You couldn't see me coming with the lights out,
You're gonna find out I'll leave you raining on your own parade.
Gung-ho you let your guard down, you're nothing but a write-out,
I'll leave you raining on your own parade.
'Outrage' ~Capital Lights
I idly tapped my fingers on the table, listening to the president of a major corporation speak. I wasn't sure which corporation it was and honestly, I could have cared less. We'd been at this meeting for over an hour. I glanced down at my watch—2:35. I didn't want to see the date. All that would have done was make me eager to get home to my family. I needed to bring Sam a gift to show I was truly sorry. I really hadn't meant to hit her. Her reaction and the look on her face were unforgettable. She was crushed. She trusted me and I had hurt her. Hopefully five months had given her enough time to heal.
"Mr. Kintobor." I looked up.
"Yes?" Had I missed something important?
"Aren't you going to get that?" the president of the corporation queried. My phone was ringing again.
"I can ignore the call." It was Sydney.
"No; that's the third time it's rang. Answer it."
"Excuse me," I replied while getting up. I left the room, shutting the door behind me. I flipped my phone open. "This had better be important."
"It's Sam," Sydney said gravely. I automatically changed from my role of businessman to king of the universe. Something was wrong.
"What's wrong?"
She sighed in annoyance. "Can you just come home now?"
"No, I am in the middle of a meeting in Tokyo."
"Are you saying your job is more important than your wife, the queen? Your soul mate?" Sydney snapped.
"Look, I'll get on the next flight to L.A. after this meeting, alright?" I said, trying to sound patient. There was a long pause.
"Fine. Just hurry." Click. I shut my phone and walked back into the meeting. The faces of the businesspeople seemed to be at ease. Great, I missed the rest of the meeting.
"Mr. Kintobor? Is everything alright?" my boss, Mr. Tailor, asked.
"No, my wife needs me," I said while grabbing my coat.
"Trouble with the missus?" one of my coworkers commented. I never did like him.
"I have to leave for L.A. I'm sorry but I won't be able to make the rest of the meetings." I grabbed my suitcase and quickly shoved papers into it. I left without saying a word more. I walked down the hall and pressed the button that called the elevator. I stepped into the elevator and rode it to the roof. As soon as I was sure no one else was present, I orbed to my hotel room. I packed my belongings, wondering what could possibly be wrong with my wife. I checked out of the hotel and hailed a taxi.
The driver was talkative, not a good thing. I knew Russian fairly well but I could not speak Japanese. I paid the driver once he pulled up to the airport. I checked in and waited for a flight to L.A. Eventually, I was on a plane to L.A. with other businesspeople. I however was the only one in first-class. I was thankful I had a couple of books. I knew the flight was going to be long, especially since I hadn't the faintest idea as to why I was going home…
- - - -
"I'm home!" I called, dropping my suitcases. I glanced around, seeing a vacant throne room. There was usually somebody there so it was strange to see the room so empty. I looked at my watch, remembering there was a several hours' time difference between Earth and my kingdom. Everyone was in bed. I lugged my suitcases to my bedroom, happy that I'd be sleeping soundly with Sam again. I missed her head being on my chest during the night, her arm wrapped lazily around me. I flipped on the light after I'd opened the door, knowing Sam wouldn't wake. She was quite the heavy sleeper.
To my surprise, the bed was made, like no one had been in the room. I settled into my home, wondering if Sam had a show that night. I found my laptop in a pile of dirty clothes after I dumped my suitcases out. I turned it on, setting it on my bed. I went to Sam's fansite, checking her tour dates—no shows had been scheduled since almost two years ago. I supposed she could have been at a party or out with some friends. I put my clothes in the laundry and lay down on the bed after loosening my tie. It'd been difficult to sleep in Tokyo since it's one of the busiest cities on Earth. I rested my eyes for a moment and the next thing I knew, Sydney was shaking me. "What?"
"Come on," Sydney said, literally dragging me out of bed. Bane, Cale, and October were behind her. I got up, brushing her hands away.
"Why are all of you in my bedroom?" I queried.
"Don't you wanna find your wife?" October answered, hiding behind Cale, her soul mate. I guess she knew I still didn't like her much.
"How long has she been missing?" I asked.
"It's not like that," Bane spoke. "Sam leaves early in the evening, after dinner usually. She's always dressed nice, too. She'll be gone all night, coming home in the later part of morning and sleeps until dinner. Then, she'll repeat the process. Sometimes, she won't come home for days. She'll look sick some days also."
Sam sick? That didn't seem right. She'd only been sick once since I'd known her. "How had she been sick?"
