It wasn't all that late but Daryl was beat and had to be out at the Greene farm early the next morning to take a look at Herschel's beat up ol' tractor, a piece of junk he'd been urging Herschel to toss but the man was stubborn.
"What good would it do in a junkyard, Daryl? Besides, you always manage to get it up and runnin' for me."
Daryl huffed to himself. Patricia better be baking him a damn fine pie for dessert if he was gonna be spending all morning under that heap of scrap after the day he'd had at the garage. Non stop. Every schmuck and his brother was gearing up for their annual family trips to those home-away-from-home resorts the locals were always rushing off to every summer. Fucking waste of fuel in Daryl's opinion. What kind of idiot spent loads of cash on a five star hotel masquerading as a summer camp? Should be out in Georgia's woods with the rivers and wildlife; teaching them kids how to fish and make a fire. Not prancing through foxtrots and sipping freshly squeezed orange juice in crystal.
Daryl parked his bike out front of the little diner run by the sheriff's wife, Lori. The lights were still bright, despite the time, and the place looked pretty busy from out here. He wasn't much feeling like socializing but he figured he'd plant on his don't-fuck-with-me face and no one would raise a brow. The one good thing about this small town: people knew when to leave him alone. It'd taken a few more months than he'd of liked for them to get the message but a few years later and he was sure to be left to himself if he put out the right vibes.
Daryl pushed open the door with a drowned out ping of the little bell and grabbed a stool at the end of the counter. The back three tables were flooded with some of the local kids. All laughing and carrying on. A good mix of clean cut boys with combed back hair and sweet-smiling gals in pleated dresses.
Lori was scooping up their empty burger baskets and sodapops. She was smiling at the kids but her demeanor said any-louder-and-your-asses-are-at-the-curb.
Dale sat a few seats down at the counter, sipping on a mug of coffee and a half eaten slice of pie at his elbow. Daryl could hear T-Dog singing along to the old radio as he cleaned up back.
The kitchen door eased open and Beth Greene stepped out, almost as if she were trying to go unnoticed. Not by Daryl since he sat directly across from the door but he saw her downturned eyes skip towards the kids in the back.
"What's lookin' good to you tonight, Daryl?" she asked softly, pulling a mug out from under the counter and pouring him a steaming cup of coffee. Daryl grabbed the sugar Beth slid over and poured in a hefty spoonful.
"What're ya doin' here, girl? Ain't ever seen you waitin' tables."
"Oh I'm not really. Just helping out Lori with the Friday rush."
Daryl eyed her suspiciously. She seemed to be purposefully not looking at the other kids and they all seemed content not to notice her. He took a small sip of his coffee and pulled out his cigarettes.
"Jus' a burger, Beth. Tell T jus' whatever he's got left back there is fine. No fuss, ya got it?"
"You got it Daryl," Beth smiled and winked before disappearing back to the kitchen.
Daryl lit his cigarette and took a deep relaxing drag as Lori herded the kiddies out front.
"Alright kids, that's about all I can take of you tonight. Scat!" It was warmly meant and the kids each waved back affectionately as they tripped and skipped out the jingling door. The silence was welcomed and Daryl sighed into it, the kids' muffled excitement dulled to a comforting hum outside.
Dale stood up and dropped a few bills on the counter just as Beth reemerged from the kitchen with Daryl's food. She placed it gently in front of him along with a coke and smile. He grabbed up the burger before she's even turned away and dug in.
"'Evening Mr. Horvath!" Beth called in a sweet voice. Daryl knew she was never anything but polite.
"You say hi to your pops for me darlin'. Night Lori!" Dale nodded to Daryl before pushing open the door with a ring.
Beth's head turned at the ruckus let in from out front. One of the boys had a pretty blonde in his arms and was spinning her dizzily in circles. She was laughing wildly as the others hooted and hollered.
Daryl couldn't help but notice the sad wistful look on Beth's face as she stood slumped against the diner counter, chin propped on her small hand. He turned in his seat to the gang outside.
