARK!" He jumped up and screamed like a banshee, then he ran through the door at a regular, human speed.
Kurama, Yuusuke, and Kuwabara were extremely freaked out by this and now looked something like this: O.O;;;
"Yeah, um… I think I'm gonna go see what Keiko's up to…" Yuusuke said shakily, and then quickly ran off.
"And I, um… must go do my homework!" Kurama quickly made up the excuse, even though, being his perfect self, he had already done it. He ran off, leaving Kuwabara alone.
Kuwabara thought for a moment… Ok, ok, he thought for almost an hour, then suddenly jumped up.
"Fear not, oh King of Darkness! For we kings must work together!" He ran into the door, then backed up and ran through it.
Hiei was staring at the play place like it was a castle.
"Look, King Royal! She's in the tower!" He pointed to the highest tunnel room of the play place.
Kuwabara was stupid enough to play along, "We MUST get to the tower! For the sake of the crown!"
Hiei's Katana hit Kuwabara on top of the head.
"No, you dolt! For MY sake!" Hiei said, then ran into the entrance of the tunnels.
Kuwabara tried to run in after him but was stopped by an employee.
"Hey! Didn't you read the sign? No one over 5 feet allowed!"
Kuwabara shouted into the tunnel, "I have failed you, King Dark!"
He was then promptly kicked out of Burger King.
Hiei jumped into the ball pit.
"AH! It's the sea of bright, cheerful colors! Must… hurry…!" He screamed in agony.
He got into a tunnel on the other side of the pit. A ball fell into the tunnel with him.
"They're attacking!" Hiei proclaimed.
He struggled with the perfectly inanimate ball. Then he realized that was not civilized and put the ball down.
"Now, Mr. Ball, I am on a quest to return my crown of all that is dark and mysterious to my dark and mysterious head. How about you?" Hiei calmly explained.
"…" Mr. Ball said.
Hiei looked interested, "I see. Go on."
"…" said Mr. Ball.
Hiei tried to jump and hit his head on the top of the tunnel.
"Ah-hah! She stole your royal crown of all that is round and circular shaped, too! She is a thief!"
"…!" Mr. Ball exclaimed.
"Then we shall both go and retrieve our crowns together!" He took Mr. Ball and continued up the tunnel.
Three hours later, after Mr. Ball convinced Hiei to stop trying to climb up the slide, and was now in a tunnel that lead right to Mana's lair.
Mana's voice echoed down tunnel, "my precious…" She was petting the paper crown like Gollum.
Hiei snuck up behind Mana and chucked Mr. Ball at the back of her head, hitting a perfect bulls-eye.
Mana stopped for a moment, then roared, "AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!"
She stepped on Mr. Ball and crushed him.
Hiei looked horrified and started to flip out.
"NOOOOOOOOO! Not Mr. Ball! Mr. Ball, can your hear me? If you see a long tunnel, STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!"
Mana then shouted, "Who are you and what have you done with my son!?"
Hiei stopped and stared, with a wide-eyed expression, "You have a son?"
Mana looked indifferent, "No, but it seemed like the thing to say in the moment."
Crickets chirped for a little while.
Hiei then stopped enjoying the sound of the crickets to yell, "I WILL AVENGE MR. BALL!"
He ripped his cloak off, slipped his katana out of its sheath, brushed his teeth, and then, "Ah..."
Mana looked almost like she was meditating now.
"I have taught you well, young padawan, but you do not have the force—of the play-place ball-pit balls!" She then pelted Hiei with loads of balls.
Hiei screamed, "Ahhhh! The bright colors! It burns!"
He then unsheathed his katana and began slicing the balls recklessly, accidentally cutting some of Mana's hair in the process.
Mana blinked, then roared loudly.
"Now my ebil crown of teh ickle guppehs doesn't look right!" She had a few tears running down her face. "You RUINED it, you big meanie!" she went down a slide, crying.
Hiei jumped into the slide headfirst.
Police were waiting at the bottom of the slide and captured Hiei, while Mana was standing off to the side, laughing evilly.
-At the police station-
Yuusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara came into the station.
Hiei's sugar high had worn off and he didn't remember a thing.
He sneered at Kuwabara, "What is the Baka doing here?"
Kurama answered, "Helping you get out of jail."
Hiei's sneer only grew, "Is this what you pitiful ningens call a jail?"
Kuwabara looked scared, "Guys, this is strange, Hiei hasn't insulted anyone the whole time we've been here! He's just asking questions!"
"Could you get any dumber?" Hiei asked him.
"Another question!" Kuwabara shook Hiei by the shoulders. "SNAP OUT OF IT!"
Hiei smashed Kuwabara on the head with his fist.
"Don't ever touch me again," he glared at Kuwabara.
Kuwabara looked surprised, rubbing his head and saying, "Hey! It worked!"
Kurama and Yuusuke anime-fell.
"C'mon everybody, foods on me at burger king!" Kuwabara shouted as he ran out the door.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-The End-
Mana: There's a sequel out now called, "Hiei and the bus ride of DOOM!" so look for that if you enjoyed this. :) Thanks for reading!