"She'll break out in cold sweats and chills. Some days she's delirious and in a state of euphoria, other days she'll be depressed or really anxious," October explained. "She'll be confused at one point and then nauseous the next."
"We've seen her hangin' around a few bars and clubs," Cale added. I rubbed my forehead tiredly. Sam was drinking again. She never quite could handle being drunk.
"Let's get started. This will take awhile," I spoke. I snapped my fingers, casual clothes taking the place of my suit…
- - - -
In three hours, we'd been to six clubs and four bars. We were walking up to another bar, one I knew to be Sam's favorite. We sat at a table in the back, ordering some non-alcoholic drinks. We needed to stay alert if we were going to find my wife. Besides, we had October and Cale with us and they were underage.
"There she is!" Sydney said, pointing to a dark corner of the bar. I didn't see her at first, but Sam was with a bunch of friends. I didn't recognize any of them. I knew all of Sam's friends and those weren't any I'd seen before. A waitress brought over a tray of shot glasses to their table. There was six glasses left after they each had taken one.
"Snively, she's reaching for another one," October spoke, shock evident in her voice. I knew Sam liked to drink a lot but how many shots had she had already? She and one of her friends, a man that appeared to be her age, got up and walked into a back room. I got up, grabbed one of my Senshi, and followed Sam. We went upstairs and into a room. I realized I brought October with me. Great. She found a vent on the floor and was looking through it, motioning for me. "I've got her."
"Good." I knelt down beside October, looking over her shoulder. Sam had that man cornered.
"Sorry but I can't sell to you this time," he said. I could tell by her posture that she was upset.
"What do you want? Money? Drugs? Sex?" she asked. Her last offer surprised me, even if she seemed desperate.
"I can't sell you this," the man replied.
"James, you're killing me." Sam was silent for a moment. "I'll pay you triple whatever the other guy is offering."
"Sam, you do realize you're offering to pay over $500 for a gram of heroin," James spoke. Heroin?! Sam was doing drugs again? Why? It didn't make sense. Then again, I suppose drug users didn't need to make sense.
"Yeah, I do realize that. Cash or check?" Sam snapped ferociously. James acted startled. "I 'need' this and a new needle."
"Sam, no. I'm not turning you lose with heroin. You will O.D. without someone with you." James seemed to care about Sam. I couldn't tell if he cared about her in a way that showed he was infatuated with her.
"I won't be alone," my wife protested.
"Oh?" He wasn't the only one who wanted to know who she would be with.
"I'll be with you, silly," Sam spoke, her voice giving away that she was smiling.
"What?"
"You've been with me from night one."
"Okay, fine…Cash if you have it."
Sam pulled a wad of money from her jean jacket's inside pocket. "How much?"
I leaned forward. "$516, Sam."
"' Kay." She paid the exact amount carelessly. James gave her a small container and…a hypodermic needle? As far as I knew, Sam had slight fear of needles. "Hit me. I need it."
I knew what that meant. Sam was addicted again. It sickened me to know that she let herself destroy herself. "Sam? Is something wrong?"
I refocused my attention. Sam was on her knees holding her stomach. Was she ill? "No, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, come on. Give me a hit." Sam removed her jacket, holding out her arm. James extracted some of the liquid and inserted the needle into Sam's arm. She drew a sharp breath and slowly exhaled as he emptied the drug into her system. I just witnessed Sam, my wife, take heroin.
"No," October whispered. Sam and James got up and left the room they were in.
"Come on," I said quietly. I helped her up and we hurried downstairs in time to see Sam dancing with James. I smiled; she's always been a graceful dancer. My smile faded when my wife began dancing flirtatiously and very close to James. I scowled; I didn't want 'anyone' touching my beloved angel. I looked over at October, who mirrored my expression. We found Sydney, Bane, and Cale and sat down.
"Well?" Sydney prompted. I was too melancholy to glare at her.
"Sam's on drugs again," I muttered.
"What?" Sydney yelped.
"Look!" Cale spoke, pointing at the bar's entrance. Sam was 'leaving' with James and she appeared to be in a state of euphoria. "Where's she going?"
"I don't know but we're going to find out," I said…
- - - -
We carefully followed Sam and James down the alley behind the bar. They went into what appeared to be an abandoned apartment building. We waited impatiently for a light to come on. We noticed a dim glow of light at the top left side of the building. I orbed up to the top, seeing old skylights that gave away Sam's location. I barely took notice of the others following me. I was too focused on my wife…
- - - -
I happily welcomed the feeling of being high. I smiled at James, who brought me a plate of food—I was so hungry. He sat beside me at the table and we ate silently. He's been my guardian angel since Snively left. He's helped me with my kids and has given me everything I needed.