"Ain't those your pals out there?" He asked around his straw.
"Some of 'em," she muttered.
"That kid," Daryl swallowed and ticked his chin at the boy spinning the girl around, "seen him at the farm a time or two. Ain't he going with you?"
"He was."
At the way Beth's voice broke on her response, Daryl looked back to her. She was biting her lip so hard the skin turned white and her eyes were threatening to let loose the tears pooled at their corners. This was about to turn awkward. Fast.
Daryl didn't do crying girls. Wasn't his thing. He didn't know the first thing to do with them. He couldn't have Beth a crying mess in this dim and empty diner with only him to witness. Just where the hell had Lori run off to? He spotted her just before she disappeared into the back hall and their eyes met for a moment. She just shook her head in acknowledgement of Beth's distress and he nodded back in understanding. Don't ask about it. Got it.
But he looked back just as the first fat tear broke free and rolled down Beth's sharp cheek. Daryl jumped up from his stool and shook out his vest.
"Need a ride, girl?"
Beth jerked upright, clearly she'd been lost in her head watching those knuckleheads out front.
"But you haven't even finished your meal," she replied weakly.
Daryl grabbed up his half eaten burger and bit off a sizable chunk, tossing the rest back onto the plate. He grunted out around the bulge in his cheek, threw a few crumpled bills next to his plate and grabbed his cigarettes, shoving them into his back pocket.
"C'mon,"
Beth only hesitated for another moment, looking first to the kids out front and then back to Daryl. Unreadable thoughts racing across her face. Finally she came to a decision and turned back to the kitchen. She pushed open the door and called a farewell to T and Lori.
Lori popped out from the side hall. "Headin' out, Bethy?"
Daryl was at the door, hand on the glass as Beth swung around to face Lori.
"That alright, Lori? You and T okay to close up?"
"Of course, sweetie. You really shouldn't be here anyway. Pretty thing like you on a Friday night? Get!"
Beth blushed and ducked her head. Daryl opened the door and pushed her out ahead of him with a hand at her back. But she waited for him on the front step and when the rowdy kids all stopped to see who'd just exited, Beth slipped her arm around Daryl's elbow and looked straight ahead. Daryl didn't miss how a few of the kids zeroed in on their entwined arms. Two girls leaned in close to whisper and one boy nudged Beth's old beau in the shoulder, making him tip forward unsteadily. Beth tugged at Daryl and giving the lot of them his own indifferent glance, pulled Beth over to his bike.
She stopped short and let her hands slip from his arm as he swung up and over the bike, settling comfortably on the leather. Beth twisted her fingers in her skirt and surveyed the bike. Daryl noticed a few of the kids still watching them but chose to ignore it.
"What's a'matter, girl?"
"I just . . . never been on your bike before. Or anyone's actually."
"'The hell you think I was gonna ride you home? Get over here." He said gruffly, though not harshly.
Beth swished her skirt a little and Daryl took stock of her for the first time that night.
She was a pretty girl. Beautiful even. She'd grown up a lot since he'd first met her when he moved into this small farm town a few years back. She was a young woman now. Still young and sweet. She was small and delicate looking but she grew up on a farm so he knew she was tough. He'd seen her out doing her chores the different times he was out at the farm for this or that. He'd even seen her riding a time or two. She was a quiet, sweet girl, but she wasn't weak.
"Ain't much different than ol' Nelly," he assured her.
Beth giggled. "No I s'pose not. Though I haven't ever ridden in a skirt like this before."
Daryl looked her over. She was dressed in one of those fluffy little things that were so popular with girls these days. Full skirts just past their knees. It was a soft yellow with a little white blouse tucked in at her tiny waist, and although it looked quite sweet with her blond curls pinned back and her big blue eyes shining in the evening light, it definitely was not something he'd suggest she wear on a bike. But he'd offered the ride and she hadn't any other clothes to change into so they'd make due.
