In which Eerik loses a mask and Raoul finds one

Author´s note: This story is a parody on "In which Eeyore loses a tail and Pooh finds one" by A.A. Milne. So if you´re not familiar with that, I suggest you get out your old copy of "Winnie-the-Pooh" and read it first.

Disclaimer: The characters from "The Phantom of the Opera" belong to Gaston Leroux/ Andrew Lloyd Webber. All elements from "Winnie-the-Pooh" belong to A.A. Milne.

The old black Phantom, Eerik, stood by himself in a gloomy corner of the opera and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself "Why, Christine?" and sometimes he thought "Wherefore, Christine?" and sometimes he thought "Inasmuch as which, Christine?" – and sometimes he didn´t quite know what he was thinking about.

So when Raoul-the-Fop came stumping along, Eerik was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little, in order to say "Raise up your hand to the level of your eyes." in a gloomy manner to him. "What´s happened to your mask?", Raoul-the-Fop said in surprise. "What has happened to it?", said Eerik. "It isn´t there!" "Are you sure?" "Well, either a mask is there or it isn´t there. You can´t make a mistake about it, and yours isn´t there!" "Then what is?" "Nothing!"

Eerik touched his face where his mask had been a little while ago. "I believe you´re right. Damn you!" "Of course I´m right.", said Raoul. "You must have left it somewhere." "Somebody must have taken it.", said Eerik. "Eerik,", Raoul said solemnly, "I, Raoul-the-Fop, will find your mask for you." "Thank you, Fop.", answered Eerik. "And still I hate you."

So Raoul-the-Fop went off to find Eerik´s mask. "If anyone knows anything about anything," said Raoul to himself, "it´s the managers who know something about something, or my name´s not Raoul-the-Fop. Which it is. So there you are.", he said.

The managers had an office which was grander than anybody else´s. "Messieurs! I require an answer! It´s Raoul speaking!" And the door opened, and the managers looked out. "Hallo, Raoul.", they said. "How´s things?" "Terrible and sad," said Raoul. "because Eerik, who is no friend of mine, has lost his mask. And he´s moping about it. So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?"

"Well," said M.Firmin. "the customary procedure in such cases is as follows." "What does Crustimoney Proseedcake mean?", said Raoul. "For I am a Fop of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me." "It means the thing to do. First, issue a reward. We write a note to say that we will give 20 000 francs to anybody who finds Eerik´s mask."

"Talking about such big things", Raoul said dreamily. "I generally have a small thing about now." M.Andre handed him some honey cake in a strange white bowl. "Handsome bowl, isn´t it?", said M.Firmin. Raoul nodded. "It reminds me of something," he said, "but I can´t think what. Where did you get it?" "We just came across it in the opera. It was hanging in Box Five, and as nobody seemed to want it, we took it, and –"

"Messieurs," said Raoul solemnly, "you made a mistake. Somebody did want it." "Who?" "Eerik. My dear enemy Eerik. He was – he was fond of it." "Fond of it?" "Attached to it.", said Raoul-the-Fop sadly.

So with these words he threw the cake out of it, and carried it back to Eerik, and when Mme.Giry had glued it on its right place, Eerik frisked about the opera. Raoul sang to himself proudly:

Who found the mask?

"I", said the Fop.

You don´t need a mob

To find a mask.