"Sam?" James queried. I glanced up.
"Yeah?"
"You okay?" He was concerned about me. I liked it. I smiled again.
"Of course." I felt bad about not ever inviting him to the palace but I was to keep everything to do with my kingdom a secret. I got up and sat down on his bed. He couldn't afford a couch and refused to let me get him one. "I'm just tired."
He smiled warmly at me. "I can see that. Do you need to crash here for tonight?"
Agh, did he have to be so sweet and so—so…so frickin' gorgeous? My heart melted when he smiled. I felt so torn between James and Snively. Snively is my soul mate and we're destined to be together, but James…James made me feel alive. And that's what has been making me reconsider bonding with Snively. Maybe he's not my true soul mate. I mean, what soul mate would abandon his own mate?
"Sam?" James queried, snapping me back to reality. If I was able to focus that well, then heroin wasn't doing its job.
"I don't 'need' to crash here but I want to," I replied. I just realized he moved from the table to the bed. Then again, maybe heroin was doing its job after all. I shifted my position so I'd be closer to him. "Please?"
"Alright but straight to sleep," James said. Damn. I was hoping for some quality play time. He got up and turned off the light before joining me. I lay down on his bed and felt him lay down beside me. I rolled over to see his face. "What?"
I slid closer to him, trying not to giggle at his helplessly uncomfortable look. "No goodnight kiss?"
"Sam, I don't know. Your husband could get home any day." He was worried about Snively? Pathetic.
"It doesn't matter. I can't go back to him after he did that to me," I snapped, getting up. "He hit me! How am I supposed to let that go?"
Tears began spilling from my eyes. James wrapped me in his arms, hugging me. "You have to try, Sam."
"He hit me, James." I tried to block that out of my thoughts for five months. "And then I met you. I'm so confused."
"Shh, it's the heroin, Sam. Why don't you lie down?" James suggested. He walked me to the bed and made me lay down. I started babbling, caring less about what I said. I didn't have to make sense. He held me tenderly, trying to calm me down. I wriggled out of his grip and turned. I pressed my lips to his roughly, tired of hiding my feelings. He tried to break the kiss off but I wouldn't let him. Then he started to kiss back, leaning me backwards…
- - - -
"Snively, don't!" Bane and Cale grabbed me by the arms while Sydney and October put crystals around me. Bane and Cale let go right before Sydney placed the last crystal. They trapped me because…well, I wasn't sure why. I just wanted to stop Sam from ruining our marriage. She was kissing James—she—she was betraying me. I had to get to James before he went any further with my wife. I kicked at the crystals, trying to get free. "You'll give us away!"
"I don't care," I hissed. "Get him off her!"
"Shut up before I drain you," October threatened. Oddly, I fell silent. "They're done kissing—he stopped it. Keep quiet so you won't give us away."
"Fine," I agreed curtly.
"They're sleeping," Cale spoke softly, peering through the skylight.
"Good," I replied. Sam couldn't have been thinking straight. I mean, she was high. She didn't know what she was doing. But…she acted like she was infatuated with James. I somehow expected that. She gave obvious signs. She looked at him the same way she looked at me. She flirted constantly with him. And it wasn't as if he was hideous; he was good-looking enough for Sam to notice.
/Snively?/ Sam asked softly. She wanted me?
/Yes?/ She had sounded tired so I spoke in soft gentle tones.
/When are you coming home?/
/Tomorrow./ I could feel her yawn. It was strange that I felt that. Maybe our soul bond was getting stronger.
/Will you sing to me?/ She's never requested that before.
/Why?/
/I can't sleep./
/What do you want to hear?/
/Hallelujah./ I knew that one….well, at least a small part of it.
/It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift. The baffled king composing hallelujah. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Hallelujah, hallelujah./ She sighed in contentment and was soundly sleeping. She loved that song. Hmm, maybe I should—no! If I covered that song, she'd push me even more to sing with her. During any free time I had while I was on business, I'd play the piano. Yes, yes, I know. My father forced me to take piano lessons when I was a young boy. I suppose the lessons just stuck with me. I just never told Sam about it. I haven't told her a lot of things. I sat down on the ground and slowly nodded off…
- - - -
I woke up, feeling the sun's rays caress my face. I rolled over to see James sleeping. I spoke to Snively last night and he seemed to be okay, although his voice was strained. He sang for me. I honestly didn't think he'd do it, but he did. James rested an arm on me. I nestled into him, feeling confused.