He flicked the hair off his eyes and grunted, "just climb on back and we'll tuck you in nice and snug." He hadn't meant anything by his words but at the look in her eyes - not offended, but curious, maybe - he felt his neck burning.
As she studied him silently, Daryl rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. Beth half turned her head back to the kids, not enough to see them though, and then came to her decision. She stepped up beside Daryl, placing a small warm hand softly on his shoulder and carefully lifted her leg up and over the other side of the bike. Daryl twisted around to help her tuck the skirt up under her legs and between their bodies, mindful of where his hands went. He felt the lingering blush creep up his neck at the intimacy of the action and silently thanked the growing darkness. When she was snug, he turned forward and revved up the bike.
"Hold on tight, girl. I mean it," he warned. And Beth didn't hesitate to snake her arms firmly around his middle. He felt his stomach clench unsettlingly at the sensation but pushed it back. Turning the bike around he revved it passed the group of gawking teens. He felt Beth turned her head away from them and lay it against his shoulder. And off they flew.
***
The ride wasn't long but with little Beth Greene's slim arms wrapped tightly around Daryl's middle and her warm cheek pressed to his back, the crickets singing in the wind whipping past them, he felt like time had stopped. And when they came up to the road her farm was on Beth gave him a squeeze and shouted into his ear, "not home yet. Please."
Daryl didn't answer. He just flew past her long drive and the front field. He wouldn't take her far. It was late. But her daddy had an old barn on the back of the property. Something he kept old cars and equipment in. Most of them hunks of junk not even Daryl could spring to life. But Herschel being Herschel, couldn't bring himself to toss the heaps so they sat idle in the old barn.
Daryl took the rough dirt road around the back of the property, pulling up along the side of the barn and shutting off the bike. The not-so-quiet silence was deafening after the roar of the bike. The crickets screamed now and the soft breeze out here in the open area of fields whispered soothingly in his ears. Daryl hopped off first and then helping Beth dismount, he watched her long soft legs disappear once more under her skirt.
It'd been a few months since he'd been up close to her. Sure, he'd seen her around town now and again and a time or two he'd been out to the farm when she was either coming or going from school. But it'd been months since they'd stood face to face like this. He couldn't help now noticing how much she'd grown over the spring. It was a little unsettling if he was being honest with himself. And he really didn't want to think of why.
Daryl liked Herschel. He was a straight shooting man. Didn't judge. Didn't ask too many questions. But he saw people. He was always fair with Daryl. Always welcoming. It seemed to Daryl that Herschel could see something in him that he identified with and it was for that reason that they'd gotten on well over the years. Daryl was by no means a family friend, per se. He wasn't invited to Christmas brunch. But they treated him with respect and kindness and that's really all Daryl could ever hope for in life.
Beth. Beth was a sweet girl. She always gave him her bright smile when she saw him. A kind "hello, Mr. Dixon" and sincere inquiry after his well being. It didn't take him long to break her of that silly habit. Mr. Dixon. Christ, if he hated the sound of it! But she was always the one to bring him a cold glass of sweet tea if she was home when he was by and he'd only ever felt her kind regard of him to be an extension of Herschel's.
And he couldn't fuck with that. Never had the inclination to. She was just a girl he knew.
But he just couldn't shake the way he was feeling now in Beth's presence tonight. And he still didn't know what he was feeling.
Just off. And unsettled.
It'd been months and she was grown now. She had that air about her a girl gets when she's at that precipice of womanhood. Like she was vibrating with a thirst for knowledge and experience and freedom. Like she was looking at the world completely new. Her rose-coloured glasses were replaced with a monocular and all she could see for miles around was truth and opportunity. It was captivating to see.
She was looking at him again, hands clasped firmly below her waist. Her elbows bent in slightly in a little "V". Her big baby eyes were shining in the moonlight and a polite little smile pulled at her lips.
Daryl shuffled uncomfortably. Clearing his throat, he pulled out another cigarette and lit it. Beth ducked her head and moved past him to the wobbly bench against the front of the barn. She settled herself and patted the spot next to her.
"Come. Sit."
He only hesitated for a moment, fidgeting awkwardly with his fingers before joining her. He didn't sit right next to her. She was looking at him too much and too closely and he couldn't shake it off.
They sat silently together for a while, just listening to the night sounds and enjoying the quiet company of one another. Or at least she was. Daryl was just trying not to jump up and bolt to his bike. He was mentally berating himself for not taking her straight home. The fuck was he thinking? Girl was in tears back there at the diner. What the hell was he expecting to happen taking an emotional girl somewhere private? She was gonna fucking cry her pretty face off right here in front of him, he knew it and he didn't know how the hell he was going to deal with that.
"Haven't seen you 'round much lately," Beth spoke, breaking the silence with her soft voice.
"Yeah, garage's been busy. Always is in the spring. Folks bringin' their cars 'round after the winter. S'been a bit nuts."
"I can imagine. You must like the pace though." Daryl looked at Beth questioningly. She blushed a bit, though Daryl didn't know why. "I just meant that...you're always doin' this and that and keepin' busy. You seem like you like that. Bein' busy, I mean."
She was talking too fast and fidgeting with the pleats in her skirt again and Daryl couldn't help but notice all of this with an unsettling itch up his spine. He studied her for a few beats and deriving nothing from her behaviour, Daryl looked back out to the rustling lot of grass.
"S'pose. Ain't got much else to do." He took one last pull from his cigarette and dropped the bud to his feet, crushing it into the dirt with the toe of his boot.
"You must have somethin' you like to do for fun though? It can't be good to work all the time."
"Go huntin'. When I can," he mumbled. It wasn't personal or any kind of secret, but Daryl wasn't much used to talking about himself.
"Oh yes, I knew that." He could hear a smile in her tone but he was hunched over with his elbows on his knees and something kept him from looking back at her over his shoulder. Maybe it was how she said it, like she knew him and she was inclined to watching him. He felt his gut clench at that thought.
After a moment of silence filled with chirping crickets, Beth asked, almost timidly, "what does your girl say about you workin' so hard?"
That startled Daryl and he did fling back to look at her. Beth's expression looked innocent enough and a little startled herself, probably by his abrupt reaction.
"Girl? What girl you talkin' about?" He knew his tone was harsh and he hadn't meant to sound so angry but he hated rumours and he tried desperately to remember who he'd maybe been seen around with, casually as it may've been.
Beth's eyes were wide and she shook her head a little frantically, afraid she'd offended him or overstepped some line. "No one, swear! I just . . . I've never seen you goin' with anyone, I just figured . . . handsome guy like you . . . must have a girl."
Beth was blushing furiously now and she couldn't meet his eyes but Daryl was too damn stunned by what she'd said to look away from her. Or say anything back straight away. Handsome. She thought he was handsome? Or was she just saying so . . . Why would she just say so? He was an old, rough son of a bitch. Nothing about him a sweet thing like her would like.
He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously but she wouldn't yet look at him. He noticed her swallow thickly and knowing she was terribly uncomfortable with the change of mood, he turned forward again.
"Ain't got no old lady, Beth," he muttered back, "and I'd appreciate you not sayin' so 'round town. Don't need nobody in my business."
"I'm sorry Daryl, I didn't mean anythin' by it. Honest."
The silence was tense now. Uncomfortable, where before it was just unsettling in a way. He bent forward and picked some weeds, stripping the little seeds off one at a time. Beth didn't say anything again for a good while.
"At the diner," he began, voice quiet, not used to breaking the silence but wanting to ease Beth's discomfort a little, "you wasn't with them kids."
And he knew perfectly well how fucked it was for him to ask that. He practically bit her head off a moment ago for getting too personal with him. And there were any number of things he could ask her that weren't personal like this: if she was excited for her upcoming graduation; how her sister was getting on in Atlanta; what her plans were for the fall. Because he knew there was something more to what he'd seen at the diner, knew his question wasn't just polite conversation. He knew she knew this too. But still, he couldn't curb his curiosity.