I loved Snively but…I loved James. I just didn't know what to do. I guessed that choosing Snively was the right decision…at least to the world. I couldn't help but focus on the negative aspects of our life together. We fought several times a month, we were separated for two and a half years, and it was almost like the fire in our relationship was dying. We were rarely intimate and we barely spoke with each other.
But we were king and queen of the universe and we were supposed to be a team. A loving, caring power duo that could take on anything and be victorious. Before, I would think about when he proposed to me and try to picture life without Snively. I couldn't. Now, I could and I saw myself with James. I've even tried my name with his—Sam Lanter…and then I tried his with mine—James Brody. I liked the latter better.
"Sam?" Speak of the devil himself. "You okay?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You look upset." I rested my head on his bare chest.
"I was just thinking." Out of nowhere, he kissed my cheek. I had to have looked startled because he smiled. "What?"
"I can have fun, too," James insisted. I sat up and got in his lap. Maybe I was gonna get my play time after all.
"Prove it," I ordered playfully. James pulled my face to his, giving me a long, wonderful kiss. I felt him lean me back and roll me onto his bed. Within three minutes, my shirt was off and James was feeling me up and I loved it. I couldn't remember the last time I had fun during sex. Then, I heard a crash above us. I unhappily broke off my kiss with James.
"What?" James queried while playing with my hair.
"The skylights," I replied. "Someone's here."
"Just the pigeons, sweetheart."
- - - -
Sam had to have paranoia problems. She thought someone was at the skylights. I began kissing her, feeling a little bad. Here she was, feeling alone and desperately needing attention and I was taking advantage of her needs. I've kissed Sam before, when she had that confident, sensual kiss that I literally craved. Now her kiss is insecure and meek. I had to help her. Sam broke off the kiss again, looking upset. I kissed her forehead, trying to bring comfort to her mind.
"Sam, I promise no one's there," I said.
"Then why is my husband glaring down at us?" she whispered frantically. I looked up at the skylights and saw five unfamiliar faces. I just knew the one in the middle had to be her husband—he looked downright enraged. I slowly got off Sam and grabbed my shirt, slipping it on. By the time I turned around, Sam already had her shirt and shoes on and was tying her shoes.
"What do we do?" I whispered. I slipped on my shoes, glad I didn't have to tie them.
"First, get to my lambo. Then go to my doctor." She grabbed her purse and car keys before grabbing me by the arm and heading to the door.
"The doctor? I replied as we started down the stairs. "Why?"
"I haven't been feeling well," she said.
"Oh, okay."
"Oh yeah," she continued, "you know the Senshi?"
"Yeah?" We were almost to the door.
"I'm part of them, or, more specifically, I'm pretty much the leader. I guess you could call me their queen," Sam spoke indifferently. We walked out the door.
"You're WHAT?!" She gave me an apologetic look. She started running, dragging me with her. We got to her lambo and she quickly unlocked the doors. We got in and Sam immediately started the car and took off.
- - - -
I drove my lambo as fast as the speed limit allowed me to. I pulled into the parking lot of the clinic, five minutes later. James helped me out of my lambo and went with me inside the medical building. Within fifteen minutes, we were sitting in a small room. The nurse had taken several tests, including that stupid urinary test.
"You're a Senshi?" James queried softly. Guess he hadn't gotten over the initial shock yet.
"Yeah, and a damn good one," I replied. My stomach growled—I was so hungry.
"Which one?" he asked. I knew that was coming.
"I can't tell you." He looked down. Telling someone you're a Senshi was just as awkward as telling someone you're pregnant. Not my idea of a good time.
"I guess I understand."
"Sorry, that's just the way it is," I said. There was a knock on the door before the nurse came in. Great, it was a different nurse. I hated it when they switched nurses. Nonetheless, I had to be polite. Dammit. "Hi."
"Sam, I have some news for you," the nurse said.
"Yeah?" I got up, ready to leave after being given the information I needed.
"I really think you should sit down," the nurse replied. I did as told and sat. This had to be big news. "Ms. Brody, you—"
"-Kintobor." If they're going to address me by last name, they might as well address me by the right one.
"What?"
"My married name is Kintobor."
"Alright." The nurse seemed annoyed. It wasn't my fault she didn't know my name. "Mrs. Kintobor, you're—"
- - - -
Waiting for Sam to come home was like waiting for death to claim you. I paced the throne room anxiously, hoping Sam would hurry up and get home. We'd waited for her for over three and a half hours. Caleb and Serenity were at play by the thrones, not knowing something was going on. A guard opened one of the throne room's doors.
"Presenting, Queen Sam and Mr. James Kintobor," the guard announced as my wife and her, ahem, friend came in. She looked so nervous. I would be too if I was caught having an affair. Oh wait, I was. And it was horrible.