Beth was no outsider. But the tension between her and those kids . . . it was suspect.
"I wasn't," she offered freely and Daryl was instantly filled with guilt at how easily she gave him what he'd asked for; how she didn't immediately get on the defense. "Jimmy and I . . ."
Daryl waited for her to continue but she didn't, and he knew she wanted to; could feel how the need to confide radiated off her. She was bothered by it and she felt alone. He knew it. He knew it because he'd felt it often, too. Though, maybe her dilemma wasn't as life threatening as his had once been, he could feel how in her safe little world, this maybe wasn't so easy to endure alone. After all, her mother was dead and her sister in Atlanta. And if all her friends were the kids in that diner, clearly she'd felt a divide.
And even though he couldn't, for the life of him, understand why he was even asking, why he was even offering his ears to her, Daryl couldn't keep himself from urging her on.
"You said you wasn't goin' together no more." It wasn't a question. She'd said as much before.
Beth huffed a little laugh, though there was no amusement in it, just hurt and maybe a little embarrassment. "Jimmy said he didn't want to see me anymore. Said he and Amy had been talkin' some and maybe he thought we should see other people now. Like it was simple as all that."
"Amy?"
"She was the girl he was playin' 'round with at the diner."
Daryl nodded. He didn't really know what else to say and struggled with a few questions flipping through his head. "You two been goin' together long?"
"Not really, few months, I guess. I'm not really all that broken up about Jimmy, actually. I mean, he was a good guy mostly and sure he's nice looking the way boys are. . ."
She trailed off and Daryl wasn't sure where she was going with all this and couldn't understand, given what she'd said about not really caring about Jimmy particularly, why she was so down about all of it.
"Thing is, it was never gonna work out. Jimmy's not really the kind of boy I see myself with and it's silly, I know, and I guess hypocritical given that, but the thing was, I wasn't what he'd seen himself with either."
"'Fuck's that mean?" Daryl was so lost. Couldn't figure out what the girl was on about and he certainly didn't know nothing about silly kids and their social dramas.
But Beth was fidgeting uncomfortably now and couldn't say what was on the tip of her tongue.
"Spit it out, girl. Got no clue what you're on about."
"It's just . . . well, you saw Amy," she said, as if it was obvious what that girl had to do with all this.
He grunted his agreement but she must have gotten how he didn't see what she was inferring. And then it all poured out of her and it took an effort to keep up with the tirade.
"Well, Jimmy said that he just felt like, since we were all done with school and he was goin' off to college in the fall that he was a man now and that maybe I hadn't quite finished growin' up. Said he was lookin' for a woman now, not a girl and that he shouldn't expect me to try and fill that role for him. And I know he was talkin' about sex'n stuff," they both blushed furiously at her use of such a word and Beth swallowed visibly before continuing her rant. "But I'm not some silly child! And I know he doesn't see me like a woman and . . . well, you saw Amy!" She sounded frantic now and her voice was too loud in the dark. "She's beautiful and mature and she's what men are lookin' for. And I'm not . . . I'm not like her."
"The fuck . . . ?"
"I know, Daryl! I know what Jimmy was sayin'. And I know I shouldn't care. And it's like I said, I don't really care about Jimmy thinkin' that, but what if he's right and that's what men really do want and so no one's ever gonna want me and I'll be alone forever and-"
"Beth!" She stopped short at his tone with her mouth hanging open mid sentence. She shut it at the look on his face and maybe the realization of what she'd been saying to a man who, for all intents and purposes, was at the very least a stranger. At the most, nothing more than a family acquaintance of her father's. She blinked at him.
"Beth. Kid's a fuckin' moron if he thinks that."
She was studying him with the oddest expression, caught somewhere between embarrassment and intrigue. He really felt like he couldn't continue. He wasn't a talker and he certainly wasn't good at talking with girls or women, let alone setting straight a young woman's silly ideas of what real men want or what she should even care about what they wanted. And he really didn't want to continue talking but Beth was smarter than this and maybe it was this whole night and the feelings he was getting with her but he just had to set her straight.