"Hey," Sam said quietly. She hung her head in shame. "Um, this is James. He's a, um, friend."
"A friend that kisses you?" I asked. She winced. "And the same friend I saw on top of you earlier this morning?"
"It wasn't anything serious," James blurted. Desperate to make me like him. It wasn't working. "W-we were wasted and weren't thinkin' straight, man. It was nothing serious."
"You both were also high." Sam looked startled. I suppose she didn't expect me to know that.
"U-um, yeah," she stammered. She glanced at the door. My muscles tensed, ready to run after her in case she made a break for it. "Listen, can we talk? Alone?"
What was she getting at? I nodded. We walked out to the hall, shutting the doors behind us. "W-wow, it's been awhile, huh?"
Sam's nervousness was beginning to annoy me. "Quit beating around the bush, Samantha."
She flinched. She couldn't stand being addressed by her full name. "I-I went to the doctor today and they ran some tests and…"
"Sam, finish what you were saying to me."
"Okay, um…I'll be blunt about it, okay, b-baby?"
"Sam."
"James and I were really high a few months ago and had sex and now I'm five months pregnant," she spoke quickly.
"You're…what?" It suddenly grew dark and I felt like I was falling before I felt nothing.
- - - -
I woke to see Sam's concerned and scared face looking at me. I could tell she was overly upset because she had tears in her beautiful eyes.
"Are you okay?" I glanced around the room. I was in the medical wing of my palace….What happened?
"Yes, I think." She kissed my forehead in what seemed like relief. I noticed James was behind my wife. His hand was on her waist. Everything clicked. Sam and James met the night I left for business and had intimate relations. They'd been around each other for five months and probably developed romantic feelings for one another. It sickened me but…Sam was happy and her happiness was what mattered.
"Snively?" I glanced up and saw her stomach. She's pregnant? She didn't look it—no wait, I could just barely make out a small bump under her shirt.
"Yes?"
"I'm gonna go get lunch—I'm starving." She had to feed two now, now that she was pregnant. I watched Sam and James leave, unsure. I knew Sam was still very much in love with me, I could feel it, but I could tell she felt so restrained, trapped. We had roughly four months to figure out our life together and I had a feeling that me remaining as a romantic part of Sam's future was not likely.
- - - -
2 Months, 3 Weeks Later…
Sam had a nice, round belly. She was seven months and three weeks along. She had the nice glow that all pregnant women had. She was so happy about having another kid, but I was scared. I told her about my son, Parker. Sam understood perfectly. She said she wasn't allowed to see her kids for two years. I haven't seen Parker for longer. He was with his mother.
"James?" I looked up. Sam seemed concerned. "What's wrong?"
"Just thinking about Parker," I replied. She glanced down. "How old is he?"
"Seven."
"Ah, a year older than the twins." She held my hand and smiled. I nodded at her enormous belly.
"Why don't you want to know what the baby is?"
"I want it to be a surprise," she replied simply. I glanced at the board game we were playing. It was now disbanded.
"Snively hates me," I blurted.
"He doesn't hate you," Sam spoke. "He's just mad because he feels like I betrayed him."
"Doesn't make me feel any better."
She kissed me. "It should."
"I'm guilty by association," I protested playfully. She laughed and it sounded wonderful. It was like bells chiming but better.
"Whatever," she giggled. Then, she acted like she was in a lot of pain. "Do you have any hits? I hurt."
"Uh, no heroin, sorry."
"Well, do you have anything else?"
"Meth."
"That's fine."
- - - -
I watched in revulsion as James gave Sam an injection of meth. They're destroying their baby. But, I wasn't going to step in. After all, it wasn't my child. The kid was going to be born abnormal, that was obvious but not to James and Sam. I orbed to the kitchen and began making a sandwich.
"They're such a happy family," I muttered sarcastically, slamming things on the counter. "The perfect, happy family!"
"Troubles with Sam?" a voice asked. I dropped a dish and turned. Morgan was back for a visit. "Don't bother filling me in. Alicia already told me everything."
"Great," I replied. I glanced down at the dish—it was broken. Wonderful. Then, to make things worse, James came running in. "What?"
I then noticed his panicked expression and knew. "S-Sam's in labor!"
"And?" I began picking up pieces of the broken dish, knowing Sam would go into labor early. He watched me, bewildered.
"You don't want to be there?" he questioned. Why did he care if I was there?
"No," I said flatly. "It's not mine."
"But it's Sam. Don't you want to be there for her?"
"No, I don't." James began to walk away.
"That's really going to hurt her, man. Hurt her a lot worse than labor." He finally left. Good.