He had to.
"And you gotta wise up, girl, if you think any of that crap even matters." He couldn't look at her as he spoke the words. It was difficult enough to get them out and maybe she could hardly understand what he was saying anyway as he mumbled, but he pushed on. "Don't matter what some asshole says you should look like or what you should do for him. You're one of the prettiest girls . . . prettiest women and you ain't gonna have no trouble with guys linin' the block for you. This here's a small town and Jimmy's one kid who don't know his ass from his forehead."
He did look at Beth then and she looked so damn startled by his own rant. With everything that they'd both said. They'd undoubtedly cross the line of social propriety and he seriously questioned the amount of respect this showed for Herschel. But the way she was looking back at him and the confusion on her face was enough to have him blabbering on.
"And yeah, maybe he's lookin' for some tits to go with a pretty smile, but he's gonna learn right quick which girls he ought to be concernin' himself with. Ain't nothin' Amy's gonna give him that's worth anythin', Beth. And that kind of man with them ideas ain't got nothin' worth a damn for you."
That was it. He didn't have anything left to say. He'd already said way too much and the sickening regret of his words and behaviour was settling low in his belly. Squinting out into the dark grassy field, he rubbed his palms together and swallowed thickly. Would she just fucking say something?
Daryl refused to look back at her. He couldn't. But as he was contemplating how he was going to coerce her back onto his bike, after all the shit he'd just spewed, so he could take her back to her daddy, he felt her warm soft hand settle on his forearm. Her thin fingers curled gently around the tensed muscle and she waited. Waited for what, he didnt know but when he finally mustered the courage to look back at her, Beth didn't waste a moment in leaning forward and placing her lips softly against his.
Daryl was too stunned at first to react at all and he half expected her to just pull away when she realized what she'd done. But she didn't. Of course she didn't. The little she did pull back was only so she could part her lips slightly and press them back into his, her top lip slotting into the crease of his and her bottom lip cradling his own. Her fingers tightened on his arm and she sighed a little into him, her warm breath tickling his cheek.
He didn't kiss her back. He wouldn't go so far as to claim that, but he did part his own lips a little to allow her mouth to fit with his more firmly. And it was terrifying and confusing and comforting and his heart was jumping widely in his chest. She was so fucking soft and it felt like it'd been a really long time since he'd felt warmth like this and her sweet, pretty scent was doing things to his head.
When Beth did pull back, her big baby eyes actually fluttered open and the clear summer moon made them sparkle. At least that's what Daryl told himself. It certainly wasn't his silly romantic sentiments.
She blinked a few times at him and his eyes dropped to her lips when they parted.
"Oh," was all she said on a breath.
Oh, indeed!
But she smiled widely and he was speechless in the face of it. A little girlish giggle slipped out of her, almost, it seemed, against her will, because she shook her head and stood up. Beth smoothed out her skirt and took a deep breath. Daryl couldn't remember when he'd taken a breath last.
"Will you take me home now, Mr. Dixon?"
And he really didn't hate the sound of Beth calling him that now. He should've. Fuck, if he should've! But she was teasing him, he knew and she smiled so coyly and she looked too bright in her pretty yellow skirt and blouse in this dark grassy field next to a dilapidated barn.
So, chewing on his lip, Daryl nodded jerkily and pushed up on his knees. He shook out his vest and without looking too closely at Beth - because she was still glowing - Daryl moved to his bike and climbed back on. Beth mounted carefully, as she'd done back at the diner and Daryl helped her tuck herself in again. He didn't have to remind her to hold on tight and her head rested gently against his shoulder comfortably now, instead of self-consciously.
He wasn't sure what made him do it, but Daryl dropped his hand to her arms, crossed over one another at his waist and just held them for a moment. She may have squeezed a little tighter and he may have allowed his lips to pull up at the corner slightly, but then he settled his hands back on the bars and revved up.
"Let's go, girl."