"You know, he has a point," Morgan said. I scowled.
"It's not mine. I shouldn't 'have' to be there," I pointed out.
"What about Sam? She's your soul mate. So it's not your kid. So what? Get your wife some flowers and give them to her as a gift. It'll make her happy and stop your guys' bickering. If you need me, I'll be in the stables. Sam's not the only one who's had a baby." Morgan picked up an apple and left. I thought about what she said while picking up an apple and eating it. She made sense. Why make myself and Sam miserable about her accident with James? I finished my apple and left the kitchen, heading down to the palace's gardens.
- - - -
I had a large bouquet of white lilies in my arms while walking down to the medical wing of the palace. I was trying to figure out what to say to Sam. I somehow knew that I needed to plan what I was going to say because seeing Sam with a newborn would make it difficult to concentrate. I saw some of the medical personnel pass in and out of a room—Sam's room. Then, I noticed a horrified-looking nurse come out of Sam's room with a bundle. I had a feeling that the nurse had to wrestle the infant from my wife's arms. I knocked on the door and went inside.
"Hey, beautiful," I said and then I saw Sam's grief-stricken face. "What's wrong?"
Sam wouldn't look me in the eyes. She was silent for a long, painful moment and then let out a heart wrenching sob. James looked at me. "Sam had a stillborn."
I blanked. A stillborn? I knew it was going to be bad but…a stillborn?
"Sam?" I asked quietly.
"Leave me alone," she mumbled. James got up and walked over to me. He nodded towards the door; he wanted to speak with me without Sam. We left the room and spoke outside with the door shut.
- - - -
"What do I do about Sam?" I queried. "She's a mess."
Snively shrugged indifferently. It was like he didn't care about Sam anymore. "I can speak with her if you would like."
"Fine." He went inside Sam's room and I cracked the door open to watch. He sat down in the chair beside Sam's bed and began speaking softly to her. She tried to get up but he stopped her. He sat on the bed and she fell into his arms, crying hard. Snively just sat there, letting her crush the flowers he had in his arms. I guess he was going to come see her after all.
They had great chemistry together. They didn't have to talk to understand each other. They were happily in love and I was in the way. I watched as they kissed. I turned away. I had to leave for Sam to be happy again. I was just worried that Snively was going to abandon her and she'd be in the same mess all over again.
- - - -
I was in the medical ward for days, possibly weeks. There wasn't a calendar in the room so I had no way of knowing. Neither James nor Snively came to see me much, and when they did, they didn't say much. My mom and Simon came the most often. It was obvious that they were a couple. Mother made Snively talk to me about seeing a psychiatrist. I agreed, knowing Mother would be furious if I didn't agree.
I didn't like the psychiatrist. He only made me feel guilty. He constantly scolded me for doing drugs and not taking 'good' care of my kids. He made me feel worse when he brought up my stillborn. I sobbed hours after he left. No one would come to see me during those hours. I was so miserable. I needed out—I needed an escape.
I looked up when the door shut. Mother and Simon had come back for another visit. Oh joy. But, both seemed like they wanted to talk so I supposed I would listen.
"Samantha," Mother began, "I have told you that Raciel is not your father."
"Yeah and?" I pressed irritably.
"Samantha, Simon is your biological father," Mother whispered. I sat still, trying to register what she said.
"But, Mother, that would mean-"
"-that we were in an affair," Simon spoke.
"Damn Mother, you had it goin' on," I laughed. And for the first time I could remember, Mother and Simon blushed.
"There's more," Simon said after regaining his composure. "Your mother and I are soul mates."
"Well no kidding," I snorted.
"Oh?" Mother asked.
"Well, you had to have expected that. After all, you 'did' have the best kid in the universe," I replied. They smiled, and then soon, they left and I was alone again.
- - - -
The next day was more enjoyable. Snively signed me out of the medical ward in the middle of my breakfast. He knocked on my door and came in with a dozen red roses and six Easter lilies.
"Hey Beautiful," he greeted as he sat down beside me. I had to acknowledge him with a smile since I was eating. As soon as I was finished, I gave him a kiss. "Ready to get out of here?"
"Duh!" I got up out of the bed. "Wait, I need clothes."
"Already taken care of," he replied. "I brought a set of clothes last night while you were asleep."
"I need a shower. Take one with me?" I queried as I picked the clothes up from the table. He was silent for a long time. Did he really have to think about his answer?
"That's okay," he finally answered. I watched him glance at me. He hadn't seen me, really seen me, since the night before Xavier's death. He really wanted to shower with me. I had to tease him—the temptation was too great. I opened the bathroom door and slipped off my shirt slowly. My back was to him but I could feel his eyes on me. He was looking me over.
"Are you sure?" I asked playfully.
"Y-yes," he stammered. He was suddenly behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my shoulder and neck. I turned my head in time for him to kiss the corner of my lips. I tried to turn towards him but he pushed the door shut and began undressing the both of us. Wow, he was desperate. Soon, we were both in the shower, kissing, soap splattered everywhere.
"I thought you didn't want to take a shower with me," I teased. Snively gave me a dirty look but smiled.
"I didn't at first," he replied as he helped rinse my hair. His hands were at my waist now. I knew what he wanted—he made it too obvious.
"Baby, not right now," I protested gently. He looked confused. Damn; he looked good confused. I smiled, trying to be sweet—not a strong point of mine. "We're not having sex right now. I want you to suffer all day before we go to bed tonight."
"O-okay," he spoke, wide-eyed. I shoved him into the shower wall and gave him a passionate kiss, the water splashing on us. "I-I'm going to go play golf."
"Okay, baby," I replied. He rinsed the soap off himself before getting out and toweling off. I peeked around the shower curtain. He'd been working out which was odd because he hated to work out. I could tell he was sore. He was moving much slower than usual. I hurried and finished showering. I got out of the shower and began to massage his shoulders.
"Thanks," he spoke. He left the room and left me to dress.
- - - -
Sam. Why did all my thoughts and emotions revolve around Sam? I swung the club and hit the golf ball a good distance across the field. As I was hitting the golf balls, I thought about Sam. She didn't seem to be healthy lately. She was usually upset but she seemed to be in a good mood this morning when we were taking a shower. Why did she have to dangle sex in my face? Just thinking about her kisses and raw body sent cold and warm shivers down every vertebrae of my spine.
"Hey, watcha doin'?" I missed the ball and messed up my shoulder. I gritted my teeth. James.
"What does it look like?" I snapped, just barely keeping my patience.
"Sam was talking about going to L.A. later and wanted me to ask you if you would come too," James spoke.
"No," I replied flatly. I turned to return to hitting golf balls.
"Why?" I sighed in annoyance before turning to face him again.
"I like all of Sam's friends but I absolutely cannot stand you! So will you leave?" I said. His whole body drooped.
"I'll—uh tell Sam that you don't want to go." James turned away from me and walked away. I enjoyed the silence as I drove golf balls across the green. I wasn't sure how long I was alone but I heard the faint twittering, jingle-jangle sound of someone who had just orbed. I turned around reluctantly to see Sam's disappointed face.
"Why don't you want to go with me and James to Earth?" she queried. She acted hurt and looked innocent because of it.
"I don't want to be around James." I started to turn around but she stopped me.
"Snively, you're going to be around people you don't like over the centuries. Get over it. Please come," Sam spoke.
"Fine." I orbed the golf balls to the bucket and carried my golf equipment while walking back to the palace with my wife. "Centuries?"
"Yeah." She didn't seem to be concerned about her verbal slip-up.
"That doesn't make any sense," I said.
"It does when you're in the Moon Kingdom. We age slower than mortals."
"We're immortal?" She smiled, acting like she wanted to giggle.
"No. Senshi are the closest thing to immortals as you can get. Our kingdom has been enchanted since it was created. We all have to die; it just takes our people more time. Luckily, it takes us much slower to age, physically that is. I'm really supposed to be twenty-seven hundred years old but because I was on Earth and Mobius for most of my life, I physically aged faster. Make sense?"
I nodded. "Yes, it does. There's James."
"Hey," James spoke calmly. Him being calm was a pleasant surprise. I set the golf club and basket of golf balls down.
"Ready?" Sam asked while opening a portal.
"Yeah." Hmm, maybe I could learn to tolerate James after all.
- - - -
I walked between the loves of my life as we walked the streets of L.A. The best part was the fact that the paparazzi seemed to be taking a day off. We stopped by a small floral shop so I could pick up a bouquet of flowers. I wanted to show them where my dad was buried. I walked ahead of them at the cemetery on purpose in hopes that Snively and James would get to know each other better. They'd been getting along great since we got to Earth.
I found Dad's tombstone and laid my flowers across the base of it. I sat down across from the grave, my legs drawn up to my chest. It'd been years since I'd been there. I remember the day Mom told me Dad was recruited for the war. I locked myself in my room for hours and cried. It was one of the worst days of my life.
"Sam?" Snively was kneeling beside me and James stood next to him. "You okay?"
"Yeah; I was just thinking."
"Well, we're ready when you are," Snively replied.
"One more minute." He nodded, stood, and backed away. Dad wouldn't be proud of me. He'd be disappointed. I wish he was still here. I stood and we left. "Can we stop and get something to eat?"
"Why?" James asked.
"Meh, I missed lunch." Snively smiled and shook his head.
"But we ate lunch at the Solar like an hour ago," James said.
"Dude, that was like a snack."
"We'll stop somewhere so you won't starve," Snively spoke playfully. I tossed my hair behind my back dramatically.
"That's all I ask," I answered. They laughed. James looked down at his watch.
"I gotta go. I have a hearing to see if I can have visitation rights. I might get to see Parker again," he explained. I kissed his cheek before he walked off.
"Good luck!" I called. Snively and I walked down the sidewalk as James began crossing the street. I turned my head at the sound of a semi honking and screamed.
- - - -
I grabbed Sam from behind before she could move and do something reckless. I tried to turn her away from the accident scene but her kicking and clawing at me made it impossible to do so. I suppose seeing the blood was too much for my wife. She fell to the ground sobbing. I kneeled down to let her sob into my chest and as I did so, a bruised peach touched my knee. It was from the truck that had hit James. An ambulance pulled in immediately…and so did the paparazzi. I hid Sam the best I could from the paparazzi while trying to explain what happened to the paramedics.
"That man is James Lanter and he was on his way to court for familial reasons. I suppose he was hit by the peach truck while crossing the street," I spoke, upsetting Sam even more. I noticed other paramedics tending to the truck's driver, who looked almost as bad as James did. He should; I mean, he 'did' manage to flip the vehicle.
"W-what's James' cond-dition?" Sam choked. At least she was trying to calm herself down a little. One of the medics frowned.
"I'm sorry but he's dead. I'm sorry for your loss." My wife was silent for a long moment. It unnerved me to the core.
"Thanks," she replied thinly. She looked at me. /Let's go. They need to do their work./
/Are you sure?/ I asked.
/Yeah; this place is crawling with paparazzi./ She seemed alright so I agreed. We walked to a secluded park and used a portal to get home…
- - - -
The days following James' death were strange. She spent a lot of time by herself. She didn't want me. I didn't know if she was sleeping, let alone eating. Our kids avoided her—they knew something was wrong. I passed her bedroom and stopped. I had to check on her. I needed to hear her voice. I turned and let myself in her room. She was sitting at the large window, staring at nothing. She looked ill.
"Sam? Love?" I queried. Sam glanced over at me. But she gave no answer. I walked over to her cautiously—I knew she was unpredictable. I very carefully placed my hand on her shoulder. I could see a somewhat large book in her lap, her hand holding it tightly, unopened. Her Bible. I hadn't seen it for years. I honestly didn't think she had it still. I picked her up and carried her to her bed to make her more comfortable. I sat by her, noticing she still had a strong hold on her Bible. Sam had a pained, weary but thoughtful expression on her face. "Are you alright?"
"I am fine," she mumbled, her voice hoarse. "Why?"
"You haven't quite been yourself. Sam, everyone's concerned about you."
"I'm fine, I promise."
"Are you sure?" I pressed.
"I've just…been doing some soul searching." She looked at me. She'd been crying. She'd been putting herself through a lot of torture. "I've screwed up—screwed up big. I've done drugs, let myself become an alcoholic, slept around, and turned my back against God and my family. I don't know what to do."
Confession is a difficult thing. I would know. I've confessed to Sam. Sam had unknowingly coaxed me into confession the first time I had gone to her church. It was a miserable experience but I walked away feeling different—better. She'd just confessed to me so she had to feel sort of better. "Well…what do you think you should do?"
"Die?"
"Sam…" She looked down in shame.
"I don't know." I took her hands in mine, looking straight into her eyes.
"Repent. That's all I can tell you. Fix the situation. Do whatever it takes," I said. Sam just stared ahead at my eyes. I shook her by the shoulders. "Do you understand me?!"
"Yeah." She wore a thoughtful look on her face now. She was considering something. "Mom is moving to a small town in Illinois soon and said she'd found a good church. I'm…considering about checking it out. I guess that's a start."
I kissed her forehead. "Yes, it is. Now, let's do something with our kids. They need time with their mother."
She smiled and we got up to find our kids. Life was returning to normal.
The End!
A.N.
Wow, the end of the beginning of the fourth series. So, there will be a lot of ups and downs in this series and I want to do a lot of it in a first person perspective. I feel like I do well at it but I can do better. Plus, I want to do a lot of changes throughout the series. That's it for now!
Later!
M.P.
'Outrage' is by Capital Lights.
